154: TheDildoHubdotCom - 1 Star Review

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:00

Should we have a, um, explicit content warning for today's

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:03

I think we might need to have an explanation.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:05

I don't want any, I don't want, like, my niece to be listening to this episode.

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:10

Mommy, what's intimate earth Caramel.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:12

uh, uh,

VOICEOVER: 00:00:16

Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian, It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore, Someone's gotta settle the score., Trey and Chelsey will help you choose, Trey and Chelsey will help

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:45

hello,

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:47

Hi and welcome listeners to review that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:51

Review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:51

We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:57

Reviews.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:00

I wanted to give you a different read there.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:02

I know it's funny after, if you're not on our Patreon, we, we talk extensively about that opening and it's evolution.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:09

Anyway, that is your co-host, Chelsea, Don.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:11

And that is your co host, Trey Gerald.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:13

But, together as an entity, we are,

VOICEOVER: 00:01:17

Review Queens,

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:20

and as Review Queens, we not only dissect complaints, but we also have some of our own.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:26

We understand the value of decompression, so Chelsey, I want to give you the decompression platform.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:33

Is there anything that you need

VOICEOVER: 00:01:34

Ledge a complaint,

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:36

about today?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:37

I don't know if it's just that, like, I'm getting older and things annoy me more and I'm more kvetchy, which I'm willing to accept.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:43

But.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:44

I feel like changing my sheets didn't used to be such a big deal.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:50

It was like, I just did it, right?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:51

Like change my sheets, did my thing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:53

Now it's like, I got to clear the afternoon.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:56

Like I'm exhausted.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:57

It's my workout for the day.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:59

There's just so much that happens.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:01

Every time I need to change my sheets, change the pillowcase to change a thing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:05

It's like, I just feel like.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:06

I gotta cancel my plans, like I can't, I can't even take it anymore and I'm like exhausted and I'm winded by the end of the process and I'm by myself and I'm trying to get the fitted sheet on and the side is lifting and the side, it's just such a annoying process that is one of those things that like I'm gonna repeat it because I want to be clean so I'm gonna change the sheets, it's gonna happen, You know, that's non negotiable, but it's annoying every time.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:33

Can you relate?

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:33

Oh, okay, this is so funny, and maybe I can't do it now, but my other option for, like, an upcoming Royal Highness is the clean sheet feeling, and my complaint was gonna be the effort of changing the linens, because it really is a thing.

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:49

What size mattress do you have?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:51

Queen.

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:52

Okay, so I've always had a queen but in our new house We do have a king and it's even more Complicated because you have to like get on all fours You have to go all the way around the bed You have to like because you can't just yank it and then like you have to like go under on all four corners and then God when you're putting them back on it's like it is so much easier when you have someone to help and then don't get me Started with duvet covers and the fucking little buttons and then like tying it on the inside and then flipping it out Yes,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:18

I did it, I inverted, and now I'm crooked, I need to untie.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:24

Oh

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:24

like, I totally hear that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:26

It is such a dumb, stupid annoyance, but my God, my God, I totally relate.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:31

And I don't know how to make it better.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:33

No, I know that on Shark Tank there was this thing called like the better better or something like that and I might need to look into it but it's like a headband that you put around the mattress and then you're supposed to like tuck the sheet into it and it like Makes it like it's supposed to make it easier and it's also supposed to like hold in those corners so that you don't have the Like lift.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:52

Maybe I need to look into that I also think it's like also maybe depends on how much space you have around the bed I don't know Because I feel like it's kind of tight getting all the way around the bed and the corners for me.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:03

So like if I have all the space in the world, like a bed in a big open room, it might be easier, but like it's annoying.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:10

We know it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:10

It's like one of those life things, little things that we know it's going to happen.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:15

We know it's coming.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:15

It's like the laundry.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:16

It's like all the dishes or whatever.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:19

And it's just annoying.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:20

So I wanted to add it to the ledger because I don't know that we've properly talked about it, to be honest.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:24

Well, I totally hear it, and I would implore you, try that Shark Tank thing, and then tell us how it

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:30

better.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:31

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:32

curious, I want to know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:33

right.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:33

I'm making myself a note here.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:35

Better, better.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:36

I think I need to try it guys.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:37

Cause I'm really like at the end of my, my rope here.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:40

All right.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:41

I feel better.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:42

I got that off my chest.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:44

Well, speaking of being in the bed,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:46

that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:47

segue without even knowing, because we are going to get a little spicy today, Chelsey, are you ready to jump in to an online review with me?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:56

Oh, Trey, I thought you'd never ask.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:59

I am ready.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:01

I am ready.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:01

I'm ready.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:02

Let's hold hands.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:03

Let's jump in.

VOICEOVER: 00:05:06

Review That Review,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:10

As your trusty review queens, we bring in internet reviews that we feel need to be inspected.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:17

we read you a review, break it down, and then we rate the impact of that review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:24

I'm trying to get as deep as I can.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:26

On a scale, all the way from zero, five crowns.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:32

It's a really regal process.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:34

Here we go.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:34

It's gonna be so loud.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:35

That we call.

VOICEOVER: 00:05:36

Assess That Kvetch,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:39

That's right, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:40

And, um, what have you brought in for us today?

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:44

Well, so Chelsey and I are channeling the adult film card of our Meryl Go Round section that you can listen to on our after show.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:51

Well, here we go.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:53

You may have guessed, Chelsey subliminally got the hint, but doesn't know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:57

You know because you know our episode titles.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:59

But today, Chelsey, I have a one star trust pilot review for A little website called thedildohub.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:09

com.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:10

a real site?

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:14

So, it is a real site.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:20

It has 4.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:20

6 out of 5 on Trustpilot.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:25

Trustpilot?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:25

Oh my

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:25

They do solicit reviews, so I'm certain after going through, you know, like the 7 pages of reviews, there's like 4 one stars.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:35

I think they give you a kickback, I would imagine.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:37

But

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:37

Got it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:38

So yeah, I found this because I was like, I was going through the categories on Trustpilot for, I was like, how do I find something that's different?

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:45

And I, it was adult entertainment, which I didn't realize was like a synonym for like sex work.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:52

So then it was like all this like porn stuff and I was like, this is funny, like whatever.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:55

But right under, this is so weird, the category right under adult entertainment is children's entertainment.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:01

So then I was like, this is too X rated, I'm gonna go to

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:03

You're like, you should, yeah,

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:05

But then that was weird and I was like, no, I'm going to go back to the adult.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:09

So today, we're going to talk through this review for thedildohub.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:13

com.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:14

okay, I'm excited.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:16

I don't know why I said I, I think it was the children comment.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:20

Well, here we go.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:21

Let me just give you a quick background in case you aren't sure what products thedildohub.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:25

com

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:26

Oh my goodness.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:27

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:28

says premium American quality.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:30

Welcome to a world where pleasure knows no bounds.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:33

We're your one stop sexy emporium for top notch adult novelties and enticing pleasure products, crafted with love and care from the best brands around.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:43

Get ready for a wild adventure with our made to order, hand poured, fantasy dildos and animal dildos.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:51

We're not getting into

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:52

Wait, what?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:52

Oh my God.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:53

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:54

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:55

I mean, there's been a few things said so far that I'm like,

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:59

yeah, it's a wild one.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:01

So here we go.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:01

So wait, made to order quickly.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:03

So is this one of those places where it's like you can get your partner's member made into a dildo?

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:10

I have not gone to the actual website, but in scouring the reviews, I have found they actually, they hand pour based on softness, girth, all of these other things that you can custom

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:23

it's like a survey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:24

Like I wanted this thick.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:26

I want it this long.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:27

exactly.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:28

And it takes 30 days.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:30

So the majority of the one star and the two or three stars are the length of time it takes, but it is like they're custom

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:37

Which relatable?

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:40

heard how long it takes.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:42

So, all right, we have this one star, the dildohub.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:46

com review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:47

Written by Anima Tweek, one word, Anima Tweek.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:54

They have two reviews.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:54

They live in Australia.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:56

It's been verified.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:57

The date of their experience was March 30th, 2024,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:00

Oh, so recent.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:02

pretty recent and the subject today is No caps, wrong lubes.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:11

Wrong moves.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:12

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:14

Okay, here we go.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:15

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:19

I got all the toys and other accessories correct, but when it came to the lubes, None were what I asked for.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:32

I really wanted Intimate Earth Caramel,

VOICEOVER: 00:09:38

Oh

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:41

but instead, I got some other random company's vanilla.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:47

I've been searching the sites for Intimate Earth Caramel, when I find it with you guys, I ordered for three and still got none.

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:05

Why advertise when you don't even supply?

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:08

I

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:12

Oh my god, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:14

I'm dead.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:15

The background music, I loved it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:19

Way to raise the bar once again, Queen.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:22

I can always count on you.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:24

All right, so, hilarious.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:26

Thank you for bringing this in.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:28

I want to just ask a clarifying question.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:30

So, Intimate Earth Caramel.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:36

Now,

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:38

just think that needs a moan after every time it's said because that is in all caps.

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:41

They don't capitalize any of their punctuation except for none was in all caps and then anytime they say intimate

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:49

Earth Caramel.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:50

So,

VOICEOVER: 00:10:51

oh,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:53

is what they're saying about the Intimate Earth Caramel,

VOICEOVER: 00:10:57

oh, oh, oh,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:01

Intimate Earth is like the brand and then caramel is the flavor.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:08

Is this right?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:09

So like I've been looking, I've been scouring the internet for Intimate Earth Caramel, and I finally found it on dildohub.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:22

com, so I, the dildohub.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:26

com, so I excitedly purchased three

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:30

correct

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:31

containers of Intimate Earth Caramel, and I received none.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:38

And instead, I received, is it Intimate Earth Vanilla, or a totally different

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:45

it says random companies

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:47

A random company

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:48

It hasn't even caramel.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:50

So it's not even caramel, it's certainly not Intimate Earth Caramel.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:53

Ehhhhhhhhh.

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:57

I hope that you guys are watching this episode specifically for, cause Chelsey knows what she's doing, so every time she is, she, there's this inhalation and this flutter in her eyelashes and then every time she just does her hand to the side, like she's that meme, or that like emoji, where she's like here it comes.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:15

effect.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:15

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:17

Yeah, so basically I know that there was a lot of distractions in that review, but it's basically Everything was correct that I ordered except for the lubrications or the lubricants We're not the company that I've scoured the internet trying to find this exact product

CHELSEY DONN: 00:12:31

right, Intimate

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:32

That I ordered from you and it was a random.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:36

Oh, and it was a random company's vanilla So it wasn't the product.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:41

It wasn't even the scent profile.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:44

You're a company that I ordered from.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:46

That's

CHELSEY DONN: 00:12:46

Yeah, I think this is pretty queenly.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:12:49

I, like, I think that it's a pretty egregious error to just send someone a new product without identifying that the product that they ordered, the Intimate Earth Caramel, was out of stock.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:13:02

As like, I think that, I think out of a tweak of all people, because they've been scouring the internet for Intimate Earth Caramel, They would be more accepting than anybody else, that it's out of stock.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:13:18

So I think that it was a real missed opportunity by this company not to just come clean, no pun intended, about being out of stock of the Intimate Earth Caramel.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:13:32

From the get, like sending someone a different lube that they didn't order feels like a real offense.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:40

I agree.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:41

It's that's actually really egregious to me.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:45

Also, this is not like a hammer that you can just buy.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:48

You can buy one of those at CVS like a lubricant.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:52

Maybe you have sex shame.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:53

Maybe you feel uncomfortable to go to CVS and purchase that like you're choosing it from a website.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:13:59

It's also not available everywhere.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:02

this isn't KY Jelly, you're wanting something very specific, so, why would you just supplement something random, I think it's pretty valuable to share that you ordered a very specific thing, they subbed it out without even telling you, it's not like you're ordering delivery from like Papa John's and they were out of pepperoni so they put sausage, like, you can't just like, do that, you ordered specific items,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:25

You ordered three of what?

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:28

Intimate Earth Caramel.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:32

Do you say Caramel or Caramel?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:34

Car I think I do say caramel.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:36

I think caramel is weird to me, but I also know some people say it that way.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:39

So, I also want to say, as on the spelling grammar front, I've already mentioned, they have punctuation, but they don't do caps anywhere except for the name of this company, of this, and this, yeah, of my own name.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:52

Okay, um, I think it's truthful.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:55

I believe them because they start with, you know, they got the toys and the other accessories right, but like, why would you substitute this without any communication?

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:03

That makes literally no sense.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:04

yeah And I I'm going back and forth in my head of whether or not like This should be a one star because we're saying like we liked other things But I do think it should be because I think it's that big of an offense and I think that adding The fact that everything else was good is that compliment sandwich that I like in a one star review because it makes me trust you more.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:26

It makes me feel like you're not looking to complain.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:28

Like I really feel Anima here that they really wanted this product and they were looking everywhere for it and they were excited.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:36

Can you imagine?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:36

Like we all know that feeling.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:38

of searching the internet for something that we really like that we just can't find and finally landing on the place that has it shipping confirmation and seeing it's coming and it arrived and then that's what a disappointment you know opening it up waiting for oh i looked everywhere for this thank goodness what the heck is this you Vanilla is not caramel

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:02

No, it's not even close.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:04

Okay,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:05

not even the same

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:05

it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:06

I'm sending it to you, Chelsey, because this is like a company called Intimate Earth.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:11

It's interesting because the actual name is Salted Caramel Natural Flavors Glide.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:19

Because what's occurring to me is And you can buy this on Amazon, so, okay, so maybe, but whatever, you ordered a specific product, and my concern was, if you just substitute something else, maybe there's, like, an allergy, or maybe, like, maybe you need the water based, not the petroleum based, or, like, it seems odd to me, it does have stevia in it, okay, that's

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:38

I also, to point out now that I'm looking at the product, this is an organic product.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:44

Everything in here is like plant derived, purified water, aloe, like everything.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:51

Alloleaf extract, like goji fruit extract, like very specific organic ingredients, so I can even more understand how upsetting that would be if I then receive just a generic product that probably isn't organic.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:06

I'm looking up K Y right now.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:07

I wonder what the K Y ingredients are.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:09

K Y jelly, right, water, glycerin, hydroxycellulose, chlorhexidine, gluconate, gluconatone,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:19

that stuff is just things you can't pronounce.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:23

no, it's not, right, there's an intentional Oh, intention for purchasing this and this isn't this reviewer is in australia so maybe it's more challenging there that you know the more i dissect this i'm feeling a little like i would want to know is this common are you just going to sub out a product without communicating it to me you can't do that you're like a vendor i'm purchasing things from you

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:44

that's an immediate violation of trust between the purchaser and the store, the conglomerate or the provider.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:51

Yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:52

and you know what And I think what's overall, like, on top of all of this, is that it is, like, a specialty product.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:59

I don't know, I feel like people get squirmy around sex.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:01

So, like, it just feels like I'm not trying to buy something generic, like, and I'm doing it because they have discreet, uh, packaging, and, like, I'm buying it online, and, and they're, so, I don't know, it just feels a little, like, eugh, to me.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:17

Yeah, I totally agree.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:19

You can really insert any product or any circumstance, and this is completely unacceptable.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:25

It's just it without any acknowledgement, without saying, I'm switching it out to just switch it out.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:30

Even ordering groceries, they give you the option to like.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:35

Select like, I don't want this to be swapped out, you know, and sometimes even when I don't do that, The person that's shopping for me will still message me and be like, hey, actually don't have XYZ.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:45

Is this okay?

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:46

you mentioned this at the very top, but like, think about how specific, like, they ordered three of them, so you're not just modifying something, you're modifying three items.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:57

Yeah, I'm, I'm feeling more on Anima's side right now.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:01

I'm definitely on Anima's this is a good review.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:03

I think I like it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:04

I like the compliment sandwich of it all and I like that we're honing in on like a specific issue.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:10

It's not just like, I hate this company.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:12

This company is horrible.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:13

Here's everything bad about them.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:14

It's like, no, this is like enough.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:16

This is enough information.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:18

It didn't kind of rattle on and on and on.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:20

It got to the point.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:21

It got the job done.

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:23

Never enough!

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:24

never.

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:25

I can crown this.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:27

Okay, let's crown.

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:28

So, Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards.

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:32

In an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will simultaneously reveal our Intimate Earth Caramel Ratings.

VOICEOVER: 00:19:41

The Queen's are tabulating.

VOICEOVER: 00:19:42

Time for school!

VOICEOVER: 00:19:48

There's

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:54

held up four and a half crowns, I just went for the Review Queen because I think that this is sort of the perfect one star review, it does exactly everything that I want a one star to be, which is get to the point, tell me what was wrong with it without slandering too much or just seeming curmudgeon y, I thought it was like, Interesting.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:14

We've never done a review like this before.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:16

I really just was on Anima's side very early on and fully got it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:21

And I think that that is hard to do when you're angry about something.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:24

I think it's hard to stick to the point.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:26

I think it's hard to just like be heard.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:28

And I heard Anima here.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:29

So that was why I went with a review queen, five crowns.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:33

Why did you go with four and a half?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:35

I know there was a

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:36

Yeah, that's the only thing.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:38

I mean, the only thing missing is like, I know you can use the caps button.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:42

So it just, it's like, I don't know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:44

It just seems a little juvenile.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:45

It seems a little lacking in accuracy when your complaint is that they have lacked in accuracy.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:51

That's all.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:52

I mean, it's personal, whatever.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:53

It's a very strong review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:54

And the more we dissected it, the more I felt on the side of, of Anima for sure.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:59

fun.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:01

There's a reply.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:03

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:04

All right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:05

All right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:05

So we do have a reply.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:07

This might impact my Review Queen status.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:10

We'll

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:10

let's see.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:11

So, on the same day of the review, we have a reply from TheDildoHub.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:18

com.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:18

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:23

Oh, my God.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:25

Hey, Anima.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:27

First off, we're relieved to hear all your toys and accessories arrived spot on.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:37

Dash.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:38

We take great care in getting every part.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:42

of your order, just right?

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:50

We're really sorry, girl.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:51

It doesn't say girl.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:53

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:58

for the up with your lubes,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:22:03

nice.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:03

just to make sure we're on the same page.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:07

We reached out earlier to chat about the Intimate Earth stock pickup to tide you over.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:22:19

Woo!

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:19

We've upgraded.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:21

Your replacements, with a bit more oomph, in liquid ounces, Hoping to add a little extra joy, Until we sort this out, Plus, as a heartfelt sorry, We've fast tracked your shipping, To a speedy three to five days, All on us, Once those, Intimate Earth, oh fuck,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:01

Ha, ha, ha!

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:11

Hmm.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:17

for your understanding and for letting us make things right, We're here for you, aiming to make every bit of your experience sailing, Cheers and thanks again, The Team, at The Dome.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:41

Dildo Hub com.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:52

Oh my god, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:55

It's just, that was such a great reading.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:58

Can I just take a moment to give you a little bit of an applause there?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:02

That was like, wow, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:04

I'm turned on.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:05

I think that was The perfect reply.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:09

a good reply.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:10

Right?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:11

And it doesn't take away from my actual Review Queen status for Anima.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:17

In fact, it kind of makes me feel like Anima did the assignment, really did what they should have done, which was air their disappointment about what happened.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:26

And clearly it was effective because right away they were like, yeah, we want to fix this issue.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:33

They reached out to chat with Anima.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:35

Right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:36

They're giving them replacements for free, they're upgrading them, and then once they are back in stock with intimate Earth, they're gonna send them to them for free, so,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:47

I can see a world because you said this review was written in March of this year, right?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:53

So I can see a world in which like maybe they're still waiting for the product, maybe when the product gets in and they deliver it and they give them the extra ounces or whatever and and they give them fast shipping and everything that they're promising here.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:04

Assuming they deliver, I can see there being an addendum to this review.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:08

I can see there being a change of the star count.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:12

I think that the company did a really good job of not like blaming anybody and also taking responsibility.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:19

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:19

I think it was A plus.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:20

and like I'm sort of skewing the narrative here with the music, but I got lost on this Trust Pilot page.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:26

I highly implore everyone within the sound of my voice, go to trustpilot.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:31

com, type in thedildohub.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:34

com, because they literally leave a reply on every review, and it's very full of personality.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:40

They are titillating in their word choice, which I think is so on brand and

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:44

Yeah, it was very branded.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:45

It seemed like they hired a PR person to reply to these reviews and I'm like, not mad.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:51

As long as they follow through, I'm not mad.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:53

They're very cheeky, which is very cute.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:55

I mean, it like, it feels like a real thought out brand.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:58

So like, if I were to tabulate this, I would say it's five crowns.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:02

I would say it's five crowns too.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:03

I think this is a five crown reply.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:06

Again, assuming that they, assuming that they follow through with what they've set up.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:12

This is, uh, A very good reply

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:15

I think so,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:16

and I think that like they really struck that line like they didn't blame the other person.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:20

They took full responsibility and yet they still kind of come off on top.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:26

So kudos.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:27

Kudos.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:28

I'm gonna have to check out this website.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:30

I think

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:30

I want everyone

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:31

gained a new respect.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:33

I think we've got it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:33

We got to find a Review That Review, uh, discount for our listeners.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:37

Subs

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:38

Oh, I bet they would help.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:39

We'll see.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:40

Maybe that'll

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:40

we're gonna reach out to them.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:41

This was a very, very interesting review and reply Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:45

I'm so glad that you brought this in.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:47

I think this is like textbook, both the way to write a negative review and also a way to reply to a negative review.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:56

I think this is like Queen, double Queen approved.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:59

I love it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:00

Well, thank you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:01

All I have to say is,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:06

All I have to say is Intimate Earth Caramel.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:12

Thank you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:13

Well, we have done it, Queens.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:14

We have reached the most regal portion of our show.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:17

So Chelsey, tell us, who are you inducting today for?

VOICEOVER: 00:27:22

Royal Highness.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:23

Okay, I have this product that I use all the time called Folex.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:28

It's technically a carpet cleaner, but it's amazing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:33

It was actually recommended to me by a professional carpet cleaner because my carpets are atrocious, but that's another story for another patreon.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:41

Anyway, this product is Beyond just carpets, it gets like any stain out, like red wine, like what, whatever it is.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:50

My mom was visiting and she got some big old ink stain on my duvet and my sheets, and I didn't handle it well.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:01

I was very upset about it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:04

And I spent a long while kind of scrubbing with a full X, and I think ink is probably the hardest thing to get out.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:10

And between the scrubbing with the Folex and then putting it through the wash afterwards, the stain is almost completely gone.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:17

And I feel like, what?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:19

Like, you can't, it's impossible to remove.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:22

It was a huge ink blot, right?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:24

So, I had to take a moment to thank Folex and the creators of this product.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:29

I will keep ordering.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:31

If you have a stain, even if it's an old stain on a rug or something that you need to get out, I highly implore you to order some Folex.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:38

It's worked wonders for me.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:40

Full X, you are my Royal Highness and thank you for your service.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:45

I love that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:46

I'm always looking for like products like that that actually really do work.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:50

All right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:50

Well, thank you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:51

Thanks for the heads up.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:54

anytime.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:54

All right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:55

Well, we did a queen.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:56

That is another round on the R U A R Q Ferris wheel of Intimate Earth Caramel.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:03

That's right.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:04

Thank you for joining us today.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:05

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:11

And girl, you didn't like what you heard, Tell KY Jelly,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:17

On this week's After Show Pod, we are rating and reviewing

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:26

know you're multi tasking because you always have to buy time and this is really helping you.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:31

a one star review from a new source, covesentials.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:37

com.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:40

What?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:41

Yeah, for a daily clip in stone,

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:47

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:49

Well,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:50

it's a hair clip.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:51

I really can't wait to figure out why this was said.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:57

Do you remember the first time that you ever went into a sex shop or your, like, experience with your first dildo, vibrator, et cetera, or just a fun story?

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:09

What a personal question.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:10

It's, it's Patreon.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:11

So

VOICEOVER: 00:30:12

Oh

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:15

me too.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:17

Rawr, hi.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:19

I like this vibe for the exit.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:22

Well, Queen, stay mellow, stay intimately earthed in caramel, and please, never forget girl.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:32

Ignore the haters.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:35

You're a queen.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:38

Yeah, baby.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:39

Ge Yeah, baby.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:41

Gender non specific, Queen.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:44

Yeah, baby.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:46

baby.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:46

Bye.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:47

Intimate, Earth, Caramel, Queen.

VOICEOVER: 00:30:51

Ah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:52

Bye, Queens.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:54

Oh my god.

VOICEOVER: 00:30:56

Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show.

VOICEOVER: 00:31:00

Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon member@reviewthatreview.com slash patreon.

VOICEOVER: 00:31:06

Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing list@reviewthatreview.com.

VOICEOVER: 00:31:12

Arc vetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

VOICEOVER: 00:31:16

Don't be a vetch line today.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:20

Should we have a, um, explicit content warning for today's

CHELSEY DONN: 00:31:24

I think we might need to have an explicit, I don't want any, I don't want like my niece to be listening to this episode.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:31

Mommy, what's intimate earth caramel?

VOICEOVER: 00:31:34

Ow!

CHELSEY DONN: 00:31:35

um, so this will be marked with the explicit E.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:31:39

So you make sure to tell the children to leave the room so you can have a little mommy time or daddy time.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:47

or them y time, I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:31:48

Or that we don't.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:50

All of our episodes are marked E for explicit because we do use foul language every now and then, but we mean it for today.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:31:57

We do.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:31:58

That was fun, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:31:59

I think I'm a little red in the face.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:01

I think I got a little excited there.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:03

Oh, good.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:04

I might need to look for some Intimate Earth caramel.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:08

Maybe we should find a review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:09

Oh,

VOICEOVER: 00:32:10

Ow!

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:10

maybe we should find reviews of that.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:12

I think we definitely need to.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:14

can only imagine

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:17

Tune in on Friday to hear more thoughts on

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:22

A hair

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:22

Intimate Earth apparel, intimate apparel, Intimate Earth caramel

VOICEOVER: 00:32:27

Ow!

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:28

and hair clips.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:29

Bye!

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:30

we're going to keep running this joke into

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:31

god, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:33

You

VOICEOVER: 00:32:35

Ow!