155: Celebrity Makeup Artist & School - 1 Star Review

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:00

It's different than anything I've ever seen.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:01

I, it's a conundrum.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:02

I've never seen anything like this.

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:05

No.

VOICEOVER: 00:00:08

Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian, It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore, Someone's gotta settle the score., Trey and Chelsey will help you choose, Whose views win which ones lose, Online haters are coming for you, Baby, it's time to Review That Review!,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:36

Hello,

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:38

and welcome listeners to Review That Review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:41

We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:46

Reviews,

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:48

That's Chelsey Donn.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:49

and that's Trey Gerald.

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:51

But together as an entity, we are,

VOICEOVER: 00:00:54

Review Queens,

TREY GERRALD: 00:00:57

Hey girl!

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:58

Hi, we just got to jump right in, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:02

Let's give you the opportunity to,

VOICEOVER: 00:01:04

Lodge a complaint,

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:06

Okay, I'm gonna go with something that I have, had written down, but I've tried to space it out, because anytime I travel, there's a litany of,

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:15

like, annoyances, so I don't want it to be, like, an entire month of just every complaint being about the airport, but,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:22

I relate.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:23

today I'm gonna lodge a complaint.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:25

You know what?

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:25

I can even zoom out further because it

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:27

happens at grocery stores.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:28

It happens even at gas stations.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:31

I'm talking about when there's an infrastructure that's built, but there's not enough employees to work in those structures.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:37

So I'm talking about why do airports have 9 million TSA lanes, but they only have three open?

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:42

Why do grocery stores have 15 checkout lanes, they only have three open?

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:47

Why do gas stations have broken pumps with a little like plastic bag over the handle?

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:53

I live in New Jersey, why do we have 19 lanes, but only 2 people to pump the gas?

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:59

I'm sure it's the economy, I'm sure it's

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:01

the cost to employ people, but really what is written on my paper, Closed TSA lanes.

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:07

Why?

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:08

Why?

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:09

It is so expensive to fly, and it's so expensive to buy a candy bar at the airport, so

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:15

expensive,

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:16

why do we have these giant, giant x ray TSA lanes that are built?

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:23

They're there.

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:24

But we're cramming all of these people, like, huge zig zag, snake ass lines, through two lanes, when we have football fields, of TSA lanes, that are just not, not, we're not going over there today, there's a little stanchion in the way, so you can't go that way, so you gotta go stand over here with Miss Johnny Rocket, who's acting brand new, like, they've never had to take their belt off, because the metal is gonna go off in the alarm, I can not handle it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:51

It drives me crazy at checkout lanes, too.

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:53

Like, why do you have 19 cash registers, but you've only scheduled four workers today?

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:01

What good is this?

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:02

I don't understand.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:03

Because even now in New York airports, you just scan your little phone and the little, like, glass doors open.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:09

TSA yells at you if you have your driver's license.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:11

We said phone only!

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:13

We said ticket only!

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:15

You don't need

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:16

Take off your shoes, I don't want to have to tell you again,

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:20

I'm so sorry that I have been flying for years, and I don't know, I thought your identity mattered, I thought that because I have three I's at the end of my legal last name because I'm the third, I have the same legal name as my father and my dead grandfather, that my identity mattered, because sometimes they don't put the space between the D of Gerald and the three I's, and my ticket is scheduled for Gerald y.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:43

And they don't let me on the fuckin plane, did you know that?

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:45

So I'm sorry that?

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:46

you're mad at me that I have my driver's license out, Because it's so fucking important to you, Miss Delta Airline, That Gerald, comma, three, eyes, is not the same person as Gerald y, Because your fucking computer system doesn't understand the space, Now I'm in a separate complaint, but I gotta tell you, Then, In order to call the airline to change the ticket, I have to submit my birth certificate to prove that my legal name change, which isn't even a fucking legal name change, it's because your app doesn't understand the comma, and you ask for the surname!

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:21

Wait, not the surname, the suffix.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:22

You ask for the fucking suffix!

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:24

So, why doesn't your system understand the fucking space?

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:28

My legal name has a comma in it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:30

You can't tell me that commas, you can't use that character.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:33

This is, I'm, I'm in a tangent.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:35

I'm sorry.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:37

I got, that just makes me so angry.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:39

My name has a suffix.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:41

I have the same legal name.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:44

Why are you yelling at me to put my driver's license away?

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:47

And there's 19 empty TSA lanes.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:50

I don't know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:50

I'm all over the place.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:51

Oh my god, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:53

That was like a fourfer, at least.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:54

I think that was a four

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:57

Well, I'm the only one.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:58

that gets annoyed at the airport.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:59

No one's ever in a bad mood there.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:02

Joyous

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:03

everyone is their best self at the airport.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:05

Let's be real.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:06

Can Walt Disney Company just re create every airport?

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:10

Can they just do that for us?

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:11

Can we pipe and cotton

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:12

candy, please?

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:14

Can anytime someone sees you they go, have a great day.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:18

Yeah,

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:19

That would be nice.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:20

they'd be like, you look like you're sad.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:22

Here's a sticker.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:23

Do you want to be in the parade later?

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:25

Exactly.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:26

Did we scare you?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:27

we scare you?

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:28

Look, Mickey Mouse has fireworks shooting out of his index finger.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:31

Yeah, you could be Goofy's special friend, you know, like then maybe I hear you there.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:38

Obviously, there's a lot to address in that because there were so many complaints, but they're all equally relatable.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:45

And I will say like where my mind goes, and maybe this is only because one time I did a Civil War science fiction musical called Futurity, but I'm really convinced.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:55

That like maybe the singularity is happening, guys.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:58

We're just gonna turn into machines because nobody wants to do the work.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:03

And so we're gonna have to get machines to do it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:06

You know what?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:07

we're gonna be taken over by robots, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:09

It's how they're coming for us.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:11

People disappoint me.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:12

It's time for robots, okay?

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:14

As long as they

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:15

don't get a Y2K bug, we're fine.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:17

so if there was like a TSA robot that would like, was trained to like, literally beat the crap out of you if you tried to like, do any funny business, there were just machines that could automatically scan your shit to know with 1000 percent certainty that there's nothing of danger in your bag,

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:34

Well, Chelsey, that's already happening.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:35

That's what Clear is.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:36

They literally scan your retina and take your thumbprints.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:40

and then they're like, I know that this person's not a criminal, like they

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:43

do your background check,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:44

like they're like, there's no criminal record, This person is like an upstanding citizen,

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:48

well to be qualified, yeah, and then the x rays are already scanning all of our bags to make sure there's nothing dangerous, It's all dumb, I hate it, can we leave the airport, I'm mad, I don't know why I put us here, I apologize,

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:00

we need, can we shake it off,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:01

yeah, we

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:02

I'm happy to be here with you,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:04

I'm happy to be here with you,

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:05

alright, help me change the energy, I apologize,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:08

no, Trey, okay, do you want me to, do I need to pull out the Palo Santo?, because I will,

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:13

I want your review to change the whole energy, no pressure,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:16

No pressure.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:17

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:17

Well, I will do my best.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:19

Let's jump into that review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:20

I believe in you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:22

I don't want a robot co host, I want Chelsey Donn co

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:25

Woo.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:26

I'm here.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:26

I'm here for you, Trey.

VOICEOVER: 00:07:29

Review That Review,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:33

As you know, we're your trusty review queens.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:36

We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:40

We select a review, we bring it in, we break it down, it's from the internet, and we rate the impact of that review on a scale from 0 to 5 crowns.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:48

It's a really regal process that we call.

VOICEOVER: 00:07:50

Assess That Kvetch,

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:52

That was a little all over the place, but it's fine,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:53

That was a little sloppy, but

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:55

to say different words,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:56

I know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:57

do it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:58

I'm a robot, I'm trained to say

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:59

I am a robot, yes.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:02

So Chelsey, I gotta know, tell me, what Kvatch are we gonna assess today?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:05

So this is a one star review from Yelp for Kimberly Bosso, Celebrity Makeup Artist and Makeup School,

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:17

Hmm.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:18

Los Angeles.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:19

Overall 4.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:21

5, pretty high, 124 reviews.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:25

They have a lot of claims, I'm not gonna get into the whole, like, they really give you a whole rigmarole for their, like, lead up into what they do, but they're like a Beverly Hills celebrity makeup artist and they claim to have worked with With Justin Bieber and Hilary Duff and Zac Efron and like a ton of designers like Ralph Lauren and the list goes on it's like a whole list of A list celebrities from men to women it's it's a very vast claim

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:57

Well, when I think of makeup artistry,

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:01

I think of the gorgeous palettes that are Justin Bieber and Zac Efron.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:05

right.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:07

Don't you?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:07

I know somebody, one of the reviews referenced that she said that she was Ariana Grande's makeup artist at one point.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:15

She's just, there's, she's making a lot of claims and like, I don't know, listen, I don't want to say their claims, maybe their truths, but there's definitely a lot happening here.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:23

I don't know that this review is going to give us any insight, but let's find, yeah, this is a one star review that is written by, in

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:37

SanexSoul, first name in Sanex, last name Soul, okay, One Star Review, critical, and then it says colon professionalism, which I don't know if I've noticed that, like, in other reviews, but I guess that that's the issue here is the professionalism, I'm just bracing myself for this, but here we go,

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:00

Is there going to be a lot of caps?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:02

there's not a lot of caps.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:03

Oops, there's something else that I don't think we've ever come across, um, that's gonna be a little bit of a challenge, but here we go, we're gonna do it, it's gonna be okay, here we

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:11

got it, insane.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:12

got it, Insanex,

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:14

X.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:16

took my great, great, great, great, great, great, Great!

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:22

Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great!

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Great great great great great great great great

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:51

god.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:52

great great great great

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:02

god.

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:06

Are you counting girl?

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:08

Chelsey's Beat Rad!

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:12

No

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:18

there's like three more rows

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:21

Oh my god

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:22

greats, okay, I don't know how many more I could do, but just know there's five, ten rows of greats, okay,

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:36

Okay

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:38

I told you this was a lot, all right,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:48

Great, great, great,

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:51

Oh my god

CHELSEY DONN: 00:11:55

great,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:12:02

grandma,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:12:08

Grandma

CHELSEY DONN: 00:12:12

there, and upon, Sorry, Upon arriving, I was greeted by Kimberly herself,

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:27

What's happening?

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:27

What

CHELSEY DONN: 00:12:32

I'm gonna piss myself,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:12:38

okay, this is why I went to the bathroom right before we started, okay, upon arriving,

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:45

is happening?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:12:48

I'm sorry, I was greeted by Kimberly herself,

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:53

She was great!

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:55

I

CHELSEY DONN: 00:13:00

I can do this, I can do it,

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:04

believe in you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:05

What?

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:05

What?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:13:06

we're gonna have to cut a lot of this, Patreon,

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:08

What?

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:09

Why is everyone throwing up?

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:13

Who threw up?

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:16

Kimberly or the grandma?

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:19

Left.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:19

What?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:13:21

In front of me, and was so disgusted, we both left, never had this happen to me, and never again.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:13:36

So then, she called the cops on me,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:13:43

and was like, I't bet, I't bet, and then, And proceeded to vomit all over the officer, which was very traumatizing for me, which is why I am in the process of suing her.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:14

I don't know, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:16

I, I, it just doesn't make any sense.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:20

It just said I was arrived.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:21

Okay, now that I'm like better.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:25

I was greeted by Kimberly herself and vomited in front of me.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:29

So, and she vomited in front of me and was so disgusted.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:35

We both left.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:37

Never had this happen to me and never again.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:39

So she called the cops on me.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:41

What does it mean, Trey?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:43

What does it mean?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:44

Do you want me to send it to you?

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:46

Yeah, I want to see all

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:47

Oh my God.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:49

That was a lot for me to get through.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:50

I hope that was okay to listen to.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:52

I'm sorry.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:52

I was really having a hard time there, but I've never read a review quite like this.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:56

Wait, so, I'm understanding the username a little bit more.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:01

Well, I'm a little bit at a loss.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:06

Okay, let's see.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:09

You want to pull out the old rubric?

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:10

Let's see here.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:12

Oh my god, it's

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:13

so many greats.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:14

I know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:16

Why does it have eight thumbs up?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:18

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:19

It's just, it's like so weird.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:21

I don't even like, you think that Kimberly was just sick and she was like projectile vomiting and these people were harassing her?

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:29

it's insane, the number of greats.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:31

I mean, it was insane hearing it, but also when you look at it, it's insane.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:34

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:34

Look at, so then she called the cops on me and was, what do you think that was supposed to say?

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:39

And was like, alright, bitch.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:40

Was,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:41

what I thought it was supposed to be.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:43

It was like, all right, bitch, and proceeded to vomit.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:45

But like, an ite bet?

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:48

Well, I can see that InsaneX has two reviews.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:52

There's one other review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:53

I don't know what to make of this.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:55

Let's actually try to go, well, first of all, the first question I wrote down, So, since this is the gre gre gre grandma

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:02

Unless, like, you're on one of those old, like, ASMR type keyboards, and its like, it got stuck,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:08

it got like stuck?

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:10

gre But, I don't know how, five letters, it gets, whatever, um, How old do you think the grandmother is?

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:15

If she's that many great grandmas?

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:17

Dead.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:19

centuries old.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:21

I mean,

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:22

She was on the Titanic.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:24

She

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:24

right, like, she, no, she was like Eve, I don't know,

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:29

Wait, maybe, maybe she's dead, and that's why Kimberly vomited, because she's not used to being a mortician makeup

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:35

She's not used to seeing dead people come into her, her vicinity.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:40

likes the blush.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:41

She doesn't like dead, pale skin.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:43

Can we try to go through the roster?

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:44

I think it'll

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:45

Oh my God.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:46

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:46

We'll try.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:47

Are there any value, new, or unique information?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:52

The situation is so absurd.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:55

Maybe Kimberly should you know how like makeup artists have those like makeup aprons Maybe they could have some of those paper throw up bags that you see in the airplanes

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:03

In case Kimberly needs to puke.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:05

case they're vomiting a lot You know the relationship between a makeup artist is very interesting because it's very intimate.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:11

It's very close So

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:12

even if like your makeup artist had thrown up and you didn't see it, but You could smell it like the best makeup artists always have a can of Altoids for themselves and for you because

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:21

if they're like working around your mouth and like they're like getting precision detail like

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:26

Their breath is going to be on

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:27

that's a yeah

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:29

this, this, like the way that they're making it sound like, first of all, I feel like we have to kind of immediately go to truthful shady.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:35

Spelling grammar is like messy, obviously.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:39

Truthful Shady, like, what is this doing on this page?

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:44

yeah how has it I mean, I don't know the process of getting reviews removed, but like,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:48

This feels like it should be in the, like, not recommended.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:51

Like, if you were Kimberly, and this was on your page, would you just ignore it?

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:57

Or would you reply to it with a question mark?

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:59

Right.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:01

reply to it in, like, a weird, funny way, if it's just so ridiculous and it's not true, just to address it, or are you like, I have a 4.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:10

5, I have to have, like, a negative review.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:12

No one's gonna believe a page that has You know, all five star reviews.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:18

If you're gonna have a one star review, something where the name of the person is InsaneXSoul and they write something that's so incoherent, it's like immediately gonna be dismissed by any person that's reading the reviews if it's surrounded by other positive reviews.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:35

Like, You're clearly going to look at this and be like, what are they even talking about?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:39

They're talking about her vomiting and like, not even like her makeup skills on her page.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:43

And then they, she called the cops.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:45

Well, maybe she called the cops because you sound a little crazy.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:48

Like, you know what I mean?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:50

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:51

Maybe it's an inside job.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:52

I just feel like it's like a good one star review to have

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:56

Oh, I think so too.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:57

It's not a ding at all.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:59

No, it only makes Insane X seem crazy,

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:01

not Kimberly.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:03

Like Kimberly, I think comes out smelling like daisies after this.

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:07

Your point earlier, like I've actually never seen this either, is like, under the one star,

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:13

before the review, it says critical in bold, and they wrote professionalism, which seems like if I got vomited on, that doesn't seem professional.

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:22

So, none of this is making any sense.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:25

It's not making sense.

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:26

I mean, the spelling grammar crazy we said, I don't know about the value, maybe bring Altoids, Truthful shady, it doesn't seem like there's any truth here, it

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:35

I mean, I think it's shady.

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:37

But how?

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:38

It's like, it's, it's illiterate.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:40

you're right.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:42

I mean, I guess it's just shady because it's, it's weird.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:45

It's just like such a weird thing to be like, you puked and it was gross, you know?

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:51

think they're actually in the process of filing a legal action?

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:55

I don't.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:56

I mean, what would the legal action be?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:58

Like, they wrongfully called the cops on me?

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:01

Can you even do that?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:02

I have no idea.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:04

I don't know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:05

Um, I laughed, I laughed watching you struggle.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:09

I think it is a first in the three years of watching, and you can't see this when you're listening obviously, but Chelsey preparing and then getting caught in the laughter, so there were so many, there were like multiple like, almost startings, and then like, getting caught up laughing and having to like, turn her

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:25

Oh my god, I'm so

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:27

many like, inhales, which is like, so fun.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:30

I was laughing, I was entertained.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:32

Do you think this would keep you from using Kimberly?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:34

This review alone, no.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:36

I don't, yeah, I think that this is like a typical example of, not to generalize, but like, the somewhat insane people on the internet that are just like, let me spend my Saturday this way.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:49

Writing this review,

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:51

there is like this little smidgen of like, ugh, uh, just thinking about Kim like now I'm gonna associate Kimberly with vomit, which is so random and

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:58

but but that's what that's why I feel like it's kind of shady because it's like you are like It's not a positive thing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:04

You're saying about Kimberly like you're shading her You're saying she's a puking like puke face like you're branding her in a certain way that even though I think that you're crazy, it's still like not exactly a flattering Vantage point,

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:20

right,

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:21

yeah, no, you're, I mean, that's correct, I think I could crown

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:24

All right, let's

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:25

how do you feel?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:26

I think I can crown them.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:27

So, Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards, in an effort to be fair and not influence each other, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

VOICEOVER: 00:21:36

The Queens are tabulating, Total Score,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:44

All right, interesting.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:45

So I'm holding up a half of a crown.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:48

Trey's holding up zero crowns.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:50

Trey, you go first.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:51

Why zero crowns for InsaneXSoul?

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:57

Have I ever done zero before?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:59

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:59

I've done zero.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:22:01

I don't know if

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:01

Well, I'm just saying zero because what is the point of customer reviews?

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:07

Walking away with something, I would say is the point.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:10

I don't walk away with anything from this.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:12

I do think there's maybe a conspiracy, like, I like that angle.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:15

Maybe Kimberly's press team was like, we need some negatives, So we'll just do something crazy.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:22

Can't back that up, so I don't know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:23

I don't even understand the point, like, I don't even get what Insane X was.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:29

If it was a hit piece, it's incoherent.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:31

So, also, like, How did you say great that many times?

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:36

Also, it's about makeup.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:38

Like, there's no, nothing about the grandmother's

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:41

makeup job.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:41

Also, in the critical bold, you're saying professional, but the police were, I have no, I can't follow the narrative.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:48

I don't get it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:48

So I'm, I enjoyed watching you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:51

um, struggle through to try to evoke

CHELSEY DONN: 00:22:55

I just, I try to stretch myself.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:22:58

It's been three years.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:22:59

So

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:00

But, but I would say this is going to close off Broadway because I don't think the writers gave you enough material.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:06

With their skilled actor, there's

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:08

nothing there, you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:09

know, so you shouldn't be blamed for that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:11

I think they should be blamed.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:13

So,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:13

you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:14

I'm going to say zero crowns.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:15

Why did you do a half crown?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:17

I did the half crown, like, honestly, like, not for Insane X at all.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:22

Purely for the review as it stands that, like, it pulled me.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:26

Like, I was like, this is so weird that with three years of searching for reviews on the internet, I've never quite seen anything like this.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:35

And I feel like our job as Review Queens, as It's excruciating as that was for me to narrate and I hope it wasn't excruciating for you to listen to, but it's different than anything I've ever seen.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:46

It's a conundrum.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:47

I've never seen anything like this.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:51

So for that reason, half crown, just for like a uniqueness nod and the nine people that liked it and, and I guess just like took it on the sleeve as humor, sure, half crown, but obviously like nothing to do, leaving with.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:10

Like, it's like that Billy Madison thing, like, and I am now dumber for having listened to it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:15

That's what

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:16

Yeah, I feel that.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:16

equivalent of, so I couldn't give more than a half crown, but thank you for indulging me, Trey, and um, I hope you feel better about the whole airport thing

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:26

I do.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:26

I forgot already.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:27

Thank

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:28

Oh, good.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:28

There you go.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:29

So mission accomplished then.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:31

Great job, Chelsey, and really great

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:34

job in Saint Exupéry.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:36

Thank you for that unique spin.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:38

All right, my queen.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:39

So we have reached the most regal portion of our show.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:43

Who are you inducting for?

VOICEOVER: 00:24:46

My Royal Highness,

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:48

So this is interesting, but speaking of makeup.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:50

Okay, I've for a long time.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:52

I have been a fan of the film showgirls

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:57

and somehow over the past week.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:59

Oh, it's because I found a YouTube video where the director Paul Verhoeven and Gina Gershon.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:06

Let a Q& A before screening the film in New York like several months ago And so I watched it because famously Elizabeth Berkley and Gina Gershon will not publicly speak about the film It's like in the writer that when they're being

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:20

interviewed like they'll answer a softball question one and then like we just don't go there

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:25

So, I wanna just take a moment, and I want to induct Elizabeth Berkley, who played the lead, Nomi Malone.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:33

Now, if you are listening to this and you have never seen Showgirls, I would implore you to take a breath and watch it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:40

The brief recap is, it's like a Faustian bargain.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:45

A girl, what is she willing to give up to be a star?

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:48

That's like the basic plot.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:50

It was critically panned.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:52

It was rated NC 17 because it's like the most nudity you've ever seen.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:57

And,

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:58

um, Over the course of time, has become a cult classic, right?

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:03

Especially very popular in the LGBTQ plus community.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:06

So, in 2015, they screened the film in the cemetery in Los Angeles.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:11

Oh yeah, the um, Hollywood Forever, Sin Sinespia, Hollywood Forever.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:18

Yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:18

So, and it sold out, it was more than 4, 000 people, and in 2015, it was, ironically, the day that marriage equality passed, federally, in the United States of America, ironically, and Elizabeth Berkley introduced the film,

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:32

and you can go on YouTube, and you can watch it, it was the first time, so that was 20 years later, came out in

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:38

95, and in 2015, and what was interesting about that speech that she gives, when you look back at the film, Elizabeth Berkley was 21 years old, she was off of, like, a 10

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:49

seasons of a children's TV show

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:52

and the thing is is that she was very criticized for the performance because it's incredibly earnest and uncomfortably committed and it's so heightened the entire film is but what ended up happening is Paul Verhoeven continued to be an acclaimed director and the person that got blamed and blacklisted and dropped by her acting agents Was Elizabeth Berkley.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:15

She was the one that was punished for the film, which literally makes no fucking sense to me.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:20

And in 2015, you know, she, I would implore you to watch the speech.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:24

She talks about how she took a risk, and risks were not rewarded then, especially a woman.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:31

Mmm.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:31

So, months ago in March, the Academy, aka the Oscars Museum, Did a screening of Showgirls

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:39

in 2024 under the banner of publicity and the power of publicity and filmmaking and they chose Showgirls.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:48

So Elizabeth Berkley, this is like a couple of months ago, gave a speech.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:53

So she returned to intro the film and she does a little bit of a Q& A and it's even more interesting because she gets very emotional and she acknowledges like the journey she had to go on to be publicly humiliated and.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:06

shamed for following direction and being overly committed to stakes which is like your job as an actor you like do the job you're told and how even Gina Grishan is celebrated in the movie but she was reviled by the world and it ruined her career she talks about going back to acting class after starring in this

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:28

like giant film Anyway, I would implore you to watch it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:32

It is like you can have, you can draw your own conclusions about if it's a good film or not, whatever, but I, I just want to induct Elizabeth Berkley because it's a fascinating story and she has, she says in that recent speech, the journey of time is a wonderful thing and stay heartened to what can happen in life.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:52

Over time and nothing is always the same.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:55

And I found that to be a really beautiful sort of message as an actor, as an artist, as a human, like the circumstances of your life can always go on to change.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:03

And I was very inspired by that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:05

So I would implore you make your own opinions about showgirls.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:07

It is a camp classic and whatever, but I think it's very interesting.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:12

And it's sort of the whole story within the story of showgirls is like men.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:17

Manipulating women and blaming the women for going outside of what society deems is a woman's right, and Nomi's wants in her life and Elizabeth Berkley's wants in her life, but then the men behind it who told her what to do, are celebrated but she's kicked out is insane so I want to induct Elizabeth Berkley I hope that we continue to be on this path where she gets a redemption because it's so unfair and I love Doggie Chow and I love you Elizabeth Berkley I'm from different places as well and it is strange to not have someone come on you so you For all of those reasons, I induct you, Elizabeth Berkley, in the tenacity of your human spirit.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:02

That's why you are my Royal Highness.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:06

That was quite an offering.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:08

Elizabeth, if you're listening to this, please come on the show.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:11

We would love to talk to you.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:12

As the Review Queens, we love nothing more than being able to shut down the haters and I think you're somebody who obviously has learned that lesson the hard way and Bye.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:22

Bye.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:22

And chooses to live their life in a way of passing on this message that it's not as horrible as it might seem and we can survive these haters and Trey and I obviously really relate to that.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:33

So, Elizabeth Berkley, we would love to have you on the show.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:36

Have your people call our people or call us at 1 850 REVIEW ZERO.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:40

We

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:41

Well, we did

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:41

it, Queen.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:42

That is

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:42

another round on the R U A R Q Ferris Wheel of Great.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:47

Thank you for joining us today.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:49

We hope you had a great time here with us.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:51

And please, if you did have a great time, tell a friend.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:55

If you did not like what you heard, great, tell an enemy.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:59

On this week's After Show Pod, Chelsey, you and I are going to rate and review a one star Yelp review for the Holiday Inn.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:31:07

Mmm, Hotel Motel, I wonder why this was said, If you're like a shady bitch, just be a shady bitch,

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:19

Hmm, me too.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:21

Great Scott, I wonder that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:23

Great question.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:26

Please remember,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:31:27

ignore the haters, you're great, you're a queen, you're descendants of great, great, great, great, great, great queens.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:35

great to the third degree.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:37

Gender not specific, Queen, of course.

TREY GERRALD: 00:31:39

Bye.

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VOICEOVER: 00:32:01

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VOICEOVER: 00:32:03

Give us a call now.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:06

You've seen Showgirls, yes.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:08

I haven't.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:09

In fact, we talked about this.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:11

We said we were going to do a Patreon joined viewing of it, which I really think we should do.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:16

I really cannot believe you've never seen You've seen, like, moments

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:19

Clips of from it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:20

Yes.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:21

But I, I do want to see it as I, I don't know why I always forget to see it, but I definitely want to see it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:27

It's also a long, it's like, not a shorty.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:30

But it's just feels like something like a rite of passage, you know, like I have to see it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:35

It is exceedingly graphic.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:38

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:39

I'll

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:39

Like, you actually see Vulva.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:41

Like, you actually see

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:43

Like, it is exceedingly graphic.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:45

Yes.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:46

You see Anus.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:48

like.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:48

you see At all.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:51

I'll prepare myself accordingly.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:55

Oh, yeah, we have to watch a

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:56

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:56

All right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:57

We Love you guys.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:57

See you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:32:57

Friday.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:32:58

Bye.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:00

Great.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:33:00

Great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:01

Let's just say it a bunch of times over and over and over and it'll just end.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:04

You

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:05

ready?

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:05

Great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:05

great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:06

Great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:06

Great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:06

Great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:06

Great, great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:07

Great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:07

great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:33:09

great, great.