UA-198543153-1 72 - Starbucks: 1 vs. 5 Stars - Review That Review with Chelsey and Trey

Episode 72

Episode 72: Starbucks 1 vs. 5 Stars

The Queens go head-to-head in another 1 Star VERSES 5 Star Episode! This week they rate and review conflicting reviews for the Original STARBUCKS in Seattle! The Queens taste test with lots of ::Trigger Warning:: mouth sounds. Chelsey's iPhone is gettin quirky, Trey auto-completes but is left empty, and the Queens get caffeinated! Support Queer Wave Coffee.

(02:47) MAIL CALL!

(12:21) Lodge a Complaint!

(20:10) The Original Starbucks

(21:47) 1 Star Review

(38:25) Exclusive Offer

(39:27) GAME TIME: Joe or NO!

(45:26) 5 Star Review

(57:43) My Royal Highness

(01:01:38) DONATE!

(01:02:04) On Today's ONE YEAR After Show Pod


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@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald 


---

Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


Transcript
VOICEOVER:

Everybody's got an opinion.

VOICEOVER:

Every, Californian, and Virginian and Virginian.

VOICEOVER:

So hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

VOICEOVER:

Someone's gotta settle The score., Trey and Chelsey will help you.

VOICEOVER:

Which ones?

VOICEOVER:

Ooh I haters.

VOICEOVER:

Baby,, it's time to Review.

VOICEOVER:

That, Review!.

Chelsey Donn:

Hello,

Trey Gerrald:

Well, hello and welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing

Chelsey Donn:

reviews were just like Cisco Neibert only.

Chelsey Donn:

Instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing,

Trey Gerrald:

that is Chelsey Donn.

Chelsey Donn:

and that is Trey Gerrald.

Trey Gerrald:

And together we are.

VOICEOVER:

The review Queens.

Chelsey Donn:

Cheerio

Trey Gerrald:

to all of our members over on Patreon.

Trey Gerrald:

They have exclusive access to tons of bonuses, including our companion After show

Chelsey Donn:

Yay.

Trey Gerrald:

about that.

Trey Gerrald:

If you're not a Patreon member, you are missing one year's worth of

Trey Gerrald:

So if you haven't checked it out, go to our homepage, Review That Review dot com.

Trey Gerrald:

Click on the word Patreon, or if you would like to support our show in a different way, you can

Trey Gerrald:

Well, hello Chelsey Goose.

Trey Gerrald:

How are ya?

Chelsey Donn:

I'm good.

Chelsey Donn:

If you're watching this and not listening, you'll see that I, I have these lights

Chelsey Donn:

I stared right into the light,

Trey Gerrald:

Oh,

Chelsey Donn:

bad I.

Trey Gerrald:

I know it well.

Chelsey Donn:

And I didn't, I couldn't even see anything until a second ago,

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, these are, what are they?

Trey Gerrald:

Like 60 wat?

Trey Gerrald:

L e d lights.

Trey Gerrald:

So

Chelsey Donn:

very, very bright.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

They're exceedingly bright in your eyeballs.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know how good that is.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, I don't think it's as bad as like looking into a solar eclipse,

Trey Gerrald:

can't be good for, oh my god, Solar eclipses.

Trey Gerrald:

Remember those glasses they make like out of cardboard or whatever?

Chelsey Donn:

I, Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't even know what peop people were like making them from home

Chelsey Donn:

I gotta be honest, I didn't really look.

Chelsey Donn:

Did you

Trey Gerrald:

No, I didn't look.

Trey Gerrald:

No.

Trey Gerrald:

Me.

Chelsey Donn:

do you remember when that was?

Chelsey Donn:

Like the hot topic, Like that was what we were talking about.

Chelsey Donn:

That was all pre covid and we didn't even know

Trey Gerrald:

Oh my God.

Trey Gerrald:

We had no idea what was to come.

Trey Gerrald:

ChelseyBD, did you get any interesting things on your doorstep?

Trey Gerrald:

This.

Chelsey Donn:

I did.

Chelsey Donn:

I got a package, a mysterious package in the mail.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh,

Chelsey Donn:

I think it said like from my fabulous gay cohost, and I

Chelsey Donn:

It's, it's quite heavy.

Chelsey Donn:

I have no idea what it is.

Chelsey Donn:

It's in a bag.

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Trey Gerrald:

I paid for like the 3 99 gift wrapping.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

What is it?

Trey Gerrald:

So I sent Chelsey a gift from Amazon.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

What does it say?

Chelsey Donn:

says, Do not open till podcasting with the most adorable, gorgeous, stunning,

Chelsey Donn:

I like that.

Chelsey Donn:

That you said from Trey Gerrald as well.

Trey Gerrald:

Wait, I think that was like auto, like I didn't type from Trey.

Trey Gerrald:

Gerrald.

Trey Gerrald:

I think that was like from Trey.

Trey Gerrald:

Gerrald.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, Chelsey, so you said it's heavy.

Trey Gerrald:

Do you have any guesses what could be in there?

Chelsey Donn:

It feels like.

Trey Gerrald:

It's not breakable.

Trey Gerrald:

If you wanna give it a shake,

Chelsey Donn:

okay.

Chelsey Donn:

It feels like a bag of beans.

Chelsey Donn:

Kind of like, like

Trey Gerrald:

bag of beans.

Chelsey Donn:

That's what it feels like.

Chelsey Donn:

It feels like, you know when you go to the, the farmer's market and they have

Chelsey Donn:

If you're like, I Donn know, Trey's not gonna know any of this cuz he doesn't cook at all.

Chelsey Donn:

But instead of buying beans and a can, you can buy like raw beans that you soak yourself

Chelsey Donn:

It's quite heavy.

Chelsey Donn:

A lot of little tiny beads like beads or beans.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know.

Chelsey Donn:

That's my guess.

Chelsey Donn:

It's heavy

Trey Gerrald:

All right, well, why don't you open at.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my goodness.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

This is so exciting.

Chelsey Donn:

Am I right?

Chelsey Donn:

Is it beans?

Chelsey Donn:

Why would you send me beans?

Chelsey Donn:

Ooh.

Chelsey Donn:

It's wrapped inside.

Chelsey Donn:

It has this special.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh it, wait a minute.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my goodness.

Chelsey Donn:

It's a lot of candy.

Chelsey Donn:

It's beans.

Chelsey Donn:

It's jelly beans.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my

Trey Gerrald:

I was like, Okay, wait, so hold on before you go into detail.

Trey Gerrald:

I have it for myself as well.

Trey Gerrald:

So this is a variety, bro, jelly bean pack.

Trey Gerrald:

But today, can you guess which one we're gonna discuss?

Trey Gerrald:

There's four flavors.

Trey Gerrald:

Don't list them all cuz we're gonna do this on upcoming episodes, but there is

Chelsey Donn:

Well, the first one that I'm seeing, which I imagine is the one that

Chelsey Donn:

Stop.

Chelsey Donn:

I can't,

Trey Gerrald:

So this is the Duncan.

Trey Gerrald:

It actually doesn't even say Donn.

Trey Gerrald:

It just says Duncan Ice coffee flavor, jelly beans.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Trey Gerrald:

So this has five different flavors.

Trey Gerrald:

Of iced coffee.

Trey Gerrald:

So the first is toasted coconut butter, pecan caramel latte hazelnut and french vanilla.

Chelsey Donn:

Who knew that this existed?

Chelsey Donn:

How did you even find this?

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I feel like a couple of episodes ago we started talking about

Trey Gerrald:

Didn't we have a conversation about this?

Chelsey Donn:

Well, I think we were talking about how like sweet, all the drinks were maybe like

Trey Gerrald:

yes.

Trey Gerrald:

And then I was listening to my favorite murder and they bought each other bro's, like

Trey Gerrald:

I have to do this with ChelseyBD.

Trey Gerrald:

So.

Chelsey Donn:

a live review.

Trey Gerrald:

So let's pop open and let's see, like do you see on the

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

So are we gonna try, should we try the same one at the same time?

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

just gonna dump a little out on my, my desk.

Trey Gerrald:

Which one did you pull?

Trey Gerrald:

I pulled an orange.

Chelsey Donn:

I have an orange.

Chelsey Donn:

Should we try that one?

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah,

Chelsey Donn:

is the caramel latte.

Chelsey Donn:

That sounds kind of weird for a jelly baba, let's say.

Chelsey Donn:

Smells sweet.

Chelsey Donn:

Mm.

Chelsey Donn:

It's really giving me harm.

Chelsey Donn:

Latte vibes.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

I really taste the caramel.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh wow.

Chelsey Donn:

That's strong.

Chelsey Donn:

It kind of reminds me of like, not like the worders candy, but it has like that like Right.

Trey Gerrald:

the caramel.

Trey Gerrald:

But there's also like, I feel like the after taste is a little coffee.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

It ends, It's like one of those worders with like, I'm sure they make a worders with coffee.

Trey Gerrald:

I thought it would be gross,

Chelsey Donn:

I did too, but it wasn't bad.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like not something I'd want to eat a lot of in terms of like hitting

Chelsey Donn:

I think it's like a four outta five.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, I think so too.

Chelsey Donn:

Do you have a French vanilla handy?

Trey Gerrald:

French vanilla is like

Chelsey Donn:

one.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, let's do

Chelsey Donn:

I don't smell anything.

Chelsey Donn:

Doesn't have a very strong taste.

Trey Gerrald:

No,

Chelsey Donn:

tell if it's the caramel one was just like a punch in the

Trey Gerrald:

It kind of just feels like jelly.

Trey Gerrald:

Bam.

Chelsey Donn:

Jelly

Trey Gerrald:

But it's not gross.

Trey Gerrald:

I thought it, I thought this would all be nasty.

Chelsey Donn:

it just, it was like very sweet.

Chelsey Donn:

I just tasted sweetness.

Chelsey Donn:

I didn't taste vanilla.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

If I tasted any vanilla was at the back end.

Trey Gerrald:

Like I'm gonna give, I'm gonna give it like one out of five.

Chelsey Donn:

I think one,

Trey Gerrald:

Let's do the um,

Chelsey Donn:

Is this hazelnut?

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, it's at the light brown peach kind of.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's try Hazel it.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh,

Chelsey Donn:

that's a lot of flavor.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't like that as a jelly beam.

Trey Gerrald:

this one I think is so disgusting.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, gross.

Chelsey Donn:

Zero.

Trey Gerrald:

for them to get gross.

Trey Gerrald:

This is.

Trey Gerrald:

I probably would pick these out of the bag and not eat these.

Chelsey Donn:

Um, hazelnut as a jelly beam is not a good

Trey Gerrald:

The caramel latte is much better.

Trey Gerrald:

Taste.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm This is a zero.

Trey Gerrald:

Uhuh.

Trey Gerrald:

He isn't a zero.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Zero out of five for

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Yuck.

Trey Gerrald:

Disgusting.

Chelsey Donn:

gross experience.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I was worried that they were all gonna be like the hazelnut cuz it just

Chelsey Donn:

Be

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

We have two left.

Trey Gerrald:

We have toasted coconut and butter Pecan.

Chelsey Donn:

I feel like toast to coconut's gonna be better in my mind.

Chelsey Donn:

I think butter can, Let's get that out of the way.

Trey Gerrald:

Butter pecan.

Trey Gerrald:

Here we go.

Chelsey Donn:

Ew.

Trey Gerrald:

That's.

Trey Gerrald:

Really sweet.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, it's like, ew.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, it's the butter at the end.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't taste any pecan.

Chelsey Donn:

Ew.

Chelsey Donn:

It's all butter.

Chelsey Donn:

Ugh.

Trey Gerrald:

It is.

Chelsey Donn:

Butter and sugar.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm not into this one.

Trey Gerrald:

It isn't as offensive as hands and it was to me, but I think this is a one out of.

Chelsey Donn:

I think that's still a zero out of five for me.

Chelsey Donn:

That was bad so far.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm liking the, which one?

Chelsey Donn:

The caramel, I guess was the least offensive so far.

Trey Gerrald:

yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

The final, the final jelly bean

Trey Gerrald:

Toasted coconut

Chelsey Donn:

I need another pallet cleanser or toasted coconut.

Chelsey Donn:

I have high hopes for you.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm getting nothing.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

At the end.

Trey Gerrald:

I mean,

Chelsey Donn:

It's not offensive.

Trey Gerrald:

but it's also not pleasurable.

Chelsey Donn:

It's all pleasurable.

Chelsey Donn:

I taste a little bit more coffee in that one.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't like it.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't like it.

Chelsey Donn:

I'll give it a one cuz it it,

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, I would give it a one.

Chelsey Donn:

cause it's not like a huge turnoff.

Trey Gerrald:

That's so weird.

Chelsey Donn:

I almost wanna go back in for a caramel and see if I

Trey Gerrald:

I know.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm

Chelsey Donn:

we give that one?

Chelsey Donn:

We, we gave that,

Trey Gerrald:

caramel.

Trey Gerrald:

We gave it a five, right?

Chelsey Donn:

No, no.

Chelsey Donn:

A three.

Chelsey Donn:

I think

Trey Gerrald:

I didn't even remember.

Trey Gerrald:

It's still good.

Chelsey Donn:

it's better.

Trey Gerrald:

I think it's because it's like more traditional flavor for a jelly beam.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Like it tastes like, I don't really like them, but it kind of tastes like

Chelsey Donn:

The candy corn.

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Trey Gerrald:

I love candy corn.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

It's given me like candy, corn vibes.

Trey Gerrald:

It's interesting.

Trey Gerrald:

So like the nutritional facts, it's 20 jelly beans are 110 calories.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Trey Gerrald:

just like so bad.

Trey Gerrald:

Uh,

Chelsey Donn:

just, I'm not even worried about the calories.

Chelsey Donn:

It's the sugar.

Chelsey Donn:

How much sugar isn't at

Trey Gerrald:

um, 21 grams.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like over a gram of sugar per jelly.

Chelsey Donn:

Ew.

Trey Gerrald:

So 42%

Chelsey Donn:

No, that's 42% of your daily value.

Chelsey Donn:

and even the daily value is like that's higher than it.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

This is, listen, it's jelly beans.

Chelsey Donn:

We know that it's sugar.

Chelsey Donn:

That was fun.

Trey Gerrald:

That was fun.

Trey Gerrald:

I thought it would be more traumatizing.

Trey Gerrald:

Honestly.

Trey Gerrald:

I thought they would all be horrible and disgusting.

Chelsey Donn:

They weren't all horrible and disgusting.

Chelsey Donn:

It's a lot of sugar.

Chelsey Donn:

I wonder who I'm gonna gift these to.

Chelsey Donn:

I

Trey Gerrald:

Did you like as a Jewish person, did you ever have like jelly beans?

Trey Gerrald:

I just think of them so much

Chelsey Donn:

I Donn.

Chelsey Donn:

I know that they are sort of an Easter candy, but like for sure the only jelly

Chelsey Donn:

I'm a big fan of the sour,

Trey Gerrald:

I like sour candy.

Trey Gerrald:

I definitely like sour candy.

Trey Gerrald:

Wait, so, okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So do you have anything that you wanna complain about Chelsey?

Trey Gerrald:

Should we go into a

VOICEOVER:

Lodge Complaint.

Trey Gerrald:

moment?

Chelsey Donn:

Other than the flavor of that, whatever that was that I just consumed.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you for the present, my beautiful cohost.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, we have three more bags so we can continue to

Chelsey Donn:

We'll continue this tradition.

Chelsey Donn:

As the weeks go on, my Complaint at this very moment is with Apple and the iPhones, and the

Chelsey Donn:

Why is this?

Chelsey Donn:

It's really not.

Chelsey Donn:

Right?

Chelsey Donn:

This is such like expensive device, and I, I do pay the, like, monthly because I think

Chelsey Donn:

I might as well just like lease it and then roll over into a new lease, which I do,

Trey Gerrald:

year they have a new update.

Chelsey Donn:

right?

Chelsey Donn:

So like as expensive a device as this is, this should last many, many,

Chelsey Donn:

I think it's an 11.

Chelsey Donn:

Do you

Trey Gerrald:

I, Me too.

Trey Gerrald:

An 11 promax.

Chelsey Donn:

I have an 11 promax and I like am pretty religious about the updates and that's it.

Chelsey Donn:

The phone is like deceased.

Chelsey Donn:

It just starts being like super glitchy.

Chelsey Donn:

Lots of problems with the camera, like turning on and off.

Chelsey Donn:

App's not loading properly, like just my phone just doesn't wanna work right now.

Chelsey Donn:

I think I'll just be frozen for a long time.

Chelsey Donn:

Like, why?

Chelsey Donn:

Why does this happen every like three years?

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

You would think they would be more diligent about this not occurring

Trey Gerrald:

Because Apple did get in trouble for like

Chelsey Donn:

like make them combust.

Trey Gerrald:

they did.

Trey Gerrald:

I think when they acknowledged it, they were saying that they would no longer do it.

Chelsey Donn:

Mm, Bullshit.

Trey Gerrald:

you, But ironically, I did just get the 14.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm getting it tomorrow.

Chelsey Donn:

Did you order it online?

Chelsey Donn:

Cuz I don't even know how I'm gonna go about doing this.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I'm

Trey Gerrald:

You're keep going.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm Verizon.

Chelsey Donn:

What was that?

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, that was the question.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, cuz I ordered online through at and t and they have a $1,000 rebate, so

Chelsey Donn:

what

Trey Gerrald:

because I'm going from an 11.

Trey Gerrald:

So look on Verizon.

Chelsey Donn:

To see if I have a rebate.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Lodging a Complaint apple.

Chelsey Donn:

Do better.

Chelsey Donn:

Like have your updates be applicable to like the last, however many phones.

Chelsey Donn:

Don't make it like make my phone not work.

Trey Gerrald:

Well I would also offer here that we both have iPhones

Trey Gerrald:

So if we're just now starting to notice

Chelsey Donn:

that's the problem is like, I think I got the 11 shortly before the 12 came out.

Chelsey Donn:

You know what I mean?

Chelsey Donn:

Like I was on the

Trey Gerrald:

I did too.

Trey Gerrald:

Me too.

Chelsey Donn:

is even more annoying cuz you're like, well then it's not that old.

Chelsey Donn:

Like it's basically a 12.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like an 11th.

Chelsey Donn:

11th hour 11.

Trey Gerrald:

Mm-hmm.

Chelsey Donn:

You know?

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I've been doing lots of research on this new iPhone 14.

Trey Gerrald:

If you are an Android person, call in and let us know your thoughts.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, I'm sure you have lot.

Chelsey Donn:

I have a few friends that are very, very passionate about not going to iPhone.

Chelsey Donn:

So here's your moment to feel validated.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

That's my Complaint.

Chelsey Donn:

What about you, Trey?

Chelsey Donn:

Do you have a Complaint?

Trey Gerrald:

I have a Complaint, This is not specific to Netflix, it's specific

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but let's say for example, I'm wanting to watch the

Chelsey Donn:

for example.

Trey Gerrald:

for example.

Trey Gerrald:

So if I'm like, I don't know what service has it,

Chelsey Donn:

Mm-hmm.

Trey Gerrald:

open on Netflix, so let me start typing in on the Netflix search show

Trey Gerrald:

Like other people have searched it, like I can just go to the right and

Chelsey Donn:

Donn.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh

Trey Gerrald:

This also happens on Amazon Prime.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's say I'm typing in the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime, which is a

Trey Gerrald:

I click on it.

Trey Gerrald:

They don't have it.

Trey Gerrald:

Why?

Trey Gerrald:

Why do they auto complete the titles if they don't exist in the library?

Trey Gerrald:

You're wasting my time.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, try

Trey Gerrald:

Have you experienced that?

Chelsey Donn:

your complaints always just really ri me up and get another Complaint

Chelsey Donn:

Beyond that, I don't know if you've been noticing this, so let's say you type in showgirl into Hulu.

Chelsey Donn:

It's there.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, how exciting.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, guess what?

Chelsey Donn:

You have to pay an extra fee to get the premium.

Chelsey Donn:

Premium.

Chelsey Donn:

Premium.

Chelsey Donn:

If you have the premium, premium premium, then you can watch it.

Chelsey Donn:

If you only have the premium premium, then you can't!

Chelsey Donn:

I, How many times have I paid an upcharge?

Chelsey Donn:

I keep paying these freaking upcharges.

Chelsey Donn:

Every time I go on there, they're like, Oh, don't get this thing anymore.

Chelsey Donn:

Gotta pay for this.

Chelsey Donn:

And I just pay for it.

Chelsey Donn:

And then I go on and then the next time it's like, Gotta pay for this.

Chelsey Donn:

What am I paying for?

Trey Gerrald:

specifically is guilty of that cuz they have so many different like subscription

Chelsey Donn:

We used to have all these problems with the cable companies.

Chelsey Donn:

Now I'm getting really angry at these streaming services, cuz I feel

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Well what is also frustrating to me in the same conversation of triple dipping, because

Trey Gerrald:

They go away after a certain amount of time, but they don't erase it from the search library.

Trey Gerrald:

So you start to type in show and you see girls and you click on it and they no longer have

Trey Gerrald:

So I've wasted all this time instead of just erasing it from the library

Chelsey Donn:

Or there should just be a centralized location where

Chelsey Donn:

These are the four places where you can watch it.

Chelsey Donn:

Boo boo.

Chelsey Donn:

These are the two that you're already paying for.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, right, well, that is a Google and then B, that is an app you

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Sorry.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I really hate it and it happens to me all the time, and I clocked it the

Trey Gerrald:

Pretend that you don't know the word.

Trey Gerrald:

Rude.

Chelsey Donn:

Rude.

Trey Gerrald:

All right, well,

Chelsey Donn:

Or like just make it obvious, Like make it like a different color

Trey Gerrald:

Or just have it.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Or just have it, Just get, Show girls.

Chelsey Donn:

What's wrong with you,

Trey Gerrald:

Literally, we all love doggy chow.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Wow.

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsey, are you ready to go?

Trey Gerrald:

Hey,

Chelsey Donn:

Well, now that I'm like so heated, I'm absolutely ready to go head to head.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's do it.

Trey Gerrald:

let's

VOICEOVER:

Says that Kvetch.

Trey Gerrald:

Today is yet another verses episode, and today we're not covering a Duncan.

Trey Gerrald:

We're gonna cover a one star and a five star on the same topic.

Trey Gerrald:

Starbucks?

Chelsey Donn:

Woo.

Chelsey Donn:

Woo.

Chelsey Donn:

Yep, that's right.

Chelsey Donn:

For this versus episode, Trey selected the five star and I selected the one star.

Chelsey Donn:

So to determine who reads first, we gotta flip that quota.

Chelsey Donn:

I think it's your turn to

Trey Gerrald:

I think so, yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay, here we go.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm gonna say heads,

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

tails.

Chelsey Donn:

woo.

Chelsey Donn:

That means I go first.

Trey Gerrald:

So we are going to be covering the original Starbucks location at Pike

Trey Gerrald:

Woo woo.

Trey Gerrald:

So at the time of this recording, this Starbucks location has 1,432 reviews on Yelp 601 reviews

Chelsey Donn:

It's

Trey Gerrald:

So according to the Starbucks website, the story of Starbucks began

Chelsey Donn:

Um, of the gum wall

Trey Gerrald:

Home of the gum wall from previous episode.

Trey Gerrald:

It was here where Starbucks opened its first store offering fresh roasted coffee,

Trey Gerrald:

Their name was inspired by the classic tale Moby Dick evoking the seafaring

Trey Gerrald:

Over the next 50 years, they would grow to open stores globally and become and welcome millions

Trey Gerrald:

Starbucks employees remain dedicated to their mission, to inspire and nurture

Trey Gerrald:

So with all of that background information, let's hop on in and get

VOICEOVER:

Review, That, Review.

Chelsey Donn:

It's pumpkins by a clock.

Chelsey Donn:

All right, this is a one star review, obviously from Yelp written by Amy K.

Chelsey Donn:

Here we go, do merchandise

Trey Gerrald:

Oh.

Chelsey Donn:

also.

Chelsey Donn:

Starbucks will not stand by their product.

Chelsey Donn:

They state Starbucks does not have a warranty for surf wear.

Chelsey Donn:

Most people visiting this store aren't trying to get a simple cup of coffee.

Chelsey Donn:

I see a lot of people purchasing store specific merchandise, and I hope other

Chelsey Donn:

I visited from Los Angeles and waited over 40 minutes in line to get a mug.

Chelsey Donn:

It was a significant weight in the rain, but I did it because I love S Bucks and thought it'd

Chelsey Donn:

However, I didn't realize how there is apparently zero quality control for their products.

Chelsey Donn:

I bought a unique Pike Place only mug and used it maybe three to four times so far.

Chelsey Donn:

Not Stren, just coffee, water, or tea out of it.

Chelsey Donn:

I've also never put it through the dishwasher or microwave.

Chelsey Donn:

When I tried to drink tea out of it, I noticed there were cracks all along

Chelsey Donn:

I took pictures that are attached to my review so you can see, and when I

Chelsey Donn:

I had saved over 425 points to redeem this mug and I just wanted to replace it.

Chelsey Donn:

They said, Sorry, no warranty, and here's our return policy, which was

Trey Gerrald:

Oh,

Chelsey Donn:

I have the app which has records of every purchase point,

Chelsey Donn:

I didn't bother keeping the receipt to a mug because I trusted Starbucks as a major

Chelsey Donn:

I had expected them to at least return my points to me, but nope.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh.

Chelsey Donn:

What I've learned from this experience is that loyalty to Starbucks

Chelsey Donn:

As a consumer, I am extremely disappointed by not only their product, but more so

Chelsey Donn:

My trust and loyalty has disintegrated as apparently does their serve where.

Chelsey Donn:

I do have pictures.

Chelsey Donn:

So here we go.

Chelsey Donn:

We have the first, What I found interesting was, was this sort of unique, uh, merchandise.

Chelsey Donn:

We have the first Starbucks store, 1912 Pike Place, Seattle, Washington, established 1971.

Chelsey Donn:

And then you do see on this photo, can you see Trey, how there's like these

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, but it doesn't look like liquid would come through

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, but it's still like cracked.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I think that's kind of, And then the second one, look at the inside of the

Trey Gerrald:

Oh yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

That's pretty bad.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm not happy about that.

Chelsey Donn:

It says new mug cracked inside and out again, and then another of the outside

Chelsey Donn:

Dishwasher and microwave safe.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, not a great look.

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, I see the cracks and like you would suspect that if you bought a

Trey Gerrald:

Especially like you would think That's like to Starbucks.

Trey Gerrald:

That one mug is like nothing.

Chelsey Donn:

Exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

And also I thought it was really weird that they do have the record in the app, but then what they

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, that's insane to me.

Trey Gerrald:

That makes me mad actually.

Trey Gerrald:

Cuz I don't ever even get offered a receipt.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't think, I mean, I've never purchased merchandise, I don't think outta

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, usually they don't give you a receipt unless you're like, ask for one.

Chelsey Donn:

But like you wouldn't think that you would need to because you're buying like a souvenir.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean it's like I really kind of felt for Amy Kay here, cuz it's like

Chelsey Donn:

Like you're a huge Hershey chocolate fan and you buy like some really cool Hershey

Trey Gerrald:

right?

Chelsey Donn:

offense.

Chelsey Donn:

No offense to Marshall.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I also, no, that is definitely standing alone to me for the review.

Trey Gerrald:

Like the total lack of, um, customer care.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Especially the 425 points a I've never even considered.

Trey Gerrald:

I could purchase an even at a normal Starbucks, like a bag of beans or like

Trey Gerrald:

Like, I guess obviously you can, but I, um, that is frustrating to me that the warranty

Trey Gerrald:

Serveware.

Trey Gerrald:

I've

Chelsey Donn:

know,

Trey Gerrald:

the word serveware

Chelsey Donn:

right.

Chelsey Donn:

Serveware.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, I did think that there was a lot of, you know how I love my flower lang?

Chelsey Donn:

Flowery.

Chelsey Donn:

Flowery, You know how I love my flowery language, but there was a lot of extra language

Trey Gerrald:

Well also in terms of flowery language,

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

S box.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

You know what I found interesting about that?

Chelsey Donn:

So they like, they thought it really told an interesting journey of, of Amy Kay.

Chelsey Donn:

Because like, it's like when you really love someone and you give them a nickname

Trey Gerrald:

Yes, I totally clocked

Chelsey Donn:

Right?

Chelsey Donn:

It's like we no longer have that relationship.

Trey Gerrald:

I was gonna ask you, do they say, does Amy type out

Trey Gerrald:

Except for the last, Oh my gosh.

Trey Gerrald:

Also, what, what time are you saving by abbreviating the word Starbucks to S Box?

Trey Gerrald:

Like you're cutting out three letters,

Chelsey Donn:

Not much.

Chelsey Donn:

But I think that like, in an interesting way it did show further demonstrate Amy.

Trey Gerrald:

affinity for the brand.

Chelsey Donn:

that.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like I'm not some, I'm not just like some lucky Lou that's like, Oh,

Chelsey Donn:

What the hell?

Chelsey Donn:

It was like a big deal.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm going to Seattle.

Chelsey Donn:

I love Starbucks.

Chelsey Donn:

I have to go to this location.

Chelsey Donn:

I have to get this limited edition mug.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, that's like upsetting when you go for like merch from the original place.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like that's like an exciting thing to do.

Chelsey Donn:

And then for it not to even last like three uses,

Trey Gerrald:

That's actually a really great point now that you bring that up, because when

Trey Gerrald:

It is like specifically the first store Starbucks mug.

Trey Gerrald:

So like, you know, I, maybe you could find that somewhere online, but the feeling is different

Trey Gerrald:

You know, I mean, I, I do think that this is valuable.

Trey Gerrald:

It's interesting to me that the whole experience of this review is basically about this serveware.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, I did.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean obviously there were other reviews.

Chelsey Donn:

I will say the common thread that I think was a universal thing is that like the customer

Chelsey Donn:

However, it is hard to ascertain that from this review because it seems like we're

Chelsey Donn:

Like, I don't know, I can't really tell.

Chelsey Donn:

Do we think that they were calling the Pike Place location and being like,

Chelsey Donn:

I imagine, I don't know where else they would call,

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Well that's right because they said that when they were in Seattle, they made this plan.

Trey Gerrald:

So obviously they either called Starbucks 1-800-STARBUCKS, or they like found the number.

Trey Gerrald:

Like

Chelsey Donn:

right?

Trey Gerrald:

I've never considered, I mean,

Chelsey Donn:

Like is there a 1-800-STARBUCKS?

Chelsey Donn:

Like can you just call like a corporate number?

Trey Gerrald:

what's Howard Schultz's number?

Trey Gerrald:

Let's call him.

Chelsey Donn:

Should we hit up Howard?

Chelsey Donn:

Howard is officially done as CEO as of a couple weeks ago.

Chelsey Donn:

I

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, Mosel.

Chelsey Donn:

Mo to Howard.

Trey Gerrald:

But why I do like this review is because I obviously looked at

Trey Gerrald:

That really is part of it.

Trey Gerrald:

And they have an exclusive line of merch at this store.

Trey Gerrald:

That's only the first store stuff.

Trey Gerrald:

I did find another review at a different Starbucks that says like three blocks

Trey Gerrald:

Um, but I don't know if that was truthful or shady or whatever, but there's neither here nor there.

Trey Gerrald:

You know, my only question here, Amy Kay says they had maybe three or four uses.

Trey Gerrald:

They didn't microwave it, they didn't dishwash it.

Trey Gerrald:

It was just tea and coffee.

Trey Gerrald:

But it's also a white mug.

Trey Gerrald:

So I also know when you have a dark liquid and a white mug that could seep

Trey Gerrald:

Like I, I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm just wondering, do we think there's any fault at, on Amy's behalf or strictly 0%?

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, I kind of feel like strictly 0% because if Starbucks is selling this

Chelsey Donn:

Then don't sell white mugs if that's like, I mean, how many white mugs are there out there?

Chelsey Donn:

We have, we have a white fe mug.

Chelsey Donn:

I've, I've drank out of it a million times.

Chelsey Donn:

I've never seen cracks.

Chelsey Donn:

Knock on wood.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Me

Chelsey Donn:

And I have had this happen before, by the way, two mugs

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, me too.

Chelsey Donn:

and it doesn't like bother me that much.

Chelsey Donn:

I think it happened to like a color me mind mug that I

Trey Gerrald:

was just gonna say yes.

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

So I wonder if it has something to do with like the ceramic paint

Chelsey Donn:

But like it didn't really bother me cuz I was like, I made it and my parents still used

Chelsey Donn:

But I think that if you're gonna buy, I'm sure what was like an expensive mug.

Chelsey Donn:

From Starbucks, which like you love.

Chelsey Donn:

Then Starbucks should be doing their due diligence to make sure that like it's gonna last.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I think that if Amy Kay had had this mug for two years and then it started doing this, I don't

Trey Gerrald:

Keep the receipt.

Chelsey Donn:

Keep the receipt.

Chelsey Donn:

Exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

There's steps that you can take based off of Amy's assessment, which I appreciate.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

So like obviously they said money, money sign, money sign What?

Trey Gerrald:

What else is there for spelling and grammar?

Chelsey Donn:

Well, we obviously started with the all caps.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm really happy that we didn't stay there.

Chelsey Donn:

I was a little worried when I started reading the review that we were going to, but we didn't.

Chelsey Donn:

I kind of like the like money sign, money sign, s bucks of it all.

Chelsey Donn:

It's not taking away from the experience of reading it and it, like I said, it sort of

Chelsey Donn:

Anything that is like personal like that without being over the top and obnoxious.

Chelsey Donn:

I kind of like,

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't think that I'm gonna count that against Amy.

Chelsey Donn:

Six people did find this useful.

Trey Gerrald:

Like I find Amy to be truthful.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know if the mug was a fluke.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know if, if this was a bad batch, like I'm not really sure how to deduce that necessarily.

Trey Gerrald:

But I was entertained, I did find the colloquialisms that Amy used to be

Trey Gerrald:

Especially with a one star, especially with caps.

Trey Gerrald:

Cuz you start to, like, you could go into that being like, this person's gonna be

Chelsey Donn:

Yelling at me the whole time.

Trey Gerrald:

Mm-hmm.

Chelsey Donn:

Totally.

Chelsey Donn:

And then the only other thing that I'll say is that we did kind of get what I love in a one star,

Chelsey Donn:

Because we are talking about, even though we are so upset about this, how much we love Starbucks,

Chelsey Donn:

And I like that.

Chelsey Donn:

And it makes me trust Amy more because I, They're not just doing what some, once

Chelsey Donn:

They didn't do anything like that.

Chelsey Donn:

So I appreciated that as well.

Chelsey Donn:

Have we done our due diligence for Amy?

Chelsey Donn:

Should we crown Amy?

Chelsey Donn:

Is there anything we should consider?

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, let's do it.

Trey Gerrald:

I, I could do it.

Chelsey Donn:

that's Crown Amy.

Trey Gerrald:

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards.

Trey Gerrald:

In an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will say,

VOICEOVER:

The Queens are Tabulating.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay, I'm holding up four crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey is holding up four and a half crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey, you go first.

Chelsey Donn:

Why?

Chelsey Donn:

Four and a half crowns for Amy Kay,

Trey Gerrald:

You know, I honestly, when this began, I was sort of like, What, What?

Trey Gerrald:

This doesn't have to anything to do with the store, but then when you talked about

Trey Gerrald:

So like I imagine that the merchandising sales are so out of the roof for this

Trey Gerrald:

You know what I mean?

Trey Gerrald:

And even though I can't deduce if like Amy is at fault or not, or any of that, like I do think that

Trey Gerrald:

And it would have an impact on me if, if when I ever go to this first Starbucks in my life

Trey Gerrald:

So for that reason, I said four and a half.

Trey Gerrald:

The ultimate payoff is, is large.

Trey Gerrald:

Why did you say four?

Chelsey Donn:

I know.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm starting to think maybe I should have gone closer to four and a

Chelsey Donn:

I went with four because I thought, yeah, there could have been a little bit more

Chelsey Donn:

Because a lot of the review was obviously focusing on like the recon afterwards, so I couldn't

Chelsey Donn:

That being said, I was sort of glancing over it again and, and Amy did mention

Chelsey Donn:

So there was like some info about expect to wait a long time.

Chelsey Donn:

I think overall Amy did a really good job, not a full Review Queen for me, but

Chelsey Donn:

Good job Amy.

Trey Gerrald:

Good job, Amy.

Trey Gerrald:

I hope you get a new mug.

Chelsey Donn:

J.

Chelsey Donn:

Good J Amy.

Trey Gerrald:

Good, Meg?

Chelsey Donn:

Good.

Chelsey Donn:

Mer.

Chelsey Donn:

Good.

Trey Gerrald:

Good me.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

I kinda love that.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Amy, if you're listening, will send you a good MER mug in

Trey Gerrald:

We create new merchandise every episode of Review, That, Review,

Chelsey Donn:

I know.

Chelsey Donn:

I love it.

Chelsey Donn:

Good.

Chelsey Donn:

Me?

Trey Gerrald:

well, we're gonna go get to work on making those mes.

Trey Gerrald:

In the meantime, let's take a break and when we come back we can hear an entirely

Chelsey Donn:

The Aspl saga.

Chelsey Donn:

I can't wait.

Trey Gerrald:

B

Chelsey Donn:

Brv.

VOICEOVER:

Hold your crown.

VOICEOVER:

We'll be right back.

Trey Gerrald:

It's game time Chelsey.

Trey Gerrald:

I've created a new game for us.

Chelsey Donn:

God.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

me ask, are you ready to play?

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Is.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, I like it.

Chelsey Donn:

Is it Joe or is it?

Chelsey Donn:

No.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

All right, so I have a bunch of different flavors of coffee,

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Self-explanatory.

Trey Gerrald:

We ready?

Chelsey Donn:

Yes, we're ready.

Trey Gerrald:

All right, here we go.

Trey Gerrald:

So Chelsey, the first option is, Is this Joe or no?

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Wake the Fuck Up.

Chelsey Donn:

Ooh, sassy, Joe.

Trey Gerrald:

That's correct.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

That's a brand you can buy on Amazon.

Trey Gerrald:

I've considered him many times.

Chelsey Donn:

okay.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

The next one is, this Joe or No?

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Tickled, Pickled.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

No,

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

I, Right.

Chelsey Donn:

Wow.

Trey Gerrald:

That was made up by me.

Trey Gerrald:

Was it the pickled that gave it away, or was it like if it was tickled pickle or

Chelsey Donn:

just felt like something that you would make up

Trey Gerrald:

Okay, fine.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay, this is next one.

Trey Gerrald:

Is this Joe or no?

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Pompe Roast,

Chelsey Donn:

I had a feeling I was gonna be wrong.

Trey Gerrald:

Do you?

Trey Gerrald:

You

Chelsey Donn:

one.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey?

Trey Gerrald:

But do you know why that's so offensive?

Chelsey Donn:

No.

Trey Gerrald:

Pompe.

Trey Gerrald:

They were all burned alive by the volcano

Chelsey Donn:

Um, if I knew that, I would probably know that it was a no.

Chelsey Donn:

Whoopsies.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Joe or no cup of PB and chocolate?

Chelsey Donn:

Ooh, kind.

Chelsey Donn:

Hope that's a joke.

Chelsey Donn:

That sounds good.

Trey Gerrald:

It is that is created by the company Mods Coffee.

Chelsey Donn:

yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Joe or no Birds, saliva.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God, I'm so torn right now because this is, birth saliva is an actual like

Chelsey Donn:

It's a real thing.

Chelsey Donn:

So I'm gonna say Joe

Trey Gerrald:

That's right.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh,

Trey Gerrald:

it's, um, this is coffee created by a company called Royal Bird's

Chelsey Donn:

I went to a restaurant with my parents and they ordered this for dessert.

Trey Gerrald:

There you go.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Not to yak on anyone's yum.

Trey Gerrald:

Exactly.

Trey Gerrald:

Joe, or no purple potato.

Chelsey Donn:

Hmm.

Chelsey Donn:

No.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh,

Trey Gerrald:

That's wrong, Unfortunately.

Trey Gerrald:

Purple Potato Latte is a flavor from a company called Subspace Coffee.

Trey Gerrald:

All right, Joe, or no burnt lava?

Chelsey Donn:

Ooh.

Chelsey Donn:

no.

Trey Gerrald:

Good job.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

It's a lot of pressure after the Pompe.

Chelsey Donn:

I, I just, I wasn't sure.

Trey Gerrald:

The Palm Roast Coffee.

Trey Gerrald:

That's terrible.

Trey Gerrald:

All right, we have three more.

Trey Gerrald:

You ready?

Chelsey Donn:

Yes, I'm ready.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Creamy mac and cheese, Joe, or

Chelsey Donn:

Ew.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

I hope it's now.

Chelsey Donn:

No.

Trey Gerrald:

I made that up.

Chelsey Donn:

thank goodness.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Currently you are at five, correct?

Trey Gerrald:

And two incorrect.

Trey Gerrald:

So you're winning so far.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Joe, or no?

Chelsey Donn:

Mm-hmm.

Trey Gerrald:

Hotty, biscotti, vanilla almond.

Chelsey Donn:

If that's not Joe, that's gotta be Review, That, Review, Joe.

Chelsey Donn:

Cuz that sounds delicious.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm gonna go with Joe.

Trey Gerrald:

I thought you would think I made that up.

Trey Gerrald:

That is Joe.

Trey Gerrald:

It's a flavor once again by Mods Coffee.

Chelsey Donn:

Ooh.

Chelsey Donn:

I gotta get involved with this mod business.

Trey Gerrald:

All right, Final one, Papa Fritas Brew Joe or no?

Trey Gerrald:

You got it right.

Trey Gerrald:

Do you know what that translates to?

Chelsey Donn:

French fries, fried fried potato.

Chelsey Donn:

Woo.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, I really wish there was a French fried coffee.

Trey Gerrald:

That would be so good.

Trey Gerrald:

You got eight Diva.

Trey Gerrald:

Woo.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm so proud of you.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you.

Trey Gerrald:

I, That was good.

Trey Gerrald:

You did not get tracked.

Trey Gerrald:

You're a Joe expert.

Chelsey Donn:

and I don't even have as much Joe as you do, but I think it's, you know,

Trey Gerrald:

I think that's

Chelsey Donn:

and with that in mind,

Trey Gerrald:

bye.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

Love you, Oh my God.

VOICEOVER:

Review, That, Review.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

We are back from that rousing, caffeinated game break.

Chelsey Donn:

And now it is your turn.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey?

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Trey Gerrald:

Okey dokey.

Trey Gerrald:

So today I have a five star review also from Yelp for the original Starbucks,

Chelsey Donn:

Melissa E.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

And Alyssa E is a Yelp elite.

Trey Gerrald:

Here we go.

Trey Gerrald:

The first ever Starbucks store.

Trey Gerrald:

Starbucks was opened in 1971 in Seattle's Pike Place Market.

Trey Gerrald:

The OG Shop maintains most details of its original appearance, so while this is absolutely

Trey Gerrald:

They do not serve any food, but they do have exclusive merchandise in a store.

Trey Gerrald:

Specific Pike Place Roast.

Trey Gerrald:

The employees seemed genuinely enthusiastic about working.

Trey Gerrald:

I initially attempted to come here on a Sunday at 11:00 AM which was a mistake.

Trey Gerrald:

There were over 200 people in line.

Trey Gerrald:

I tried the next day Monday at 8:20 AM and the wait was only 15 minutes.

Trey Gerrald:

I was helped by barista Anthony, who was kind and knowledgeable.

Trey Gerrald:

I had to try the Pike Place roast, which can only be purchased at the store.

Trey Gerrald:

And the interest of tasting the nuanced flavors of the coffee.

Trey Gerrald:

I ordered it as an Iced Americano, the friendly older lady working, prepared it perfectly.

Trey Gerrald:

Overall, a fun and memorable experience,

VOICEOVER:

Mm.

Trey Gerrald:

and five people have found this useful.

Trey Gerrald:

One, found it funny, two found it.

Trey Gerrald:

Cool.

Trey Gerrald:

And there are four images attached.

Trey Gerrald:

One is of the storefront.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's see the images.

Chelsey Donn:

So Alyssa lives in Seattle, or was visiting, did she say?

Trey Gerrald:

Well, they're from Long Beach.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay, so they're visiting.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So they have a picture of the front window and then all the people in line.

Trey Gerrald:

Probably on the Monday it doesn't look like that many people.

Trey Gerrald:

Then an order of the specific Pike Place bags of coffee and then their cup,

Chelsey Donn:

their drink.

Chelsey Donn:

Nice.

Chelsey Donn:

I like Alyssa's review.

Chelsey Donn:

I like Alyssa.

Chelsey Donn:

I think that Alyssa seems like a go with the flow kind of gal.

Chelsey Donn:

I like that she went on the first day, saw that there was a huge line,

Chelsey Donn:

I'm gonna come back another time.

Chelsey Donn:

You know, like what a good attitude.

Chelsey Donn:

Alyssa.

Chelsey Donn:

Like, look at this.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, Alyssa had a situation where she could have easily been one of those

Chelsey Donn:

I went, It was a nightmare.

Chelsey Donn:

I couldn't get in, blah, blah, blah.

Chelsey Donn:

But instead she was just like, Well, obviously it's busy.

Chelsey Donn:

It's a weekend.

Chelsey Donn:

I'll come back on the morning of a weekday and it should be better.

Chelsey Donn:

And it was so I thought, Mad props to Alyssa.

Trey Gerrald:

I could even see someone taking one star off and making this a four star.

Trey Gerrald:

Because they had to return.

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

Exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

It also seems like interestingly enough though, Alyssa did

Chelsey Donn:

Very queenly tip, because most Starbucks do serve food at this point.

Chelsey Donn:

Alyssa also did mention the merchandise, but Alyssa did not mention whether or

Chelsey Donn:

So I'm gonna go with the assumption that she did not,

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't think they did.

Chelsey Donn:

because I do think that that comes into play with our like one star review.

Chelsey Donn:

You know, maybe if, if Amy had just been going there for coffee, maybe Amy wouldn't

Chelsey Donn:

You know, you can go to this Starbucks and you can still have a unique experience by getting

Chelsey Donn:

So I thought that that was interesting.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

That is interesting.

Trey Gerrald:

Yin yang.

Trey Gerrald:

I also thought it was interesting cuz you mentioned a lot of the one stars

Trey Gerrald:

And in my experience, reading through a lot of five stars, people were constantly

Trey Gerrald:

They seemed to be excited to be working at that location.

Trey Gerrald:

How there was like a line attendant who was like talking about trivia and I, I do

Chelsey Donn:

Yes, I put a star there.

Trey Gerrald:

But then they also say an older lady preparing

Chelsey Donn:

I know.

Trey Gerrald:

but I guess she couldn't see their tag.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, I, yeah, I wrote that down too.

Chelsey Donn:

I thought it was Queen Lee that, Yeah, that, that she gave Anthony a shout out.

Chelsey Donn:

Who knows.

Chelsey Donn:

You know, I do think it's interesting with these line scenarios, like anything that you go to

Chelsey Donn:

As you know, we both worked in service industry jobs, so we get it.

Chelsey Donn:

And I do think it's interesting to point out that maybe in the morning when you first get

Chelsey Donn:

So maybe a lot of these more negative reviews were people that were.

Chelsey Donn:

Going closer to the end of the day after these people had been through God

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, it is interesting.

Trey Gerrald:

I was thinking about something about Alyssa's tone.

Trey Gerrald:

Feels very much like I am a Yelp elite.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm giving you the first paragraph about the backstory of this, but within that,

Trey Gerrald:

So I did find it to be worth seeing, even though I knew like what I was walking into,

Trey Gerrald:

You know what I mean?

Chelsey Donn:

I think that Alyssa, Yes, and I do, you know that, I like that.

Chelsey Donn:

I love, uh, even with the gum wall situation, when the reviewer of that gave us a little bit

Chelsey Donn:

Why is this here?

Chelsey Donn:

Even though it's not like a traditional review and that this is just my experience,

Chelsey Donn:

I do appreciate it, especially from these Yelp reviewers, elite reviewers, rather, because it

Chelsey Donn:

Like, at least you'll know.

Trey Gerrald:

and I do think it is the, the, a lot, there is a lot of useful

Trey Gerrald:

On a Sunday at 11, there were 200 people online.

Trey Gerrald:

Monday at eight 20.

Trey Gerrald:

There, it was about a 15 minute wait.

Trey Gerrald:

Like that's not, like I have waited 15 minutes in Manhattan at Starbucks.

Trey Gerrald:

So,

Chelsey Donn:

Sure.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

So a little queenly tip in there.

Trey Gerrald:

and that there is exclusive merchandise and the store specific roast,

Trey Gerrald:

Like it does pack a lot of info,

Chelsey Donn:

It definitely packs a lot of info.

Chelsey Donn:

It doesn't really leave a lot of like fat on the bone, you know, like we have a lot of

Chelsey Donn:

I really find myself a fan of Alyssa's, I

Trey Gerrald:

Spelling of grammar is really great.

Trey Gerrald:

They obviously did do spell check.

Trey Gerrald:

I find Alyssa to be truthful, I do think that the no shade alarm goes off, especially

Trey Gerrald:

So I'm like, let me just try this tomorrow.

Trey Gerrald:

I think,

Chelsey Donn:

I think that, I think that Alyssa falls on the scale of like

Chelsey Donn:

I'll say

Trey Gerrald:

I would agree.

Trey Gerrald:

Mm-hmm.

Chelsey Donn:

You know, I think that like you're gonna have, you're gonna have the

Trey Gerrald:

So for a commoner fluke experience, I mean, it's sort of in the

Trey Gerrald:

Cuz if it is touristy, you

Chelsey Donn:

That being said, like Alyssa did her due diligence and she was like warning people.

Chelsey Donn:

So if you were reading this review and you are a little bit more of a crochety

Chelsey Donn:

I'm gonna skip it.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't feel it.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't like Starbucks enough to wait in line for however long.

Trey Gerrald:

Or you could think like, let me try multiple days at different

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Or definitely let me not go on a weekend or whatever.

Trey Gerrald:

Exactly.

Trey Gerrald:

Humor, entertainment.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm a little split on, I don't find it very humorous.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm curious that some there has one vote for funny.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know what, and this is funny

Chelsey Donn:

yeah, sometimes they get a vote for funny, and I'm confused.

Trey Gerrald:

and I don't find it to be entertaining, to be honest.

Trey Gerrald:

I think it's just very reportedly.

Chelsey Donn:

Agree very reportedly.

Chelsey Donn:

Should we report, should we Review That, Review.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's do it.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm ready.

Chelsey Donn:

do it.

VOICEOVER:

The Queens are Tabulating

VOICEOVER:

to.

Chelsey Donn:

Four and a half crowns, four and a half crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

The Queens are unanimous.

Chelsey Donn:

Really loved this review Trey, great job.

Chelsey Donn:

Only took off that half crown because lack of humor.

Chelsey Donn:

And then also I think Alyssa might be a little bit more patient than your average

Chelsey Donn:

And I think that there might be some people that would be a little bit more turned off by

Chelsey Donn:

So that was the only reason I took half a crown off.

Chelsey Donn:

Other than that, super Queenly, learned a lot.

Chelsey Donn:

Didn't know about the exclusive roast, you know, didn't know about the no food.

Chelsey Donn:

Lots of information here, which I really appreciate.

Chelsey Donn:

And the length was great.

Chelsey Donn:

And Alyssa just seems like cool check, good vibes.

Chelsey Donn:

So that's why I went with four and a half.

Chelsey Donn:

How about you?

Trey Gerrald:

Interesting.

Trey Gerrald:

I said four and a half because this is basically a Review Queen, except

Trey Gerrald:

That's all.

Trey Gerrald:

Like I would love one chuckle or would love, I don't know, something about

Trey Gerrald:

You know it.

Trey Gerrald:

But that's all.

Trey Gerrald:

It just feels a little book reporter, that's all.

Chelsey Donn:

that's all.

Chelsey Donn:

That's great.

Chelsey Donn:

Good job, Alyssa.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, very interesting with this one in five, I don't really think I walk away feeling like.

Chelsey Donn:

Where would I, where would I rate Starbucks Pike Place on a scale of one to one to five?

Chelsey Donn:

Based off of these two reviews?

Chelsey Donn:

I'd say I'd probably give it like a three and a half, four.

Chelsey Donn:

Overall maybe, maybe a four, just because I think that both of these reviewers gave

Chelsey Donn:

And so I think that I could still go to this location and enjoy my custom

Chelsey Donn:

So I, I'm sure it's a, it's a good hang.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, I'm a little split.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm unsure.

Trey Gerrald:

I, I really did like when you brought up Hershey Park, cuz something to me feels

Trey Gerrald:

This is not the first location.

Trey Gerrald:

It actually was a couple of doors down or something.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh funny.

Trey Gerrald:

But then when you mentioned Hershey Park, I was like right.

Trey Gerrald:

I mean it is like a brand, like I understand they appeal and if I found myself near

Trey Gerrald:

Absolutely.

Trey Gerrald:

I

Chelsey Donn:

And if you, and if you are like curious enough to stand online cuz you

Trey Gerrald:

They are indeed.

Trey Gerrald:

So.

Trey Gerrald:

Good job, Alyssa.

Chelsey Donn:

yes.

Chelsey Donn:

Good job Amy.

Chelsey Donn:

We've got two A's two.

Chelsey Donn:

The the battle of the A's today but not really much of a battle cuz

Trey Gerrald:

Good.

Trey Gerrald:

Mer girls.

Chelsey Donn:

Good Meg, ladies.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

I learned a lot today, Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

I learned that I do not like Dunking Donuts, jelly beans that much.

Chelsey Donn:

I.

Chelsey Donn:

Yaki Yaki.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, I think that what this means is that we have reached the most regal portion of the show.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey, who are you inducting tonight for?

VOICEOVER:

My Royal line.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

So today an honor of our coffee episode, I have decided to end up this interesting

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

All right, so this is a coffee company started by an individual named

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So I was really struck by this company.

Trey Gerrald:

I found out about it on Instagram, ironically, and I listened to a podcast

Trey Gerrald:

So I wanted to induct them today.

Trey Gerrald:

So Cheyenne created this company, which Queer Wave Coffee is cultivated and harvested and Honduras

Chelsey Donn:

Wow.

Trey Gerrald:

So the intentionality around Queer Wave Coffee and Cheyenne Sochi loves

Trey Gerrald:

Coffee was stolen from Ethiopia and smuggled throughout the equator by colonial men.

Trey Gerrald:

Indigenous people were forced to grow coffee under the power and benefit of white plantation owners.

Trey Gerrald:

So a majority of the coffee industry today still continues to be controlled

Trey Gerrald:

So it's impossible to make any change by supporting those in power.

Trey Gerrald:

So Cheyenne has created Queer Wave Coffee as an opportunity.

Trey Gerrald:

To disrupt that supply chain.

Trey Gerrald:

And I love this quote from their website.

Trey Gerrald:

It's, they say, Support your local coffee roaster if you feel good about their business practices,

Trey Gerrald:

If they don't, we are here for you.

Trey Gerrald:

Which I think is such a Queen amazing opportunity.

Trey Gerrald:

There's so much like, this is obviously a very like tough, dark conversation,

Trey Gerrald:

And so I bought a bag of Queer Wave coffee today, and I encourage all of you to do the same.

Trey Gerrald:

And you can follow Queer Wave Coffee on Instagram at Queer Wave Coffee.

Trey Gerrald:

And for that reason, my Royal Highness today is Queer Wave Coffee and Cheyenne Sochi love.

Chelsey Donn:

Love that.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you, Cheyenne.

Chelsey Donn:

What a great mission.

Chelsey Donn:

I'll have to check out the coffee myself.

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, and also just giving power to the area that was colonized in 1772 and not

Trey Gerrald:

Very fascinating.

Trey Gerrald:

You can also follow Cheyenne on Instagram as well.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, that, That's it.

Trey Gerrald:

So we've done another round on the R You and RQ Ferris Wheel of I'm a Caffeinated.

Chelsey Donn:

thank you for joining us today.

Chelsey Donn:

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

Trey Gerrald:

If you did not like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

Trey Gerrald:

If you have zero friends and zero enemies, lucky you, but you want the chance to be

Chelsey Donn:

If you'd like to support the production of our show, visit

Trey Gerrald:

Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to

Chelsey Donn:

and hit up our voice mailbox 1 8 50 review zero.

Chelsey Donn:

You can follow us on all the socials at the review.

Chelsey Donn:

Queens.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm at ChelseyBD.

Trey Gerrald:

And I am at Trey Gerrald.

Trey Gerrald:

On today's 52nd episode, a full year of the after show Chelsey and Trey will be rating

Trey Gerrald:

Four Dunking Donuts, jelly beans.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my goodness.

Chelsey Donn:

Somebody had five stars for this.

Trey Gerrald:

Mm-hmm.

Trey Gerrald:

, get ready.

Trey Gerrald:

So if you wanna find out what made Chelsey say,

Chelsey Donn:

Hands down, this place has the worst crack in Seattle.

Chelsey Donn:

And find out what made Trey say

Trey Gerrald:

Well, why didn't I do this since it's so stupid?

Chelsey Donn:

then.

Chelsey Donn:

Join our patreonPage@patreon.com slash Review That Review to hear our weekly

Trey Gerrald:

And remember,

Chelsey Donn:

Ignore the haters.

Chelsey Donn:

You're a Queen.

Trey Gerrald:

gender nonspecific Queen.

Chelsey Donn:

Gender non-specific Starbucks Pike Place, Jelly Bean Queen Queen S

Trey Gerrald:

buy

Chelsey Donn:

Bye.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

VOICEOVER:

As an independent podcast, certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty

VOICEOVER:

Our cover art was designed by Lovo, and our theme song was written by Joe

Trey Gerrald:

sandwich.

Chelsey Donn:

Sand.

Chelsey Donn:

We,

Trey Gerrald:

Do you think you've ever said the word sandwich?

Chelsey Donn:

I don't like think that I consciously say sand.

Chelsey Donn:

We, I think maybe it just sounds like that.

Chelsey Donn:

I think I say sandwich like a witch.

Chelsey Donn:

Like a witch with a room,

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

you know?

Chelsey Donn:

But I guess it sounds like sandwich.

Trey Gerrald:

No, no, no.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm asking

Chelsey Donn:

I also say tree, which like, but apparently sometimes it sounds like I'm

Trey Gerrald:

Oh

Chelsey Donn:

You know what I mean?

Chelsey Donn:

So,

Trey Gerrald:

sound cuz I say Trey.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't say Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm sure I say Trey tree.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I chew on it a little bit, but you know,

Trey Gerrald:

That's chew on some jelly beans.

Trey Gerrald:

Shall we

Chelsey Donn:

Ugh, Not this, not these, but I'm curious to see what this five

Chelsey Donn:

So let's hop on over to the after show.

Trey Gerrald:

join us on Friday Queens?

Trey Gerrald:

Bye.

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Review That Review with Chelsey and Trey
Review That Review with Chelsey and Trey
A comedy podcast rating reviewing, and hilariously dissecting online reviews, uncovering the outrageous stories behind the stars.

About your hosts

Profile picture for Trey Gerrald

Trey Gerrald

Actor | Writer | Human-Person
Review Queen 👑
Profile picture for Chelsey Donn

Chelsey Donn

Actress | Comedian | Writer
Review Queen 👑