194: PART TWO - Speed Dating: 1 vs 5 Stars

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Everybody's got an opinion.

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Every Californian and Virginian.

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It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

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Someone's gotta settle the score.

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Trey and Chelsea will help you choose.

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Whose views win?

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Which ones lose?

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Online haters are coming for you.

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Baby, it's time to review the reviews!

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All right.

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Welcome back to our coverage of the Yelp reviews for Speed

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Dating for New York Minute.

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Okay.

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In part one, we heard the one star review.

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And now as we've been teasing, we are going to hear the

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other side of the coin here.

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Try.

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Now we're going to hear the five star.

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Yes.

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But before we do, Chelsea, I think it's time that we take a quick little spin.

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On the Meryl go round.

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Let's do it.

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I don't feel like an icon as I feel like icon.

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That's with an A.

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Alright, here's the deal.

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Trey and I have each picked a rotten, scathing, pithy one star zinger and

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with 30 seconds on the clock we'll take turns trying to recite the

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zinger in as many genres as possible.

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Just like Queen Meryl Streep, who does it all.

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Before the clock runs out,

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all right, I try you go first.

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You want me to go first?

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Yes.

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All right.

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So in honor of the love theme, I found this one star walmart.

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com review for a Jessica Simpson perfume called fancy love.

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Fancy love.

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No idea.

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Okay.

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Um, and this is not, um, Amazon customer.

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This is Walmart customer.

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They don't want to self identify.

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Now their, their, um, subject is, it's a no for me, doesn't smell right.

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But their review is, it smells like hairspray.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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That was so funny.

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Um, I'm going to strap you into that giant can of hairspray from like

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Hairspray the Musical where they like bring them in like a Trojan horse.

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Mm hmm.

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You know what I'm talking about?

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Of course I do.

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Okay.

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So that's what you're strapped in on.

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Here we go.

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Are you ready?

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I'm ready.

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Let's do it.

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Three, two, one.

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Shakespeare.

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It smells like a hairspray.

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Adult film.

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Smells like hairspray.

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TLC reality.

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Smells like hairspray.

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Disaster.

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It smells like hairspray.

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Devil Evangelist.

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It smells like a hairspray, Jesus Christ.

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Disney.

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Oh, she's got a secure spoon!

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Magic show!

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Secure spoon!

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Okay, I'll give it to you.

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You gave us a visual.

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Thank you.

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That was really good.

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All right, you got one, two,

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seven!

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D. Va, very good!

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Thank you.

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Amazing job.

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Okay.

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My one star zinger, I decided to explore the LA side of speed dating and my

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one star zinger and I found a company called The three day rule matchmaking.

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This is a one star Yelp review that is written by Cynthia S And

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the review is quite succinct.

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Terrible.

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Oh, wow.

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They don't hold back.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Are you ready?

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Melodrama.

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Disc jockey.

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This is a terrible.

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Opera diva.

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True crime doc.

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Terrible.

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Magic show.

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Terrible!

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Yankee.

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Terrible!

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Lifetime.

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Terrible!

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Spy.

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Terrible.

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Lime.

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WWE.

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Terrible!

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2, 4, 6, 8. Ten!

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Woo!

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I'm terrible.

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I only had one word.

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But still, you had the clarity of mind.

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Aw, thank you.

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Good job!

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Thank you.

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You really did it.

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Oh my goodness.

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I can't believe it.

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Well, I am so excited to hear this five star review because I obviously have

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my opinions about New York Minute, and I want to see if you can sway them.

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So, to start us off.

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Yeah, let's, let's take a little gander over here.

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So.

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Today, I have this five star written by Elizabeth C, who

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lives in Brooklyn, New York.

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Brooklyn in the house.

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And here we go.

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I won't use NY Minute dating services anymore because I already found my

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Mr. Right through one of their events.

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I recommend their speed dating events and their singles cruises

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to all of my friends all the time.

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Some of my friends have met their significant others

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through these events, too.

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They really do work.

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I had attended three past events.

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One was a speed dating event on Valentine's Day in 2012 at a venue called

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Slate on 21st Street and 5th Avenue.

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The second speed dating event was at the DL. on Delancey Street.

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My final event was not a speed dating event.

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It was one of their singles cruise around Manhattan on March 26th, 2013.

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Great drinks.

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Great music.

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Great people.

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Parentheses.

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I made lots of new friends that night.

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And I met my B. F. that night there.

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Highly recommend.

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OK, so by cruise, do we mean the Circle Line?

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You were waiting on that.

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It's their single.

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She's dying at herself.

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I

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mean, it's gotta be the Circle Line.

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Oh my God.

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Sorry.

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I

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used to live right near the Circle Line, so.

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So

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that is the review.

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Okay.

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I thought you had something else to say.

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Okay.

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So this feels a little saccharine to me, Trey.

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Um, I have my thoughts on this.

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I don't know that this is an authentic review.

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I shouldn't be so accusatory right out of the gate because maybe there is a

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world in which this is Elizabeth C's truthful experience, but something just

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smells fishy because I feel like the whole review was like, uh, Just an ad.

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It was like, I met my husband and started my friends.

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You know what?

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I gave it three times.

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One said Slate, which I love, by the way.

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On 21st he used to go to acting school right next door.

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Love Slate.

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It's great.

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Once was that sling, one was downtown, and the third was the big

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one, the cruise around Manhattan.

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Um, it just felt very sales pitchy to me.

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I, I see that read on it.

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Like, it's interesting to me because all of the specifics

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feel a little unnecessary.

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Like, I don't need to know that it was at the DL or whatever, like, that's weird.

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But I actually appreciated, like, it was actually the singles cruise.

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That's not the circle line that like profitable for me, but right now that

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you mentioned that I am sort of like, Oh,

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I'm sure that's like the most expensive event, you know?

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So I don't know.

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It feels a little odd.

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I agree with you.

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I also think the specifics that they gave, I wish they had spoken

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more about their significant other.

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I wish they had been like, I met them and like, this was, I don't

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know, just like gotten more into.

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Yeah.

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What they were both doing there and how they met and why they were such a good

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match and just like something to make me feel like this relationship is real.

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So that was written April 22nd, 2015.

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Okay.

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On December 2nd, 2018.

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So three years later.

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We get an updated review.

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Oh God,

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okay.

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I got engaged over the summer!

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My fiancé and I met at an minute dating event.

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I couldn't be happier.

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I wrote an email directly to Jen at the company and she wrote me such

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a nice email congratulating us.

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I didn't know if she would remember me since it's been a few years since I last

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attended one of their events, but she did.

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They offered to pay for our wedding pictures slash video as a gift.

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How sweet is that?

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They're really amazing people.

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Okay, now I'm even more convinced that this is fake.

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Or, and, or, and, or, coerced, like, extremely coerced.

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Really?

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Yes, Trey.

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They're paying for their photo, like, it's just like, okay, so, if I meet my

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significant other on your thing, then you're gonna pay for my wedding photos.

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Like, it just feels so I don't believe it.

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You sent me a picture of the engagement ring.

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I mean, it, it, it could be Elizabeth

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has also attached a photo, so you'll see it up on the screen now.

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Am I just like a total cynic because I'm single and I just like.

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Don't want to believe that this is true.

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Maybe I don't know but I also feel like it.

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It's just like

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too Complimentary,

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but maybe that's just

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the verbose way that Elizabeth speaks

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It could be it could be um, all right the spelling and grammar Was fine,

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right?

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Like is there is there any unique valuable information?

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I would say if you see a photo of an engagement ring in a review of this thing,

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then that's probably going to be valuable.

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If we look a little deeper, are we starting to question?

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But if this

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is the same company that has actors and stand ins, I feel like it's pretty easy

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to find, like Literally, you can just Google a picture of an engagement ring.

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Touche.

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Thank you.

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I have several for drag.

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Uh, that's right.

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That could

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be your hand.

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This looks like, how dare you, I have much prettier fingers.

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No offense, Elizabeth, that was a joke.

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Okay.

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Um, okay.

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Yeah.

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Spelling

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grammar is fine.

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Like, there's not really anything to talk about.

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Right.

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And then obviously been going back and

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forth on the truthful shady.

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The shady scale is high for me, but maybe I'm a cynic.

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Well, it's funny because I didn't get that read on the first

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one,

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like at all, except I was like, why is she saying like the restaurant?

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Like this is so weird.

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Yeah.

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But when you started putting out, I was like, Oh, but then it is sort

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of like, Oh, I totally buy that.

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Right.

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And then I'm also like, it's so valuable.

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I know how valuable it would be to have a engagement ring.

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Totally.

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Review.

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Right.

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You mean like it's valuable for the company.

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Mm hmm.

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Yeah.

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I mean, there must be, at very least, there's like, a big incentive, like,

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if you write us a review, and like, you've met here, we will pay for

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your, you know, like, there's gotta be We'll pick your wedding pictures.

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Exactly.

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I was like, I thought she was gonna say they paid for the frickin wedding.

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I know, I thought I was gonna say that at first, too.

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Like what?

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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So do we think that this is common?

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I mean, you were in the five star world.

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Did you come across other engagements?

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To be fair, there weren't that many to pick from.

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Okay.

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Just full disclosure.

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Sure.

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And um, the ones that were, were sort of like, you know, they

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were like cynically, you know,

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Realistic that it's like a crapshoot.

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I mean, no matter how you go about dating, no matter what the

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convention is that you put around it.

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It's like, you know,

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yeah, I think that's it.

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I think I wish there was a little bit more of that in like that

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groundedness in the reviewer.

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It was like I had the hardest time dating.

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I had the hardest time.

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Like, give me something.

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Give me something.

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Give me story.

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Okay.

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All right.

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So I feel

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that to like something.

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I don't know why, but something doesn't.

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I don't like Elizabeth.

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Like, if it was that easy,

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you, like, you wouldn't even need the speed dating.

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Like, I don't know.

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It's like, give me a little drama, Elizabeth.

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I want more.

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But sometimes people don't have any drama in their life.

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How is that possible, Trey?

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I don't know, but sometimes people just f ing go to a singles

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cruise and they f ing get engaged.

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I guess.

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But then I, even more so.

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Think that Elizabeth is the anomaly.

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Were we humored?

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I was humored by the circle line.

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I thought

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you were going to say Elizabeth is the devil.

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I don't know why I thought that's what you were going

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to say.

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No, I don't think that they're the devil.

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I think they might be Jen.

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Oh, really?

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Maybe.

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Well, Jen, let us know.

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Was it

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you?

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Defend yourself.

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Humor, entertained.

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I told you I was entertained by the circle line, but I'm entertained by the idea

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of calling something a cruise that is just like a little like dip rum and hat.

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Oh, but like so many companies do that.

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I know.

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I know.

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I don't know how entertained I am.

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My whole perspective has been shifted from this conversation.

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So that is entertaining.

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Okay.

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Interesting.

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Yes.

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Okay.

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So the impact, do you feel like if you are just looking at Chrissy and

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Elizabeth C comparing their reviews?

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Do you think it's worth it to go to this company?

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You know, maybe this is the proof of concept on this, these versus

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episodes because I literally came into today being like, there's no denying

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the, it's like a engagement ring.

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Like that's what you want.

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But I feel so influenced by Chris sees on star that I'm like, let me go back

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and look at these other 64 reviews.

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Because I don't, I don't know.

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I feel like the truth always lands a little in the middle, but I, where

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Chris C had so many meticulous points about X, Y, and Z could be fact

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checked or exaggerate, whatever.

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We don't get much of anything from our five star, which may

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be like the proof, you know, a picture's worth a thousand words.

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But even the fact that the hand isn't like with the man or like

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maybe you don't want to put his face on but it's like, I don't know.

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I really feel completely different than how I thought I would at

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this coming into this episode.

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Alright,

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well I think you should think about that while we crown.

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Should we do it?

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Yeah, let's do it.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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The queens

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are tabulating.

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Time

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for school.

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Okay, I'm holding up two crowns.

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Trey's holding up three and a half crowns.

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I'll go first.

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I just don't believe them.

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I think that maybe I'm a total cynic and that's where the two crowns came from

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because I could be totally wrong and Elizabeth C maybe really did, you're the

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one in a million and you met your person.

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It's totally possible that it could have happened, but because I didn't have any

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gravitas there, I didn't have anything else to really balance out the review.

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It felt really saccharine to me and because of that, I could only give you

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two crowns, but Trey gave you three and a half, so why'd you do that?

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Just because.

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In the details, Elizabeth points out they took the cruise in March

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of 2013, they leave a review in April of 2015, and then they show

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the engagement of December of 2018.

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So there's a long enough, I mean, I don't know, the whole timeline of this

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Yelp review section is confusing to me.

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Yes.

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With when Jen chooses to reply.

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It's like.

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Also, it's worth nothing, but there is a reply from the owner that's literally, Hi

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Elizabeth, thank you very much for sharing your experience with the Yelp community.

Speaker: 00:18:10

Like that's your reply to someone who has an engagement ring photo?

Speaker: 00:18:14

Weird, weird.

Speaker: 00:18:16

Especially considering how passionate we were about our last reply

Speaker: 00:18:20

and when you like offered to pay for their pictures and videos

Speaker: 00:18:23

Like you just wrote one sentence,

Speaker: 00:18:25

right?

Speaker: 00:18:25

Something's odd Yeah,

Speaker: 00:18:30

I don't know I don't think I'm gonna use this company,

Speaker: 00:18:34

sorry I don't know guys if you have been to any of these events Let us know in the

Speaker: 00:18:42

comments Are there any like speed dating organizations that you do recommend?

Speaker: 00:18:48

Let us know in the comments because I feel like

Speaker: 00:18:50

what makes a good speed dating event.

Speaker: 00:18:55

Oh,

Speaker: 00:18:55

asking our audience.

Speaker: 00:18:58

I think being clumped into groups based on your favorite diva.

Speaker: 00:19:01

I think so.

Speaker: 00:19:02

I think that was a great idea.

Speaker: 00:19:03

Okay.

Speaker: 00:19:03

Someone should take note of that.

Speaker: 00:19:06

Watch that's going to become like the next million dollar idea.

Speaker: 00:19:10

Right.

Speaker: 00:19:11

Better be patented by us.

Speaker: 00:19:13

We have so many patents here on Review That Review.

Speaker: 00:19:16

All right.

Speaker: 00:19:16

Well, that was super fun.

Speaker: 00:19:18

I'm glad that we did that.

Speaker: 00:19:19

I feel thank you again, Taylor, for the suggestion.

Speaker: 00:19:22

I feel like it was a good one.

Speaker: 00:19:23

I think this was fertile soil, and I'm really glad we did this.

Speaker: 00:19:28

Love you, Queens.

Speaker: 00:19:29

Keep your crowns up.

Speaker: 00:19:31

We'll see you on Wednesday for an entirely new topic.

Speaker: 00:19:35

I wonder what it will be.

Speaker: 00:19:37

Hmm, so curious.

Speaker: 00:19:38

So curious.

Speaker: 00:19:39

That's my beard.

Speaker: 00:19:40

And please like, comment, subscribe, share, do all the things, do the big one.

Speaker: 00:19:44

It's free for you.

Speaker: 00:19:45

It's so meaningful to us.

Speaker: 00:19:46

So meaningful.

Speaker: 00:19:47

Thank you so much for being here.

Speaker: 00:19:49

Love you.

Speaker: 00:19:50

See you soon.

Speaker: 00:19:50

Love you,

Speaker: 00:19:50

Queens.

Speaker: 00:19:51

Bye.

Speaker: 00:19:54

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Call the kvetch line today.

Speaker: 00:20:19

Ah, so fun.

Speaker: 00:20:21

Honestly, I'm so glad I don't have to do a speed dating event

Speaker: 00:20:25

' cause you're married.

Speaker: 00:20:27

Some of us might need to actually go on speed date.

Speaker: 00:20:29

I just think that even if I was single, that is not the

Speaker: 00:20:34

environment for me to thrive in.

Speaker: 00:20:35

It seems like very stressful, like it's just too, but also maybe it's good

Speaker: 00:20:40

because if it's speed dating and I'm like, this is awkward, it's thank you next.

Speaker: 00:20:45

I don't know.

Speaker: 00:20:46

I don't know.

Speaker: 00:20:47

Something about that.

Speaker: 00:20:47

Just how does anyone, what if we did a

Speaker: 00:20:49

review, like a review queen's speed dating?

Speaker: 00:20:53

What would that

Speaker: 00:20:54

be?

Speaker: 00:20:54

Okay, so it'd be like, you'd be looped together by your favorite review platform.

Speaker: 00:21:03

Oh, yes.

Speaker: 00:21:04

That sounds good.

Speaker: 00:21:05

And you would talk about, maybe you would share like a favorite review

Speaker: 00:21:09

and see if you like get along based on your decided humor about reviews.

Speaker: 00:21:14

The Kleenex review.

Speaker: 00:21:15

The Kleenex review.

Speaker: 00:21:16

That we both brought

Speaker: 00:21:17

in.

Speaker: 00:21:17

We did.

Speaker: 00:21:18

We did.

Speaker: 00:21:19

I re listened to that episode recently.

Speaker: 00:21:20

If you haven't listened to it, it's a winner.

Speaker: 00:21:23

It's from the first Thanksgiving episode.

Speaker: 00:21:26

All right.

Speaker: 00:21:26

Queens.

Speaker: 00:21:27

We love you guys.

Speaker: 00:21:28

We love you.

Speaker: 00:21:29

See you soon.

Speaker: 00:21:29

Bye.

Speaker: 00:21:30

Thanks

Speaker: 00:21:38

for watching Queens.

Speaker: 00:21:39

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