Episode 10: Lash Lab / Splash at the Boathouse

CHELSEY: 00:00:10

Hello!

TREY: 00:00:31

Hi there.

TREY: 00:00:33

Welcome to Review That Review.

TREY: 00:00:35

This is episode 10 of the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY: 00:00:39

Unbelievable.

CHELSEY: 00:00:40

...reviews!

CHELSEY: 00:00:41

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

TREY: 00:00:52

That's Chelsey Donn.

CHELSEY: 00:00:53

And that's Trey Gerrald.

TREY: 00:00:55

Or in the words of friend of the pod HammondCheeseSandWitch, that's Tracy and I'm Che,

VOICEOVER: 00:01:08

The Review Queens.

TREY: 00:01:13

How's that crown today, Tracy.

CHELSEY: 00:01:15

Well, Che.

CHELSEY: 00:01:16

My, my crown is great today.

CHELSEY: 00:01:19

yeah, I'm holding my crown high.

CHELSEY: 00:01:21

How's your crown today?

TREY: 00:01:22

My crown is good.

TREY: 00:01:23

You know, I had a really spectacular weekend away.

TREY: 00:01:26

My husband and I were celebrating.

TREY: 00:01:28

This is funny to me because I remember when we first started dating, I was a

TREY: 00:01:41

We were like consciously being together one day at a time.

TREY: 00:01:44

So we would celebrate monthly anniversaries, but I would need coverage every now and then.

TREY: 00:01:48

And the other waiters would be like, oh, it's the anniversary!

TREY: 00:01:50

Thinking it was like years or something, not actual months.

TREY: 00:01:54

So then like everyone made fun of me after a while because they're like,

TREY: 00:02:00

So we went away to Ogunquit, Maine, which is where we met 11 years ago.

TREY: 00:02:05

It was amazing.

TREY: 00:02:06

We stayed at this gorgeous AirBnB.

TREY: 00:02:08

We waited a little too long...

TREY: 00:02:09

it's like a small little place.

TREY: 00:02:11

So a lot of the stuff was taken.

TREY: 00:02:14

And so we stumbled upon, we were the first people to stay in this gorgeous Airbnb in Wells,

TREY: 00:02:25

And I just want to give it a shout out because we were the first to stay there.

TREY: 00:02:28

It's the quiet three bedroom beach cabin getaway.

TREY: 00:02:33

And the host is Samantha it's in Wells, Maine.

TREY: 00:02:35

It was just the two of us and our two dogs, but this was the only option.

TREY: 00:02:40

And last minute.

TREY: 00:02:41

It was so perfect.

TREY: 00:02:43

Like it was this three bedroom, but it was a really small cabin.

TREY: 00:02:45

So it didn't feel like we were in this mansion and they were just awesome

TREY: 00:02:51

And they knew we were bringing our dogs.

TREY: 00:02:53

So they put out a little dog bowl, which was so cute.

TREY: 00:02:56

Um, it was really great.

TREY: 00:02:58

I actually missed you.

TREY: 00:02:59

Okay.

TREY: 00:02:59

A lot.

TREY: 00:03:00

I was telling David, this is like the first time I've wanted to return from a vacation

TREY: 00:03:08

So I'm so happy to be here.

TREY: 00:03:10

How are you, Chelsey?

TREY: 00:03:12

How was your week?

CHELSEY: 00:03:13

Oh, my God.

CHELSEY: 00:03:14

First of all, I missed you a lot too.

CHELSEY: 00:03:16

I was like trying not to be a codependent and allow you to have your anniversary weekend.

CHELSEY: 00:03:22

So I just want you to know it was a lot of effort, but I did a few also.

CHELSEY: 00:03:27

Yeah, I've had a good week.

CHELSEY: 00:03:29

I just got a brand new puppy, which is very exciting and very exhausting in all the ways.

CHELSEY: 00:03:37

So I don't sleep anymore.

CHELSEY: 00:03:39

So we're just going to have to let that go, but she's worth it cause she's really cute.

TREY: 00:03:43

And what is your puppy's name?

CHELSEY: 00:03:45

My puppy's name is Goldie and maybe we'll...

TREY: 00:03:49

We're cheering for Goldie!

CHELSEY: 00:03:50

Aw, We're cheering for Goldie.

CHELSEY: 00:03:52

She's named after Goldie Hawn, but she's Goldie Donn.

TREY: 00:03:55

David asked me how you came up with the name Goldie.

TREY: 00:03:57

And I was like, I haven't asked actually.

CHELSEY: 00:03:59

Yeah, I love, I'm like the biggest Goldie Hawn fan ever, always like, love her so much.

CHELSEY: 00:04:06

In fact, my friends came over to meet Goldie and we had to decide which Goldie

TREY: 00:04:14

What'd you pick?

CHELSEY: 00:04:15

Just in Goldie's honor!

CHELSEY: 00:04:17

We picked, House Sitter it's it's Goldie Hawn and Steve Martin.

CHELSEY: 00:04:23

And it's, it's not as, I guess, like it's not as mainstream, but it's just

CHELSEY: 00:04:29

And she's just amazing in everything that she does so she could do no, no wrong in my book.

CHELSEY: 00:04:35

And Steve Martin, it's like Steve Martin at his best, like second to Father of the Bride for me.

CHELSEY: 00:04:42

It was fun.

CHELSEY: 00:04:43

We enjoyed it.

CHELSEY: 00:04:44

We had a great time.

CHELSEY: 00:04:44

I think Goldie liked it.

CHELSEY: 00:04:46

She didn't, she didn't complain.

CHELSEY: 00:04:48

So...

TREY: 00:04:49

Overboard was one of my favorite movies as a kid.

TREY: 00:04:51

We used to watch it relentlessly.

TREY: 00:04:53

Well, congratulations on Goldie.

TREY: 00:04:55

I know that Goldie has entered your life in a very wonderful time and we are very happy that

CHELSEY: 00:05:04

Yes, she's the head of security.

CHELSEY: 00:05:05

So she's going to keep an eye out for us.

CHELSEY: 00:05:09

I think that we should probably...

VOICEOVER: 00:05:12

Lodge A Complaint.

CHELSEY: 00:05:14

Trey, do you have a complaint to lodge today?

TREY: 00:05:16

Oh boy, do I ever.

CHELSEY: 00:05:18

Can't wait.

TREY: 00:05:19

So, I mentioned, we went to Ogunquit, Maine.

TREY: 00:05:22

Ogunquit, historically, was known as a safe haven for LGBTQ people and families.

TREY: 00:05:29

So that is always wonderful.

TREY: 00:05:30

And that still exists today.

TREY: 00:05:32

And there is this like deconsecrated church.

TREY: 00:05:36

So that just means it was one, it was built as a Methodist church and it...

CHELSEY: 00:05:40

and now it's a bingo hall?

TREY: 00:05:41

Well, it's been stripped of all of its holiness, which has

CHELSEY: 00:05:46

Oh, like there's actually a process for that.

TREY: 00:05:48

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:05:49

Oh, wow.

CHELSEY: 00:05:50

Okay.

TREY: 00:05:50

I don't know what it is, but I'm sure it's similar to The Exorcist.

CHELSEY: 00:05:53

...Like, before it becomes like a bowling alley or something

TREY: 00:05:58

Exactly.

TREY: 00:05:59

All right.

TREY: 00:05:59

So this previous church is now a gift shop.

TREY: 00:06:05

And it's in the middle of town and you know, it's a two lane street and the name and they sell

TREY: 00:06:18

And the name of the church, ex-church gift shop.

TREY: 00:06:22

Do you have any guesses what they've named it?

CHELSEY: 00:06:24

What they've named the gift shop?

TREY: 00:06:25

Like if you were going to take an old church building, it has a huge clock tower.

TREY: 00:06:29

It's like a steeple.

TREY: 00:06:31

It's totally a church.

TREY: 00:06:32

What would you name it?

CHELSEY: 00:06:34

Holy Gifts.

TREY: 00:06:36

Cute.

CHELSEY: 00:06:37

Okay.

TREY: 00:06:37

Okay.

TREY: 00:06:37

So they have named it Revelations.

CHELSEY: 00:06:40

Okay.

TREY: 00:06:41

Cute.

TREY: 00:06:41

That's a cute name.

TREY: 00:06:43

We were seated at a restaurant, which was across the street, so it kept

TREY: 00:06:49

There's a huge missed opportunity here.

TREY: 00:06:52

This is like a gay, friendly place.

TREY: 00:06:54

Everyone has gay flags everywhere.

TREY: 00:06:56

Why was it not called Leviti-Gifts?

CHELSEY: 00:07:01

Why?

TREY: 00:07:02

Okay.

TREY: 00:07:02

You're Jewish.

TREY: 00:07:02

So that joke doesn't land on you.

CHELSEY: 00:07:04

No, but Leviticus is one of the, is the old Testament.

CHELSEY: 00:07:07

So like I know Leviticus, roughly.

TREY: 00:07:09

So, leviticus is like the one section of the Bible where people point to say that homosexuality

TREY: 00:07:21

or...

TREY: 00:07:22

should not lay with...

TREY: 00:07:23

man shall not lay with mankind as they do with womankind.

TREY: 00:07:28

You know, also famously like the next verse is like don't mix fabrics,

CHELSEY: 00:07:36

Right.

TREY: 00:07:37

So anyway, I think...

CHELSEY: 00:07:39

But we ignore those cause that's not important.

TREY: 00:07:42

Well, duh.

TREY: 00:07:43

But I think that there's a huge opportunity that's been missed.

TREY: 00:07:46

This should be called Leviti-Gifts.

TREY: 00:07:47

I kept saying it over and over and over.

CHELSEY: 00:07:49

Oh, Leviti - GIFTS!.

TREY: 00:07:51

Oh yeah, did I not pronouncate?

CHELSEY: 00:07:53

No, I, yes.

CHELSEY: 00:07:54

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:07:54

I heard Leviticus, but Leviti-Gifts makes more sense.

TREY: 00:07:58

I lthink Leviti-Gifts is such a better name because this is a gay area.

TREY: 00:08:02

They would go to Leviti-Gifts and they would get a nice shawl or like a

TREY: 00:08:09

So anyway, my complaint this week is, if I am ever going to frequent a gift shop, in a gay friendly

TREY: 00:08:21

I don't want its name to be anything other than Leviti-Gifts.

TREY: 00:08:24

Otherwise you're wasting my pun and humor time.

TREY: 00:08:28

The end.

CHELSEY: 00:08:29

Well, I think at very least you should have given them the opportunity.

CHELSEY: 00:08:32

Like, did you tell them that this maybe they would be open to a rebrand?

TREY: 00:08:37

Well, I really did think about that and I've, I've looked them up.

TREY: 00:08:39

They do have a website, revelationsgiftshop.com.

TREY: 00:08:44

And I'm gonna see if I can reach out to them.

TREY: 00:08:46

Oh, there's a whole contact form.

CHELSEY: 00:08:48

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:08:49

I think you should reach out at very least, like maybe they can do like a Leviti-Gifts event.

CHELSEY: 00:08:54

Like would that.

CHELSEY: 00:08:55

Would that help?

TREY: 00:08:57

Well, I did say to David, I think maybe like this should be my, like hobby now.

TREY: 00:09:00

Like I should just go across the country and find churches that are no longer functioning

CHELSEY: 00:09:07

Yes.

TREY: 00:09:07

But I don't think I'm really gonna anytime soon..

CHELSEY: 00:09:08

GAY Gift Shops, which will definitely D what is it, consecrate them?

TREY: 00:09:14

Mmm-hmm.

TREY: 00:09:14

Yeah, there's a, there's a church that was turned into a home in Key West, but that's like a house

TREY: 00:09:22

Like in Key West or maybe in Fire Island, if there's like a, an old church, I don't really

TREY: 00:09:32

You could paint a side of the wall like that pink wall in LA, where

TREY: 00:09:36

It'd be a whole thing.

TREY: 00:09:36

Anyway, that's my complaint.

TREY: 00:09:38

It's been lodged.

TREY: 00:09:39

And, um, please, please, please.

TREY: 00:09:42

If you have a gift shop, that's an old church.

TREY: 00:09:45

Please rename it Leviti-Gifts.

CHELSEY: 00:09:47

And give Trey a little credit at the same time.

TREY: 00:09:50

You don't even have to give me credit.

TREY: 00:09:52

You don't, I don't even need it.

TREY: 00:09:53

I just need that to be rectified in the world.

TREY: 00:09:55

Chelsey, what about you?

TREY: 00:09:56

What is your complaint for the week?

CHELSEY: 00:09:58

Okay, so my complaint is, you know, like when you go on a website and

CHELSEY: 00:10:12

I think I always land just shy.

CHELSEY: 00:10:15

Like, I'll be like $2 short of the free shipping.

CHELSEY: 00:10:19

Right?

CHELSEY: 00:10:19

And then I'm like, well, is it worth it for me to spend like $6 for shipping?

CHELSEY: 00:10:26

Or like, would I prefer that $6 in the form of an item?

CHELSEY: 00:10:30

And now I have to scour your site for like an $8 item in order to really make this math work out.

CHELSEY: 00:10:37

And then I'm probably going to get something that I don't need.

CHELSEY: 00:10:41

And I just think, why can't we just give free shipping?

CHELSEY: 00:10:44

Like, I don't like free shipping minimums.

CHELSEY: 00:10:46

I feel like they're manipulative.

CHELSEY: 00:10:48

I think they're doing it on purpose.

CHELSEY: 00:10:49

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:10:50

Just stop it with this.

CHELSEY: 00:10:52

Do you have this problem?

CHELSEY: 00:10:53

Like when you're like a dollar away?

TREY: 00:10:55

I've noticed it with just minimums.

TREY: 00:10:57

Like when you're getting food delivery, like take out.

CHELSEY: 00:10:59

Exactly.

TREY: 00:11:01

It happens a lot where it's like.

TREY: 00:11:03

I have noticed many times you'll always be like a dollar to 75 cents off.

TREY: 00:11:10

And the cheapest thing is like a side of rice or like a side of broccoli.

TREY: 00:11:15

And that's always like going to put you up like $5.

TREY: 00:11:19

Like I do think that if someone is being strategic about this.

CHELSEY: 00:11:22

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:11:22

It's definitely strategic.

CHELSEY: 00:11:23

Also.

CHELSEY: 00:11:24

Like I wish that they could keep track in a day.

CHELSEY: 00:11:28

Like my, you know, I have a new puppy, so I'll go on chewy.com and they'll have minimums

CHELSEY: 00:11:42

So then I want to just order that one thing.

CHELSEY: 00:11:44

But I can't because I have to fill up my cart and I just feel like I've

CHELSEY: 00:11:52

You're you don't, you could put it all in the same box.

CHELSEY: 00:11:55

Why?

CHELSEY: 00:11:55

Why, Why!

CHELSEY: 00:11:58

I'm lodging a complaint.

TREY: 00:11:59

You know, complaint heard.

CHELSEY: 00:12:01

Thank you.

TREY: 00:12:02

That is such a like common occurrence complaint.

TREY: 00:12:05

Like I have felt the same frustrations before, so I appreciate you voicing it.

CHELSEY: 00:12:10

Well, thank you.

CHELSEY: 00:12:10

I feel better now that they got that off my chest.

TREY: 00:12:14

I think I feel okay.

TREY: 00:12:15

I feel like maybe I could have spelled out Leviti-Gifts stronger, but regardless, let's

TREY: 00:12:24

How do you feel about that?

CHELSEY: 00:12:25

I feel great about that.

CHELSEY: 00:12:26

As you guys already know, if you're listening to episode 10, we are your trusty Review Queens.

CHELSEY: 00:12:33

We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

TREY: 00:12:37

We read you the review, we break it down and then we rate the impact of the

TREY: 00:12:43

It's a very Regal process that we like to call

VOICEOVER: 00:12:46

Assess That Kvetch!

TREY: 00:12:49

And kvetch means complaint.

CHELSEY: 00:12:51

Uh, I'm kvelling, Trey!

CHELSEY: 00:12:54

You're Yiddish.

CHELSEY: 00:12:55

It gets better every week.

CHELSEY: 00:12:56

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:12:57

Who is first today?

TREY: 00:12:59

You are, my gorgeous RQ.

CHELSEY: 00:13:02

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:13:03

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:13:03

I'm first God.

CHELSEY: 00:13:04

Like I feel like my heart always starts to be whenever I realized that I am first, but yeah.

TREY: 00:13:09

You know what?

TREY: 00:13:10

You don't have to, you don't have to have an increased heartbeat because the worst that

TREY: 00:13:18

And then, you know what, then you take a breath and who cares?

TREY: 00:13:22

We're here to have fun.

CHELSEY: 00:13:23

You're right.

CHELSEY: 00:13:23

We are here for fun.

VOICEOVER: 00:13:26

Review That Review.

CHELSEY: 00:13:30

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:13:31

My review this week is from Google.

CHELSEY: 00:13:35

It is a one-star review of Mav Lash in California.

CHELSEY: 00:13:40

This review is written by Jodi B.

CHELSEY: 00:13:44

I've been debating writing this for hours, but every time I walk

CHELSEY: 00:13:53

I wanted to be kind, but I'm really disappointed in my entire experience.

CHELSEY: 00:13:58

I did a lot of searching for what I wanted and who I should go to before booking my appointment.

CHELSEY: 00:14:04

But I have to admit how wrong I was.

CHELSEY: 00:14:08

My appointment was for a mixed set.

CHELSEY: 00:14:11

I picked this because I have naturally decent length lashes, but wanted them to

CHELSEY: 00:14:21

A set I can roll out without needing to wear mascara and liner makeup every day.

CHELSEY: 00:14:28

When I arrived, the tech called my name, but didn't introduce herself or anything.

CHELSEY: 00:14:33

I told the receptionist, and her, that I've never had lashes before.

CHELSEY: 00:14:38

And she asked to see some photos of what I wanted.

CHELSEY: 00:14:41

The pics we looked at were from the Mav Lash Instagram.

CHELSEY: 00:14:45

I pointed out what I liked and she said, 'so more natural' to which I agreed and also pointed

CHELSEY: 00:14:56

I told her I didn't want anything doll eyed or too lush.

CHELSEY: 00:15:00

I thought we were on the same page and I paid down and she began.

CHELSEY: 00:15:06

After about two hours, she finished.

CHELSEY: 00:15:09

And I asked to use the restroom before checking out.

CHELSEY: 00:15:13

Once in the bathroom, I took a glance in the mirror and was shocked.

CHELSEY: 00:15:18

They were so long and looked like one of those dolls that eyes close when you lay

CHELSEY: 00:15:34

When I came out, I immediately told her.

CHELSEY: 00:15:37

Her response was that she couldn't do anything about the length unless you took

CHELSEY: 00:15:45

I was devastated as I tried to ask what we could do.

CHELSEY: 00:15:49

She offered to take some of the fullness out of one that was heavier than the other.

CHELSEY: 00:15:55

I agreed to that, but honestly, didn't see much of a difference.

CHELSEY: 00:15:59

At that point I just wanted to leave.

CHELSEY: 00:16:02

I was hungry and really upset, but trying to still be nice.

CHELSEY: 00:16:06

I was hoping once I put on mascara on my lower lashes, that it would offset everything.

CHELSEY: 00:16:13

Now that I'm home, the mascara didn't help at all.

CHELSEY: 00:16:16

So I washed my face and literally a quarter of them fell right out.

CHELSEY: 00:16:22

I don't know if it's my face wash or what, since I was given no care

CHELSEY: 00:16:28

I'm getting really irritated that I paid close to $200 for this.

CHELSEY: 00:16:33

They look awful and I'm at the point of just pulling them all off myself in the morning.

CHELSEY: 00:16:39

Big disappointment.

CHELSEY: 00:16:41

Waste of my money, and very unhappy with how the tech handled it all.

CHELSEY: 00:16:46

My tech was Gensine.

TREY: 00:16:52

Is that the name?

TREY: 00:16:53

Gensine?

CHELSEY: 00:16:55

Yes.

CHELSEY: 00:16:56

G E N S I N E.

CHELSEY: 00:16:58

Would you pronounce that another way?

TREY: 00:17:00

No, I just didn't know if that was like a millennial term or something.

CHELSEY: 00:17:04

Oh, good, good clarification.

TREY: 00:17:06

Wow.

TREY: 00:17:07

Okay.

TREY: 00:17:07

Jodi B...

TREY: 00:17:10

wait, have you ever had eyelash extensions?

CHELSEY: 00:17:13

Not like the kind of eyelash extensions like this that are meant to last a long time?

CHELSEY: 00:17:19

I think for my sister's wedding, we did the, you know, like the makeup artists did the

CHELSEY: 00:17:30

So nothing like this.

TREY: 00:17:31

Right.

TREY: 00:17:32

Those are like little wispies.

CHELSEY: 00:17:33

Yes.

TREY: 00:17:35

Cause I have two friends that have had like these long-term eyelash extensions put on.

CHELSEY: 00:17:40

Yeah.

TREY: 00:17:41

And I know that at least with those two girls it's commonplace that

CHELSEY: 00:17:49

fall off?

TREY: 00:17:49

Yeah, yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:17:51

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:17:51

I had that thought too, like when she said a quarter of them fell off,

CHELSEY: 00:17:57

Like, is it one of those things where it sort of sheds after a while?

CHELSEY: 00:18:01

And then it starts to look more natural?

CHELSEY: 00:18:03

I honestly don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:18:04

And neither does Jodi.

TREY: 00:18:07

Uh, I, you know, I have a lot of thoughts here.

TREY: 00:18:09

It's interesting to me.

TREY: 00:18:11

Jodi B mentions that they have decent length eyelashes to begin with.

TREY: 00:18:15

So then my question is, well then why are you getting the service.

TREY: 00:18:20

I understand that there's like a middle ground.

TREY: 00:18:22

Like, you don't want to be a drag queen, but like you want it to look more full and natural.

TREY: 00:18:27

But yeah, but to me, I feel like that line is so specific to each individual that

CHELSEY: 00:18:44

Everybody's got one.

TREY: 00:18:46

Everybody's got one as Joe Kinosian beautifully wrote.

TREY: 00:18:49

But like, to me, I don't know.

TREY: 00:18:51

I feel like if I do think that there's like, um, a judgment snap that people might have,

CHELSEY: 00:19:03

I mean, like, I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:19:04

I guess I'm less worried about the judgment snap.

CHELSEY: 00:19:06

Cause I figured it's just like, if you want it, like you rock it, you rock it.

CHELSEY: 00:19:10

But I think everybody looks better with a little mascara, you know?

CHELSEY: 00:19:13

And so I can understand saying like, oh, like it would be nice to have a little something extra

CHELSEY: 00:19:34

She pulled things specifically from their Instagram.

CHELSEY: 00:19:37

Like not another, not like random Instagram, like here's an example of work that

CHELSEY: 00:19:44

And then the person said like, oh, okay, I get it.

CHELSEY: 00:19:47

Like, you want something more natural?

TREY: 00:19:49

Not doll-like!

CHELSEY: 00:19:50

Like not doll-like specifically, and you know, maybe like a little bit of

CHELSEY: 00:19:57

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:19:58

I feel for, cause when I, I mean, this is a little bit of a non-sequitur, but when I was

CHELSEY: 00:20:04

Cause my sister was a blonde and she got highlights when she was younger and I

CHELSEY: 00:20:10

And I begged my mom to let me get highlights when I was in middle school and she'd begrudgingly

CHELSEY: 00:20:23

And I just remember being completely devastated, like that feeling of, of getting

CHELSEY: 00:20:37

Cause it's like, it's a weird thing.

CHELSEY: 00:20:38

You're like, what do I do?

CHELSEY: 00:20:40

Like how do I, how do I manage this?

CHELSEY: 00:20:42

Like I am upset and yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:20:44

I think that when you get services like that, you should be able to tell them

CHELSEY: 00:20:51

I just wish that, I mean, they didn't show her a mirror along the way.

CHELSEY: 00:20:55

Like, it just seems like in the two hour period that she, and again, I've never had

CHELSEY: 00:21:00

But during the, like, usually when you get your haircut or you get something

CHELSEY: 00:21:04

Like, is this you want it a little short?

CHELSEY: 00:21:06

Or do you want it a little longer?

CHELSEY: 00:21:07

Like, why weren't they checking in with her?

TREY: 00:21:09

I had that question too, because two hours is so long and also like, cause I

CHELSEY: 00:21:18

Check in after one eye and then it's like, oh, if we have to completely pivot, then

TREY: 00:21:26

And I would think that the technician is at fault for that.

CHELSEY: 00:21:30

Yeah, I do!

CHELSEY: 00:21:31

The fact that she had to go to the bathroom to see what was happening.

CHELSEY: 00:21:36

That's weird to me.

CHELSEY: 00:21:38

Isn't it weird?

TREY: 00:21:39

It is weird, also, conversely, because I've also been in a situation where like, now it's very

TREY: 00:21:53

And all I thought was, I look like Rosie O'Donnell and it was like, so upsetting.

TREY: 00:21:57

So, I understand when you get something done that does not feel like you and you have to face it.

TREY: 00:22:04

That's that is like very.

TREY: 00:22:06

Confronting and upsetting.

TREY: 00:22:08

So like I'm not judging that, but to me, I feel like eyelashes are so much less

CHELSEY: 00:22:15

Yes.

CHELSEY: 00:22:16

And no.

CHELSEY: 00:22:16

Like it's on your face, you know what I mean?

CHELSEY: 00:22:18

Like

TREY: 00:22:18

Eyes are the heart of the soul or whatever.

CHELSEY: 00:22:20

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:22:21

Like with a haircut you can put a hat on, I guess worst comes to worse.

CHELSEY: 00:22:24

Well, couldn't you put sunglasses?.

TREY: 00:22:26

Right.

TREY: 00:22:27

That's what I was going say.

CHELSEY: 00:22:28

I guess.

CHELSEY: 00:22:28

But like, I mean, a hat is a 24 hour item, a sunglass, like, you know, you look

CHELSEY: 00:22:36

So..

TREY: 00:22:37

I, I do think that close to $200 is crazy.

TREY: 00:22:39

Especially if a quarter of them fell out.

TREY: 00:22:41

Like with the first time you washed.

TREY: 00:22:43

We're assuming that Jodi was not scrubbing and rubbing and freaking out

CHELSEY: 00:22:48

Which she might have been.

TREY: 00:22:50

Possibly.

TREY: 00:22:51

But you know what I mean?

TREY: 00:22:53

Here we are.

TREY: 00:22:54

Two of us.

TREY: 00:22:55

So neither of us have ever had this done.

TREY: 00:22:57

So odds are, you're probably going to encounter people that are novices to this process.

TREY: 00:23:03

So you would imagine that there would be a little conversation, especially when

TREY: 00:23:10

This is what I like.

TREY: 00:23:11

This is what I don't like, that you would assume there would be a check-in and

TREY: 00:23:17

It's not safe for me to trim these, but like we have to redo everything.

TREY: 00:23:21

Like that just seems obvious to me.

TREY: 00:23:23

So like, I don't fault the salon for that, but I do question why there was not a check-in.

TREY: 00:23:28

So, that would have like a little bit of, um, that would have a little, little lasting impact on me.

CHELSEY: 00:23:34

I agree.

CHELSEY: 00:23:34

Like, I don't understand why they didn't didn't give her instructions when she left.

CHELSEY: 00:23:37

It seems quite obvious to have a whole process that she was like a novice and

CHELSEY: 00:23:45

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:23:46

It just seems it definitely.

CHELSEY: 00:23:48

I want to validate Jodi B.

CHELSEY: 00:23:49

Cause it seems like some things were not handled properly.

TREY: 00:23:53

And I love that Jodi, it starts this by saying, I admit that I chose the mixed length

TREY: 00:24:04

They come, they don't start out being a victim.

TREY: 00:24:06

They don't say like, they were horrible to me.

TREY: 00:24:09

They say like, I might have mistakenly chosen the length, but I'm new with this.

CHELSEY: 00:24:13

Yeah, totally.

CHELSEY: 00:24:14

And like also that she was like, I've been debating writing this for hours, but every

CHELSEY: 00:24:22

Like I just, I, I kind of like, I feel for Jodi, like that sucks.

CHELSEY: 00:24:27

Like when you do something like this, you're doing it because you want to feel better about

CHELSEY: 00:24:37

And the fact that she did this and had the opposite reaction personally,

CHELSEY: 00:24:46

Like when I'm doing like laser on the face or like eyebrows or something like that.

CHELSEY: 00:24:51

I think I do pay a lot of attention to the reviews with stuff like that.

CHELSEY: 00:24:55

And I would definitely second guess whether or not I was going to go to

TREY: 00:25:01

That's interesting.

TREY: 00:25:01

What was the spelling and grammar like?

CHELSEY: 00:25:04

There were a lot of little mistakes.

CHELSEY: 00:25:06

It wasn't perfect.

CHELSEY: 00:25:07

It was long.

CHELSEY: 00:25:08

So she had a lot, to say, but there were little, like she said...

TREY: 00:25:14

Did you say paid down instead of laid?

CHELSEY: 00:25:16

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:25:17

So, she said I paid down and she began.

CHELSEY: 00:25:19

I mean, I'm assuming she meant that she like sat down.

CHELSEY: 00:25:22

I don't really know how that happens with autocorrect, but...

TREY: 00:25:24

I think they do lay you down though.

TREY: 00:25:26

Like...

CHELSEY: 00:25:26

Oh, maybe "laid down".

CHELSEY: 00:25:28

Oh yeah, that makes sense.

TREY: 00:25:31

But Jodi B has been crying, you know, they didn't have time to like go through

CHELSEY: 00:25:37

Corect, her eyes I'm sure were swollen.

CHELSEY: 00:25:39

I mean, they'd been like poked and prodded and now cried.

CHELSEY: 00:25:42

And washed and

TREY: 00:25:45

Not very humor...

TREY: 00:25:46

there wasn't a lot of humor here.

CHELSEY: 00:25:48

No, I, I mean, this was not a humorous, review.

CHELSEY: 00:25:51

This was, I think like a heartfelt, emotional dump in a way.

CHELSEY: 00:25:56

I feel like she's talking directly to the other people that also, maybe haven't

CHELSEY: 00:26:06

Like, I didn't really know what I wanted, but I thought I did research.

CHELSEY: 00:26:09

I thought I provided like photographic examples of what I wanted and, you

CHELSEY: 00:26:18

And I think that as someone that's newer to this, like I would be listening.

CHELSEY: 00:26:23

I'm listening to you, Jodi B for sure.

TREY: 00:26:25

Yeah.

TREY: 00:26:25

I think I can crown this.

CHELSEY: 00:26:27

Okay, let's crown it.

TREY: 00:26:27

All right.

TREY: 00:26:28

So in an effort to be fair, Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards.

TREY: 00:26:34

We will reveal our scores simultaneously so that we will not be impacted by the others review.

VOICEOVER: 00:26:43

The Queens are Tabulating.

TREY: 00:26:45

All right.

TREY: 00:26:46

You ready?

CHELSEY: 00:26:46

I'm ready.

VOICEOVER: 00:26:52

Total score!

CHELSEY: 00:26:53

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:26:54

Interesting.

CHELSEY: 00:26:55

Trey is holding up three crowns and I am holding up four crowns.

CHELSEY: 00:26:59

Trey, tell us about your three crowns.

TREY: 00:27:02

Okay.

TREY: 00:27:02

So I chose three, very middle of the road, because I do actually very much believe Jodi B.

TREY: 00:27:08

I appreciate that they expressed where they felt they were responsible and were, you

TREY: 00:27:16

Not a lot of humor doesn't matter because that doesn't really affect my score that much.

TREY: 00:27:21

Uh, especially when it's very emotional.

TREY: 00:27:22

And I do believe the person Spelling is all over the place.

TREY: 00:27:26

You know, I, I did think that this is valuable.

TREY: 00:27:29

Only because I've never had this done.

TREY: 00:27:32

And so if I was going to, I would take from the review that I need to really spell out: okay.

TREY: 00:27:38

Y'all I need to check in with you this entire Orocess.

TREY: 00:27:41

I don't want to come out of here looking like a clown.

TREY: 00:27:43

Like let's be serious, although I am a drag queen lover.

TREY: 00:27:46

And so give me a 301.

TREY: 00:27:48

Give me crazy, crazy, crazy raccoon eyelashes.

TREY: 00:27:51

I love that.

TREY: 00:27:52

Look, I think nothing is more chic, but that isn't what Jodi wanted.

TREY: 00:27:55

And she seems to have felt...

TREY: 00:27:57

Jodi.

TREY: 00:27:58

They felt that that's what they walked out with.

TREY: 00:28:00

And so for that reason, the impact is I think I, um, I would, I would feel more armed with needing

TREY: 00:28:11

And so, for that reason, I gave it three.

TREY: 00:28:14

I gave it three.

TREY: 00:28:15

What about you?

CHELSEY: 00:28:16

I gave it four, which, as you know, for me as a pretty high score.

CHELSEY: 00:28:19

So I was a little bit surprised myself.

CHELSEY: 00:28:22

I was also...

CHELSEY: 00:28:23

I was alsolating between three and a half and four, to be honest, I was just putting myself in

CHELSEY: 00:28:41

And I appreciate her sharing her experience with me.

CHELSEY: 00:28:44

I took off also, you know, a crown for lack of humor and, the spelling

CHELSEY: 00:28:52

I thought about taking off another half crown because of what you said, like,

CHELSEY: 00:28:57

So maybe if I had done this all the time, I would feel differently.

CHELSEY: 00:29:00

Like I'm not that knowledgeable in the subject matter.

CHELSEY: 00:29:03

So, maybe that's worth a half crown if somebody else is like, oh, she should

CHELSEY: 00:29:10

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:29:10

But that's why I gave it him four because I believed her.

CHELSEY: 00:29:12

I believed it was honest.

CHELSEY: 00:29:14

And I think that I would definitely do a little bit more research before I would go to this place.

CHELSEY: 00:29:19

And maybe even before I would do this at all, so.

CHELSEY: 00:29:22

four crowns.

TREY: 00:29:23

Well said.

CHELSEY: 00:29:24

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:29:25

Thanks.

TREY: 00:29:25

All right.

TREY: 00:29:26

Sorry, Jodi B, I hope that it all works out for you

CHELSEY: 00:29:28

I'm sure they're out by now.

CHELSEY: 00:29:30

When did, when did Jodi B write this review?

CHELSEY: 00:29:33

A year ago!

CHELSEY: 00:29:34

So, um, I, I hope she's recovered.

TREY: 00:29:37

I wish Jodi B had submitted images so that I could take a look.

CHELSEY: 00:29:40

True.

CHELSEY: 00:29:41

Can you, I can't remember if you can submit images on Google reviews.

CHELSEY: 00:29:44

You can right?

TREY: 00:29:45

I think so.

CHELSEY: 00:29:46

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:29:47

Well,

TREY: 00:29:47

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:29:48

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:29:49

Okay.

TREY: 00:29:49

Well, Godspeed, Jodi B.

CHELSEY: 00:29:50

Yeah, best of luck to you.

TREY: 00:29:53

All right.

TREY: 00:29:53

Let's take a quick break.

TREY: 00:29:54

And then when we come back, we can get into my review of the week.

CHELSEY: 00:29:57

Oh my God.

CHELSEY: 00:29:58

Can't wait.

VOICEOVER: 00:30:01

Hold your crown.

VOICEOVER: 00:30:02

We'll be right back.

TREY: 00:30:26

It's game time.

TREY: 00:30:28

All right, Chels, Chels, it's time for us to take a quick little spin on the

CHELSEY: 00:30:48

I like the fact that this could be like a glowing, like night.

CHELSEY: 00:30:51

Fantastic Meryl-Go-Round.

CHELSEY: 00:30:54

I think that that's nice.

CHELSEY: 00:30:55

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:30:56

So here's the deal.

CHELSEY: 00:30:58

Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing pithy one-star zinger and with

TREY: 00:31:10

Just like our Queen Meryl, who does it all!

CHELSEY: 00:31:13

Before the clock runs out.

TREY: 00:31:15

So this week, I have a one-star zinger from Google reviews for the Smile Direct

TREY: 00:31:29

And this is from Rachel T who says, please see a dental professional for orthodontic treatment.

TREY: 00:31:35

This needs to be monitored by a professional.

CHELSEY: 00:31:38

Hmm, I have to agree.

TREY: 00:31:42

Same.

CHELSEY: 00:31:43

All right, Trey.

CHELSEY: 00:31:43

Are you ready?

TREY: 00:31:45

I am ready!

TREY: 00:31:47

Gonna hop on!

CHELSEY: 00:31:48

Let's get started.

CHELSEY: 00:31:54

Please see, I've done a professional before I tell them to treat, man, this needs to be a

CHELSEY: 00:31:59

. Hey Michelle.

CHELSEY: 00:32:02

See a dental professional for orthodontic treatment that this needs to be

VOICEOVER: 00:32:19

super hero.

TREY: 00:32:21

I see it on professional.

CHELSEY: 00:32:25

I'm going to give you Superhero only because you were...

TREY: 00:32:28

I did my arms?

CHELSEY: 00:32:29

You were doing the most, like you didn't short end that at all, the opera

CHELSEY: 00:32:38

So I'm going to give that to you.

CHELSEY: 00:32:39

That's 1, 2, 3 that's 4 Trey.

CHELSEY: 00:32:43

Good job for a kind of long zinger.

TREY: 00:32:46

I know, I knew that it was like pushing, being pithy, but I just thought

TREY: 00:32:53

Okay, Chelsey, what is your, one star zinger for today?

CHELSEY: 00:32:56

That's a great question.

CHELSEY: 00:32:58

Trey.

CHELSEY: 00:32:59

My one star zinger is from RateMyProfessor.

CHELSEY: 00:33:03

It is for an economics professor at NYU written by ECONUA1 and it says terrible.

CHELSEY: 00:33:15

Absolutely terrible.

VOICEOVER: 00:33:17

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:33:18

That's it.

TREY: 00:33:19

This is going to be fun.

TREY: 00:33:20

All right.

TREY: 00:33:21

Are you ready to jump on?

CHELSEY: 00:33:23

Yes, I am ready.

TREY: 00:33:27

Teen drama.

CHELSEY: 00:33:29

Terrible.

CHELSEY: 00:33:30

Absolutely terrible

TREY: 00:33:32

magic show.

TREY: 00:33:34

Terrible,

CHELSEY: 00:33:35

absolutely terrible

TREY: 00:33:38

melodrama.

VOICEOVER: 00:33:41

Absolutely

TREY: 00:33:43

true crime documentary.

TREY: 00:33:46

Terrible.

TREY: 00:33:47

Absolutely

VOICEOVER: 00:33:51

terrible.

CHELSEY: 00:33:52

Absolutely terrible

TREY: 00:33:54

lifetime heroin.

CHELSEY: 00:33:57

Absolutely terrible.

CHELSEY: 00:33:58

I don't know they were all the same.

CHELSEY: 00:34:01

They were all.

CHELSEY: 00:34:01

That's how I always feel every time I do this.

CHELSEY: 00:34:03

So I'm like, I don't know the difference between lifetime and teen drama.

CHELSEY: 00:34:07

We did this to ourselves!

TREY: 00:34:08

When you did the magic, you did abracadabra hands.

TREY: 00:34:13

So I think that doesn't matter.

TREY: 00:34:15

It was, it was stimulating me.

TREY: 00:34:17

So this is six.

TREY: 00:34:18

You got six my Queen.

CHELSEY: 00:34:20

Thank you.

CHELSEY: 00:34:21

Wow

TREY: 00:34:22

Six versus four.

TREY: 00:34:23

Girl.

TREY: 00:34:25

You're the Queen.

CHELSEY: 00:34:25

I'm the Queen.

CHELSEY: 00:34:27

I'm the Queen!

CHELSEY: 00:34:30

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:34:31

I lost everything when I was a kid to my sister.

CHELSEY: 00:34:33

My sister would like, she was just very competitive and she would beat me at everything.

CHELSEY: 00:34:39

And so it's just sort of, it tickles me that, that I get to be a winner because

CHELSEY: 00:34:46

I was like, go ahead and win.

CHELSEY: 00:34:47

If it's not important to you, you know?

TREY: 00:34:49

Well, you never have to give up cause you're exceedingly great at this game.

TREY: 00:34:52

So congratulations.

CHELSEY: 00:34:54

Thanks Trey.

CHELSEY: 00:34:54

You're great too.

TREY: 00:34:56

Meh.

VOICEOVER: 00:35:01

Review that Review.

CHELSEY: 00:35:05

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:35:05

Hey, we are back from that rousing game break, and now it is your turn, Trey.

CHELSEY: 00:35:11

Where is your review from this week?

TREY: 00:35:14

Oh boy.

TREY: 00:35:15

All right.

TREY: 00:35:16

So this week I have a special review that was sent to me by a friend that

TREY: 00:35:25

This is from Yelp.

CHELSEY: 00:35:28

Okay.

TREY: 00:35:28

It is a two star review for a restaurant called Splash at the Boat

TREY: 00:35:39

This is from Craig N.

TREY: 00:35:42

I hate to give a joint two stars, but I simply couldn't ignore what

TREY: 00:35:50

I'll get to that in a moment.

TREY: 00:35:52

Backing up.

TREY: 00:35:54

My hot blonde German wife, and I decided to meet the best pilot I ever flew with.

TREY: 00:36:01

My buddy, Jeff and his wife, including their Chihuahua decided to fly their sea

TREY: 00:36:12

I thought what a better place for them to dock their $2.5 million machine but right there.

TREY: 00:36:20

After they got a ton of attention from this fly by and flawless landing, they joined us

TREY: 00:36:31

Let me tell you the positives first, our server was super awesome and our

TREY: 00:36:38

You know, it set the stage for a great night.

TREY: 00:36:41

We had about three rounds a piece, but to my astonishment, my best bud, Jeff downed

TREY: 00:36:56

Just a quick side note, Jeff, all caps hates seafood and has a reaction to it, but

TREY: 00:37:09

So it was when we were told this by our awesome wait staff dot dot dot, bless her heart.

TREY: 00:37:15

My wife wanted to have the haddock, but asked if she could have it blackened.

TREY: 00:37:21

It was to all of us or utmost astonishment that we were explained that all fish

TREY: 00:37:32

Being that my bud Jeff is also a math wi, knowing what time it was that evening quickly

TREY: 00:37:50

Excel himself.

TREY: 00:37:52

I digress.

TREY: 00:37:54

Immediately, Jeff's reaction to the seafood news, set his stomach on a whirlwind worse

TREY: 00:38:05

Jeff started throwing up in his mouth.

TREY: 00:38:08

Not once, but twice.

TREY: 00:38:12

Olli, their Chihuahua, started barking frantically as he knew his owner was in trouble.

TREY: 00:38:18

And he was!

TREY: 00:38:20

Four exclamation marks.

TREY: 00:38:22

Jeff being the stud he is, got up and pretty much did a fifth grades first place standing long

TREY: 00:38:39

Poor Jeff for having that kind of reaction to being told that they cannot blacken fish because

TREY: 00:38:48

Bottom line, if you want fresh seafood, don't come here.

TREY: 00:38:54

Come here for the drinks, views, and service.

TREY: 00:38:56

That's it.

TREY: 00:38:58

By the way, since Jeff had too much to drink and was way too green, his wife flew them home.

TREY: 00:39:06

And she doesn't even have a license.

TREY: 00:39:09

Truth be told, she can out fly both Jeff and me!

TREY: 00:39:15

17 exclamation mark.

CHELSEY: 00:39:21

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:39:22

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:39:22

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:39:23

Wow.

TREY: 00:39:24

What the actual F?!

CHELSEY: 00:39:26

I mean, so much to unpack here with Craig N.

CHELSEY: 00:39:31

First of all, thank you to your friend who found this review.

TREY: 00:39:36

Marc.

CHELSEY: 00:39:37

Thank you, Marc.

CHELSEY: 00:39:38

For finding this, what a find.

CHELSEY: 00:39:40

Great job.

CHELSEY: 00:39:41

I kind of felt like I was on a scavenger hunt when this was going on, looking for the

CHELSEY: 00:39:51

Um, I just have, I know the weirdest details now about Craig's life and I

CHELSEY: 00:40:00

Also, like your friend was puking because he had a million whiskeys, like...

TREY: 00:40:07

Thank you!

CHELSEY: 00:40:09

It doesn't make any, it makes like no sense.

CHELSEY: 00:40:12

Like, first of all, yes, like that is gross if that's true.

CHELSEY: 00:40:15

That they prepare the fish in advance.

CHELSEY: 00:40:17

I can't imagine how that would be true.

CHELSEY: 00:40:20

Is that like, do you think that that's true?

TREY: 00:40:23

It can't, it can't be.

CHELSEY: 00:40:25

Like marinade it in advance.

CHELSEY: 00:40:27

Like I don't, like I like, um, Jeff, I also don't eat fish

TREY: 00:40:33

Me either.

CHELSEY: 00:40:34

Oh my God.

CHELSEY: 00:40:34

I love that about you.

CHELSEY: 00:40:36

Ugh.

CHELSEY: 00:40:37

Anyway, I digress as does Craig.

CHELSEY: 00:40:40

I mean, the only information Craig gave us about this restaurant was positive.

CHELSEY: 00:40:45

Right?

TREY: 00:40:46

I know.

TREY: 00:40:46

Right.

CHELSEY: 00:40:47

That's so weird.

CHELSEY: 00:40:48

What's the name of that restaurant again?

CHELSEY: 00:40:49

Oh Splash at the Boat House.

CHELSEY: 00:40:50

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:40:51

What a splash.

CHELSEY: 00:40:52

They had my goodness, God like such, just such pretentiousness.

CHELSEY: 00:40:57

I could puke,

TREY: 00:40:59

I mean, if I were to ever try to communicate the definition of the word douche,

TREY: 00:41:12

I feel so gross.

CHELSEY: 00:41:14

Agreed.

TREY: 00:41:15

Jeff must think that he is like Jeff Foxworthy.

TREY: 00:41:19

Like he thinks he's very funny.

TREY: 00:41:21

So there's a few like jokes in here, that just come off..

CHELSEY: 00:41:24

Wait, Jeff thinks he's funny or Craig thinks he's funny?

TREY: 00:41:27

Sorry.

TREY: 00:41:27

Craig.

TREY: 00:41:28

Right.

TREY: 00:41:29

Craig thinks he's a comedian.

CHELSEY: 00:41:30

Yes.

CHELSEY: 00:41:31

For sure.

TREY: 00:41:31

And what does that have to do with any like, no, one's going to get like

CHELSEY: 00:41:36

Very strange.

TREY: 00:41:38

Also what is the Chihuahua, Olli, have to do with anything?

CHELSEY: 00:41:43

And what is the fact that he has a hot blonde German wife has to do with anything?

CHELSEY: 00:41:46

He didn't even bring her up again.

CHELSEY: 00:41:48

It's like he introduced this character and then he just let her, like, what happened to the wife

TREY: 00:41:54

Also, why do we need to know that this plane they flew was $2.5 million.

CHELSEY: 00:42:00

Gross.

TREY: 00:42:01

I'm already hate you.

CHELSEY: 00:42:02

I already hate you.

CHELSEY: 00:42:03

And like, what is a perfect place to land so that everybody is watching you and

CHELSEY: 00:42:12

And didn't he start, I was confused.

CHELSEY: 00:42:14

He started in the beginning saying something about having the flight

CHELSEY: 00:42:21

And then he ends with the wife.

CHELSEY: 00:42:23

Are those, is that the same?

TREY: 00:42:25

So he's saying that he and his hot blonde German wife, Craig, decided to

TREY: 00:42:33

Who is Jeff.

CHELSEY: 00:42:35

Oh.

TREY: 00:42:35

So Craig and Jeff are both pilots.

CHELSEY: 00:42:38

Craig's a pilot?

TREY: 00:42:42

I think, oh, maybe he isn't a pilot, but he's the best pilot he

CHELSEY: 00:42:49

I think so.

CHELSEY: 00:42:50

But then, but then in the end he was like, he said the Jeff's wife flew the plane without a license.

TREY: 00:42:57

She can out fly both Jeff and me.

TREY: 00:42:59

So I do think,

CHELSEY: 00:43:00

Oh so then maybe he is a pilot?

CHELSEY: 00:43:02

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:43:02

He is gross.

CHELSEY: 00:43:04

I feel like this is like that, that Billy Madison quote, where they're like, I am

CHELSEY: 00:43:10

Like I, I really..

TREY: 00:43:12

Well on that note, I am not a math wiz, but Craig points out that

TREY: 00:43:22

But then uses the word astonishment, two or three times, to his astonishment, Jeff

TREY: 00:43:29

So that doesn't add up because if you had three rounds the whole time, but then he had five.

TREY: 00:43:35

So, and you were there before he was so what, three rounds of five?

TREY: 00:43:39

What's that?

CHELSEY: 00:43:40

Cause apparently Jeff drinks like a fish.

CHELSEY: 00:43:43

I think Jeff just drinks very fast.

TREY: 00:43:46

But Jeff throws up because of the way the fish has prepared.

TREY: 00:43:49

Not because he had five whiskey sours and was so like done that he

CHELSEY: 00:43:55

It doesn't make any sense because Craig is giving us all the details to

CHELSEY: 00:44:03

Like it's bizarre.

CHELSEY: 00:44:03

It's like, well, of course he threw up, he had five whiskey sours and like 20 minutes.

TREY: 00:44:10

I'm also curious, how do you throw up in your mouth twice?

TREY: 00:44:13

If you throw up in your mouth once aren't you going to then have to get it out?

TREY: 00:44:16

Like how do you then throw up and then throw up again in your mouth?

CHELSEY: 00:44:20

I imagined that it was like a w...w...

CHELSEY: 00:44:23

and then he like just was like, let me get outta here.

CHELSEY: 00:44:25

And also that poor body of water it's now covered in Jeff's puke.

CHELSEY: 00:44:29

Ugh.

CHELSEY: 00:44:31

Dis-gus-sting.

CHELSEY: 00:44:32

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:44:33

So also, like, I'm a little bit upset that this reviewer's name is Craig.

CHELSEY: 00:44:37

Cause my dad's name is Craig and obviously, like I had a lot more high hopes for Craig N just

CHELSEY: 00:44:47

Also he just like, he's all over the place.

CHELSEY: 00:44:49

Like he starts with like this, he calls it a joint.

CHELSEY: 00:44:53

Right?

CHELSEY: 00:44:54

And then bless her heart.

CHELSEY: 00:44:56

I remember that part.

TREY: 00:44:57

He is from Texas.

CHELSEY: 00:44:59

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:44:59

All right.

TREY: 00:45:00

It is funny to me because it says bottom line, if you want fresh seafood, all caps don't

CHELSEY: 00:45:08

Yeah.

TREY: 00:45:08

And they're telling us that it's not fresh because I think this waiter was

TREY: 00:45:14

Like, does it...

CHELSEY: 00:45:14

Doesn't make any sense.

TREY: 00:45:16

How do you prepare fish in the morning?

CHELSEY: 00:45:19

Yeah, no.

TREY: 00:45:20

It would be cold.

TREY: 00:45:21

Like how?

CHELSEY: 00:45:22

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:45:23

It just, it doesn't make any sense to me.

CHELSEY: 00:45:25

I'm not buying that this place would pre cook their fish and then what microwave it?

TREY: 00:45:32

Yeah.

TREY: 00:45:32

That doesn't make any sense.

TREY: 00:45:34

I feel like this whole review, Is so lacking in value because it's just sort

CHELSEY: 00:45:42

So gross.

CHELSEY: 00:45:43

Like I feel like Craig wrote this review so that on Monday he could like read it to his friends.

TREY: 00:45:51

I mean, I, hear that.

TREY: 00:45:52

I mean, it does feel like who brags about their friends, $2.5 million, anything.

TREY: 00:45:57

I mean, that's just so odd anyway, the spelling and the grammar is actually pretty fantastic.

TREY: 00:46:02

I wonder if Craig was like highly educated aside from being a pilot, which is

CHELSEY: 00:46:10

True.

CHELSEY: 00:46:10

I feel like I'm struggling as a Review Queen with the entertainment value,

CHELSEY: 00:46:19

Cause it was so ridiculous and over the top and crazy, and the details were like wackadoo.

CHELSEY: 00:46:26

And I, like I said, felt like I was on a scavenger hunt trying to figure out

CHELSEY: 00:46:32

Like when are we talking about Splash at the Boathouse?

CHELSEY: 00:46:34

Because like I missing it.

CHELSEY: 00:46:36

And so I'm like, do I attribute that entertainment to Craig for

CHELSEY: 00:46:44

Or is it that I was entertained because people like Craig exist and would feel the need to

CHELSEY: 00:46:56

On Yelp for some person to read and not have any, like, was that why I was laughing?

CHELSEY: 00:47:02

I don't know.

TREY: 00:47:03

Maybe Craig was drunk from the three rounds when they wrote this.

CHELSEY: 00:47:06

I did think that.

CHELSEY: 00:47:07

I did wonder about that.

CHELSEY: 00:47:09

I'm glad you brought that up because I was thinking the same thing.

CHELSEY: 00:47:11

I was like, I wonder if he was like hammered and writing this on the plane ride back.

TREY: 00:47:17

I guess.

TREY: 00:47:17

I just feel like, I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:47:20

What do you think?

CHELSEY: 00:47:20

Do you feel like we attribute the entertainment to Craig or are we entertained

TREY: 00:47:27

I think it's entertaining because it's ludicrous.

TREY: 00:47:29

Like it doesn't, it's completely invaluable to like, there's, there's nothing going on here,

TREY: 00:47:47

It's like, "Go away, like..."

CHELSEY: 00:47:49

bragging about this, what emotional support Chihuahua?

TREY: 00:47:53

But it has nothing to do with the restaurant.

TREY: 00:47:56

Like I think it was a miscommunication from the waiter that was misinterpreted.

TREY: 00:47:59

And I don't believe that Jeff threw up because of information.

TREY: 00:48:04

I mean maybe, but I also think he threw up because he was so loaded.

CHELSEY: 00:48:08

I think it's very obvious.

TREY: 00:48:10

Oh God.

TREY: 00:48:10

A whiskey sour.

CHELSEY: 00:48:11

Ugh!

CHELSEY: 00:48:12

And five in, in how long?

CHELSEY: 00:48:14

20 minutes?

CHELSEY: 00:48:15

Is that what he said?

TREY: 00:48:16

So gross.

TREY: 00:48:17

I think I could crown this.

CHELSEY: 00:48:18

I think I can crown it too, but before I crown it I just want to make sure

TREY: 00:48:38

Thank you, Marc!

VOICEOVER: 00:48:39

The Queens are Tabulating.

TREY: 00:48:43

Okay.

TREY: 00:48:44

Do you think you're ready?

CHELSEY: 00:48:45

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:48:46

I'm ready.

CHELSEY: 00:48:46

Are you ready?

TREY: 00:48:47

Oy, I'm ready.

VOICEOVER: 00:48:52

Total Score..

CHELSEY: 00:48:54

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:48:55

It is unanimous one crown from both of the Queens.

CHELSEY: 00:48:59

I feel like this is an example of like, you know, how everyone in the reality for you is

CHELSEY: 00:49:09

Like if I read this, I would be entertained and think it was funny, but it wouldn't,

TREY: 00:49:19

I mean, I still have the half and my other hand, cause I was debating between one and one and

TREY: 00:49:30

It's not a review of this restaurant.

CHELSEY: 00:49:33

Right.

TREY: 00:49:33

I do know that my friend Marc found this because they were going to this

TREY: 00:49:38

So I just think like,

CHELSEY: 00:49:40

Yeah, there's no way from reading this review, I would be like,

CHELSEY: 00:49:45

No, not impactful.

TREY: 00:49:48

No.

TREY: 00:49:48

I just, the entertainment was also the skeaze factor.

TREY: 00:49:52

So I just gave one, like, I'm sorry to Splash At The Boat House.

TREY: 00:49:57

This is attached to your company.

CHELSEY: 00:50:00

Agreed.

TREY: 00:50:01

Cuz Yeeks!

CHELSEY: 00:50:01

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:50:02

All right.

CHELSEY: 00:50:03

My Queens, we have reached the most Regal portion of our show.

CHELSEY: 00:50:07

All right.

CHELSEY: 00:50:07

Trey.

CHELSEY: 00:50:08

Who are you inducting for

VOICEOVER: 00:50:11

My Royal Highness.

TREY: 00:50:12

Okay.

TREY: 00:50:13

So my Royal Highness this week is a very, very powerful Hollywood woman, her name is I.

TREY: 00:50:19

Marlene King and she is the creator/showrunner of the hit television show that ran for

TREY: 00:50:29

I was thoroughly obsessed with this television show.

TREY: 00:50:33

I joined late.

TREY: 00:50:34

So I've binged a lot of it.

TREY: 00:50:35

Pretty Little Liars had some bumps, you know, I.

TREY: 00:50:39

Marlene King is famous for writing the film Now and Then,

CHELSEY: 00:50:45

Oh my God.

CHELSEY: 00:50:46

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:50:47

What a Queen!

TREY: 00:50:48

And had a meeting and was given the property Pretty Little Liars.

TREY: 00:50:53

It was their first attempt at writing a television show and lasted for seven years.

TREY: 00:50:59

I.

TREY: 00:50:59

Marlene King's intention was for it to run for five.

TREY: 00:51:03

And, uh, they were given a green light for two extra seasons and the show

TREY: 00:51:11

And so I.

TREY: 00:51:12

Marlene King was tasked with a very difficult situation of making

TREY: 00:51:19

And I think that I.

TREY: 00:51:20

Marlene King gets a lot of, not love in the world because a lot of the fandom

TREY: 00:51:28

Um, is that the right word?

CHELSEY: 00:51:30

I think so.

TREY: 00:51:31

I don't know.

TREY: 00:51:32

I made it up, um, I think still to this day, it's the number one

TREY: 00:51:38

Like no one has compared to that, but the fans were so into the show that it's

TREY: 00:51:45

And I do think that I.

TREY: 00:51:46

Marlene King was tasked with a very difficult job of keeping these mysteries going for so

TREY: 00:51:54

I have some, flaws that I have noticed, regardless I am inducting I.

TREY: 00:52:00

Marlene King because she really entertained so many people.

TREY: 00:52:06

She really made it cool to want to investigate dig, find clues, be

TREY: 00:52:15

And so for that reason, I am honoring you, I.

TREY: 00:52:18

Marlene King, as my Royal Highness.

TREY: 00:52:22

Thank you for entertaining.

TREY: 00:52:23

So many people.

TREY: 00:52:25

Myself included.

CHELSEY: 00:52:28

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:52:29

I had no idea!

TREY: 00:52:30

It might sound silly, but I like love.

TREY: 00:52:32

I even have an, a mug.

TREY: 00:52:33

I did a tour, like I went to Hollywood and did a Warner Brothers Studio Lot Tour, just so that

TREY: 00:52:43

I sent my headshots in a clear envelope asking casting to see me

TREY: 00:52:50

And I signed it.

TREY: 00:52:52

T R dash A Y because they're like they keep getting all these texts from an unknown person.

TREY: 00:52:58

A, I mean, I was that crazy.

TREY: 00:53:01

That crazy.

TREY: 00:53:02

I've loved Pretty Little Liars.

CHELSEY: 00:53:03

I didn't know this about you.

CHELSEY: 00:53:04

I love Now and Then though, so I like, I totally support this nomination.

TREY: 00:53:10

Okay.

TREY: 00:53:10

Enough.

TREY: 00:53:11

What about you?

TREY: 00:53:12

Who are you in ducting for My Royal Highness.

TREY: 00:53:14

Chels?

CHELSEY: 00:53:14

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:53:15

Well, I am inducting someone that is pretty special to both of us.

CHELSEY: 00:53:19

I'm going to do it, and I'm going to induct Emily Kratter because she deserves it.

CHELSEY: 00:53:25

Emily Kratter is the person that introduced Trey and I, none of this

CHELSEY: 00:53:31

She is the biggest cheerleader of both of us.

CHELSEY: 00:53:34

She is the first person to reach out, comment, you know, support us whenever

CHELSEY: 00:53:43

She's so busy and it has so much going on in her life.

CHELSEY: 00:53:46

And yet she still finds the time to compliment us and build us up and let

CHELSEY: 00:53:54

And she's amazing.

CHELSEY: 00:53:55

Also, Emily and I we've been playing phone tag for like 10 years and we do this really fun thing

CHELSEY: 00:54:11

And I just think that says a lot about her and our friendship and our commitment to being friends.

CHELSEY: 00:54:16

So Emily Kratter, I hope you love this because we love you so much.

CHELSEY: 00:54:20

And it is, I mean, it is beyond time that we induct you as Our Royal Highness.

CHELSEY: 00:54:26

I love you, Em.

TREY: 00:54:29

I mean, I fully concur.

TREY: 00:54:31

Yes, she is the female version of a mensh.

TREY: 00:54:34

She

CHELSEY: 00:54:35

is the biggest, the biggest, the best mensh.

CHELSEY: 00:54:37

I love it.

CHELSEY: 00:54:38

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:54:39

Well, we did it.

CHELSEY: 00:54:41

We're at the end of this episode,

VOICEOVER: 00:54:44

Listener Voicemail.

CHELSEY: 00:54:45

Oh, stop.

TREY: 00:54:47

Oh my goodness.

TREY: 00:54:48

All right.

TREY: 00:54:49

Today we have a Listener Voicemail that is so extreme that we have

TREY: 00:54:57

And here it is, Chelsey.

TREY: 00:54:59

Get ready.

CHELSEY: 00:55:00

I can't wait to hear it.

CHELSEY: 00:55:00

I'm scared.

VOICEOVER: 00:55:01

Hi, this is JoJo calling in with a review from Joshua A of Pieces

TREY: 00:55:12

So just for context here, Pieces Bar is a gay bar

CHELSEY: 00:55:17

in the west village.

TREY: 00:55:18

Yes, you got it.

VOICEOVERAnd it reads:

: 00:55:19

Pieces...of broken mirror.

VOICEOVERAnd it reads:

: 00:55:23

Yep.

VOICEOVERAnd it reads:

: 00:55:23

That's what was strewn everywhere as the bouncer pulled the lesbian slash ex-con out of the bar in

VOICEOVERAnd it reads:

: 00:55:32

And that was really when we knew it was time to leave.

VOICEOVERAnd it reads:

: 00:55:35

Pieces, as made apparent by their logo and uninspired theme night, is the quintessential

VOICEOVERAnd it reads:

: 00:55:52

Pushy patrons were so sweet as to help me drench my shirt in my own drink on a few instances.

VOICEOVERAnd it reads:

: 00:55:58

Which was fine, anyway, since my vodka soda may as well have been a glass of water,

VOICEOVERAnd it reads:

: 00:56:07

At least one of the doctors at the hospital might be hot.

VOICEOVERAnd it reads:

: 00:56:10

Cause you're certainly not going to find anyone mildly attractive here.

TREY: 00:56:14

No.

CHELSEY: 00:56:14

Oh!

VOICEOVER: 00:56:16

Scene!

CHELSEY: 00:56:16

My God!

VOICEOVER: 00:56:17

Do it one more time.

VOICEOVER: 00:56:18

So you have a second take

CHELSEY: 00:56:20

JoJo, we've heard it,

TREY: 00:56:22

We love JoJo!

CHELSEY: 00:56:24

JoJo, first of all, you don't need a second take.

CHELSEY: 00:56:27

That was such a good reading.

CHELSEY: 00:56:29

That was amazing.

CHELSEY: 00:56:30

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:56:31

I'm blown away.

CHELSEY: 00:56:32

We have the best listeners.

TREY: 00:56:34

I mean, that is a review from 2009!

TREY: 00:56:38

JoJo, have you just been sitting on this review and now you have the

TREY: 00:56:44

I have been to Pieces and, and it's just, you know, it is what it is.

TREY: 00:56:48

It's like, you go there and you get a drink and it's like, of course that's water down.

TREY: 00:56:52

That's like any bar you go to.

CHELSEY: 00:56:53

It's true, but also like high points on that review for entertainment.

CHELSEY: 00:56:57

Like I was thoroughly taken on a journey, entertained lots of imagery, the picture

TREY: 00:57:12

I also love Joshua, the reviewers, storytelling of the patrons

TREY: 00:57:20

Oh my God.

TREY: 00:57:20

Hilarious.

CHELSEY: 00:57:21

So funny.

TREY: 00:57:22

Thank you, Joshua.

TREY: 00:57:23

Thank you Jojo for bringing this.

CHELSEY: 00:57:26

What a queen.

CHELSEY: 00:57:27

And also like, I think I would crown Joshua pretty high.

CHELSEY: 00:57:31

Should we crown Joshua?

TREY: 00:57:33

Yeah, let's do it.

VOICEOVER: 00:57:38

Total Score.

CHELSEY: 00:57:40

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:57:40

Same.

CHELSEY: 00:57:40

Unanimous four crowns.

CHELSEY: 00:57:42

I had just took away one crown.

CHELSEY: 00:57:43

Cause like you said, like this is like kind of a like dive.

CHELSEY: 00:57:46

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:57:47

Our expectations should be pretty low.

CHELSEY: 00:57:49

If we go to this bar, we know why we're there, but high, high points on

TREY: 00:57:58

I took one crown away because I didn't really like the low blow of saying

TREY: 00:58:04

That's sort of like unnecessary doesn't have anything to do with like working, I guess.

TREY: 00:58:07

Well, I guess sometimes gay bars, bartenders have their very muscular shirtless

CHELSEY: 00:58:14

Don't think that's the M.O.

CHELSEY: 00:58:16

at Pieces though.

TREY: 00:58:17

No, no, but I, um, I do think that the chances of, um, like lesbian ex-con

CHELSEY: 00:58:27

I love it.

CHELSEY: 00:58:28

And that is why we love.

CHELSEY: 00:58:29

Jojo,

TREY: 00:58:31

Jojo, you get five crowns, Jojo.

CHELSEY: 00:58:33

Jojo gets five crowns without a doubt.

CHELSEY: 00:58:35

Ugh, if you don't have an agent already, we gotta sign you.

CHELSEY: 00:58:38

That was a great reading.

TREY: 00:58:39

And, Jojo was going to give us a second read, cuz JoJo's a Pro.

TREY: 00:58:42

So you know what?

TREY: 00:58:44

Kudos to Jojo.

TREY: 00:58:46

Okay, well, queen we did it.

TREY: 00:58:48

That's another round in the ear hole.

CHELSEY: 00:58:50

I hate when you say that!

TREY: 00:58:51

I hate it too.

CHELSEY: 00:58:52

We gotta think of a new one.

CHELSEY: 00:58:53

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:58:54

Thank you guys so much for joining us today.

CHELSEY: 00:58:56

If you like, what you heard, please tell a friend.

TREY: 00:58:59

If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

TREY: 00:59:02

If you want to be like Queen JoJo, hit up our voicemail box y'all it's 1-850-REVIEW-0.

TREY: 00:59:10

You can read us a review just like Jojo, or you can lodge your own complaint.

TREY: 00:59:14

Or I really would love if people would start calling in and leaving

CHELSEY: 00:59:22

You can follow us if you'd like, or if you would please @TheReviewQueens.

CHELSEY: 00:59:27

and I'm @ChelseyBD begrudgingly.

TREY: 00:59:30

And I do want to just clarify Chelsey spells her name.

TREY: 00:59:32

C H E L S E Y.

CHELSEY: 00:59:35

Correct.

TREY: 00:59:37

And I'm @TreyGerrald with two RS.

TREY: 00:59:41

Okay.

TREY: 00:59:43

You know, we have weird family members apparently.

TREY: 00:59:45

Anyway, please become a member of the Royal Court by joining our Patreon at

TREY: 00:59:58

Please go subscribe and watch

CHELSEY: 00:59:59

Yes and remember, ignore the haters.

CHELSEY: 01:00:02

You're a queen!

TREY: 01:00:04

Gender non-specific queen.

CHELSEY: 01:00:05

Obviously!

CHELSEY: 01:00:07

Bye!

TREY: 01:00:08

Watch out for broken mirror shards everywhere!

CHELSEY: 01:00:11

And lesbian ex-cons!

VOICEOVER: 01:00:13

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

VOICEOVER: 01:00:15

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty.

VOICEOVER: 01:00:18

Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by

VOICEOVER: 01:00:23

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe

CHELSEY: 01:00:30

Love it.

CHELSEY: 01:00:30

Bye.