Episode 3: Valley of the Dolls Audiobook / Times Square Olive Garden

THEME SONG: 00:00:02

Everybody's got an opinion.

THEME SONG: 00:00:05

Every Californian and Virginian.

THEME SONG: 00:00:08

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

THEME SONG: 00:00:12

Someone's gotta settle the score.

THEME SONG: 00:00:15

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

THEME SONG: 00:00:18

Who's views win, which ones lose.

THEME SONG: 00:00:21

Online haters are comin' for you!

THEME SONG: 00:00:25

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

TREY: 00:00:30

Hi!

CHELSEY: 00:00:31

Hi!

CHELSEY: 00:00:32

Oh My God.

CHELSEY: 00:00:32

I love that.

TREY: 00:00:33

I just, um, interrupted in the jingle to show this beautiful lion

TREY: 00:00:40

She's wearing a crown anyway.

TREY: 00:00:42

Uh, welcome to Review That Review.

TREY: 00:00:45

This is episode three of the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY: 00:00:49

...Reviews!

CHELSEY: 00:00:50

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

TREY: 00:01:01

Mmm-hmm, Yep.

TREY: 00:01:02

That's true.

TREY: 00:01:03

And that's - speaking right then - was Chelsey Donn!

CHELSEY: 00:01:06

And that's Trey Gerrald.

TREY: 00:01:08

and together we're:

VOICEOVER: 00:01:10

The Review Queens!

CHELSEY: 00:01:14

How's her your crown today.

CHELSEY: 00:01:16

Trey?

TREY: 00:01:16

You know, I opted for a Tiara.

TREY: 00:01:19

It just sort of felt right.

CHELSEY: 00:01:21

How's your week been?

TREY: 00:01:23

Wow!

TREY: 00:01:23

You know, honestly, it's been a really good week.

TREY: 00:01:26

I was fortunate to go visit my sister who lives in North Carolina.

CHELSEY: 00:01:32

That's right!

TREY: 00:01:32

She, yeah, she's very pregnant.

TREY: 00:01:34

She's due like in less than six weeks.

TREY: 00:01:36

And, um, her first child is about to become TWO!

TREY: 00:01:40

Well.

TREY: 00:01:41

He turns two in six weeks.

TREY: 00:01:44

So like her due date is literally, almost exactly his birthday.

CHELSEY: 00:01:47

Ugh!

TREY: 00:01:48

I know it's crazy.

CHELSEY: 00:01:49

That's scary.

CHELSEY: 00:01:50

I hope they don't have the same birthday.

TREY: 00:01:51

Yeah.

TREY: 00:01:52

She also hopes that as well.

TREY: 00:01:53

And then my mom's birthday is like a week before, so she's also hoping like

TREY: 00:01:59

Uh, yeah.

TREY: 00:02:00

I actually had a good week.

TREY: 00:02:02

What about, like what about you?

TREY: 00:02:03

How was your week?

CHELSEY: 00:02:04

I had a pretty good week.

CHELSEY: 00:02:06

I, you know, back in LA now as well.

CHELSEY: 00:02:10

So back in my home turf and back to doing a little bit of my freelance work and I had to plan

CHELSEY: 00:02:21

So that was.

CHELSEY: 00:02:22

Fun.

CHELSEY: 00:02:24

Also, there was, um, a bit of a like olive oil spill.

CHELSEY: 00:02:29

One of the kids knocked olive oil off the table.

CHELSEY: 00:02:31

And so there was shattered glass everywhere, which was a nightmare, but

CHELSEY: 00:02:37

So...

TREY: 00:02:38

When you said olive oil.

TREY: 00:02:39

My first thought was like Shelley Duvall.

TREY: 00:02:42

In the Popeye's movie.

TREY: 00:02:43

Why?

CHELSEY: 00:02:45

What do you mean?

TREY: 00:02:46

You said olive oil and instead of..

CHELSEY: 00:02:48

Oh!

CHELSEY: 00:02:48

Olive Oil!, like olive oil, the character "Olive Oil."

TREY: 00:02:51

Yeah, why did I think that?

CHELSEY: 00:02:53

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:02:53

Cause maybe you're just not expecting me to say that?

CHELSEY: 00:02:56

You were like, I don't know your mind was on Popeye.

TREY: 00:02:59

But I've never, like, I haven't thought of that movie in years.

CHELSEY: 00:03:02

I don't know, but it's like if you're going to spill glass terrible, but the

TREY: 00:03:09

Yeah, well, it's a very precious...

CHELSEY: 00:03:10

...yeah, it is.

CHELSEY: 00:03:11

It's a precious item.

CHELSEY: 00:03:14

It's not something you want to waste, but I'm fine.

CHELSEY: 00:03:16

I'm good.

CHELSEY: 00:03:17

All in all life is good.

CHELSEY: 00:03:20

LA is beautiful.

CHELSEY: 00:03:22

I can't really complain, but I'm sure we're gonna find a way to do it anyway.

TREY: 00:03:27

Oh, that sounds like a beautiful segue.

CHELSEY: 00:03:29

...to...

VOICEOVER: 00:03:30

Lodge A Complaint.

TREY: 00:03:32

Oh boy.

CHELSEY: 00:03:33

All right.

TREY: 00:03:33

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:03:33

Do you have something you want to complain about this week?

TREY: 00:03:36

Yeah.

TREY: 00:03:37

Okay.

TREY: 00:03:37

So I, this is sort of a tangent, but I am taking this platform to officially Lodge A

CHELSEY: 00:03:48

Mmmmm!

TREY: 00:03:48

Okay.

TREY: 00:03:49

So I, at my sister's house, I took on the task of making the Spanish rice when

TREY: 00:03:57

And it was a box of Rice-A-Roni, which I don't, I think I've never in...

CHELSEY: 00:04:01

San Francisco Treat!

... TREY: 00:04:01

my life, okay.

... TREY: 00:04:03

Hello.

... TREY: 00:04:04

I haven't purchased Rice-A-Roni like, I don't think ever actually but I.

... TREY: 00:04:10

Like you just did.

... TREY: 00:04:11

I was emptying the box and I was like, "Rice-A-Roni, San Francisco treat!"

... TREY: 00:04:16

And then I could not get it out of my head.

CHELSEY: 00:04:19

Awwwwww!

TREY: 00:04:21

And then my sister, like I mentioned it, my sister and I have this like running

TREY: 00:04:28

I never saw it until I lived in New York, but It's like a bunch of people on a city bus and

TREY: 00:04:38

And there's like a lawyer.

TREY: 00:04:40

And then there's like a mom and whatever, but it's like, "When you have a structured

TREY: 00:04:47

Call J G Wentworth!

TREY: 00:04:50

Eight

BOTH!: 00:04:50

Eight seven seven Cash-NOW!

TREY: 00:04:53

Wait,

CHELSEY: 00:04:53

I remember that.

TREY: 00:04:54

Wait, You remember it from like New Jersey or like from LA.

CHELSEY: 00:04:58

I think it was an east coast thing, but I definitely remember it

TREY: 00:05:05

Have you ever heard the Carmel jingle?

CHELSEY: 00:05:07

Carmel?

CHELSEY: 00:05:08

Remind me...

TREY: 00:05:08

It's like a car service.

TREY: 00:05:09

It really...

CHELSEY: 00:05:10

oh.

TREY: 00:05:10

...happened in that moment right before like Uber and Lyft took off.

TREY: 00:05:14

6, 6, 6, 6, 6 66.

CHELSEY: 00:05:18

Oh, no.

TREY: 00:05:18

Goin' to the airport, driving around town, shopping for a movie, the

TREY: 00:05:26

Carmel is the number to know!," but it was like clearly a non-union commercial because

TREY: 00:05:39

And there's this one guy on the left probably like has never taken a dance class in his life.

TREY: 00:05:45

And it's just, It is like, chef's kiss so beautiful, but he like, can't it is just, gosh,

TREY: 00:05:55

Anyway.

TREY: 00:05:56

Oh, okay.

TREY: 00:05:57

Anyway, that's the whole point is I could not say stop singing the "San Francisco Treat."

TREY: 00:06:02

It was stuck in my head, the entire trip.

TREY: 00:06:06

So I'm Lodging A Complaint because that's precious, like memory space, like it's

TREY: 00:06:13

Haha.

TREY: 00:06:13

Like there's even like an Ellen standup joke.

TREY: 00:06:15

Like from back in the day before she had a talk show about like,

CHELSEY: 00:06:21

By Mennen!

CHELSEY: 00:06:23

Yeah.

TREY: 00:06:23

But boy, is that true?

TREY: 00:06:25

So I'm officially lodged that complaint all commercial jingle writers.

TREY: 00:06:28

You must do better except major kudos to our podcast, jingle

CHELSEY: 00:06:34

Which also gets stuck in my head all the time, but I don't care...

TREY: 00:06:36

but that's good.

TREY: 00:06:37

So good job, Joe Kinosian and great job, Natalie Weiss, the vocalist.

CHELSEY: 00:06:41

I guess the question is like, at what point do we change it up?

CHELSEY: 00:06:44

Like we gotta give kudos to Rice-A-Roni, cause they've been holding on to

TREY: 00:06:51

But you know who else has been holding onto it?

TREY: 00:06:53

ME!

TREY: 00:06:53

Cause I can't get it out of my head.

TREY: 00:06:55

And that is my complaint.

TREY: 00:06:57

Chelsey.

TREY: 00:06:57

Do you have any complaints you want to lodge?

CHELSEY: 00:07:00

I do.

CHELSEY: 00:07:01

I have the complaint about false advertising on packaging.

TREY: 00:07:05

Whoa, we're both doing ads.

TREY: 00:07:07

Interesting.

CHELSEY: 00:07:08

Oh yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:07:08

Interesting.

CHELSEY: 00:07:08

I didn't think about that.

CHELSEY: 00:07:10

Yeah, so I ...granted was at Rite-Aid so like expectations should be low.

CHELSEY: 00:07:16

I wanted to get a little like present for the eight year old and there's this

CHELSEY: 00:07:27

These two balls stay with me and they're attached by a string and you kind of launch it in the air.

CHELSEY: 00:07:34

And the goal is to get the balls to wrap around one of the rings of the ladder, but not fall off.

CHELSEY: 00:07:43

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:07:44

So I was like, oh, this is fun.

CHELSEY: 00:07:45

It's getting hot out summer.

TREY: 00:07:47

Question...

CHELSEY: 00:07:48

...nice outdoor game.

CHELSEY: 00:07:49

Question?

TREY: 00:07:50

Is this like the like Rite-Aid branded, like $5 game situation.

CHELSEY: 00:07:55

Now, it was not Rite-Aid branded, however, it was 50% off.

TREY: 00:08:01

Okay.

TREY: 00:08:01

Keep going.

CHELSEY: 00:08:02

So maybe that should have cued me up, but I've played this game before and the

CHELSEY: 00:08:14

And we had a jolly old time and it was great.

CHELSEY: 00:08:17

And I was like, wow, what a steal for this game?

CHELSEY: 00:08:20

I can't believe my friend Chris and Steph...

CHELSEY: 00:08:23

maybe they bought this at Rite-Aid.

CHELSEY: 00:08:24

Wow, I'm going to get this for the kids.

CHELSEY: 00:08:27

It's going to be a great hit.

CHELSEY: 00:08:29

And then I took it out of the box and it wasn't, it was like laughable how different the product

CHELSEY: 00:08:38

Like it was just not even in the same league.

CHELSEY: 00:08:42

It was probably like half the size.

CHELSEY: 00:08:44

They clearly purchased the good version, did a whole photo shoot with the good version of the

CHELSEY: 00:08:55

And that's why it was half off clearly.

CHELSEY: 00:08:57

Really learnt my lesson, but I am lodging a complaint against false photographic

CHELSEY: 00:09:07

And there were lots of sexual innuendos in that...

CHELSEY: 00:09:09

unintended!

TREY: 00:09:10

Oh, yes.

TREY: 00:09:11

Yes.

CHELSEY: 00:09:12

Just saying!

TREY: 00:09:13

Pure of heart.

TREY: 00:09:13

Pure of mind.

TREY: 00:09:14

Chelsey Donn.

CHELSEY: 00:09:17

I'm holding my crown high.

CHELSEY: 00:09:18

Okay.

But I will say: 00:09:19

messed up.

But I will say: 00:09:23

I'm glad I got to talk to you about that.

But I will say: 00:09:24

Cause like I had to play it off.

But I will say: 00:09:26

Like it was okay in front of the kids.

TREY: 00:09:28

Well, that's what I was going to say is I recognize that you're like,

TREY: 00:09:35

It's like, we're at that age when it's like, you're the aunt or uncle.

TREY: 00:09:38

And you're like, okay, I know that you had this amazing little contraption in

TREY: 00:09:45

But when I was your age, we played with a ladder and a ball and string

TREY: 00:09:52

And then it's uh, like you're already facing an uphill battle.

TREY: 00:09:54

Like.

CHELSEY: 00:09:55

Yeah, and I really like oversold it too.

CHELSEY: 00:09:57

I was like, "Hey, guys!

CHELSEY: 00:09:59

Got a lawn game for us!".

CHELSEY: 00:10:01

You know?

TREY: 00:10:01

Oh my God.

CHELSEY: 00:10:02

It's okay.

CHELSEY: 00:10:03

I'm.

CHELSEY: 00:10:03

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:10:04

Now I do feel better.

CHELSEY: 00:10:06

Now that we've discussed it.

CHELSEY: 00:10:08

Ah, it's exhale time.

CHELSEY: 00:10:12

Gotta let it out.

CHELSEY: 00:10:13

I feel great.

CHELSEY: 00:10:14

I feel great about letting that out.

CHELSEY: 00:10:16

Do you feel good?

TREY: 00:10:17

I feel really good, actually, yes.

CHELSEY: 00:10:19

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:10:19

I think it's time for us to hear some other people's complaints.

TREY: 00:10:22

Hey, that sounds great.

TREY: 00:10:23

Cause I think that that's why we're all here.

CHELSEY: 00:10:27

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:10:27

As you guys know, we are your trusty Review Queens.

CHELSEY: 00:10:32

We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

CHELSEY: 00:10:37

We read you the review, we break it down and then we rate the impact.

CHELSEY: 00:10:41

Other view on a scale from one to five crowns, it's a very Regal process that we call.

VOICEOVER: 00:10:47

Assess That Kvetch!

TREY: 00:10:49

Oh, but Chelsey, my dear, for those of us who don't speak Yiddish, what does that word mean?

CHELSEY: 00:10:53

'Kvetch!' It means complaints like, "I'm kvetching!"

TREY: 00:10:58

Oy Gut!.

CHELSEY: 00:11:00

Oy Gavalt!

CHELSEY: 00:11:01

Rolls right off the tongue, right?

CHELSEY: 00:11:03

Am I first, or are you first?

TREY: 00:11:05

I'm first?

TREY: 00:11:05

I'm first.

CHELSEY: 00:11:06

Your first yay.

CHELSEY: 00:11:07

Takes the pressure off me.

CHELSEY: 00:11:08

All right.

CHELSEY: 00:11:09

Take it away.

CHELSEY: 00:11:10

Trey.

CHELSEY: 00:11:11

You Review Queen.

CHELSEY: 00:11:12

Let's do it.

VOICEOVER: 00:11:15

Review That Review.

TREY: 00:11:19

This one I'm actually like, I'm excited about...

TREY: 00:11:22

I'm a little nervous about,

CHELSEY: 00:11:23

Don't be nervous.

TREY: 00:11:24

okay.

TREY: 00:11:25

So my review today is from Audible Books.

CHELSEY: 00:11:29

Mmmm.

CHELSEY: 00:11:30

My Fave!

TREY: 00:11:31

And this is a review of the narration of Valley of the Dolls.

CHELSEY: 00:11:37

Oh, wow.

CHELSEY: 00:11:38

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:11:39

I'm gonna take notes.

TREY: 00:11:40

And this is like, they rate on a bunch of different scales for audible books.

TREY: 00:11:46

So there's like the overall score, then there's the performance score.

TREY: 00:11:49

And then there's the story score.

TREY: 00:11:52

So overall is a two out of five stars, performance is a one out of five stars.

TREY: 00:11:58

And then story is three out of five.

TREY: 00:12:01

And this is from Terry B.

CHELSEY: 00:12:03

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:12:04

Terry B.

TREY: 00:12:05

All right.

TREY: 00:12:05

The subject here is all caps.

TREY: 00:12:08

Don't do it.

TREY: 00:12:10

This was by far and away, the worst narration ever.

TREY: 00:12:16

Although I enjoyed Laverne Cox in Orange is the New Black her performance here parentheses or

TREY: 00:12:31

I had never read this classic and decided that I would persevere through the bad narration and

TREY: 00:12:43

Impossible.

TREY: 00:12:47

"Impossible."

TREY: 00:12:47

Sorry.

TREY: 00:12:48

No matter how hard I tried, I could not force myself to continue.

TREY: 00:12:53

The characters were indistinguishable.

TREY: 00:12:56

And constantly changed throughout.

TREY: 00:13:00

I wished I had returned this book and considering this was an Audible Exclusive,

TREY: 00:13:09

If you want to read this book, then do just that.

TREY: 00:13:13

Read it.

TREY: 00:13:14

Do not waste a credit to listen to it.

TREY: 00:13:17

Yeah.

TREY: 00:13:18

Yeah

CHELSEY: 00:13:20

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:13:21

Terry B, that was intense.

CHELSEY: 00:13:25

I also love Laverne Cox.

CHELSEY: 00:13:28

And so if you're not paying for the Patreon and you did not see the video,

CHELSEY: 00:13:40

Cause I, I love her.

TREY: 00:13:42

She's an icon.

CHELSEY: 00:13:43

She's an icon.

TREY: 00:13:45

hero.

CHELSEY: 00:13:46

A True hero.

CHELSEY: 00:13:47

all of us should be so lucky.

CHELSEY: 00:13:49

To grace, the earth with her magnitude.

TREY: 00:13:53

But I, I guess, um, Terry did not.

CHELSEY: 00:13:56

Terry didn't agree.

CHELSEY: 00:13:57

So like, I'm going to need to try to put my own personal feelings aside a

TREY: 00:14:12

It is, this is interesting to me because it's specifically a review of the narration of

CHELSEY: 00:14:31

Yeah, I mean, that's true.

CHELSEY: 00:14:33

I like I'm somebody that listens to audibles all the time.

TREY: 00:14:37

oh, really?

CHELSEY: 00:14:37

Yes, I do.

CHELSEY: 00:14:38

And I have a lot of heated conversations about people with people about whether

CHELSEY: 00:14:49

However, I will say that the narration does make all the difference in the world.

CHELSEY: 00:14:56

When you have a great storyteller who can really change up their voice and things like

CHELSEY: 00:15:09

So I'm with Terry on, yes.

CHELSEY: 00:15:11

I think that the narration can, can affect the experience.

CHELSEY: 00:15:16

So I'll give her that to say was the worst narration ever.

CHELSEY: 00:15:19

And to say that audible should have done a better job of hiring someone more qualified.

CHELSEY: 00:15:24

I think is ridiculous.

CHELSEY: 00:15:26

Considering it's Laverne Cox!.

CHELSEY: 00:15:28

I mean, clearly they hired an icon whose a famous actor.

TREY: 00:15:34

Okay.

TREY: 00:15:34

but I want to push back because I do believe that acting is different from voiceover work.

TREY: 00:15:41

Does Laverne Cox have experience as like a professional voiceover narration artists?

TREY: 00:15:46

Cause you just, all the skills you listed.

TREY: 00:15:50

I have dabbled in acting, but I have never dabbled in voiceover.

TREY: 00:15:54

I don't think I have that skill set.

TREY: 00:15:56

I think there is a, in my opinion, there's a little distinguishable skillset difference.

TREY: 00:16:01

It crosses over often, but

CHELSEY: 00:16:03

That's fair.

TREY: 00:16:04

Because Laverne Cox is known as an actor, not as a voiceover artist,

CHELSEY: 00:16:09

Very true.

CHELSEY: 00:16:10

Good distinction.

TREY: 00:16:11

My opinion, my opinion,

CHELSEY: 00:16:12

No, I appreciate the pushback and I think that's true.

CHELSEY: 00:16:16

Was it embarrassing?

CHELSEY: 00:16:18

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:16:18

It's so hard to say, right?

TREY: 00:16:20

There is a preview.

CHELSEY: 00:16:22

Oh, okay.

CHELSEY: 00:16:23

Let's hear it.

TREY: 00:16:24

Let's do a little listen.

CHELSEY: 00:16:25

Okay, please.

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:27

"If I had your looks, I head straight for John Powers or Conover."

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:31

Who are they?"

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:32

Ann asked.

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:33

"They run the top modeling agencies in town.

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:35

That's what I'd love to do only I'm too short and not skinny enough.

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:40

But, you're just what they're looking for."

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:42

"I think I'd rather work in an office."

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:44

Ann said.

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:45

"Okay.

LAVERNE COX: 00:16:46

But I think you're crazy."

TREY: 00:16:49

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:16:50

I liked it.

CHELSEY: 00:16:51

I found it very soothing.

CHELSEY: 00:16:53

I can imagine myself being relaxed and listening to Laverne read Valley of the

CHELSEY: 00:17:00

I've never read.

CHELSEY: 00:17:01

I know it's like a very popular book.

CHELSEY: 00:17:04

I feel like that's why Terry B is so upset because it's like seeing a movie

CHELSEY: 00:17:14

And then you hear you see it and you're like, oh, this isn't the way it was playing out in my mind.

CHELSEY: 00:17:18

Like, I kind of feel like that's what happened with Terry B.

CHELSEY: 00:17:21

Terry B was envisioning something very specific and that thing was not Laverne Cox.

CHELSEY: 00:17:27

So when the story was being told by Laverne Cox, she was like, what is this?

CHELSEY: 00:17:33

This is ruining my experience, but I didn't really mind it did you?

TREY: 00:17:38

You know, it's interesting.

TREY: 00:17:38

Cause I, I was looking at other people's reviews and one person like a separate reviewer

TREY: 00:17:50

And I did sort of notice that, like that other review was mentioning how like redundant

TREY: 00:17:56

But, you know, I don't know.

TREY: 00:17:59

You know, I feel like I do think that I do find it to be it.

TREY: 00:18:05

A valuable opinion review cause someone did really have like a very strong reaction

TREY: 00:18:12

It was really hard to be in the story.

TREY: 00:18:14

They kept being pulled out and were distracted by the lack of character development and then

CHELSEY: 00:18:33

There's value there.

CHELSEY: 00:18:34

I hear you.

CHELSEY: 00:18:35

I mean, and the person seemed coherent.

CHELSEY: 00:18:37

Like, I don't know like what their spelling and grammar looked like, obviously.

CHELSEY: 00:18:41

But

TREY: 00:18:41

It's perfect.

TREY: 00:18:42

There's like literally not a misspelling anywhere.

TREY: 00:18:45

And they use parentheticals and like they, they do seem intelligent.

CHELSEY: 00:18:49

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:18:50

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:18:50

I wasn't like that entertained by her because I don't feel like I knew her, but that's

CHELSEY: 00:18:59

I don't know.

TREY: 00:19:00

Yeah.

TREY: 00:19:00

I don't know.

TREY: 00:19:01

That's a great question though.

CHELSEY: 00:19:02

Yeah.

TREY: 00:19:03

I mean, at least like be entertaining.

CHELSEY: 00:19:05

Like we have different biases here because I listened to a lot

CHELSEY: 00:19:12

And I've had some really, really bad experiences.

CHELSEY: 00:19:15

Like I, I have a disorder or whatever you want to call it called PCOS.

CHELSEY: 00:19:21

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

CHELSEY: 00:19:23

So I got an audible about that and the entire audible kept calling it P-COS.

CHELSEY: 00:19:29

Which like never in medical history, has anyone ever called this disease P-Cos!

CHELSEY: 00:19:33

And that was an example of when I was like, someone should have really caught this.

TREY: 00:19:39

That's horrible.

CHELSEY: 00:19:41

And so, because that's where I'm coming from.

CHELSEY: 00:19:43

I'm like, whatever girl, like you got Valley of the Dolls, you got Laverne

CHELSEY: 00:19:50

I've seen some like real stinkers on Audible.

TREY: 00:19:53

Do you think that Terry B is being truthful?

TREY: 00:19:56

Do we believe that?

TREY: 00:19:57

I mean, it just, it

CHELSEY: 00:19:58

I mean, it's, it feels subjective.

CHELSEY: 00:20:00

Like I believe that this was her experience.

CHELSEY: 00:20:02

I don't think I don't.

CHELSEY: 00:20:04

I think that I liked the fact that she commented on, she was a Laverne Cox fan.

CHELSEY: 00:20:10

She liked Orange is the New Black.

CHELSEY: 00:20:13

I think she was saying all of that so that we would know, like I'm not a hater.

CHELSEY: 00:20:19

Of Laverne Cox, like I'm not coming to this space to just hate on this person

CHELSEY: 00:20:26

I had actually pretty high hopes for this person and I was disappointed and I feel like

TREY: 00:20:38

Yeah, I do have, I agree.

TREY: 00:20:40

I kind of have a little bit of a Karen radar, Karen-Dar going off at the end about sort

TREY: 00:20:51

Like you would think they would shout but they kind of do have a point, but like, I.

CHELSEY: 00:20:56

So, but like, I, maybe it's also biased, like in the entertainment industry, but I can't

CHELSEY: 00:21:08

I don't know, like what were they supposed to do?

TREY: 00:21:10

Well, to me, I think that if you have, like, I think the point Terry is making is

TREY: 00:21:24

So like, I think that's why they, like, I think they did get someone really

TREY: 00:21:33

That's a voiceover talent, you know?

CHELSEY: 00:21:35

Yeah, totally.

CHELSEY: 00:21:37

Are we ready?

TREY: 00:21:38

you know, honestly, I, yeah, I could just go.

CHELSEY: 00:21:41

I think I have enough information to crown it.

TREY: 00:21:44

Mmm-hmm, me too.

CHELSEY: 00:21:44

All right.

CHELSEY: 00:21:46

So Trey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to

VOICEOVER: 00:22:01

The Queens are Tabulating!

TREY: 00:22:02

All right, Chels, You ready to show?

CHELSEY: 00:22:04

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:22:04

I am ready.

VOICEOVER: 00:22:07

Total Score!.

TREY: 00:22:12

Oh, okay.

TREY: 00:22:13

So I'm holding up five crowns and Chelsey's holding up three.

CHELSEY: 00:22:18

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:22:19

Trey, you pull up, you think that Terry B is a Review Queen.

TREY: 00:22:24

I do only because the whole point of a review is based on your personal opinion.

TREY: 00:22:29

And I feel like Terry did not didn't throw any low punches.

TREY: 00:22:33

Terry.

TREY: 00:22:34

Exactly.

TREY: 00:22:34

The points you just made.

TREY: 00:22:35

Terry was like, I was looking forward to Laverne Cox.

TREY: 00:22:38

I appreciate who they are.

TREY: 00:22:40

They use the proper pronouns.

TREY: 00:22:41

I think she, I think Laverne Cox uses she/her.

TREY: 00:22:45

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:22:46

Okay.

TREY: 00:22:46

But they, you know, I, I believed the Terry came in with the right intentions

TREY: 00:22:55

So like, I didn't think they had malice.

TREY: 00:22:57

I think they were sharing their experience.

TREY: 00:23:00

And so for that, I gave it five, even though it wasn't very entertaining, which is fine.

TREY: 00:23:05

I mean, she was short to the point.

TREY: 00:23:07

And so I gave Terry five, you gave Terry three, explain.

CHELSEY: 00:23:11

I did give Terry three.

CHELSEY: 00:23:13

Just because first of all, like I reserved my fives for my true Review Queens, which in

CHELSEY: 00:23:23

I think a four, four crowns is a very, you know, strong review, uh, assessment from me.

CHELSEY: 00:23:30

So that the audience knows I did three because I thought it was a little bit hyperbolic to

CHELSEY: 00:23:45

So just based on bringing my own experience to my evaluation as a regular Audible consumer.

CHELSEY: 00:23:53

That was why I landed with three, three crowns for Terry B.

CHELSEY: 00:23:57

And I feel confident in that, but I respect your five crowns.

TREY: 00:24:02

You know, I really feel like, I feel like I always like consistently

TREY: 00:24:09

Cause you're right.

TREY: 00:24:10

The very first sentence is like far and away, the worst narration ever, which.

TREY: 00:24:14

Anyway, I guess I'm sticking with the five

CHELSEY: 00:24:16

stick with it.

CHELSEY: 00:24:18

If that was your feeling for Terry B.

CHELSEY: 00:24:21

Terry, B is your Review Queen!

TREY: 00:24:23

It just proves how convincing you are as a Review Queen that you really made me consider it.

TREY: 00:24:27

Yeah,

CHELSEY: 00:24:27

Well, thank you.

CHELSEY: 00:24:29

That was fun.

CHELSEY: 00:24:31

It's time for a little bit of a palette cleanse.

CHELSEY: 00:24:33

Maybe before we hop back in.

TREY: 00:24:35

totally.

TREY: 00:24:35

All right.

TREY: 00:24:36

So we'll go onto a quick break right now.

TREY: 00:24:38

And then when we come back, we'll play with Meryl.

TREY: 00:24:40

Before we get into Chels-Chels's review.

CHELSEY: 00:24:44

Love it, BRB.

CHELSEY: 00:24:45

BRB.

VOICEOVER: 00:24:48

Hold your crown, we'll be right back.

TREY: 00:25:06

Yay.

TREY: 00:25:08

Oh my gosh, Chelsey it's game time.

TREY: 00:25:13

It's time to take a quick little spin on the Meryl-Go-Round.

VOICEOVER: 00:25:19

"I don't feel like an icon.

VOICEOVER: 00:25:21

Most of the days I feel like, 'I can't!"

VOICEOVER: 00:25:25

That's with an, A."

CHELSEY: 00:25:29

I feel Meryl so hard in that quote every time,

TREY: 00:25:32

Ugh, me too.

CHELSEY: 00:25:32

Sometimes, most of the time, I guess I do feel like an "I can't" too, Meryl.

CHELSEY: 00:25:37

Anyway, here's the deal, Trey and I each pick a rotten scathing, pithy one-star zinger.

CHELSEY: 00:25:44

And with 30 seconds on the clock, we will take turns, reciting the

TREY: 00:25:53

Just like queen Meryl, who does it all.

CHELSEY: 00:25:56

Before the clock runs out.

CHELSEY: 00:25:59

Ooh, my review is from Google.

CHELSEY: 00:26:04

It is a review of the closest Walmart to my area.

CHELSEY: 00:26:09

And the review is from Jason M and Jason M says, "smallest Walmart in hissst!"

CHELSEY: 00:26:22

There are three S's,

TREY: 00:26:23

it doesn't say, "-ory?"

CHELSEY: 00:26:25

Hissst!.

TREY: 00:26:28

Is that like what the kids say now?

CHELSEY: 00:26:31

Apparently,

TREY: 00:26:32

Oh my God.

TREY: 00:26:33

Okay.

TREY: 00:26:33

All right.

TREY: 00:26:34

All right.

TREY: 00:26:34

You ready to hop on?

CHELSEY: 00:26:36

I feel like I need, let me just a little bit of water before I go into that.

CHELSEY: 00:26:40

All right.

CHELSEY: 00:26:42

I'm ready.

VOICEOVER: 00:26:43

Three, Two, One.

VOICEOVER: 00:26:46

Go!

TREY: 00:26:46

Shakespeare

CHELSEY: 00:26:48

"smallest Walmart in hisst!"

TREY: 00:26:51

Musical Theater.

CHELSEY: 00:26:59

"Smallest Walmart in hissst!"

TREY: 00:27:02

Lifetime.

CHELSEY: 00:27:04

"Smallest Walmart in hissst!"

TREY: 00:27:07

Opera Diva,

CHELSEY: 00:27:07

"Smallest walmart in Hissst!"

TREY: 00:27:12

Soap opera.

CHELSEY: 00:27:15

"Smallest walmart in hissst!"

VOICEOVER: 00:27:20

"That's All!"

CHELSEY: 00:27:20

I don't know if I'm hitting any of these genres like Meryl.

TREY: 00:27:23

No, I think you're so good at this.

TREY: 00:27:26

And it makes me so mad.

TREY: 00:27:28

Like my absolute favorite of you every time is opera diva.

TREY: 00:27:33

Cause it's so funny.

TREY: 00:27:35

Okay.

TREY: 00:27:36

Chelsey you did so good.

TREY: 00:27:38

You did 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

CHELSEY: 00:27:44

Wow.

TREY: 00:27:45

That might be the best so far.

CHELSEY: 00:27:46

Thank God.

CHELSEY: 00:27:47

He didn't finish history or else I might have not finished with that many.

TREY: 00:27:51

That's impressive.

CHELSEY: 00:27:53

Are you ready?

TREY: 00:27:54

I'm ready?

CHELSEY: 00:27:55

Okay.

TREY: 00:27:56

All right.

TREY: 00:27:56

So I'll tell you guys mine.

TREY: 00:27:58

So my one star zinger is from Amazon Reviews and Okay.

TREY: 00:28:02

I wish...

TREY: 00:28:03

maybe we can put the picture on Instagram because it's for a long gray wizard, wig and beard.

TREY: 00:28:10

And when I tell you it is the most hilarious image in the world and the subject is "This sucks!"

TREY: 00:28:17

And the review that is written is, "totally sucks."

CHELSEY: 00:28:22

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:28:22

Great.

TREY: 00:28:23

Talk about piffy.

CHELSEY: 00:28:24

I mean, at least we know that they know three words,

TREY: 00:28:28

that's true.

CHELSEY: 00:28:29

are you ready?

TREY: 00:28:31

Yes, I'm ready.

VOICEOVER: 00:28:34

Three.

VOICEOVER: 00:28:35

Two.

VOICEOVER: 00:28:36

One.

VOICEOVER: 00:28:37

Go!

CHELSEY: 00:28:37

Opera Diva

TREY: 00:28:38

"Totally sucks!"

CHELSEY: 00:28:41

Disaster.

TREY: 00:28:43

"Totally sucks!"

CHELSEY: 00:28:44

Film Noir!

TREY: 00:28:47

"Totally sucks.

TREY: 00:28:49

Big boy.

TREY: 00:28:51

" CHELSEY: Mime?!

TREY: 00:28:52

Horror!

TREY: 00:28:54

"Ahhh Totally sucks!

TREY: 00:28:58

Ahhhh"

CHELSEY: 00:29:00

Soap opera.

TREY: 00:29:03

"Totally sucks!"

CHELSEY: 00:29:04

Lifetime!

VOICEOVER: 00:29:07

That's all.

CHELSEY: 00:29:08

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:29:08

Freaking great as well.

TREY: 00:29:10

I know but it was two words, It's kind of cheating

CHELSEY: 00:29:12

No, it wasn't

CHELSEY: 00:29:13

Six!.

CHELSEY: 00:29:14

We tied!

CHELSEY: 00:29:16

Six and six!, wow.

TREY: 00:29:19

Wow.

TREY: 00:29:22

I'm so proud of us.

TREY: 00:29:22

We both tied!

CHELSEY: 00:29:23

I'm so proud of us too!

CHELSEY: 00:29:25

We got to leave that as both winners.

TREY: 00:29:29

Your's was really funny.

TREY: 00:29:30

That Was like, that was a good round.

TREY: 00:29:32

"Hissst!"

TREY: 00:29:33

All right.

TREY: 00:29:34

So, should we jump back in.

CHELSEY: 00:29:35

I think we have to

VOICEOVER: 00:29:39

Review That Review.

TREY: 00:29:42

Alright.

TREY: 00:29:42

We're back from the game break.

TREY: 00:29:44

And now it is Chelsey Donn's turn.

TREY: 00:29:47

What is your review this week?

CHELSEY: 00:29:49

This week, I will be reviewing a place that I am embarrassingly went to

TREY: 00:30:00

Oh, really?

TREY: 00:30:01

Well, you used to, live on near 42nd street, right?

CHELSEY: 00:30:03

I did, I used to live near 42nd Street, but also like in college, when

CHELSEY: 00:30:10

So we would find our way there a lot.

CHELSEY: 00:30:12

So

TREY: 00:30:12

No judgment.

TREY: 00:30:13

I mean, hello, unlimited breadsticks.

CHELSEY: 00:30:15

Soup, Salad, breadsticks.

CHELSEY: 00:30:17

I mean, great lunch.

CHELSEY: 00:30:18

I was there.

TREY: 00:30:19

So where is it from?

CHELSEY: 00:30:21

It is from Yelp.

CHELSEY: 00:30:22

It is written by Crystal W who I will point out she's going to point it out anyway, but I

CHELSEY: 00:30:32

She has written, over 236 reviews.

CHELSEY: 00:30:36

this is 237, I believe.

CHELSEY: 00:30:39

and she includes, she's included 414 photos in her reviews.

CHELSEY: 00:30:44

So Crystal considers herself quite wise.

TREY: 00:30:47

Whoa.

CHELSEY: 00:30:48

Yeah.

TREY: 00:30:48

All right, I'm ready.

CHELSEY: 00:30:50

You probably think as a Yelp elite, I am crazy to go to Olive Garden

CHELSEY: 00:31:04

So they was wanted to do all the touristy things.

CHELSEY: 00:31:09

We stopped by for dinner on 12/30/2019 at 4:45 PM.

CHELSEY: 00:31:16

The first red flag was our waitress, Kashaya, did not write down anything down.

CHELSEY: 00:31:22

She memorized our orders, but that's definitely not fail-proof.

CHELSEY: 00:31:27

She went around the table to repeat our orders and already forgot one person's.

CHELSEY: 00:31:33

We ordered Chicken Alfredo, Seafood Alfredo, Eggplant Parmesan, and Create Your Own Pasta

CHELSEY: 00:31:43

The food took forever to arrive, but yes, I understand.

CHELSEY: 00:31:46

It's busy in New York City, especially on the Eve of New Years, new year's Eve.

CHELSEY: 00:31:50

When our breadsticks, soup, salad arrived, our waitress forgot the cheese grater, and that

CHELSEY: 00:32:00

She disappeared for 30 minutes.

CHELSEY: 00:32:02

Our entree came out shortly after our soup...

CHELSEY: 00:32:05

soup, salad.

CHELSEY: 00:32:06

If that gives you an idea of how long it took, I asked her where our alcoholic beverages were

CHELSEY: 00:32:17

I guess she forgot she explained the beers on tap and that the Pinot Grigio Cavet might be out.

CHELSEY: 00:32:24

And if I wanted a substitute.

CHELSEY: 00:32:25

So, we got our drinks with the entrees probably would've helped if she wrote

CHELSEY: 00:32:36

There was hardly any sauce we had to use our Alfredo Boat and pour sauce onto our entree.

CHELSEY: 00:32:43

We were scared to ask our waitress for more sauce because she would have disappeared

CHELSEY: 00:32:51

Finally, our party of four, had an automatic tip of 18% applied to our $120 bill before tax.

CHELSEY: 00:33:02

Our service definitely did NOT deserve an 18% tip.

CHELSEY: 00:33:07

Our waitress even forgot to give us mints with the bill until I reminded her.

CHELSEY: 00:33:13

Overall an epic fail.

CHELSEY: 00:33:16

I tried calling the restaurant manager, Michael, several times on 12/30 and 12/31, but

CHELSEY: 00:33:28

I'm glad I didn't make New Year's Eve dinner reservations here for $250 a person.

CHELSEY: 00:33:34

Otherwise I would be pissed spending close to $1K.

TREY: 00:33:42

Oh, my God.

TREY: 00:33:43

Okay another great pick.

CHELSEY: 00:33:46

Thank you.

TREY: 00:33:47

First of all, I just, the first thing I have to say here, is you know

CHELSEY: 00:33:55

Hated.

CHELSEY: 00:33:56

I mean, worst nightmare.

TREY: 00:33:58

I'm just imagining like all of that happening.

TREY: 00:34:01

And I think there's faults, obviously there are faults, but then at the very end to

TREY: 00:34:10

You didn't bring our mints."

TREY: 00:34:12

Oh my God.

TREY: 00:34:13

Just imagine the, like the personality of being in the service industry, especially

CHELSEY: 00:34:22

And maybe they changed this, but like back in the day, when I used

CHELSEY: 00:34:29

So like, you could grab them in if you needed a minute on the way.

CHELSEY: 00:34:32

I mean, the men's are delicious.

CHELSEY: 00:34:34

Let's not

TREY: 00:34:34

I don't really remember.

TREY: 00:34:35

Are they those like mint Andes?

CHELSEY: 00:34:37

They're Andes mints.

TREY: 00:34:38

And it's traditional that you get at, like with the bill, right?

CHELSEY: 00:34:41

You do.

CHELSEY: 00:34:42

You usually get one per person or two per people, depending on how big your party is with

TREY: 00:34:54

No.

TREY: 00:34:55

And halfway through the review, did I realize it's probably like that salad dressing, silver

TREY: 00:35:03

Like it took me that long to realize that's probably what it is.

CHELSEY: 00:35:05

Do you think that's on the menu or do you think that was an off menu...

TREY: 00:35:10

I dunno...

CHELSEY: 00:35:10

...request?

CHELSEY: 00:35:11

I've never heard of an Alfredo Boat.

TREY: 00:35:14

Maybe it is a thing I don't like you could order it as a side?

TREY: 00:35:17

Ew.

TREY: 00:35:17

Ew,

CHELSEY: 00:35:18

Gross.

CHELSEY: 00:35:19

Also, we got two Alfredo dishes and an Alfredo Boat and there wasn't enough Alfredo.

TREY: 00:35:26

I have a question, it say where Crystal is crystal like a tourist in New York?

CHELSEY: 00:35:32

she, yes.

CHELSEY: 00:35:33

Crystal is a tourist in New York.

CHELSEY: 00:35:34

It doesn't say as far as my records where she's from.

TREY: 00:35:38

Yeah.

TREY: 00:35:38

Well, because at the beginning, it's when she's talking about the kids, the phrasing is they

TREY: 00:35:44

It's not like Baltimore, like Philly or something they was wanted.

CHELSEY: 00:35:48

I don't know, there are a few weird grammatical errors like that along the way that

TREY: 00:35:55

What about spelling?

TREY: 00:35:57

Was there bad spelling?

TREY: 00:35:58

Cause there was a lot of grammar stuff.

CHELSEY: 00:36:00

There was no bad spelling.

CHELSEY: 00:36:01

The spelling was fine.

CHELSEY: 00:36:03

The grammar was wonky in quite a few places.

CHELSEY: 00:36:07

She was very passionate about this review.

TREY: 00:36:12

It was really funny to me, like, cause I, I have been a waiter.

TREY: 00:36:16

I also have been weighted upon and I do always have a little, like, like a little like gut

TREY: 00:36:26

And that was policy, the restaurant I worked at, we had to write it down, but like to go around the

CHELSEY: 00:36:36

Yeah, like there, there's no doubt that Kashaya?

CHELSEY: 00:36:40

I think Kashaya was having a bad day.

CHELSEY: 00:36:44

I can't imagine working in Times Square, even just the Eve of New Year's Eve.

TREY: 00:36:50

okay.

TREY: 00:36:51

I wrote that phrase down.

TREY: 00:36:52

I hate that.

TREY: 00:36:53

I hate when I hate.

TREY: 00:36:55

Okay.

TREY: 00:36:55

It's called New Year's Eve.

CHELSEY: 00:36:57

Right.

TREY: 00:36:58

Eve of New Year's Eve is not a thing.

TREY: 00:37:00

Christmas Eve, Eve of Christmas Eve.

TREY: 00:37:03

No.

TREY: 00:37:03

That's not a thing, but, I get, it's like just a cute, more concise way to, but like obviously

CHELSEY: 00:37:16

Yes!

TREY: 00:37:17

You have to like have an outrageous number of staffing for that event.

TREY: 00:37:22

So it's literally like the Eve of New Year's Eve is like the calm before the storm.

CHELSEY: 00:37:28

Right!

TREY: 00:37:29

So, I just like, I can't, A, imagine working in Times Square, B, for those ho oh my God.

TREY: 00:37:35

Like I just I, my empathy is already not with Crystal.

TREY: 00:37:39

It is with Keysha, Kesha.

TREY: 00:37:41

Kashaya

CHELSEY: 00:37:42

Kashaya, I think.

TREY: 00:37:43

How is it spelled?.

CHELSEY: 00:37:44

K A S H A Y A.

TREY: 00:37:48

Oh, that's pretty.

CHELSEY: 00:37:49

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:37:49

Kashaya.

TREY: 00:37:50

I also think it's funny that at the beginning she says that she disappeared

TREY: 00:37:59

Like, what?

TREY: 00:38:01

Also Like..

CHELSEY: 00:38:01

No, I don't want to guess you told me.

TREY: 00:38:03

Do you think that Crystal is like holding a stopwatch because she references

CHELSEY: 00:38:10

Yeah, I think maybe Crystal's like a swim coach or something like that,

TREY: 00:38:17

...just with it hanging...

CHELSEY: 00:38:19

She just has it already hanging around her throat.

CHELSEY: 00:38:21

She's like, this is ridiculous.

CHELSEY: 00:38:22

I don't know.

CHELSEY: 00:38:23

I also think.

CHELSEY: 00:38:24

Uh, for future, we need to have some sort of a sound cue.

CHELSEY: 00:38:27

Whenever anyone says, if they called the manager or tried to speak to the manager,

TREY: 00:38:32

I like that.

TREY: 00:38:32

A Karen, like, um,

CHELSEY: 00:38:34

yeah, because she, because crystal made sure that we knew that she tried

CHELSEY: 00:38:48

How did she know his name was Michael, unless you just called and was like, I

TREY: 00:38:54

That's a good question.

TREY: 00:38:55

I did notice on 12/30 and 12/31.

TREY: 00:38:58

Girl, why are you calling to speak to a manager on New Year's Eve?

CHELSEY: 00:39:03

They're busy.

TREY: 00:39:04

That Manager is not going to answer you.

TREY: 00:39:06

They shut down the subway stations on New Year's at like eight in the morning.

TREY: 00:39:09

Like.

CHELSEY: 00:39:10

I know, also like...

TREY: 00:39:11

...he's not answering to hear your complaint.

CHELSEY: 00:39:12

It's really busy in the City during this time, because Crystal, you're

CHELSEY: 00:39:24

Like it is busy.

CHELSEY: 00:39:27

If it was taking a half an hour for you to get your entrees, it was probably

TREY: 00:39:35

Correct.

TREY: 00:39:36

Well, you know, to be fair, the not writing the things down, that's a problem.

TREY: 00:39:40

The length of time is a problem.

TREY: 00:39:42

If they had written everything down, I think they would have remembered they ordered beer.

TREY: 00:39:45

They would have remembered all this stuff.

CHELSEY: 00:39:47

Agreed.

TREY: 00:39:47

Like I like that is a problem.

TREY: 00:39:50

And so that's valuable to me that you know, it's possible, like, my experience as a

TREY: 00:39:57

So if you're going here and it's that busy and you're without your server for

TREY: 00:40:05

No.

TREY: 00:40:05

It's probably indicative of like what a common experience it's going

CHELSEY: 00:40:12

Oh, yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:40:13

I mean, like we're not getting 5 star white glove service at the Olive Garden let's be clear.

CHELSEY: 00:40:21

We're in Times Square, the service, I'm positive was sub-par I'm not doing any question

CHELSEY: 00:40:31

I'm I think a lot of people going to this Olive Garden location, we'll probably

CHELSEY: 00:40:41

Cause I'm sure the turnaround is pretty significant.

TREY: 00:40:44

Do you know, owns Olive Garden?

CHELSEY: 00:40:46

No, who?

TREY: 00:40:48

I don't ...I just remember in college there, I had friends that worked for Outback

TREY: 00:40:56

You had to do a math test and you had to pass like three interviews.

TREY: 00:41:00

I'm wondering if it's the same organization.

CHELSEY: 00:41:02

I had a friend that worked at Olive Garden.

CHELSEY: 00:41:04

Not that location.

CHELSEY: 00:41:05

I think like the 34th street, there's another location of Olive Garden.

CHELSEY: 00:41:09

And she had like a packet, like she had a memorize a lot.

TREY: 00:41:13

That's what I'm wondering.

TREY: 00:41:13

Like I w I actually don't think it's.

TREY: 00:41:16

Like, I don't think our judgment is about what it takes to be a server at Olive Garden.

TREY: 00:41:21

These sort of, even though they're not fine dining restaurants, they're chain restaurants.

TREY: 00:41:25

They like, you can't just get hired off the street

CHELSEY: 00:41:28

I guess my thing is more, I'm sure that Kashaya is just like beat to the

TREY: 00:41:36

That is a hard location.

CHELSEY: 00:41:38

That is a hard job.

TREY: 00:41:40

but you could make the job easier by writing everything down.

CHELSEY: 00:41:43

It's true.

CHELSEY: 00:41:45

I also, I mean, I don't think it's a policy at Olive Garden, but my sister was a waitress

TREY: 00:41:56

Yeah.

TREY: 00:41:56

That's like a thing too.

TREY: 00:41:57

And I just, just in this whole conversation, I'm not being judgemental of service workers.

TREY: 00:42:01

Your sister is a lawyer, so

CHELSEY: 00:42:02

Yes!

TREY: 00:42:03

So, a Lawyer.

TREY: 00:42:04

was a waiter.

TREY: 00:42:04

So like,

CHELSEY: 00:42:05

For many years.

CHELSEY: 00:42:06

Yes.

CHELSEY: 00:42:07

No, totally.

CHELSEY: 00:42:08

I'm not.

CHELSEY: 00:42:09

I'm always going to be on the side of the server,

TREY: 00:42:12

Amen!

CHELSEY: 00:42:13

So that's, that's just going to be my bias right there.

CHELSEY: 00:42:16

And I'm sure that when I say that it's a revolving door and people leave.

CHELSEY: 00:42:20

I think it's just because they're beat up.

CHELSEY: 00:42:23

It's it's a hard job.

CHELSEY: 00:42:24

I mean, I had a friend that worked at Bubba Gump in Times Square, "run Forest, run" "stop Forest.

CHELSEY: 00:42:29

Stop."

CHELSEY: 00:42:29

Yeah.

TREY: 00:42:30

It's just an outrageous volume of patrons.

CHELSEY: 00:42:33

Yeah, just people all day tourists, like people that don't tip, like just the worst.

CHELSEY: 00:42:38

That's why they do the 18% tip included.

CHELSEY: 00:42:41

I...

TREY: 00:42:41

I had a question about that because I do, they do that on a four top.

CHELSEY: 00:42:45

I think that they do, they do in Times Square in general, because there's

CHELSEY: 00:42:52

I mean, just a lot of people don't tip and it's really hard to work there.

CHELSEY: 00:42:58

Things are more expensive in Times Square.

CHELSEY: 00:43:00

I'm sorry, but they just are, you know, you're going to go to an Olive Garden in Times Square.

CHELSEY: 00:43:05

I don't think you should be shocked that they include an 18% tip.

TREY: 00:43:10

And I think that Crystal was fair about that at the beginning.

TREY: 00:43:12

Like the kids wanted to go.

TREY: 00:43:14

So they went, do you think that Crystal is being truthful here?

TREY: 00:43:17

Do you think that they're like a dis-?

TREY: 00:43:19

I don't think she's, a disgruntled former employee.

TREY: 00:43:21

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:43:22

I don't think she's I think she's being absolutely truthful.

CHELSEY: 00:43:26

I think she takes her position as an elite Yelper reviewer.

CHELSEY: 00:43:31

Very, very seriously.

TREY: 00:43:34

Just like we take our self-appointed Review Queen position.

TREY: 00:43:38

Very seriously.

TREY: 00:43:39

So does Crystal.

CHELSEY: 00:43:40

Yeah, I believe that Crystal's being authentic in her,

CHELSEY: 00:43:48

She gives me a little bit of Karen Dar.

TREY: 00:43:51

Yes.

TREY: 00:43:52

Yes.

TREY: 00:43:52

The having posted 400 plus images on Yelp is a little Kareny, but

TREY: 00:43:57

you know, that's

TREY: 00:43:58

our business too.

TREY: 00:43:58

So.

TREY: 00:44:00

I was saying it's completely humorless.

TREY: 00:44:01

There was like, there wasn't any fun I mean, I was entertained about like Alfredo Boat.

CHELSEY: 00:44:07

Yes.

CHELSEY: 00:44:08

Okay.

TREY: 00:44:08

now I'm, I'm recognizing how you felt about the Valley of the Dolls.

TREY: 00:44:11

Like it is sort of nice to at least have a little bit of levity.

CHELSEY: 00:44:14

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:44:15

Do we feel like we have enough information to take this to the rating?

TREY: 00:44:21

I do, yeah.

TREY: 00:44:21

Let's crown it.

VOICEOVER: 00:44:24

The Queens are Tabulating!

TREY: 00:44:26

You ready to show.

CHELSEY: 00:44:27

I think I'm ready.

CHELSEY: 00:44:28

Yes.

TREY: 00:44:29

Okay Okay me too.

VOICEOVER: 00:44:34

Total Score!

TREY: 00:44:35

Tie!

CHELSEY: 00:44:36

Unanimous decision!

CHELSEY: 00:44:39

Okay, We both did three crowns.

CHELSEY: 00:44:41

I did three crowns because I took a couple of crowns away, one for the Karen

CHELSEY: 00:44:48

I gave the three crowns because I thought that they were being truthful to their experience.

CHELSEY: 00:44:53

And I think it's probably typical of what you can expect if you are going

CHELSEY: 00:45:01

So for that reason, I decided to give Crystal three crowns.

CHELSEY: 00:45:06

How about you?

TREY: 00:45:06

yeah, I said three because it just feels very run of the

TREY: 00:45:13

Very like, Yes.

TREY: 00:45:14

I feel like.

TREY: 00:45:15

You know, this is what you're going get when you go to the Olive Garden in Times Square.

TREY: 00:45:19

And I believed her, I believe this experience happened.

TREY: 00:45:23

There's a couple of grammar things, whatever, not really humorous or, but you know,

TREY: 00:45:29

so the impact there wasn't much of a deal.

TREY: 00:45:31

There's no deal breaker.

TREY: 00:45:32

I mean, this is exactly like what I would expect.

TREY: 00:45:34

So for those reasons I just gave it, three middle of the road.

CHELSEY: 00:45:37

Yes.

CHELSEY: 00:45:39

Completely agree.

TREY: 00:45:40

Excellent.

CHELSEY: 00:45:42

Wow.

CHELSEY: 00:45:42

I feel like we learned a lot of things today.

TREY: 00:45:45

Me too.

TREY: 00:45:46

What did you learn, Chels-Chels?

CHELSEY: 00:45:47

I learned that people have strong opinions about things and they're not

CHELSEY: 00:46:01

Like I think that the Leverne Cox thing really threw me, I need to really try

TREY: 00:46:09

oh, that's like, so like self-deprecating I feel like you're a great, Review Queen.

TREY: 00:46:13

but.

TREY: 00:46:14

I really, I also, similarly I learned about my own personal biases here.

TREY: 00:46:19

Like I it's trying to like navigate both sides of the coin.

TREY: 00:46:22

You know, I also learned that if I'm going to Rite-Aid and there's a 50% off toy, maybe

TREY: 00:46:35

and I same conversation of the two sides of the coin, you know, when

TREY: 00:46:41

Over like drilling in your head of a jingle, the negativity of that.

TREY: 00:46:46

It's also the positivity, because here we are and we can sing Rice-A-Roni.

CHELSEY: 00:46:51

Right.

CHELSEY: 00:46:53

As we reach the end of today's episode.

CHELSEY: 00:46:55

Have you got any personal reviews for your week?

CHELSEY: 00:46:58

Where are you inducting for...

VOICEOVER: 00:47:01

My Royal Highness

TREY: 00:47:03

That's a great question.

TREY: 00:47:04

I had a lot of time when I was traveling to really notice what it takes to be working in

TREY: 00:47:15

Know, some places aren't open and some places are.

TREY: 00:47:17

And, um, the specific airport I flew into for my sister had a shortage of TSA

TREY: 00:47:26

So I am going to induct these TSA agents who are working through this pandemic where

TREY: 00:47:35

More people are getting vaccinated and, but they're still like there.

TREY: 00:47:38

so to me, I think five stars.

TREY: 00:47:42

Five crowns are more than deserved for these TSA agents.

CHELSEY: 00:47:49

That's so crazy because I also was just on a plane.

CHELSEY: 00:47:53

And so I was going to give My Royal Highness of this week.

CHELSEY: 00:47:58

I swear.

CHELSEY: 00:47:59

I wrote it down, to the flight attendant on my flight coming back from Newark

CHELSEY: 00:48:10

I was bumped up to first class, which I was very excited about.

CHELSEY: 00:48:13

and there was a guy sitting next to me and he just had the worst stink face on.

CHELSEY: 00:48:19

And he was really annoyed that there were crumbs on his seat and he was throwing like, I

CHELSEY: 00:48:44

And she pacified the experience, which made my experience better.

CHELSEY: 00:48:49

So I was just really grateful because in that moment, I just thought, wow, like you

CHELSEY: 00:48:58

They're, you know, they're showing up for us and they have to put up

CHELSEY: 00:49:05

And she's still had a smile on her face.

CHELSEY: 00:49:07

And I wish I could remember her name because I'd reference her directly, but she was lovely.

CHELSEY: 00:49:12

And.

CHELSEY: 00:49:13

She was wearing heels.

TREY: 00:49:16

Uh You better work, lady flight attendant in heels.

CHELSEY: 00:49:20

I mean, my God

TREY: 00:49:21

Before we go, do we have time for one Royal review?

CHELSEY: 00:49:24

I feel like we can make time for that.

CHELSEY: 00:49:26

Yeah,

TREY: 00:49:26

Okay, good.

TREY: 00:49:27

So every so often we'd like to feature one of our very own reviews from listeners.

TREY: 00:49:31

Like you.

CHELSEY: 00:49:32

That's right.

CHELSEY: 00:49:33

But a review for one of our listeners isn't any ordinary review.

CHELSEY: 00:49:37

It's a Royal review.

VOICEOVER: 00:49:41

Baby, it's time for some Royal Reviews!

TREY: 00:49:46

Hmm.

TREY: 00:49:47

Okay.

TREY: 00:49:47

So this, uh, Royal review is from the user Chris Wendelken on apple podcasts, five stars.

TREY: 00:49:55

The, caps, Only Review Queens.

TREY: 00:49:59

I love Chelsey and Trey.

TREY: 00:50:00

This podcast is essential listening and brightens my week.

TREY: 00:50:04

Awwww.

CHELSEY: 00:50:04

ah,

TREY: 00:50:05

Thanks Chris Wendelken.

TREY: 00:50:07

Uh, full disclosure.

TREY: 00:50:09

I know Chris Wendelken, he is a fellow podcaster and really took a lot of

TREY: 00:50:19

And, um, that's so nice that Chris threw us five stars.

TREY: 00:50:22

What a gem.

CHELSEY: 00:50:24

Thank you.

CHELSEY: 00:50:24

Chris Wendelken.

CHELSEY: 00:50:25

I owe you a five star review in return and it will be coming.

TREY: 00:50:30

Yeah, so everyone can do that.

TREY: 00:50:31

Uh, go check out Chris Wendelken's podcast, it's called SwishFM give it a listen, if you like

CHELSEY: 00:50:40

Okay.

CHELSEY: 00:50:41

And if you want to be featured as one of our Royal Reviews, then make

TREY: 00:50:48

and if you hate the pod, you can hate review us with five stars.

TREY: 00:50:51

That'll really get our goat, honeys.

CHELSEY: 00:50:54

We've made it super easy with a super cute link.

CHELSEY: 00:50:57

Lovethepodcast.com/TheReviewQueens.

TREY: 00:51:02

That's lovethepodcast.com/thereviewqueens.

TREY: 00:51:05

And it's really easy because we've actually added a one-click link down in the show

CHELSEY: 00:51:14

Yeah, I can't wait to experience how easy it is.

TREY: 00:51:16

all right.

TREY: 00:51:17

We did a Queen that's another round in the books.

CHELSEY: 00:51:19

Thank you so much for joining us today.

CHELSEY: 00:51:22

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

TREY: 00:51:25

if you didn't like what you heard, tell an enemy.

TREY: 00:51:26

If you want to lodge your own complaint, submit your own review or share with the

CHELSEY: 00:51:38

You can also follow us on all the socials @TheReviewQueens and I'm @ChelseyBD.

TREY: 00:51:45

and I'm @TreyGerrald.

TREY: 00:51:46

That's two R's.

TREY: 00:51:48

Become a member of the Royal Court by joining our Patrion at patreon.com/reviewthatreview.

TREY: 00:51:54

Oh, you can also, this is really cool.

TREY: 00:51:55

You can watch live clips from our recording sessions on YouTube, and we also

CHELSEY: 00:52:01

Yeah.

CHELSEY: 00:52:01

And remember, ignore the haters.

CHELSEY: 00:52:04

You're a queen.

TREY: 00:52:05

gender non-specific queen.

CHELSEY: 00:52:07

Bye!

VOICEOVER: 00:52:10

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

VOICEOVER: 00:52:12

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty.

VOICEOVER: 00:52:15

Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by

VOICEOVER: 00:52:20

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe