UA-198543153-1 28 Macy's Santaland - 1 & 5 Star Reviews - Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald

Episode 28

Episode 28: Macy's Santaland - 1 vs 5 Star Reviews

"That's right Santa, get that beard nice & tight!"

The Queens go head-to-head in a Holiday-themed 1 Star VERSUS 5 Star showdown! This Special Edition Versus Episode features Yelp reviews for Macy's Santaland! The famous Christmas tradition of visiting with the man himself... inside a department store... can arguably be traced back to Macy's and the Queens get into it! Trey's flame burns bright and he needs the Days to stop. Chelsey is Scrooge McDuck in a sea of junk, and the Queens are ready for FiestaMaiden and HammondCheeseSandWitch to go head-to-head.

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(04:45) Lodge a Complaint!

(15:21) Santaland 5 Star Review

(30:26) Exclusive Offer

(32:46) Meryl-Go-Round

(38:40) Santaland 5 Star Review

(53:22) My Royal Highness

(57:14) Royal Review

(59:09) Royal Court


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@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald 


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Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

Transcript
VOICEOVER:

Everybody's got

Chelsey Donn:

Hello!

Trey Gerrald:

Oh my gosh.

Trey Gerrald:

Hi.

Trey Gerrald:

Hello listeners.

Trey Gerrald:

Welcome to Review That Review.

Trey Gerrald:

We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing

Chelsey Donn:

Reviews.

Chelsey Donn:

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

Trey Gerrald:

That voice is Chelsey Donn,

Chelsey Donn:

and that voice is Trey Gerrald.

Trey Gerrald:

And our voices together, are,

VOICEOVER:

The Review Queens.

Trey Gerrald:

And if you want to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive

Trey Gerrald:

I've missed you.

Trey Gerrald:

We had a proper week off how's your week been?

Chelsey Donn:

I know, it's crazy.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, it really does feel like I haven't seen you in eons.

Chelsey Donn:

My week was a little dulled without you.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm going to be honest.

Trey Gerrald:

Are you calling me a flamer?

Chelsey Donn:

I ...not intentionally.

Chelsey Donn:

You could adapt as you will, but no, no.

Chelsey Donn:

Um, it was a good week.

Chelsey Donn:

I went to an art show in person for Ashley Longshore, who is my mother's favorite artist.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

So she insisted that I go, but that being said, it was amazing.

Chelsey Donn:

Her art is incredible.

Chelsey Donn:

She's amazing.

Chelsey Donn:

I had a good time.

Chelsey Donn:

I just am happy whenever I do anything that resembles like pre 2020 life, you know.

Trey Gerrald:

Of course.

Chelsey Donn:

How about you?

Chelsey Donn:

How was your week?

Chelsey Donn:

Where were you, Trey?

Trey Gerrald:

I had a good week.

Trey Gerrald:

We took a week off because I went to visit my nephews and sister and former

Trey Gerrald:

We had a lovely trip and it was really.

Trey Gerrald:

And here we are.

Trey Gerrald:

We are back in the full swing of things with a very fun episode.

Trey Gerrald:

I can't wait to jump in.

Chelsey Donn:

I know I'm so like delighted if you're on Patreon right now, you

Chelsey Donn:

My screen game has been upped significantly.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know if you guys remember when I told you about the issue with the skateboard

Chelsey Donn:

I returned that green screen.

Chelsey Donn:

I bought a new one.

Chelsey Donn:

That is, it was a little bit more and I was hesitant to buy it the first time as me.

Chelsey Donn:

Now, sometimes you get what you pay for, and this one is so much better, which I'm very happy

Trey Gerrald:

It looks gorgeous.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you so much.

Trey Gerrald:

Screw skateboard girl, get her out of.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes, totally.

Trey Gerrald:

Was there anyone interesting on the cover of this box?

Chelsey Donn:

They weren't going as much with a gimmick as the other one, which I,

Chelsey Donn:

And then I also went to the reviews, you know, as I do.

Chelsey Donn:

And I saw in the comment section.

Chelsey Donn:

A customer had also posted a video.

Chelsey Donn:

So between those two things, I was pretty confident I was going to be okay.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm not going to lie.

Chelsey Donn:

There were some negative reviews.

Chelsey Donn:

So there was a part of me that was a little worried, but thank God all has worked out.

Chelsey Donn:

Ah, you know, and with all that gratitude for companies that are truthful and honest, Do

Trey Gerrald:

You know, I think that I really would love to...

VOICEOVER:

Lodge a Complaint

Trey Gerrald:

...today.

Trey Gerrald:

I am going to lodge a complaint against a trend that has been growing

Trey Gerrald:

I am so sick of these arbitrary made up social influencer national holidays.

Trey Gerrald:

Hashtag national dog day, which is different than national pet day, which

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

I just want you to see, I have two sticky notes here.

Trey Gerrald:

I've done some research.

Trey Gerrald:

This is just a list.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm not talking about like actual national holidays-

Chelsey Donn:

right?

Chelsey Donn:

Of course.

Chelsey Donn:

You're talking about world donut day.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Let me tell you, I just, this is just a few I've written down.

Trey Gerrald:

It's a lengthy list.

Trey Gerrald:

Please hold your applause to the end.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Pie Day.

Trey Gerrald:

Which is um not-

Chelsey Donn:

well that's 3/14,

Trey Gerrald:

no, not March 14th, but you think it would be, this is

Trey Gerrald:

We also have Mutt Day.

Trey Gerrald:

We have-

Chelsey Donn:

mud?

Trey Gerrald:

Mutt!

Trey Gerrald:

Like-

Chelsey Donn:

mud?

Trey Gerrald:

Mutt, like a mixed breed dog.

Trey Gerrald:

A mutt.

Chelsey Donn:

OH MUTT!

Chelsey Donn:

Oh wow.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Faux fur day, bartender day, brownie day, pretend to be a time traveler day, app day.

Trey Gerrald:

Today, december 15th, unless you're listening late is cupcake day.

Trey Gerrald:

We also have a date nut bread day coffee cake day, girl, me too day, barbershop day, yellow

Trey Gerrald:

Then I just to complete my complaint.

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsey, do you know what national holidays are observed on your day of birth?

Trey Gerrald:

Which is June 22nd.

Chelsey Donn:

Are they bad?

Trey Gerrald:

Kissing Day.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, I like that.

Trey Gerrald:

Don't know why that's not Valentine's day.

Trey Gerrald:

HVAC tech day,

Chelsey Donn:

HVAC tech day?!

Trey Gerrald:

Same as you Baby,.

Trey Gerrald:

And then onions also onion ring day,

Chelsey Donn:

which I don't like onion rings.

Trey Gerrald:

You want to hear what nationally holiday celebration?

Trey Gerrald:

days, on my day of birth, which is March 14th, PI day, PI.

Trey Gerrald:

That makes sense.

Trey Gerrald:

Sure.

Trey Gerrald:

Learn about butterflies day.

Trey Gerrald:

And potato chip day.

Trey Gerrald:

Anyway, I hate these.

Trey Gerrald:

I hate them.

Trey Gerrald:

I hate when they pop, it seems like every other day is dog day.

Trey Gerrald:

Every it's like, why?

Trey Gerrald:

Why, why?

Chelsey Donn:

Marketing!

Trey Gerrald:

It's just, it makes me so angry.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't care.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't care that it's celebrate pumpkin butterfly cupcake day.

Trey Gerrald:

Get out of town.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't care.

Trey Gerrald:

I hate it.

Trey Gerrald:

It's so obnoxious.

Trey Gerrald:

Just be creative.

Trey Gerrald:

When you post things online, you don't need an excuse.

Trey Gerrald:

And that's my complaint.

Chelsey Donn:

Complaint lodged added to the ledger.

Chelsey Donn:

Completely agree.

Chelsey Donn:

It's gotten out of hand.

Chelsey Donn:

It started with the hashtags and Instagram, I think really, really up the

Trey Gerrald:

Especially because no one knows what it is until you see that someone else has posted.

Trey Gerrald:

And then you're like, "Oh!"

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

And then I feel bad.

Chelsey Donn:

Like, oh, I didn't post a picture of my dog on national dog day or national pet day or national.

Chelsey Donn:

Animal.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know.

Chelsey Donn:

It's just too many things.

Chelsey Donn:

National puppy day.

Trey Gerrald:

Exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

Whatever.

Trey Gerrald:

Alright, that's my complaint.

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsey.

Trey Gerrald:

What about you about your complaint?

Trey Gerrald:

That happens quite a bit.

Chelsey Donn:

I want to complain about junk mail.

Chelsey Donn:

Have we done this before?

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know, but I think it's time if we haven't then, I mean, we're, we're sleeping at the wheel.

Chelsey Donn:

Like what is with the junk mail?

Chelsey Donn:

I feel like every day it gets worse.

Chelsey Donn:

You know how they say you spend like.

Chelsey Donn:

However much percentage of your life asleep.

Chelsey Donn:

Like it's like you spend a third of your life asleep.

Chelsey Donn:

I think there's a very heavy portion of that chart.

Chelsey Donn:

That is me just deleting emails.

Chelsey Donn:

I think I've unsubscribed from best buy, like six times.

Chelsey Donn:

And yet it keeps happening.

Trey Gerrald:

It's like promotion@bestbuydotcom, salesrepatbestbuy.com, email twice

Chelsey Donn:

UnBelievable.

Chelsey Donn:

I spend so much of my time, like any time that I have free from doing other things, you

Chelsey Donn:

I'm, you know, I'm kind of OCD.

Chelsey Donn:

So I really do not like my email inbox to be overloaded.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like, seriously bothers me.

Chelsey Donn:

Like if I have 20 emails that are kind of unread, they're 20 emails that are unread for

Chelsey Donn:

Otherwise get out of there cause I need to stay focused.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, just the amount of time.

Chelsey Donn:

What are we going to do about it?

Chelsey Donn:

Try it.

Chelsey Donn:

How do we fix.

Trey Gerrald:

I hadn't really thought about that.

Trey Gerrald:

It is something that I will mindlessly do throughout the day.

Trey Gerrald:

I was like, cause I like to keep my email clean.

Trey Gerrald:

I wasn't even conscious that I do that.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm also someone that cannot have a bubble notification.

Trey Gerrald:

Like a text.

Trey Gerrald:

I can't have the red circle.

Trey Gerrald:

No, no, no.

Trey Gerrald:

I can't know that like, something has been unintended to, and it's something that I've

Trey Gerrald:

And then I would delete it, which I don't know what that says about me.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause I emails.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't even open the email.

Chelsey Donn:

I just like in the iPhone, I just do a slide.

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Trey Gerrald:

But I used to be so neurotic that I had to open it.

Trey Gerrald:

I wouldn't even look at it.

Trey Gerrald:

I just needed the color to change.

Trey Gerrald:

Showing that it had been opened before I would delete it.

Chelsey Donn:

That's a commitment.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

So that's even more time then try.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, imagine if we added up all that time, I think both of us would be very upset.

Trey Gerrald:

You know, it makes me think about waiting in long lines, which I think,

Chelsey Donn:

oh might be appropriate!

Trey Gerrald:

it makes me think about something that has, uh, been on my mind.

Trey Gerrald:

And I think that it's time Chelsey for you and I to go, Head-To-Head!

Chelsey Donn:

Let's do it.

Chelsey Donn:

I got my boxing gloves on when I was a kid, my S my dad bought boxing gloves for me and

Chelsey Donn:

Actually, if we had a fight, which some parents might say it was bad parenting,

Trey Gerrald:

I appreciate your father's commitment to non gender stereotypes.

Trey Gerrald:

I applaud that it's very progressive for that.

Trey Gerrald:

The eighties.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, I'm ready.

Chelsey Donn:

I got my gloves on.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's do this!

Trey Gerrald:

Alright here we go.

VOICEOVER:

Assess That Kvetch!

Trey Gerrald:

All right, everyone.

Trey Gerrald:

Today is yet again a VERSUS episode.

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsey and I are going to cover a one star review and a five star review

Chelsey Donn:

That's right, Santa, get that beard nice and tight.

Chelsey Donn:

So for this versus episode, that was very weird...

Trey Gerrald:

[laughter]

Chelsey Donn:

I just meant because when it's fake, it's like they could just

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Now we need to say what SantaLand is in case anyone is confused.

Trey Gerrald:

I did write this down.

Chelsey Donn:

Miracle on 34th Street, the like newer one with, with Mara Wilson.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, the newer being that it was the nineties,

Trey Gerrald:

but I think that the original took place there as well.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, really?

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Well I just the nineties one...

Trey Gerrald:

Well...Miracle on 34th street?

Chelsey Donn:

No, I know, but I'm just saying, oh, right.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm an idiot.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

There we go.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay, So just so everyone is up to snuff.

Trey Gerrald:

Santaland is very famous because in the early 1860s,

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, my God,

Trey Gerrald:

the Macy's department store headquarters, which is in Herald square,

Chelsey Donn:

I did not know this was since the 18 hundreds.

Chelsey Donn:

Wow.

Trey Gerrald:

The early 1860s.

Trey Gerrald:

So then, so their website claims that more than 200,000 guests have visited Santaland inside

Trey Gerrald:

Since 1977, they weren't tallying people prior to 1977.

Trey Gerrald:

So it's been even more so.

Trey Gerrald:

And it's, you know, it's just a wonderful Macy's tradition that started at that flagship store.

Trey Gerrald:

And also most people will know that Macy's right in front of their, store.

Trey Gerrald:

They host the Thanksgiving day parade and the Christmas day parade.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes, the Macy's day parade.

Chelsey Donn:

And also it's very competitive to be the Santa.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, because it's the real one, right?

Chelsey Donn:

You don't have kids listening to those.

Trey Gerrald:

I know we should sort of say like, don't let kids listen to us because

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

So that's what Santaland is in case anyone didn't really know.

Trey Gerrald:

So it's like the most premium version of like the mall Santa Claus.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, the creme de la creme

Trey Gerrald:

and it is a village that is like taking over multiple levels and multiple floors.

Trey Gerrald:

If you're on Patreon, you can see just like a tiny portion of it on Chelsey green

Trey Gerrald:

I've never been.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

And they start pretty early.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

They start like in November, like very they're there on this.

Trey Gerrald:

I would imagine it's After Thanksgiving, maybe even the week of Thanksgiving.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

This is a versus episode and Trey selected the five-star.

Chelsey Donn:

I selected the one-star.

Chelsey Donn:

We got to figure out who's going to go first.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey's got the quarter ready?

Chelsey Donn:

I think.

Chelsey Donn:

Am I guessing you guess this time?

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

So I'm going to get swept that quarter.

Trey Gerrald:

Try.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm going to catch up this time unlike, okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Four

Chelsey Donn:

weeks ago.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Heads!

Chelsey Donn:

...it's tails.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

That's fine.

Chelsey Donn:

I've, I've been on a losing streak with a quarter, but that means we are going to hear the five

Chelsey Donn:

RQ T

Trey Gerrald:

okay, here we go.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So I was really stock with choosing between these two.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, I think it is worthy of me doing the other one on the Patreon on the after

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So today I have a five star review from Yelp that is written by Marianne W.

Trey Gerrald:

Now, Marianne-

Chelsey Donn:

Do you think it's Marianne Williamson?

Trey Gerrald:

It's not, which I love that you just asked.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, because I've been, uh, we're gonna get.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay, you do need to know that Marianne is an elite reviewer.

Trey Gerrald:

They have written over 2,500 reviews.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my god.

Chelsey Donn:

That's a lot.

Chelsey Donn:

That's like more time than the emails.

Trey Gerrald:

They have attached 39,742 images.

Trey Gerrald:

And whatever the person logo means.

Trey Gerrald:

It says 5,000.

Chelsey Donn:

So I think that that's the people that have like, clicked.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I liked it.

Chelsey Donn:

I thought it was funny.

Chelsey Donn:

It was helpful.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So this is the five star review from Mariannie W.

Trey Gerrald:

Possibly debatable.

Trey Gerrald:

And this is from Yelp for Macy's Santaland.

Trey Gerrald:

Santaland is a land of fantasy and dreams.

Trey Gerrald:

It's also a huge money-making machine.

Trey Gerrald:

Every year it's set up and the space fills with wide eyes and open mouths.

Trey Gerrald:

The twinkling lights are a treat for your eyes.

Trey Gerrald:

The sweet delights will be tantalizing your taste buds as you navigate the space.

Trey Gerrald:

I can't forget to mention Santa.

Trey Gerrald:

He visits every year.

Trey Gerrald:

I remember the only time my parents brought me when I was little.

Trey Gerrald:

I wanted a Susie Walker doll that Christmas, when he asked me if I had been good, I said, yes.

Trey Gerrald:

Then he asked if I ate all my peas, typical question in the 1950s, I lied and

Trey Gerrald:

Guess what?

Trey Gerrald:

I got the doll that Christmas morning.

Trey Gerrald:

In fact, looking back at the pictures from that year, I believe it is my most

Trey Gerrald:

The time when you have not been jaded by the cruel reality of life.

Trey Gerrald:

Our financial situation changed dramatically shortly after.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, that's my story about Santa's land.

Trey Gerrald:

When I dig out my holiday decorations, I may find the photos from that year.

Trey Gerrald:

I will try to remember to post them here.

Trey Gerrald:

I was a cute little devil........

Trey Gerrald:

what?

Trey Gerrald:

That's not a Review of Santaland!.

Chelsey Donn:

I just, I'm starting to wonder how Mariannee things that Yelp should be.

Chelsey Donn:

The lead reviewer.

Chelsey Donn:

She's she must put, she must really get into it.

Chelsey Donn:

It's almost like a short story.

Chelsey Donn:

I was trying to think.

Chelsey Donn:

What is Marianne Jean?

Chelsey Donn:

Maybe it is Marianne Williamson.

Trey Gerrald:

So, 78 people have found it useful.

Trey Gerrald:

49 people found it funny and 71 found it.

Trey Gerrald:

Cool.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

What.

Chelsey Donn:

I like, because I got so lost in the story.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, were we ever given any information about Santaland or was it just like my experience?

Chelsey Donn:

This is my personal narrative essay for my college admissions, about

Trey Gerrald:

What I get from Marianne's Review was that Marianne went once in the 1950s-

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

And left a review three years ago.

Chelsey Donn:

[laughter]

Chelsey Donn:

I think you're right.

Chelsey Donn:

That's why, like, honestly, it was sort of a twist at the end when-

Trey Gerrald:

It got so dark when they lost the money.

Chelsey Donn:

Dark about the financial changes.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I actually like gasped.

Chelsey Donn:

It was just so sad.

Chelsey Donn:

I felt so bad for Marianne's family.

Chelsey Donn:

Also.

Chelsey Donn:

I thought it was funny when she was like, I was a cute little devil.

Chelsey Donn:

Like how old do we think Marianne is?

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, if they were a kid that wanted a doll

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah

Trey Gerrald:

and was asked if they ate their peas in the 1950s there,

Chelsey Donn:

They were probably born in the forties,

Trey Gerrald:

I would think.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

I would think they would be around under 10 probably.

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

So they're at least late fifties sixties now.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, that's wait.

Chelsey Donn:

No, they're way older than that.

Chelsey Donn:

If they're born in the forties.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, 70 you're right.

Trey Gerrald:

You're right, right.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, I'm I like, I'm thinking it's like 2000.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, I do that all the time and then they have attached a bunch of images that are not pictures

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Do we think that those are like stock images?

Chelsey Donn:

Or do we think that Marianne just walked by the window and takes pictures?

Trey Gerrald:

I think based on like the angle of the camera and like the quality of the images,

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, at least there's that.

Chelsey Donn:

So I don't really know why I I'm not, really able to break down the psychology, but I

Chelsey Donn:

Very seriously.

Chelsey Donn:

Marianne sees something on the street.

Chelsey Donn:

Doesn't matter if she's gone inside or not.

Chelsey Donn:

She's gonna write a review about it.

Trey Gerrald:

Mmm, I can draw that conclusion from this because Marianne

Trey Gerrald:

It's a moneymaking machine.

Trey Gerrald:

But boy, those twinkling lights are a treat and there are some delicious

Trey Gerrald:

It's like I'm doing a tongue twister.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, that's why I was like, when did they?

Chelsey Donn:

Cause I was like, I remember at one point they did give some information that

Chelsey Donn:

I wrote down that they said that it was a money-making machine.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause I actually like that.

Chelsey Donn:

They said that like, and it's a five star review.

Chelsey Donn:

Like that, kind of makes me feel better when they're like, it is a money-making

Chelsey Donn:

So that message I think is a, is a good one.

Trey Gerrald:

But I tell you it's free.

Trey Gerrald:

You don't there's no admission fee.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

It's drawing a crowd into Macy's and you're online and

Chelsey Donn:

Like Macy's, isn't dumb.

Chelsey Donn:

They haven't been doing this for a thousand years,

Trey Gerrald:

but to your point here, Marianne begins this review with five

Trey Gerrald:

Oop, I can't forget to mention Santa.

Trey Gerrald:

And then it's two paragraphs about their personal experience from 70 years.

Chelsey Donn:

Do we think that Macy's keeps the tradition exactly the same?

Chelsey Donn:

Like do you think that Marianne having this memory is, you know, an indication that a

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So I am not sure, but I do think that the value that comes from this hilarious, like

Trey Gerrald:

Okay, who is in their possible seventies?

Trey Gerrald:

That is so vivid that they did take the time to go back and write a review because it is

Chelsey Donn:

That's what I'm saying.

Chelsey Donn:

I, I take, you know, writing classes sometimes.

Chelsey Donn:

And in one of my writing classes, one of the things we do is we, we sort of archive

Chelsey Donn:

Like we take, you know, 20 minutes and zero to five, five to 10, et cetera.

Chelsey Donn:

And you're sometimes amazed by like, wow, this trip to Macy's where I had

Chelsey Donn:

It's that was a memory that I didn't realize I have.

Chelsey Donn:

And sometimes you then end up taking that and putting it into the film, right.

Chelsey Donn:

Because it was like, did you eat your peas?

Chelsey Donn:

And then it's this whole narrative about how you did it, but you lie,

Chelsey Donn:

And that was like this like high, high moment.

Chelsey Donn:

That was like the top before you took the rollercoaster way, way, way down.

Chelsey Donn:

So I think that there's story here, there's imagery.

Chelsey Donn:

And it's very interesting.

Chelsey Donn:

I just wonder if, Marianne.

Chelsey Donn:

Almost does this exercise.

Chelsey Donn:

And then every time one of her memories is associated with something, she plucks it out

Trey Gerrald:

You know, we will never know.

Chelsey Donn:

Do you think that if we submitted this on Marianne's

Chelsey Donn:

It's possible.

Chelsey Donn:

She would place.

Trey Gerrald:

I think that you could turn this into a lifetime movie.

Trey Gerrald:

No question.

Trey Gerrald:

I think so.

Trey Gerrald:

That's going to be a hallmark movie.

Chelsey Donn:

Do you think we should option this review?

Chelsey Donn:

Trey?

Chelsey Donn:

Should we, should we get the iP?

Trey Gerrald:

I'm not that interested, but I think someone should.

Trey Gerrald:

Here's a look, another shark take.

Trey Gerrald:

I hear you GO!

Chelsey Donn:

look at that.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

And I'm assuming that the spelling grammar was great..

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, it may be, you are right here.

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Trey Gerrald:

Marianne really took a long time to craft it.

Trey Gerrald:

the plosives and the, yeah, very like

Chelsey Donn:

the descriptive language.

Chelsey Donn:

And it, you know, I really do like to know the personal, I really do like to know this

Chelsey Donn:

For me in a world where there's so many bots, first of all, the specificity

Chelsey Donn:

And also, it really makes me believe that this is a truthful experience and it's a unique experience

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So is this, a common experience, I can expect our was this a fluke.

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, it was 70 years.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, that's why it's hard to say.

Chelsey Donn:

That's why I'm wondering, like, I hate to say it.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause again, thank you Marianne, for all the details that you gave us, but no, I don't

Trey Gerrald:

I would imagine.

Trey Gerrald:

And today's culture is probably not allowed to ask if you've eaten your peas.

Trey Gerrald:

I think they can probably ask if you've been good or bad, but I think you probably

Trey Gerrald:

Or like, what if someone has something, you know, it's like, I feel like they

Chelsey Donn:

Sometimes I hate like, no, it's fine.

Trey Gerrald:

Do you know what a Susie Walker at all is?

Chelsey Donn:

No.

Chelsey Donn:

Like maybe like our parents would.

Trey Gerrald:

Also, she, uh, Marianne capitalizes Christmas morning.

Trey Gerrald:

Both times that they say it.

Chelsey Donn:

What do you think Marianne's job was?

Chelsey Donn:

Or is?

Trey Gerrald:

Bird's eye and does microwaveable peas.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

I think you're so right.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, so was there humor in this?

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, it was funny that they like got, so like to your point, like a little bit

Trey Gerrald:

I don't think that there's any information here other than here's my five-star review.

Trey Gerrald:

From 70 years ago and it is burned and to my body as a positive experience.

Trey Gerrald:

And that's pretty good.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

And if we're going by like brass tacks though, of I'm going to Yelp, because

Chelsey Donn:

Shouldn't I do this.

Chelsey Donn:

If we're being honest, there's really no information here that

Chelsey Donn:

I would have to do a lot more

Chelsey Donn:

- Trey Gerrald: deeper digging.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

You know, in order to figure it out.

Chelsey Donn:

Do we think we're ready to crown?

Trey Gerrald:

I think I'm ready to crown Marianne.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and an effort to

Trey Gerrald:

We will simultaneously reveal our ratings

VOICEOVER:

The Queens are tabulating.

Trey Gerrald:

You ready?

Chelsey Donn:

I'm ready.

VOICEOVER:

Total score

Chelsey Donn:

Okay, I'm holding up two crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey is holding up two and a half crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

I'll go first.

Chelsey Donn:

I gave Marianne two crowns cause I, I liked her passion and I liked that she

Chelsey Donn:

I liked getting to know about her personal life and I liked getting to know

Chelsey Donn:

Profound memory, uh, from going to Macy's Santaland.

Chelsey Donn:

But that was really all I could give Marianne.

Chelsey Donn:

I had to take all of the rest of the crowns away because there wasn't a lot of information there

Chelsey Donn:

So that was why I gave Mariannee two crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

Try.

Chelsey Donn:

Why did you give Marianne two and a half?

Trey Gerrald:

So I did two and a half because it's a little less than middle of the road to me.

Trey Gerrald:

I do find this to be an, an empty room.

Trey Gerrald:

Other than what we've like, literally beaten over the head is like, okay,

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

But you know, if you haven't been here and over 50 years or 70 years, Should you write a

Trey Gerrald:

So, you know, for that reason I did two and a half, not exactly middle of the road.

Trey Gerrald:

Uh, I mean, there was some substance, but really lacking.

Trey Gerrald:

So that was why I did two and a half.

Chelsey Donn:

Great.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

I think that, it's funny to me that you think middle of the road is Three, because

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, I, well, I guess it is now that we have these.

Trey Gerrald:

half card.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

Good.

Trey Gerrald:

Good.

Chelsey Donn:

So you gave it a full middle of the road.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

So let's take a quick break.

Trey Gerrald:

And when we come back, we're going to hear Chelsey's a one star review of Macy santaland.

Trey Gerrald:

And boy, I can't wait to hear that.

Chelsey Donn:

I love it BRB

VOICEOVER:

Hold your crown.

VOICEOVER:

We'll be right back.

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsey and I are so excited to share this exclusive Review

Trey Gerrald:

Now from the makers of BarkBox super chewer as a monthly subscription-based service

Trey Gerrald:

That is loaded with two tough toys to meet.

Trey Gerrald:

And two full sized bags of treats that are customizable for allergy and diet preferences.

Trey Gerrald:

Super chewer is offering listeners of Review That Review one extra month free when you use our link.

Trey Gerrald:

Super chewer.com/queen.

Trey Gerrald:

Sign up right now at super chewer.com/queen.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know if you guys remember when I had the bandaid on my finger,

Chelsey Donn:

Thank God.

Chelsey Donn:

She has something else to chew on, besides my fingers, as I'm going gonna say.

Trey Gerrald:

So did you get a subscription?

Chelsey Donn:

I have my sister sign me up for a subscription, which is very kind of her.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, it's been extremely helpful just saying.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's come back.

Trey Gerrald:

That's my Christmas bell, but it's not our Christmas episode.

Trey Gerrald:

That's next week.

Trey Gerrald:

Anyway, Chelsey, it's time for us to take a non Christmas episode,

Chelsey Donn:

it's game time.

VOICEOVER:

I feel like an icon most of the day is I feel like 'I can't!' that's with an,.

VOICEOVER:

A'..

Chelsey Donn:

Here's the deal.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on

Trey Gerrald:

Just like queen Meryl Streep, who does it all.

Chelsey Donn:

Before the clock runs out.

Trey Gerrald:

Alright Chels.

Trey Gerrald:

Whatcha got?

Chelsey Donn:

You guys know, I love bringing in unique products that I didn't even know existed.

Chelsey Donn:

So right now I'm going to read you guys a one-star review for Swiss Miss Lucky Charms

Chelsey Donn:

Just saying.

Chelsey Donn:

So- magically delicious they're magically.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know if I'm like gross out or intrigued.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like somewhere between the tail, but I do know what contact1320 thought.

Chelsey Donn:

Contact 1320 gave Swiss miss lucky charms mix one star.

Chelsey Donn:

Their title of their review is no.

Chelsey Donn:

Coco hot cocoa mix and the Review!

Chelsey Donn:

is no hot cocoa mix at all.

Chelsey Donn:

Only marshmallows with no punctuation.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

So today Chelsey, I'm going to strap you in on David Sedaris' one

Trey Gerrald:

God probably being done somewhere at a community theater near you.

Trey Gerrald:

I love that.

Trey Gerrald:

Thanks.

Trey Gerrald:

I am ready.

Trey Gerrald:

Here we go.

VOICEOVER:

TLC reality show,

VOICEOVER:

no hot cocoa mix at all.

VOICEOVER:

Only marshmallows filling.

VOICEOVER:

No hot cocoa mix at all.

VOICEOVER:

Holy marshmallows

VOICEOVER:

televangelist, no

VOICEOVER:

hot cocoa mix at all.

VOICEOVER:

Auctioneer

VOICEOVER:

only marshmallows, no hot cocoa mix.

VOICEOVER:

It all only marshmallows.

VOICEOVER:

That's all.

Chelsey Donn:

I was imagining that I was like a barista on my TLC reality

Trey Gerrald:

Oh for Bartender day!.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

For national bartender day.

Trey Gerrald:

So you got 'em five.

Trey Gerrald:

Good job.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you.

Chelsey Donn:

I've really been, trying to be more specific about my performance.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Try tell us where your One-Star-Zinger is from today.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So I have a one star review from show first new site, Goldstar.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know what it is.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, so this is a one-star review for the radio city music hall, Christmas

Trey Gerrald:

This was a Review!

Trey Gerrald:

was written by Maria A'.

Trey Gerrald:

panto.

Trey Gerrald:

Ha Burgas.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay, so this is written by Maria B

Trey Gerrald:

APAD, togas, Fergus.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know if A'.

Trey Gerrald:

is the middle name or I thought Pinto ha better goals.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, so Marie, okay.

Trey Gerrald:

P okay.

Trey Gerrald:

This is from Maria.

Trey Gerrald:

This is Maria is one star zinger.

Trey Gerrald:

We had greats.

Trey Gerrald:

Thanks.

Trey Gerrald:

Loved and enjoyed the,

Chelsey Donn:

so why is it one star?

Trey Gerrald:

Wait.

Trey Gerrald:

I didn't even finish.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh God.

Trey Gerrald:

we had greats.

Trey Gerrald:

Thanks.

Trey Gerrald:

Loved and enjoyed the show.

Trey Gerrald:

My family.

Trey Gerrald:

And it's a one-star review

Chelsey Donn:

and it's one star.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

So there's a little bit of a confusion for Maria PEI.

Chelsey Donn:

Maybe in Maria.

Chelsey Donn:

He is mined one means five.

Chelsey Donn:

Like number one.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know, but Maria has left four other reviews on gold star, so.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, okay.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, good to know.

Trey Gerrald:

So what am I strapped in on?

Chelsey Donn:

You're strapped into a sled?

Chelsey Donn:

Try.

Chelsey Donn:

So get yourself ready.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause a sled is the thing I was like very terrified of as a child, like does

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm ready.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's do this.

VOICEOVER:

Courtroom drama.

VOICEOVER:

We had greats.

VOICEOVER:

Thanks, loved and enjoyed the show.

VOICEOVER:

My family, adult

VOICEOVER:

film,

VOICEOVER:

we had

VOICEOVER:

grades loved and enjoyed the show like

VOICEOVER:

pop star.

VOICEOVER:

Family

VOICEOVER:

Shakespeare.

VOICEOVER:

We had great saints loved and enjoyed the show.

VOICEOVER:

My family

Chelsey Donn:

No Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

We might've that's four what did I get?

Trey Gerrald:

You got five.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh I won!

Chelsey Donn:

It's a Christmas miracle...

Chelsey Donn:

on 34th street.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm so proud of you see your streak, your back, your you're a winner.

Chelsey Donn:

And I really tried to commit to the performance.

Chelsey Donn:

I hope it came across.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

We are back from that game break.

Trey Gerrald:

And now it is Chelsey's turn.

Chelsey Donn:

It is my turn.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's do it.

Chelsey Donn:

I have a one-star review of Macy's Santaland.

Chelsey Donn:

It is also from Yelp.

Chelsey Donn:

Uh, it is written by Tara C, Tara C is not an elite reviewer, but Tara, he

Chelsey Donn:

Um, this Review!

Chelsey Donn:

was written.

Chelsey Donn:

A little over two years ago.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

And this is Tara C!

Chelsey Donn:

Warning!

Chelsey Donn:

This experience will ruin Christmas.

Chelsey Donn:

This is the first Review I've ever written on Yelp because I feel compelled to spare some

Chelsey Donn:

Beside the fact that although having a reservation on a Tuesday mid day, my family, eight year

Chelsey Donn:

I know, I know it's Christmas time in New York city.

Chelsey Donn:

I expected to wait, but not in a tiny red hallway, getting jammed in by elves and probably

Chelsey Donn:

Had I known at the beginning, how long it would take, we would have left, but carry on we did.

Chelsey Donn:

Santaland once you actually get in is a joke.

Chelsey Donn:

Everything seems old and just gross.

Chelsey Donn:

I didn't want my kids touching anything.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm attaching a photo of the Santa.

Chelsey Donn:

We finally did see, go ahead and zoom in.

Chelsey Donn:

I need to write no more on that.

Chelsey Donn:

Seriously Macy's?

Chelsey Donn:

This was the best Santa you could get?

Chelsey Donn:

Had my children not had a really incredible experience elsewhere, this Macy's Santa

Chelsey Donn:

I'd never get them to believe after this.

Chelsey Donn:

My eight year old gasped when she saw Santa and said, "Oh my God!

Chelsey Donn:

This is the fakest Santa I've ever seen!"

Chelsey Donn:

My four-year-old wondered why kids were going into different rooms with different Santas.

Chelsey Donn:

So unless you want to ruin the Christmas magic for your children, do not come here.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, we got to zoom in on this photo, which I like...

Chelsey Donn:

it's definitely a fake beard.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

And like I said before, ordinarily, like it was quite an honor to be the Macy's Santa,

Chelsey Donn:

Um, or relatives of Santa, I guess.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know.

Chelsey Donn:

I know a few people that dress as Santa and they all have real beards.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, I would think that you would have that, that would be a prereq requisite,

Chelsey Donn:

but yeah this Santa is definitely, does not have a real beard.

Chelsey Donn:

Can't really get a good gauge on the age of this Santa, but the Santa

Chelsey Donn:

Fake eyebrows, fake white curly hair coming out of the hat that being said,

Chelsey Donn:

Right?

Chelsey Donn:

No?

Trey Gerrald:

Here I'm going to share so that Patreon can see, yeah, it's a nice costume.

Trey Gerrald:

It feels a little Nordic to me.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, I think it's a decent Santa wardrobe.

Trey Gerrald:

It seems to me that this, this man is probably in his forties.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

I agreed.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm just really tripped up by these eyebrows.

Chelsey Donn:

The eyebrows are pretty bad.

Chelsey Donn:

Whoever, whoever did the eyebrow wig job.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, the thing that was most disturbing to me about this Review!

Chelsey Donn:

I guess I will say not yes, disturbing, but also impactful was the, the idea that there

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

Because they get well, but they get, I mean, you would think that they would

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

Do you think they just got the raw end of the deal here?

Chelsey Donn:

And that's why they're in this like cramped hallway, because that's how they differentiate

Chelsey Donn:

Like they there's different waiting area line areas and they just got pushed to the corner.

Trey Gerrald:

I literally, I have no idea how it works, but I do know that they have different.

Trey Gerrald:

They have a selection of different kinds of Santas.

Trey Gerrald:

One can get, you can make a special request for that.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh really?

Chelsey Donn:

I didn't know that.

Trey Gerrald:

but I don't know how it works out.

Trey Gerrald:

That's like listed in the FAQ on the website was the only reason I have that, but I

Trey Gerrald:

Cause it seems pretty rough.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, it's definitely not what I would imagine.

Chelsey Donn:

The caliber of the, you know, Macy's Santa would be like, I, I was very surprised.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So I do think that this is pretty valuable.

Trey Gerrald:

I, I kind of side with Tara on this.

Trey Gerrald:

I have a couple of thoughts here though.

Trey Gerrald:

Like if, if you're a little precocious, eight year old is gasping.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh my gosh, this is the fakest I've ever seen.

Trey Gerrald:

I think, I think.

Trey Gerrald:

Daughter needs to get coal and her stocking something about that as

Chelsey Donn:

a little too precocious,

Trey Gerrald:

but I also get like if the eight year old doesn't even believe that.

Trey Gerrald:

Then maybe you're failing at the whole point of Santaland.

Chelsey Donn:

Right?

Trey Gerrald:

The whole thing about it.

Trey Gerrald:

It does also make me start thinking about what it would be like to be hired at Santa

Chelsey Donn:

But I think that when you're, but that's the, that's the responsibility you take.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, every job that you have comes with some sort of,

Trey Gerrald:

it is funny to me that at the beginning Tara says, we were jammed in by Elves.

Trey Gerrald:

That sounds like a really funny album.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Also, yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Also very cinematic, you know, like I felt like I could see.

Chelsey Donn:

In Elf...

Chelsey Donn:

Was that supposed to be Macy's too?

Trey Gerrald:

I'm positive.

Trey Gerrald:

And Christmas story is like a fake version of it.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

What's the spelling like here?

Chelsey Donn:

I think spelling and grammar is great.

Chelsey Donn:

I didn't notice any complaints we did when I was obviously exaggerating.

Chelsey Donn:

We did use some caps throughout, um, some exclamation points, but not really like

Chelsey Donn:

It was just like a little bit sprinkled in, which is fine with me, really

Trey Gerrald:

Do you think Tara's being truthful or shady?

Trey Gerrald:

I think

Chelsey Donn:

Tara is being truthful.

Chelsey Donn:

I would believe that maybe the whole Macy's experience has lost its luster.

Chelsey Donn:

That's why with the first Review!

Chelsey Donn:

I think there's something very like nostolgic, and pure about Macy's in the 1950s.

Chelsey Donn:

And I think today dealing with the masses of people.

Chelsey Donn:

The population alone has gone up tremendously since then.

Chelsey Donn:

So, you know, dealing with the crowds and everything that you have to account for

Trey Gerrald:

I believe that the children didn't buy it.

Trey Gerrald:

And I believe Tara, when Tara shares that the four year old noticed and said,

Trey Gerrald:

But I.

Trey Gerrald:

It feels a little shady.

Trey Gerrald:

Like if that is the issue, like Tara was already done.

Trey Gerrald:

By the fact that they still had to wait after making a reservation, which

Chelsey Donn:

well I've been upset.

Chelsey Donn:

Like, what do we want to say about that?

Chelsey Donn:

Because like, I think waiting a half hour after a reservation is okay, but I think

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know, like, I don't know how hectic and crazy it gets there, but in my

Chelsey Donn:

Sorry.

Chelsey Donn:

At very least like we're having people that have reservations waiting online for two hours.

Trey Gerrald:

There is a question there, but then about everything looking

Trey Gerrald:

And then put back up, so like, sure.

Trey Gerrald:

Here's a question.

Trey Gerrald:

Is it the same stuff from 1950?

Chelsey Donn:

Well, that's what I'm saying.

Chelsey Donn:

I think it might be, even if it is taken down and placed back into place for the next season,

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, I don't know, I don't work for Macy's, but I'm sure that it's.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm sure they have their like nostalgic evergreen pieces that return every year.

Trey Gerrald:

But I would imagine it continues to change.

Trey Gerrald:

Like I'm sure that I'm sure that's not the Santa Claus seat, but I don't know maybe.

Chelsey Donn:

So this is what I'm hearing from you.

Chelsey Donn:

And I think I'm agreeing what I'm hearing for you is this might be a common

Chelsey Donn:

Is Is this a family that needs.

Chelsey Donn:

To be top of the line.

Chelsey Donn:

Everything has to be pristine and perfect.

Chelsey Donn:

And if it's not, then it's terrible.

Chelsey Donn:

Like there's no gray area for Tara C and fam you know, with the fake is sand I've ever seen.

Chelsey Donn:

Like that kind of stuff.

Chelsey Donn:

Is that where you're struggling?

Trey Gerrald:

I guess I just sort of feel like Santa himself was a disappointment.

Trey Gerrald:

And then in writing the review, I feel like Tara was just.

Trey Gerrald:

Undone with everything.

Trey Gerrald:

Sure.

Trey Gerrald:

Children are the most germy things that exist in the world.

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

So saying I don't want my kids to touch anything and you're inside

Trey Gerrald:

I think Tara is protesting too much because Tara was really disappointed.

Trey Gerrald:

That being said, if I'm taking my children to this make-believe character under the

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, point blank.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, that's the thing is I feel like Tara C brought up a lot of concerns

Chelsey Donn:

but I, I hear universal a lot of, like, there was a lot of knocking on things which tends

Chelsey Donn:

Right?

Chelsey Donn:

Correct.

Chelsey Donn:

So we do have to consider that it's.

Chelsey Donn:

As gross or as fake or as whatever

Trey Gerrald:

maybe it is, or maybe it is.

Trey Gerrald:

But I do think the big value is that you're probably going to be waiting.

Chelsey Donn:

I know, I wonder what I would do to adjust accordingly

Trey Gerrald:

I think I, I think I can crown this.

Trey Gerrald:

How do you feel?

Chelsey Donn:

I feel a bit conflicted, but um, I'm going to crown it.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's do it.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's do it.

VOICEOVER:

The queens are tabulating!

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, I'm conflicted too, but okay.

Trey Gerrald:

I think I'm ready or you

Chelsey Donn:

see I'm conflicted, but yeah,

VOICEOVER:

Total Score!

Chelsey Donn:

Great.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey and I are anonymous.

Chelsey Donn:

We both gave three and a half.

Chelsey Donn:

I was between three and a half and four.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know if you were between three and three and a half.

Chelsey Donn:

Why don't you go first?

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

I just said three and a half because I don't think that I would read

Trey Gerrald:

Same with the five-star review from before I need more context here.

Trey Gerrald:

I would want to, this is once again, just army me with information about like, I

Trey Gerrald:

And I need to like brace myself, like I'm going to Disney world and it's

Trey Gerrald:

Or agreed.

Trey Gerrald:

And I would imagine that the kids are going to want to touch everything.

Trey Gerrald:

So I want to like, see if it's dirty and gross because everything's

Trey Gerrald:

So like, to me, I don't really know how I land, so I gave a half more than middle of the road.

Trey Gerrald:

Uh, so that's why I did three and a half.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

Why did you do.

Chelsey Donn:

I did three and a half.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause I did feel like Tara C.

Chelsey Donn:

did provided me with a lot of information that I'm going to be chewing on before

Chelsey Donn:

Just like are other people having this experience to other people think it's

Chelsey Donn:

These are things that Tara has.

Chelsey Donn:

Piqued my interest in, and for that, I think it's a good review.

Chelsey Donn:

There was like, there were no spelling or grammar issues.

Chelsey Donn:

It was very easy to read.

Chelsey Donn:

I took away one and a half crowns because I wasn't sure if Tara C and family was a

Chelsey Donn:

So that was where they lost the one and a half crown for me.

Chelsey Donn:

But I did think it was a useful Review!

Chelsey Donn:

so three and a half.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, I hear ya.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I mean, I've never been to Santaland, I'm assuming you haven't either.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, don't assume I've never sat on Santa slap because I have really have sat on, I

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my Goodness.

Trey Gerrald:

Have you ever seen this picture?

Chelsey Donn:

No, I have not.

Chelsey Donn:

That is so there's a picture of Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

Patreon is seeing a picture of Trey getting spanked by Santa.

Chelsey Donn:

A good Santa.

Chelsey Donn:

I might add real beard and David is looking like, what?

Chelsey Donn:

Get off my man or what you're spanking my man, or what's happening here.

Chelsey Donn:

It's really, really cute.

Chelsey Donn:

You guys.

Trey Gerrald:

I'll share the story behind that on our Patreon.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

My dad had a patient that was a firefighter and also Santa Claus.

Chelsey Donn:

So a couple of times he drove by our house in the firetruck as Santa and I sat in his lap.

Chelsey Donn:

So my parents were not anti Santa by any means, even though we're jewish.

Chelsey Donn:

So.

Trey Gerrald:

You Just reminded me of, we used to have Santa drive through our neighborhood

Trey Gerrald:

Forgot about it.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I don't think that the five-star that I shared with for the episode today

Trey Gerrald:

Uh, but I would love to share the other one I found in our after-show podcast.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I can't wait to hear it,

Trey Gerrald:

but, um, I, you know, I think I would be charmed by Macy's.

Trey Gerrald:

Santaland and consider going, but it just isn't something I would be interested to be honest.

Trey Gerrald:

And it does, I really wouldn't dissipate it just being a mop scene.

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, it's like Harold square.

Trey Gerrald:

It's always a mob scene.

Trey Gerrald:

So like,

Chelsey Donn:

like, I feel like there is a similarity here to all the reviews that we do

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Or a lot of it.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

My queen.

Trey Gerrald:

So we have reached the most Regal portion of the show.

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsey.

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Trey Gerrald:

Who are you in ducting today?

Trey Gerrald:

For

VOICEOVER:

My Royal Highness.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm going to induct today.

Chelsey Donn:

Cheese.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's talk about it.

Chelsey Donn:

I just love cheese.

Chelsey Donn:

I've been trying to take account of my diet lately.

Chelsey Donn:

Not because I'm like restricted myself, but just because I'm trying to write things

Chelsey Donn:

It's a lot.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

All kinds of cheese.

Chelsey Donn:

Um, mostly like I love a Parmesan.

Chelsey Donn:

She is a Sahrawi.

Chelsey Donn:

Like it has like a wine Rhine going on.

Chelsey Donn:

It's delicious cheeses.

Chelsey Donn:

It's just so good.

Chelsey Donn:

It makes you feel better.

Chelsey Donn:

There is like dopamine or something.

Chelsey Donn:

I want to say in cheese, there's actually been research.

Chelsey Donn:

That's been done to show that cheese makes you feel better.

Chelsey Donn:

And I just love cheese.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, it's kind of like your love of fries.

Chelsey Donn:

Like if there's an option on a sandwich or something or a burger to add cheese.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes, please.

Chelsey Donn:

I will always exercise my right.

Chelsey Donn:

If I'm traveling somewhere with a vegan and we're splitting food.

Chelsey Donn:

We're not going to just say no cheese.

Chelsey Donn:

We're going to get the cheese on the side.

Chelsey Donn:

You know what I mean?

Chelsey Donn:

cheese will be included in most of my meals and for that.

Chelsey Donn:

And because we spend so much quality time together, me and she is, I just thought it

Chelsey Donn:

As My Royal Highness.

Trey Gerrald:

I hear you.

Trey Gerrald:

I love cheese as well.

Trey Gerrald:

I really do good one.

Chelsey Donn:

That's that?

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Try.

Chelsey Donn:

Who are you inducting for your Royal Highness today?

Trey Gerrald:

All right, so this actually was a recommendation, from my brother-in-law

Trey Gerrald:

That we haven't done this yet.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, now.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So get ready to scratch it off your last you're out of here.

Trey Gerrald:

I know I'm sure it's probably on that today.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm going to induct from My Royal Highness, DoorDash, Postmates, Uber eats.

Trey Gerrald:

Seamless.

Trey Gerrald:

Grub hub, all caviar delivery, all of these delivery services, Postmates, this

Trey Gerrald:

Right, right, right.

Trey Gerrald:

But this is like such a profound invention for me.

Trey Gerrald:

So true.

Trey Gerrald:

I remember when David and I lived on 23rd street and the ground floor was a Moonstruck

Trey Gerrald:

From underneath us, instead of getting in the elevator and going, I would, I would

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know if an American invented that.

Trey Gerrald:

It just seems so lazy.

Trey Gerrald:

Just like delivery of food.

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, it's like so genius and I have totally.

Trey Gerrald:

The utilize that I've used it when I've not felt well, or I felt like go out, you

Trey Gerrald:

Do you remember being a kid and ordering pizza?

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, it was like the most fun, like special events.

Trey Gerrald:

I just have to do it.

Chelsey Donn:

Or Even like, sometimes like I'll order it before I get

Chelsey Donn:

It's beautiful.

Trey Gerrald:

I love delivering I've even figured out how to do it in Key

Chelsey Donn:

Oh wow.

Trey Gerrald:

There's a couple of services there.

Trey Gerrald:

So therefore I did it.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm inducting all of these food delivery service app.

Trey Gerrald:

Uh, from My Royal Highness,

Chelsey Donn:

what a good, and I can't even believe it.

Chelsey Donn:

Wasn't on my list.

Trey Gerrald:

It wasn't on mine either.

Trey Gerrald:

So that's something I'm really grateful for.

Trey Gerrald:

Good point.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, Chelsey, do we have time for a Royal Review!?

Chelsey Donn:

I think we can make time.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey,

VOICEOVER:

Baby it's time for some Royal Reviews!

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Very exciting.

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsey today's Royal Review!

Trey Gerrald:

is from FiestaMaiden on apple podcasts.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Fiesta, maiden writes, five stars, amazing show.

Trey Gerrald:

I hate to brag, but I found this podcast before they even released any episodes.

Trey Gerrald:

The idea alone hooked me.

Trey Gerrald:

This is a true genius podcast idea.

Trey Gerrald:

And it's led by two individuals who really know how to put on a show!

Trey Gerrald:

With an original premise and fun presentation.

Trey Gerrald:

This show is going to go far!

Chelsey Donn:

From your lips to God's...

Chelsey Donn:

what do they say?

Trey Gerrald:

Ahhh!

Trey Gerrald:

Kenohorah!

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you so much FiestaMaiden.

Chelsey Donn:

And that is so, so sweet.

Trey Gerrald:

I love that found us before we had officially launched and

Chelsey Donn:

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean like really?

Chelsey Donn:

I'm so glad that you were hooked on the premise and then you're, you're

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

That's just incredible.

Chelsey Donn:

And you're a queen FiestaMaiden.

Trey Gerrald:

I love the name, FiestaMaiden.

Chelsey Donn:

Me too.

Trey Gerrald:

We have great listeners that use their creativity bones to make fun usernames.

Chelsey Donn:

Agreed.

Chelsey Donn:

We have the best.

Trey Gerrald:

HammondCheeseSandWitch someone's coming for you!

Trey Gerrald:

FiestaMaiden,

Chelsey Donn:

FiestaMaiden!

Chelsey Donn:

Can you imagine we should have FiestaMaiden and HammonCheese, like

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, so that's it.

Trey Gerrald:

Here we go.

Trey Gerrald:

It's episode 28, everyone.

Trey Gerrald:

Next week, everyone is our special Christmas episode.

Trey Gerrald:

So you have that to look forward to, but as of right now, that's it, we did it.

Trey Gerrald:

That is another entry, closer to sleuthing out.

Trey Gerrald:

Life's ultimate truth.

Trey Gerrald:

Wisdom seeking love.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Ferris wheel of life.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

That's amazing.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you guys so much.

Chelsey Donn:

You Queens for joining us today.

Chelsey Donn:

If you like what you heard, please?

Chelsey Donn:

I've said it a million times.

Chelsey Donn:

I keep saying it, but it really is the best way.

Chelsey Donn:

The best nicest thing you could do for us would be for you to share this with your

Chelsey Donn:

I have a little conversation about this.

Trey Gerrald:

And if you don't like what you heard, just tell an enemy, please join our

Trey Gerrald:

You'll see it.

Trey Gerrald:

Or you can just click on that symbol, like that's in our show notes.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

And don't forget.

Chelsey Donn:

We want to hear from you hit up our voicemail box 1-850-REVIEW-0.

Chelsey Donn:

You can also follow us on all the socials @theReviewQueens.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm @ChelseyBD

Trey Gerrald:

and I'm @TreyGerrald.

Trey Gerrald:

Become a member of our Royal Court.

Trey Gerrald:

When you join our Patreon at patreon.com/ReviewThatReview

Chelsey Donn:

and remember, ignore the haters.

Chelsey Donn:

You're a queen!

Trey Gerrald:

Gender non-specific queen!

Chelsey Donn:

Bye!

Trey Gerrald:

Bye.

Trey Gerrald:

Make sure you join our after show podcast so you can hear the other Review!.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah and if you're on Patreon, Stay in your seats.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause we got more.

Trey Gerrald:

Bye

Chelsey Donn:

Bye!

Trey Gerrald:

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

Trey Gerrald:

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty.

Trey Gerrald:

Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn, with editing and sound designed by me!

Trey Gerrald:

With voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky.

Trey Gerrald:

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
A comedy podcast dedicated to reviewing pedestrian online reviews!

About your hosts

Profile picture for Trey Gerrald

Trey Gerrald

Actor | Writer | Human-Person
Review Queen 👑
Profile picture for Chelsey Donn

Chelsey Donn

Actress | Comedian | Writer
Review Queen 👑