170: RE-VIEW: Nair For Men (from Ep 14)

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:00

This week, this is a super treat.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:02

If you've been listening to this podcast at all, I'm sure you've heard us talk about Santino and his Cherries of Fire.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:08

So, Baby, it's time to Review, Review That Review, Episode 14, which aired on September 8th, 2021.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:16

The original episode contained two reviews, two complaints, and two Royal Highnesses.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:20

But today's review is a bite sized version of the original airing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:24

So be sure to pop back and listen to episode 14 in full.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:27

It was a total blast.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:00:29

And please remember to leave us five stars on Apple podcasts and enjoy the episode.

VOICEOVER: 00:00:38

Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian, It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore, Someone's gotta settle the score.,

VOICEOVER: 00:00:50

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose, Whose views win which ones lose, Online haters are coming for you, Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

VOICEOVER: 00:01:05

Bye!

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:09

It's so good to see you.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:10

Look at your little crown.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:11

It's so good to see you and it's so good to not be seen by our listeners.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:16

Well, unless you're on Patreon and then God bless you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:19

You beat me to it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:22

Anyway, hello everyone and welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:28

Reviews!

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:29

We're just like Siskel and Ebert, only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:40

That's Chelsey Donn.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:42

And that's Trey Gerald.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:43

And together, Chelsey and I form

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:46

The review Queens

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:50

Chelsea Chel.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:51

I see you've got a top knot and your headphones on.

TREY GERRALD: 00:01:54

How's your crown today, Tracy?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:56

Oh cha . You know what?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:58

I like the top knot.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:01:59

Usually before we record I'm doing a little Pilates with watch that Rock Pilates, so this is what she getting on.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:06

It's cute, regular.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:07

Thank you.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:08

My, my crown's good today.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:10

I decided, like, that I think we should expand the definition of crown.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:14

It's more like a head, like your crown.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:16

Like, how's your, how's your cappy?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:17

How's your crown?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:18

How's the, what's hap, what's happening up there?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:21

Put your cape

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:21

on, your cappy.

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:22

What's,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:22

what's happening?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:23

Things are good.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:24

It's been an interesting week.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:26

Had a little bit of a dental emergency and that's hard.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:30

My dad's a dentist, as I think I've maybe mentioned before, I've become very reliant on him and he lives across the country and somehow my teeth, they like, they have a schedule.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:41

They know when I'm going to be home and that's when generally issues pop up, but you know, this was the first time that an issue popped up and I couldn't get to him in time.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:50

So it was a little bit, uh, jarring, uh, of an experience, but I'm getting through it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:55

We're gonna, we're gonna handle it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:02:56

It's gonna be fine.

TREY GERRALD: 00:02:57

You just reminded me with this dental talk, because I, you know, I have a list of complaints that I can, yeah, I just collect them for the podcast.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:05

Yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:05

And it's for work.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:07

It's for work.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:08

One of the very first things I wrote down was Winnie's breath.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:12

And she has a deep cleaning dental appointment where they have to put her under in September.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:17

It's scary.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:18

I get it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:19

I've done it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:19

Which is,

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:19

I guess when this will be airing is in September.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:22

But regardless, I just thought about that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:24

But you know, my week so far has been pretty good.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:27

This is a top secret.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:30

So I'm gonna cup my hands over my mic.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:32

As I tell you, David and I are planning a surprise trip.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:38

To six flags for our nephew, Denver, who's been staying with us.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:42

Oh my god.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:43

So we've been secretly planning it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:45

We're going to do it Thursday.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:47

Aw, you guys are the best.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:50

I'm excited.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:51

I like roller coasters.

TREY GERRALD: 00:03:52

I don't do as well on them as I did when I was younger, but I think it will be fun as long as I have SPF.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:03:56

I do not do well on the roller coasters at all, by the way, in case you're wondering.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:01

I do think it might be as you get older, I think like your center of gravity changes.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:06

I don't know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:06

I just made that up.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:07

I've never been a fan, but my like go to, I usually only go to Disneyland.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:11

I feel like they have the most to lose.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:13

Six Flags, they got something to lose over there too, but I look in the line for the youngest person in line and then I have a conversation with them.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:20

That really tends to make me feel better.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:22

Oh,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:23

yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:24

Well, instead of feeling better.

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:27

Why don't we get into things that make us feel bad?

TREY GERRALD: 00:04:29

Chelsey, would you like to?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:31

Lodge a complaint.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:32

I'm so glad you asked, Trey, because I've been waiting all week for this moment.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:37

Yes, I'd like to lodge a complaint against food shamers of any variety, particularly food shamers who shame you because you don't like a certain kind of food.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:48

Like, yeah, like I don't like fish.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:50

I get it guys.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:51

Yes.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:52

I've tried it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:53

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:53

I've tried a lot of different kinds of fish.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:55

I just don't like it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:56

It's a texture thing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:04:58

Like it's a flavor thing too, but like, it's mostly a texture thing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:02

And I, I don't like it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:04

And a lot of people really like fish.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:06

And I think mazel to you, like, please enjoy your fish.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:10

I'm not going to stop you from enjoying your food, but stop harassing me.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:15

It's not.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:16

And yes, That means I don't eat sushi.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:18

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:05:19

That's usually the follow up question.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:21

But yes, I can relate because I also am not a fish consumer, but you Chelsey have no idea that you've just walked into a huge sense of turmoil for me.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:32

I grew up as a Southern person in the South and my parents always cooked steaks well done.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:38

And I once went on a trip with a family and we went to a steakhouse.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:45

And I asked for my steak to be well done.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:47

And I was harassed by the father and told how low class it was to do that, how it's offensive to the chef.

TREY GERRALD: 00:05:54

And I had like literally no idea, you know, but it instilled this deep, dark fear.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:00

And since now, you know, I've mentioned this a lot in this podcast, but now that I'm married to a Yankee that's Jewish, they are just sort of like, get your steak how you want it done.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:09

Shut up with all this confetching.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:11

It's like, get it how you want, you know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:13

I mean, they still have food opinions, but they're sort of like, what do you mean?

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:16

Who cares?

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:16

Get the steak how you want it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:17

We're paying for it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:18

It's our experience.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:19

Get the steak how you want it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:20

But, um, I really, there really is like cultural opinion about someone who gets a steak well done.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:27

Oh my

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:28

God.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:28

Yes.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:29

I used to order my steak that way.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:30

And I went to Nobu with my sister and yes, I didn't order fish.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:34

I've been

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:35

there too.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:35

I've been there too.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:37

So I got the steak.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:38

And I used to, I was like younger.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:40

I used to get at medium well or whatever.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:42

And I said, you know, they're like, how would you like it cooked?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:44

And I was like, medium well.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:45

And the waiter literally just goes medium.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:49

I was

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:49

like, no, medium.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:50

Well, and she's like, medium.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:52

And it happened like three times.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:54

And then finally I was like, yeah, medium.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:56

Yep.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:56

Medium's good.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:06:57

Thanks.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:58

Well, that really is.

TREY GERRALD: 00:06:59

The conclusion of this conversation because I trained myself to get my steaks medium because of other people's opinions on food.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:06

I used to get ketchup with my steak when I was growing up

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:09

as a kid does.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:10

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:10

And my parents would make me like whisper it, you know, or they'd ask for me, but like they'd whisper it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:17

They'd be like, she likes some ketchup.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:18

You know what I mean?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:18

Like it was like,

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:19

wait, that reminds me of that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:21

Like, Neil Simon monologue that every little boy does when they're like 11 or 12 and it's like, my aunt got, and you have to like keep whispering that the aunt got cancer because you can't say the word cancer.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:34

Yeah,

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:35

anyway,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:36

you can't say the word ketchup around steak either,

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:40

Why don't we jump into some inside stories from Yelp, Amazon, Google Reviews, TripAdvisor, What do you think about that?

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:48

Looking up some online written reviews and dissecting and breaking them down, Chels?

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:52

You

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:52

I think that's a really good idea, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:07:54

I don't know what made you think of that, but it just

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:56

came to me off the top of my head.

TREY GERRALD: 00:07:57

Like, maybe that would be something interesting for us to do.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:00

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:00

And now that you mention it, yeah, that would be great.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:03

Let's do that.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:05

Oh, good.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:05

As you know, we are your trustee review queens.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:09

We were just joking before.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:10

We obviously know our role very well.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:12

We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:18

We read you the review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:19

We break it down.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:20

We inspect it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:21

We talk about it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:22

And then we rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:27

It's a very regal process that we like to call,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:30

Assess That Kvetch.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:31

And Kvetch means complaint.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:33

That's great.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:33

This is, this is better than Yiddish with Dick and Jane, which I also own.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:38

Um, Kvetch means complaint.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:41

Kvetch, Jane.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:42

Kvetch.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:43

Anyway, um, Trey, I think your first, cause I went first last time, right?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:48

Right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:49

Good job.

TREY GERRALD: 00:08:49

That's right.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:50

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:50

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:51

I remember things.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:52

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:53

Take it away.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:55

RQ.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:08:57

Review That Review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:02

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:02

I'm excited for today because I have a review from amazon.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:07

com.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:08

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:08

I also want to give a little shout out right here.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:10

A listener named Danielle sent me a A review for something that was very funny and it sent me down a spiral and I landed on this review, which is not the one that Danielle sent, but I wouldn't have gotten here if it had not been for Danielle.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:26

So thank you, Danielle.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:26

Yes.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:27

Thank you.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:27

Thank God for Danielle.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:29

Thank God.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:29

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:30

Thank God.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:30

We should

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:31

hear the review that she sent to another time.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:33

It's coming.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:33

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:34

All right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:34

So today my review is a one star review from amazon.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:37

com written by Santino.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:40

No last name, just like, he's like, Oprah, Madonna, Santino.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:44

They also have no profile picture, so.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:46

Oh, okay,

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:47

great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:47

For Nair hair remover, men body cream, 368 milliliters pump.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:56

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:09:57

By Nair.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:09:58

Yeah, oof, been there.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:10:00

All right, let's hear it from Santino.

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:02

Santino's subject is Cherries of fire, oh no, I had the absolute worst experience with this product, I put the cream on my privates because I wanted to get rid of the hair, and so I tried it on one major spot below my v line,

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:25

And it came off pretty smooth.

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:33

At this point, I was like, quote, Damn, if it can get this part real smooth and get off all that hair, then I wonder how effective it will be on my cherries.

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:45

Oh no!

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:45

Oh no!

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:49

Oh no!

TREY GERRALD: 00:10:54

Oh, I think we know where this is going.

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:02

That's when I learned what was to come next was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life.

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:13

I lathered the cream all over the parts that had hair and just waited in the bathroom with the shower on standby.

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:25

After the recommended wait time, I turned on the shower and began washing off all the hair.

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:31

Then after a few seconds, I felt a searing pain in my groin right,

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:43

right below my cherries.

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:53

Oh, no.

TREY GERRALD: 00:11:58

Oh, dear.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:01

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:03

Then after a few seconds, I felt a searing pain.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:07

You've got a mute because I can't get through it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:10

I just keep, because it's coming through the headphones.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:13

I just hear, I'm like, I just hear, I've already

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:20

covered, I covered you with my review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:27

Okay, just.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:28

You have to join Patreon so you can see Chelsey laughing, okay?

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:31

I'm covering her.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:33

Then after a few seconds, I felt a searing pain in my groin.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:38

right below my cherries.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:40

And I swear to you, this was pain like no other.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:44

I went to check the source and I had a very small chemical burn right below my cherries.

TREY GERRALD: 00:12:53

The water only made things worse, and I was doing my best to wash off all the cream while enduring the worst pain I had ever felt.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:01

As I was washing it off, I made another fatal mistake.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:07

I went to the tip and I was in even more pain than I was already in to begin with.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:14

So I finished washing it off, got out of the shower, and immediately did a fetal position in bed with this non stop searing pain.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:24

Pain.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:25

I desperately looked online for information on how to stop the pain and sources said I had to dip my cherries in some warm water for several days until the pain subsided.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:39

So I did that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:41

And the pain did in fact go away when it was in the water and I swear to you this lasted a whole seven or eight days and going to the bathroom was impossible without a feeling of searing Pain.

TREY GERRALD: 00:13:59

I seriously do not recommend this product at all, because it gave me the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:07

It might as well be used as a torture method, because that's seriously how bad it was.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:14

All the hair did come off, but at what cost?

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:18

Everything.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:22

Oh, my God, that was an experience.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:26

Wait, I really was not anticipating this being like, I didn't anticipate the laughing.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:32

So I mean, I thought it was funny that this that Santino refers to it as cherries, but I didn't think that it would tickle me.

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:38

But wow, it really tickled us.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:39

God, that was.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:40

so funny i've never heard anyone call them cherries me

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:45

either i actually haven't either

CHELSEY DONN: 00:14:47

but i thought it was a great great substitute for this forum because i obviously immediately knew

TREY GERRALD: 00:14:57

yes it's funny because using this code name

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:00

yeah

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:01

i then felt Icky when Santino used the word tip.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:06

It made me feel like, Oh, wait, what?

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:08

No, we're talking about cherries.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:09

I know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:10

Let's go back to cherries.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:11

Yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:12

Also, 85 people found this helpful.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:14

Oh my God.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:15

Okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:15:16

What's your thought?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:17

First of all, I've been there, Santino.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:20

I've been there.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:20

I, I've dappled quite a bit with the nair.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:24

Oh, and even on the legs, here's like where I'm confused, but I guess maybe this sounds like it was a different experience in my, like one time I had.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:32

You know, whatever, chub rub in the middle of my legs, and I put some like, nair on it, and it burned like, immediately, and then I was like, I gotta get this off, like right now, and then it still was an experience for a few days, so I wonder, Santino had no, usually you get like a warning sign, like right before it happens, it seems like in Santino's experience, Experience.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:15:54

He waited the full eight minutes or whatever it was, and then it wasn't until he was in the shower, like washing everything off.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:03

Yeah, good point.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:03

That

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:03

he started to feel the pain.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:04

Which again, not, not denying what happened here.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:07

This is serious, but like that was, that was surprising to me.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:10

Well, sometimes I have experience with, uh, chest hair.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:14

Yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:14

I had to use NA when I was doing a play as a drag queen.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:18

Mm-Hmm.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:18

. So I had to like do it constantly.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:20

And it does like, I feel like it's like the.

TREY GERRALD: 00:16:22

Wiping of the washcloth that kind of activates it activates it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:26

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:26

So, so much here.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:28

First of all, like too much of a good thing, Santino.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:32

Like if we would have just stopped the V, we would have been okay, you know, but that's not what we do as humans.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:38

We need once we find something good, we're just like the curiosity mind starts going.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:43

If this, then what about this?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:46

I mean, I don't have my own cherries, obviously, but I imagine that's a sense.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:51

That's a very sensitive skin.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:53

You know, I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:53

I would think I wouldn't.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:16:55

It wouldn't be like shocking to me that you would have this reaction.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:00

Not that I'm saying he asked for it, but like, I don't think on the box, does it clarify or not?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:06

Like, I don't think you're supposed to use it for that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:08

It's interesting because now Nair makes a specific product called like private, right?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:12

Like even for the women, it's like there's a separate Nair that's bikini.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:16

There's like bikini Nair and then there's regular Nair.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:18

And it's like, you would never use regular Nair on the bikini Nair because that would be a real, you know, catastrophe.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:25

Like, Santino, clearly a poor guy, but to your

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:29

point, I appreciate that Santino literally quotes their thought process.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:35

Like how you're saying, it's like, we always want to, we go one step too far.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:39

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:40

We're like, Oh, it's like you can follow the narrative at least.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:42

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:43

I appreciate that.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:45

And I've had the burn.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:46

It's terrible.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:17:47

Oh,

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:47

yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:48

Yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:48

It's a terrible, gross.

TREY GERRALD: 00:17:49

Well, that was, that was a question that occurred to me, like, first of all, this whole process of seven or eight days of having to like, tea bag your cherries and water, like, that is the most outrageous visual in the world.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:01

But also, like, wouldn't it hurt, like, just being in underwear?

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:05

Oh,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:05

sure.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:05

Everything hurt.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:06

That's the thing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:07

Like, it's, it's a torture.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:10

You can't avoid it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:11

Do you think that this is, um, real?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:14

I do.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:15

I do too.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:15

Yeah, I do.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:16

I totally do.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:16

Cause I could see this happening.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:18

I could see someone even like going to the ER for something.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:20

Oh

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:21

yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:21

And also like the only funny thing about the review is the use of the phrase cherries.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:26

Right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:27

I don't think Santino's trying to be funny.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:28

I think Santino's I don't

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:30

think he is, but like it was hilarious.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:32

Like I was dying.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:33

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:34

I thought it was like very funny.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:36

That's why I was a little disappointed.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:38

Only spelling error comes at the second to last sentence.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:42

I know, I noticed that.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:44

It's so unfortunate.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:45

We

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:45

almost wanted to do a rewrite for them, but we can't.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:48

I know, I know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:50

We wouldn't be doing our job.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:18:51

I mean, God, the, the tip situation, horrendous.

TREY GERRALD: 00:18:57

Especially after you're already experiencing cherries of fire.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:01

I'm having a, like a visceral response to this, like just reading it and I don't even have to read it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:07

Cherries.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:07

So like, I, I imagine any man reading this would probably be like, this would be very impactful.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:16

I would think, I don't think it's going to stop anyone from ordering it, but we got to give Santino credit where credit is due and say, he's a good Samaritan.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:26

He took one for the team.

TREY GERRALD: 00:19:28

That's what, you know, like,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:30

I don't know where that falls on the review because it's like, is it going to make me not buy the product?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:36

Like, probably not.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:37

But is it going to teach me a hard lesson that I don't need to go down this road on my own?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:43

Yes.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:44

Yes, it would.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:45

So it's like, if anybody is thinking about buying this and reading through the products and thinking about getting a little bit freaky with their cherries in the nair, they're Don't dip it there.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:54

It's not like a dollop of daisy.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:55

It's a dollop of fire.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:57

Crazy.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:19:59

Crazy.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:00

I mean, a lot of reviews for Nair mentioned just chemical burns in general, because it is like, it is like searing.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:06

I mean, the use of the word searing.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:08

Oh, yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:08

Oh, yeah.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:10

But yeah, I do feel like this review, it's listed as 85 people found it helpful.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:15

But I think that this is like should go on labels.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:17

I mean, I think this should be like, this is the warning, like, you don't do this.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:22

Like this is, this is for your chest hair, leg hair aren't like, if you're a swimmer, and you got greedy, just Don't do the private, sensitive areas.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:31

That's insane.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:31

Keep

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:32

it, keep it above the belt and below the belt, but not at the belt.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:36

You know,

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:36

if you were Santino's grandmother, would you hang this on the fridge?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:40

Oh, no.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:41

I mean, first of all, if I were Santino, I don't know that I would be passing my cherry review along to my grandmother.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:46

I mean, I really feel for Santino here.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:49

I think, I think in terms of like his, um, empathy response.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:54

Hi.

TREY GERRALD: 00:20:55

Oh yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:20:55

I think that Nair is so funny to me because it's like anything in life that is just like easy and breezy.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:02

There's always a consequence.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:04

You know what I mean?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:04

Oh yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:05

Like it's like Nair is like, listen, like we created this amazing thing where instead of like getting on your, I don't know, hands and knees, shaving, doing all kinds of things, lather up, right?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:17

Like it's a great thing, but it comes at a cost.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:21

Oh, and it smells so bad.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:22

It smells heinous, but like, yes, it, it's gonna burn if you leave it on too long, or if you put it in the wrong area.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:31

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:32

It's so interesting when, when it comes to crowning, like, these kind of products, because I feel like, Nair, it's just something we all know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:41

We all know these facts about it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:44

If we're going to buy Nair, I find that like, if I'm going on Amazon to buy Nair, is it because I'm like, what is this strange hair removing device?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:21:52

Or have I used it?

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:54

But like, it's possible, like, teenagers are born every day.

TREY GERRALD: 00:21:59

And, you know, if you haven't considered this, then, like, I do think it's valuable.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:06

I also appreciate that Santino offers value to Nair by saying, look, this could be used as a torture device, like, Right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:15

He, Santino is not belittling the company, going angrily at them, It's actually just saying like, Wow, this killed me, my poor cherries, I shouldn't have done it, And for the love of God, don't make the same mistake, Don't do it,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:22:31

Okay, Anything else you feel like we need to consider before we crown?

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:36

I don't think so.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:36

The, the spelling is exceptional except for that one part, the grammar.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:40

I think, you know, I believe, yeah, let's crown it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:22:43

Let's crown.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:44

All right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:44

So, Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:48

In an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another's cherries, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:56

Good one.

TREY GERRALD: 00:22:56

The queens are tabulating.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:00

I think I know.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:01

Do you know?

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:01

Okay,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:02

I think I know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:03

Yeah.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:07

Total score.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:08

I'm doing it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:10

Wow, Trey gave it five crowns.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:14

The ultimate review queen.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:15

I gave it four crowns today.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:23:17

Trey, tell us why Santino is a review queen.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:21

I was going to do four and a half, but I just based on how it landed in the room today.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:26

I really didn't, I honestly didn't think it would like be hard to get through.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:30

Yeah, I, I, I believe that Santino did not slander or slur Nair.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:35

They shared their experience, which I do believe is going to be very common for people because I think that they stayed directly to the point and it was highly entertaining and hilarious, but not intentionally.

TREY GERRALD: 00:23:52

And I appreciated that it wasn't vulgar and I just think it's a really huge like Surgeon General warning here from Santino for free.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:02

So for that reason, I gave it five crowns, ultimate, ultimate, ultimate.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:06

What about you?

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:07

Tell me about four.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:08

Yeah, I was also kind of between four and five.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:11

I pulled out my half crown.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:13

I thought about doing the four and a half.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:15

The only reason why I took anything off, and I don't really know if this is necessarily Santino's fault, is just that I don't think, That it would keep me from putting it in the cart.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:25

That's it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:26

Like, I think that I would read this and be like, thank you, Santino, like, well worth the four crowns for just the knowledge alone.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:34

But I'm going to use it on just my V and just avoid the cherries.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:38

So like, you know, the V

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:40

line.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:41

Yeah, that.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:42

Cool.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:43

Not a V, yeah, everybody knows a good V.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:46

The V line, not the V.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:47

Not

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:47

the V, that's true, I should clarify.

TREY GERRALD: 00:24:52

There for men on your V.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:24:54

This is for men, I'm talking about that V muscular thing that's like underneath guys that have like eight packs.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:00

Anyway, so yeah, that was like why I took the, was considering between half and a full, because I don't think it would cause me to take a direct action in terms of, consuming the product.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:11

Fair.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:12

That's totally fair.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:13

Great.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:13

All right.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:14

Thanks, Santino.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:15

We hope your cherries are better.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:17

Santino,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:18

I, yeah, like, thank you for, for the lessons and the entertainment because that was hilarious.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:25

Woof.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:25

All right, my queen.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:26

Well, we have reached the most regal portion of our show.

TREY GERRALD: 00:25:30

Chelsey, who are you going to induct today for

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:35

My Royal Highness?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:37

I'm so glad you asked, Trey.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:38

So I'm going to do, it's like a bit of a broad category tonight for My Royal Highness, but I'm going to give My Royal Highness to all the dogs out there.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:48

It's like dogs, dogs are just so great and they add so much value to our life.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:54

And I don't know what my life would be without a dog.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:57

And I just.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:25:58

I adore them and I think that they're just the most amazing creatures and I think it was like National Dog Day a couple days ago, but also let's celebrate the dogs every day because they, they do so much for us and our well being and dogs are great.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:13

So I'm going to make dogs, My Royal Highness,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:18

I love that.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:20

Thanks.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:21

And between the two of us, I mean,

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:23

I love dogs too.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:24

I think that they need to be loved and pet always.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:29

It's overdue.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:30

And never trust someone who doesn't like dogs.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:31

Just gonna say I said it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:33

Yeah,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:34

you said it.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:35

It's a good thing

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:35

to say for sure.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:37

Do we have time, though, for a Royal Review, do we think?

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:40

Oh, girl.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:41

Oh, girlfriend, girlfriend, don't get wacky crazy.

TREY GERRALD: 00:26:43

You know, we always got time for that.

VOICEOVER: 00:26:46

Baby, it's time for some Royal Review.

VOICEOVER: 00:26:50

Today's

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:52

Royal Review is Also from Apple Podcasts, listener Peaches1234579.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:26:56

Peaches does not like the number eight for some reason.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:02

Or six.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:03

Oh.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:03

You took my joke.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:05

I was gonna do that at the end, but you totally, you totally clocked it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:09

It's okay.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:09

Keep going.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:09

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:10

Five star review, and then underneath the five stars, Peaches has done five crowns, which is, oof, what a queenly move, Peaches.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:18

Okay, she says, my self sabotaging brain tends to delve into dark and twisty podcasts, but that's not so great for my mental health.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:28

This hilarious podcast is a welcome midweek reprieve that brings me so much joy.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:35

The hosts are so professional and entertaining that it seems as though they've been podcasting for years.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:41

I really do look forward to every episode and only wish it came out more than once a week.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:47

Five crowns, Queens.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:50

Oh, peaches.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:54

That was so nice.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:27:55

What a mensch.

TREY GERRALD: 00:27:57

I love that Peaches, uh, mentions mental health, which is so very important.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:01

I'm also a consumer of True Crime Podcasts and I just, I love their love for us and I appreciate them wanting more.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:09

Isn't that nice?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:10

So nice.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:11

And also, yeah, I agree.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:12

The mental health thing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:13

It's, it's like one of the things I tell myself when I feel like what I do isn't worth anything.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:19

It's just like what we do is we entertain and I need to be entertained all the time.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:23

Just like watching comedies makes me feel so much better.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:25

So the fact that I could be even like the tiniest part of Peach's day, God, wow, I'm getting a little verklempt.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:33

I'm getting a little verklempt.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:34

Well, thank you, Peaches.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:35

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:37

That makes me think of, um, Why is 6 afraid of 7?

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:41

Cause 7 ate 9.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:43

Thank you, Peaches.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:44

We appreciate the review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:45

Yes, thank you.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:47

We really do appreciate it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:48

So, Queen.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:50

We've done it.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:51

That's another round on the R U A R Q Ferris Wheel of Love.

TREY GERRALD: 00:28:56

I love that so

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:57

much better than the ear holes thing.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:58

Good job.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:28:59

Okay.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:00

Thank you guys so much for joining us today.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:02

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:04

If

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:05

you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:07

Y'all, don't be shy, hit up our voicemail box, 1 850 REVIEW ZERO, we'll take a review, we'll take a complaint, we'll take a My Royal Highness inductee, we'll take stories about left hand discrimination, we'll take stories about cherry burns, whatever, call in, we want to hear from you.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:24

Yeah, call in just to say hi and kiki.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:27

I don't know.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:28

You can tell us a joke.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:29

Tell us a joke.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:30

Tell us a joke that I can tell my niece and nephews.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:32

Always looking for those.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:29:34

So anyway, you can also, if you're just so inclined, follow us on all the socials at the Review Queens and I'm Chelsey BD and that's Chelsey with a Y.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:45

And I'm at Trey Gerrald.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:46

That's Gerald with two R's and a G.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:53

Become a member of the Royal Court by joining our Patreon at patreon.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:57

com slash review that review.

TREY GERRALD: 00:29:59

And our entry level starts at just 5 a month.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:02

It's true.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:02

You can also watch live clips from our recording sessions on YouTube.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:06

And remember,

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:07

ignore the haters.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:09

You're a queen.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:10

Gender non specific queenies.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:12

Of course.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:12

Bye.

TREY GERRALD: 00:30:14

Bye.

CHELSEY DONN: 00:30:15

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