Episode 160
160: Nude Beach: 1 vs 5 Stars
The Queens bare it all in this Verses Episode as they compare a 1 Star and a 5 Star Review for All Nude, All The Time: Gunnison Beach. But wait... there's more: it's our first ever DOUBLE VERSES EPISODE! Chelsey's phone won't stop ringing and we're screaming, "Tisch, PLEASE!" A beach is somehow...gonna... beach, and Little Richard is not Little Richie and ALSO not Stevie Wonder, and ALSO most certainly NOT Christina Aguilera!
(03:18) Lodge a Complaint!
(06:09) Gunnison Beach on the Jersey Shore
(09:48) 5 Star Review
(24:32) Nude or Prude?!
(31:25) Exclusive Offer
(36:26) On This Week's After Show Pod
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Review That Review is an independent podcast. Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald. Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.
Transcript
Like broken shells and pebbles.
CHELSEY DONN:Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
TREY GERRALD:Is it like listening, is it like you're talking to your relatives, Chelsey?
TREY GERRALD:It's so accurate.
TREY GERRALD:Okay.
CHELSEY DONN:great.
VOICEOVER:Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian, It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore, Someone's gotta settle the score., Trey and Chelsey will help you choose, Whose views win which ones lose, Online haters are coming for you, Baby, it's time to Review That Review!, Subscribe to our channel for more videos!
TREY GERRALD:Hello.
CHELSEY DONN:Oh my
TREY GERRALD:Hello, and welcome to Review That Review.
TREY GERRALD:We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.
CHELSEY DONN:Reviews!
TREY GERRALD:That is a very JWoww.
TREY GERRALD:Chelsey
CHELSEY DONN:And that is a very Snooki, Trey Gerrald!
CHELSEY DONN:Oh my
TREY GERRALD:And when we come together here on the Jersey Shore, we are,
VOICEOVER:The review, Queens
TREY GERRALD:wait, I have, okay, so Chelsey and I have dressed up.
CHELSEY DONN:You're giving like, Snooki meets Amy Winehouse.
TREY GERRALD:I know, I combined two wigs with zip ties,
CHELSEY DONN:Oh my god,
CHELSEY DONN:it's so
TREY GERRALD:very extreme, and I wanted to have a hat on like you have, But then I thought you wouldn't see the bump,
CHELSEY DONN:Yeah, I know.
CHELSEY DONN:I was like, I'll go for a Snooki Jwoww combo because sometimes Snooki does the hat too.
TREY GERRALD:my earring has fallen off, hold on,
CHELSEY DONN:Oh my god, Trey.
CHELSEY DONN:That's like not even earring.
CHELSEY DONN:That's like a wire hanger.
TREY GERRALD:Well, I made these out of, um, solder wires, So that they would be large enough, But
CHELSEY DONN:Trey is wearing humongous hoops.
CHELSEY DONN:Of course, he is donning an adorable pink little headband crown.
CHELSEY DONN:The nails are excellent.
CHELSEY DONN:They're the nail gloves, back for a turn, and there's so much jewelry happening.
CHELSEY DONN:We have a whole leopard, like, number.
CHELSEY DONN:There's like a gold necklace going on.
CHELSEY DONN:Trey, you look good enough to smush.
TREY GERRALD:I'm mixing my metals, So, okay, so, I had never watched Jersey Shore, I literally asked David if there was a catchphrase, I don't know it, I think it's, Jim Tan, GT something,
CHELSEY DONN:Jim Tan Laundry.
TREY GERRALD:Laundry, right?
TREY GERRALD:Um, all I know is that Snooki got punched in the face and that on television.
TREY GERRALD:And I also know that she was a guest when I was in the audience of Wendy Williams once, and she gave
CHELSEY DONN:How you
TREY GERRALD:free perfume.
TREY GERRALD:How you know her?
CHELSEY DONN:doin
TREY GERRALD:The Snooki perfume, even though she didn't want to be called Snooki.
TREY GERRALD:Her perfume was still called Snooki.
CHELSEY DONN:I think she then embraced it after a while.
CHELSEY DONN:You know, she just is Snooki.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay, so we're sort of spoiling.
CHELSEY DONN:Well, no, what am I saying?
CHELSEY DONN:I always forget that you guys can see the subject of the review.
CHELSEY DONN:I can't.
CHELSEY DONN:But
CHELSEY DONN:you can.
CHELSEY DONN:So you already know that this week we're doing something very sauntry sultry,
CHELSEY DONN:and we're going to a nude beach.
TREY GERRALD:But before we get to the nude Jersey Shore
CHELSEY DONN:Yes.
TREY GERRALD:Chelsey, is there anything that you would like to
VOICEOVER:Lodge a complaint.
TREY GERRALD:about today?
CHELSEY DONN:Well, yes, Trey, I would.
CHELSEY DONN:So before I hopped on this wonderful recording with this lovely, beautiful human across from me today,
CHELSEY DONN:I got, Snooki.
CHELSEY DONN:I got another phone call from NYU
CHELSEY DONN:asking for donations.
TREY GERRALD:I can't.
CHELSEY DONN:Can we stop?
CHELSEY DONN:I feel like we should just know I'm not in a donations place, NYU, for so many reasons.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm not gonna donate money.
CHELSEY DONN:Maybe if I was extremely successful and a huge celebrity, poo poo poo, God willing, I would think about donating to a very specific
CHELSEY DONN:thing at NYU, but I'm not in a position to just be donating regularly.
CHELSEY DONN:And I don't know how many times I need to say it.
CHELSEY DONN:It's like, they don't stop.
CHELSEY DONN:They have a student on the line that just makes me feel bad.
CHELSEY DONN:Like, Oh, you know, they're not going to get through college if it's not for me.
CHELSEY DONN:And I'm just like, honey, you're calling the wrong person.
CHELSEY DONN:You know, like I'm doing you a favor by saying, go to somebody else.
CHELSEY DONN:We're still paying off my college.
TREY GERRALD:My answer is not changing.
CHELSEY DONN:My answer is not changing, just like you should just put an asterisk next to my name, unless you like really know my name, then you can call, but if you don't, Then stop calling.
TREY GERRALD:Well, you know, that's the benefit of having a very weird legal name that you do not answer to or go by because the minute someone says, is Ernest there?
TREY GERRALD:I just hang up.
TREY GERRALD:Yeah, because I'm like, if you knew me, you wouldn't call me Ernest.
TREY GERRALD:No, I totally hear that.
TREY GERRALD:I am fortunate that my college for some reason has never called.
TREY GERRALD:It's never called me.
CHELSEY DONN:really?
CHELSEY DONN:Oh my God.
CHELSEY DONN:They call all the time.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm sure it's just an NYU
TREY GERRALD:It might be NYU because I know David gets phone calls from them constantly.
CHELSEY DONN:Yeah, it's just, it's a little bit obnoxious.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm not going to lie.
CHELSEY DONN:So that's my complaint.
CHELSEY DONN:Actually, that kind of works because Jersey Shore was on when we were in college, I think, so we're going, we're in the correct early aughts, as they say.
TREY GERRALD:We're in the right mood.
CHELSEY DONN:in the right mood, we're in the right genre, we're in the right time and space.
CHELSEY DONN:And with that in mind, Trey, should we hop in?
TREY GERRALD:I think we should.
TREY GERRALD:Let's go!
TREY GERRALD:Head to head!
CHELSEY DONN:Let's go tits to tits.
VOICEOVER:Assess that Keve.
TREY GERRALD:So, everyone, yes, today is another Versus episode.
TREY GERRALD:Here we go.
TREY GERRALD:That just means that we are going to cover both a one star and a five star on the same exact topic.
CHELSEY DONN:That's right, for this versus episode, Trey has selected the 5 star, and I have selected the 1 star.
CHELSEY DONN:So, to determine who reads first, we gotta flip that quota!
CHELSEY DONN:I'm gonna guess, right?
CHELSEY DONN:Okay, I'll guess.
CHELSEY DONN:I'll say heads.
TREY GERRALD:It is tails.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay.
CHELSEY DONN:All right.
CHELSEY DONN:Today, as we mentioned, we're collecting data from both ends of the spectrum of Yelp reviews for Jersey Shore, Nude Beach, Gunnison Beach.
CHELSEY DONN:At the time of this recording, there are 47 reviews on Yelp with an average score of 4.
CHELSEY DONN:5 out of 5.
CHELSEY DONN:According to the good old Wikipedia, it was the discovery of Gunnison Beach's natural seclusion.
CHELSEY DONN:By park visitors in the late 1970s and early 80s that led to its inception as a nude beach.
CHELSEY DONN:In 1999, New Jersey passed a law that allows municipalities and counties to prohibit all types of nudism on state or local beaches in their jurisdiction.
CHELSEY DONN:Gunnison Beach, however, is on land owned and managed by the federal government and therefore is not subject to state or local regulations.
CHELSEY DONN:Thank goodness.
CHELSEY DONN:As a result, Gunnison Beach, the only legal.
CHELSEY DONN:Legal.
CHELSEY DONN:should be like in caps, nude beach in the state, Gunnison is the largest clothing optional recreation area on the East Coast, the clothing optional beach attracts nearly 5, 000 naturists per weekend in the summer months, that's a lot, No cameras are permitted.
CHELSEY DONN:So don't put some naked stranger on your Instagram story or in your TikTok video.
CHELSEY DONN:All right, don't do it.
CHELSEY DONN:Gunnison Beach ranked 11 out of 100 worldwide for skinny dipping according to mydatingadvisor.
CHELSEY DONN:com which is a new source for
TREY GERRALD:Obviously, a reliable source.
CHELSEY DONN:So with all this background in mind, Trey, let's Jump on in, but before we do, I just, I quickly want to slip into something a little bit more comfortable,
CHELSEY DONN:one sec,
TREY GERRALD:Ooh, Chelsey's doing a quick change.
TREY GERRALD:Well, she is wearing a t shirt that has a turquoise bikini on it, which is beautiful.
TREY GERRALD:Oh, oh, she has a, so now Chelsey is wearing a different t shirt.
TREY GERRALD:This time the bikini, oh, there is no bikini.
TREY GERRALD:It's this,
CHELSEY DONN:nude,
TREY GERRALD:this is now actually new.
TREY GERRALD:That is so funny that they would make, you know, So everyone knows those classic t shirts have bikinis on them, but this one is, this is now just nude.
TREY GERRALD:So she's lost the turquoise bikini and now tits are out.
TREY GERRALD:That's why you said tits to tits.
TREY GERRALD:Got it.
CHELSEY DONN:yes, tits to tits, doesn't this look kind of real, I mean, I was sort of surprised,
TREY GERRALD:Oh, yeah, the belly button looks very real.
CHELSEY DONN:it's kind of great, anyway,
TREY GERRALD:Okay.
TREY GERRALD:So today Yelp review for Gunnison Beach written by Lucy M.
TREY GERRALD:But wait, there's more!
TREY GERRALD:We actually discovered, in the research of this episode, Lucy M.
TREY GERRALD:has written both a five star and a one star.
TREY GERRALD:So today, as an experiment, we are going to be covering both of Lucy's reviews, and we're going to figure out, I don't know, what do we think the truth is?
TREY GERRALD:Now, the die has landed that we're sharing the five star up top.
TREY GERRALD:So, if you want to hear this review The five star was written over 10 years ago, but Lucy's one star review was written four years ago.
TREY GERRALD:So if you want to
CHELSEY DONN:oh, what a difference a year can make,
TREY GERRALD:exactly, especially when you're nude.
TREY GERRALD:So we will be covering Lucy M's one star and five star, so it's like a double versus episode.
TREY GERRALD:So if you want the tea, you got to join our Patreon.
TREY GERRALD:You can do that at reviewthatreview.
TREY GERRALD:com slash patreon.
TREY GERRALD:We'll remind you later, but we're going to start today with Lucy M's Five Star Review.
CHELSEY DONN:All right, let's hear it.
TREY GERRALD:Hold on, wait, I have to get the accent, hold on.
CHELSEY DONN:And full disclosure, I
CHELSEY DONN:did not read this review before.
CHELSEY DONN:I just saw that Lucy had a five star and a one
TREY GERRALD:Oh, same,
CHELSEY DONN:stopped there, so I don't know what I'm
TREY GERRALD:And I did not read the one star either.
TREY GERRALD:Here we go.
TREY GERRALD:I frickin love this beach.
TREY GERRALD:Is that right?
TREY GERRALD:Is that the right accent?
TREY GERRALD:Drawer.
TREY GERRALD:I'm from the shore.
CHELSEY DONN:Jersey Shore,
TREY GERRALD:We'll just see how it goes.
TREY GERRALD:Okay, I'm from the south, sometimes, sometimes it turns Irish, it turns weird.
CHELSEY DONN:Whatever.
CHELSEY DONN:it is, it's
TREY GERRALD:Whatever, I'm on the Jersey Shore, give me my schmear and my bagels.
TREY GERRALD:Okay, here we
CHELSEY DONN:right.
CHELSEY DONN:Here we go.
TREY GERRALD:My name's Lucy M.
TREY GERRALD:Here we go.
CHELSEY DONN:Here we go.
TREY GERRALD:I friggin love this beach.
TREY GERRALD:I have no idea how I'll go back to non nude beaches from here on out.
TREY GERRALD:Everyone is super friendly and welcoming.
TREY GERRALD:Me and my friends had total strangers sharing their ice drinks, cigarettes, of course, and even their umbrella shade with us.
TREY GERRALD:Parentheses.
TREY GERRALD:Subs by www.
TREY GERRALD:We were two women and one man.
TREY GERRALD:It made no difference.
TREY GERRALD:It wasn't an environment for singles on the prowl.
TREY GERRALD:It's not just a beach.
TREY GERRALD:There's a whole community of laid back regulars there.
TREY GERRALD:My one friend was a little nervous about getting naked in front of a bunch of strangers.
TREY GERRALD:But everyone acts like it's the most natural thing in the world.
TREY GERRALD:Which it is, after all.
TREY GERRALD:Okay, that one felt good, okay.
TREY GERRALD:Getting there from Queens was a bit of a trip, and it's helpful to print your directions out beforehand, or to use a GPS.
TREY GERRALD:Get there early on weekends.
TREY GERRALD:On weekdays, it's not so busy, but there was a decent sized crowd, even on a Tuesday.
TREY GERRALD:I can't stress enough to wear sneakers.
TREY GERRALD:Wearing flip-flops or going barefoot is completely out of the question for the trek from the parking lot.
TREY GERRALD:From the parking lot to the beach.
TREY GERRALD:Parentheses, once you're on the beach, it's fine.
TREY GERRALD:only does the sand get scorching hot, SCORCHING HOT!
TREY GERRALD:Oh, it's scorching hot.
TREY GERRALD:Not only does the sand get scorching hot, but it's chalk full, But it's chalk full, but it's chalk full of sharp debris, like broken shells and pebbles.
TREY GERRALD:I do
TREY GERRALD:Is it like listening Is it like you're talking to your relatives, Chelsey?
TREY GERRALD:It's so accurate?
TREY GERRALD:Okay.
CHELSEY DONN:great.
CHELSEY DONN:It's
TREY GERRALD:Bad, it can be very painful actually, Though the sand and water are a little heavy on the shells and other sediment even on the beach,
TREY GERRALD:Walking, walk, walking into the water itself can be tricky at first, It can
TREY GERRALD:be tricky at first, but it really is lovely, The waves are calm to the point of being barely there, The rangers do enforce the rules of the beach,
TREY GERRALD:Fines are given and Made, Parentheses, though none on the day I was there, locals say it's usually Guam, in parentheses.
TREY GERRALD:And since it's a national, nope, and since it's a national park, bad things are automatically punished more harshly than they would be elsewhere.
TREY GERRALD:If you're not stupid or being a creep, you won't have a problem.
TREY GERRALD:Booze is allowed, but no glass bottles, cigarettes, cigarettes are allowed, but you're encouraged to use shells as ashtrays instead of the sand, sand, sand, which is kind of cool and they are very easy to come by, you take out any garbage,
TREY GERRALD:You take out any garbage you make, The entrance has bathrooms as well as outdoor shower areas, Both for the body,
TREY GERRALD:both for the body that are higher up, And for the feet that are lower to the ground, Parentheses, clothing's mandatory in these areas, in parentheses, They've also got water fountain, nope, fountain, a fountain, water, water, water, They've also got water fountains, Ask for food on the beach, you're on your own, So make sure you bring snacks, can't wait to go back, smiley face,
CHELSEY DONN:First of all, round of applause for the dialect.
CHELSEY DONN:That
TREY GERRALD:I'm a pro.
CHELSEY DONN:was like Boston meets Jersey meets I don't know what, but it was great and
TREY GERRALD:Well, halfway through, I, like, remembered she's from Queens, so it should be a Queens accent.
CHELSEY DONN:It was great.
CHELSEY DONN:It was lovely.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm obsessed.
TREY GERRALD:Lucy, if you're listening to this, I'm sorry.
CHELSEY DONN:No, Lucy, you're a queen.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay, where do I even begin?
CHELSEY DONN:So the part that really got me in the beginning was when she was like, really bring sneakers because
CHELSEY DONN:like, the sand is very hot, which is true.
CHELSEY DONN:Like I've, my parents have a house in the Jersey Shore and the sand can get Very hot so that I'll test that but then when she was like and you're gonna step on shells and stones and Sediment, what the hell else is at the beach?
CHELSEY DONN:I mean like I'm glad that there's a no glass policy
CHELSEY DONN:I thought from the way that she was leading up to it that it was gonna be like I was stepping on Glass or there's something that's like Unnatural that's there, but it was just really, I got a kick out of the fact that it was like, you're going to want to wear sneakers because there's beach stuff at the beach, Sally sells seashells by the seashore, who would have thought it, you
CHELSEY DONN:know?
CHELSEY DONN:Just so funny.
TREY GERRALD:do think that's very funny.
TREY GERRALD:It's like, careful at Walmart because they have a Walmart at the Walmart.
TREY GERRALD:But, um, I do get the point because I have been to less populated beaches, more secluded types, where they don't really, like, clean it.
TREY GERRALD:And it is, like,
CHELSEY DONN:More sediment, More
CHELSEY DONN:Yeah, yeah, yeah,
TREY GERRALD:Yeah, it was very funny that after going into like how bad it is without sneakers, Lucy then shares, I ignore the recommendation to wear sneakers.
TREY GERRALD:It's like she was fully told.
CHELSEY DONN:right, but I think that that's a really great point because it's like a cautionary
CHELSEY DONN:tale of Maybe you looked on the website and you thought, oh sneakers are for losers and
CHELSEY DONN:then I'm tough.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm from Queens.
CHELSEY DONN:And then you're gonna learn the hard way.
CHELSEY DONN:So Lucy's like, don't be like me.
CHELSEY DONN:I think that it's interesting because to me, I was really laughing a lot.
CHELSEY DONN:I don't know if the intention was to laugh, but I do feel like to steal a term from Lucy.
CHELSEY DONN:This is chock full of advice.
TREY GERRALD:Chalk full just makes me think of the those tins of coffee.
TREY GERRALD:You know, the chalk full coffee.
CHELSEY DONN:Oh, talk.
CHELSEY DONN:I don't know.
CHELSEY DONN:I don't, you know, I'm not a big coffee
TREY GERRALD:Oh, that's right.
TREY GERRALD:That's right.
CHELSEY DONN:Yeah, I don't know where that expression comes from, but I did like it,
CHELSEY DONN:especially in your accent.
TREY GERRALD:well, it's it is very funny because it does read like, A gulp review from 2014.
TREY GERRALD:I mean, it's like
CHELSEY DONN:obviously like the map quest printing or whatever, you know what I mean?
CHELSEY DONN:Like so funny.
TREY GERRALD:I know that in doing research of Gunnison Beach, like it is alcohol free and like you can get in a lot of trouble
CHELSEY DONN:Oh, interesting.
TREY GERRALD:So that is like that has, has changed.
TREY GERRALD:And I would also imagine like you could put two and two together, like if everyone's nude and they're drunk,
CHELSEY DONN:It probably is
CHELSEY DONN:not
TREY GERRALD:could be dangerous, right?
TREY GERRALD:What do you think about smoking at the beach?
TREY GERRALD:That is so, that is such a time.
CHELSEY DONN:It just feels so Jersey Shore to me.
CHELSEY DONN:Of course.
TREY GERRALD:I guess it's also funny, like, I know this is like a period conversation, but like, if you are smoking, it's funny to sort of be like, oh, shoot, I didn't bring a cigarette ashtray.
TREY GERRALD:So let me use this aerial shell.
TREY GERRALD:Yeah.
TREY GERRALD:And then what do you do with it
CHELSEY DONN:that makes sense though, because you could run it.
CHELSEY DONN:I don't know.
CHELSEY DONN:I was going to run it in the water, but it's probably really bad for the water,
TREY GERRALD:But I also can imagine, like, in college days, when people
CHELSEY DONN:rinse it off.
TREY GERRALD:drinking beer, and they were, like, smoking, because
CHELSEY DONN:I don't know.
CHELSEY DONN:I mean, you think someone's going to bring an ashtray to the beach?
TREY GERRALD:my point, is I think people never brought ashtrays, they just brought their pack of cigarettes, which is funny, because every car had an ashtray, but cars don't have ashtrays anymore.
TREY GERRALD:Restaurants don't
CHELSEY DONN:don't ash in their car because they don't want their car to stink, so anyway,
TREY GERRALD:No, but my point here is, in college, I feel like when people were smoking and drinking, because they were college students, it's like, you finish the can of beer, and then you just, like,
CHELSEY DONN:oh, ash.
CHELSEY DONN:into the beer, yeah, yeah, yeah,
TREY GERRALD:feels very appropriate to the
CHELSEY DONN:totally, you're right, you're right, you're right, okay, so should we go through some of the valuable, like, unique tips that are here?
TREY GERRALD:it's very funny because I feel like Lucy is giving us lots of information, but it's all pretty dumb information.
TREY GERRALD:Like, whatever you
CHELSEY DONN:it is and some of it I think is, yeah, like, some of it is like, there's beach at the beach, which is just like
TREY GERRALD:it's also like, whatever trash you make, you have to take it out.
TREY GERRALD:Yeah, that's what like a responsible human being does.
TREY GERRALD:Why, like, why would you think you could leave your trash on the beach?
CHELSEY DONN:There's definitely some obvious things, but like, I still
CHELSEY DONN:like
TREY GERRALD:busier on the weekends.
TREY GERRALD:No
CHELSEY DONN:we're, yeah, right.
CHELSEY DONN:But I like that we're talking about like, okay, it's a community vibe.
CHELSEY DONN:It sounds like there's locals that go there that are there like all the time.
TREY GERRALD:And it's not an environment for singles on the prowl.
TREY GERRALD:That's the most
CHELSEY DONN:that's the,
TREY GERRALD:to me.
CHELSEY DONN:That's the most useful information in this review,
CHELSEY DONN:which put a pin in that for the after show, but anyway, oh, this is sort of interesting, I'm like, maybe I should have known this, but like, you can't be nude in the parking lot, you can only be nude on the beach,
TREY GERRALD:Right, because you're probably not going to be visible on the beach, but you might, I mean, who knows who you're
CHELSEY DONN:from the parking lot, That makes sense.
CHELSEY DONN:I like that they told you to bring snacks, even though, again, that should be obvious, but it's nice to know that it sounds like it's just intentionally, obviously, secluded.
CHELSEY DONN:So it's not like there's, like, on the Jersey Shore regular beach, you're going to run into, like, an ice cream guy on a cart,
TREY GERRALD:Right, this is not on a boardwalk.
TREY GERRALD:It's intentionally
CHELSEY DONN:it's intentionally secluded.
CHELSEY DONN:So you have to bring your own stuff, which is, I thought, sort of queenly
TREY GERRALD:know.
CHELSEY DONN:to know.
TREY GERRALD:Also, I did notice in looking at other five stars, it does seem like the parking lot is pretty far from the actual, like, shore where you're going to want to sit.
TREY GERRALD:So that's also part of the sneaker conversation is like, you are walking a really long way.
TREY GERRALD:You're not parking 18 feet from the shore.
CHELSEY DONN:Yeah, I also kind of like it that Lucy likes the beach when it's not so much like the beach, when the waves aren't waving, when the shells aren't shelling, you know.
TREY GERRALD:But, you know, now that you say that, I think that's how I like the beach too.
TREY GERRALD:Cause
CHELSEY DONN:No, I get
TREY GERRALD:I'd rather go to the pool.
TREY GERRALD:The outdoor showers, you have to be
CHELSEY DONN:Oh, oh yeah, and by the way, the one on the top is for your head and body and the one on the bottom is for your
TREY GERRALD:feet.
CHELSEY DONN:in case you didn't know
TREY GERRALD:See, that's what I'm saying.
TREY GERRALD:Chelsea, she keeps saying like
CHELSEY DONN:right, like, I mean, but like, still, I don't know why.
CHELSEY DONN:Even though it's like so obvious and funny, it's endearing.
CHELSEY DONN:It's kind of endearing
TREY GERRALD:and, and because it was like more than 10 years ago, it does make me question when did those double showers pop up on beaches where it
CHELSEY DONN:Oh, I feel like they've been there for a while, for like ever, for long enough that she doesn't need to point it out, but it's adorable.
TREY GERRALD:Alright, I was trying to give her a little, a little bone there, but
CHELSEY DONN:Oh no, they definitely were around at that point.
CHELSEY DONN:They were around like forever, as long as I remember being a little kid and being in Florida and them having those.
CHELSEY DONN:So I know that, I know that they exist.
CHELSEY DONN:Anyway, even beyond the actual like valuable and not like duh information that Lucy gives.
CHELSEY DONN:I do think they're trying to provide value.
TREY GERRALD:No, I still think this is like a, I think it's a queenly review.
TREY GERRALD:I think it's because the humor here is like shining of a light onto Lucy's personality.
TREY GERRALD:This is, I was sending it up with this fake crazy accent, but, but Lucy is like, you know, like my friend was nervous and like they had a
CHELSEY DONN:Right.
CHELSEY DONN:Oh, that was another one.
CHELSEY DONN:That was another
TREY GERRALD:yes, and like, Saying, like, I have no idea how I'll ever go to a non nude beach after this makes me think that maybe this was one of Lucy's first experiences as well at a nude beach.
TREY GERRALD:I do find it to be spell checked.
TREY GERRALD:It has many paragraphs.
TREY GERRALD:It does feel thoughtful.
CHELSEY DONN:Intentional.
TREY GERRALD:Yeah.
TREY GERRALD:And the truth, I think, pointing out, like, oh my god, my feet, here I am, I'm telling you, like, don't
CHELSEY DONN:Right.
CHELSEY DONN:Cautionary tale.
TREY GERRALD:makes me think it could be common, too.
CHELSEY DONN:I definitely think it could be common when going to the beach that you might step on some shells.
CHELSEY DONN:I also just think that Lucy did a really good job of like painting, in my mind, painting the picture of like the type of people you can expect to be at the beach, both by describing the other people and also talking about her own group.
CHELSEY DONN:I feel like I have, I'm going to get some locals, I'm going to get some Lucys from Queens and Friends, probably in their 20s.
TREY GERRALD:That's funny because I also imagine them to be like in their 20s or so, you know, can we guarantee that the locals are always going to be this welcoming, I don't know, but like to be sharing ice and stuff, I think there's a strong impact for me, I feel like it will be welcoming and like besides the sneakers, everything is pretty fucking awesome,
CHELSEY DONN:right.
CHELSEY DONN:I think I really like Lucy.
CHELSEY DONN:I found her really funny, and I'm pretty sure I could go into the crowning if you can.
TREY GERRALD:Yeah, I feel that way too, All right, before we crown Chelsey, Guess what?
TREY GERRALD:It is GAME TIME!
TREY GERRALD:Are you a nudist or a prudist?
TREY GERRALD:Alright, Chelsey, so today, the game that I have created, this one of a kind, never before played game, is Are you a nudist or are you a prudist?
CHELSEY DONN:are you nude or are you prude?
TREY GERRALD:I'm gonna tell you a celebrity, and you're gonna tell me if they have ever been linked in the public eye as being a naturalist, a.
TREY GERRALD:k.
TREY GERRALD:a.
TREY GERRALD:a proclivity to being a nudist, or no, they're just a prudist.
TREY GERRALD:so much.
CHELSEY DONN:Ooh, okay.
TREY GERRALD:Okay, so you'll say nude or prude.
TREY GERRALD:You ready?
CHELSEY DONN:Nude or prude?
CHELSEY DONN:Yeah.
TREY GERRALD:Is this a nudist or is this a prudist?
TREY GERRALD:Put my clothes on, don't look!
TREY GERRALD:Alright, round one.
TREY GERRALD:Chelsey, has Jamie Lee Curtis
CHELSEY DONN:Hmm,
TREY GERRALD:ever been considered a nudist?
CHELSEY DONN:I think, yes, she just reads nudist to me.
CHELSEY DONN:No, Trey, you're
CHELSEY DONN:tricking
TREY GERRALD:I made that up.
TREY GERRALD:Alright, Chelsey, is Celine Dion a nude or a prude?
CHELSEY DONN:I might be bad at this game because I'm going to say rude.
CHELSEY DONN:Ah, good for you, Celine.
TREY GERRALD:you love her even fuckin more?
CHELSEY DONN:Yes.
CHELSEY DONN:We love
TREY GERRALD:Yeah, so Celine Dion has been linked with enjoying being free.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay.
TREY GERRALD:Would you consider Brad Pitt a nudist or a prudist?
CHELSEY DONN:God, I can't tell if you're just trying to trick me because of course, of course, I want to say nude.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm going to say nude.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm wrong.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm, thank
TREY GERRALD:That's right, Brad Pitt
CHELSEY DONN:I mean, why would you or Brad Pitt?
CHELSEY DONN:Wouldn't you be nude
CHELSEY DONN:all the time?
CHELSEY DONN:Hello?
TREY GERRALD:Okay, Chelsey, former TV talk show host, Ricky Lake, nudist or prudist?
CHELSEY DONN:Nudist, for sure nudist.
CHELSEY DONN:What?
CHELSEY DONN:She's such a hippie.
CHELSEY DONN:Are you sure?
TREY GERRALD:I just made her up, her name came to me, and I put her on the list, there's nothing on the internet that proves,
CHELSEY DONN:surprising to me.
CHELSEY DONN:I feel like I've even heard, I follow her on Instagram and I feel like I've even heard her talk about this and like her journey
TREY GERRALD:That's very funny, well if that is so, literally her name just popped out of nowhere to me and I thought, Ricky Lake is so funny, So if she is a nudist, that's circumstance.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay.
CHELSEY DONN:Sure.
CHELSEY DONN:Yes.
TREY GERRALD:Justin Timberlake, nude or prude?
CHELSEY DONN:Hmm.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm going to say prude just because it's unexpected.
CHELSEY DONN:What the hell?
CHELSEY DONN:Trey, sometimes I don't know if you're trying to trick me or not.
TREY GERRALD:Justin Timberlake was on this list.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay.
TREY GERRALD:Okay, Chelsey, seven degrees.
TREY GERRALD:Is Kevin Bacon a nudist or a prudist?
CHELSEY DONN:Nudist?
TREY GERRALD:Very good, not just in Wild Things.
CHELSEY DONN:yes.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay, I got two right.
TREY GERRALD:That's right.
TREY GERRALD:Dame Helen Mirren, nudist or
CHELSEY DONN:Mmm.
CHELSEY DONN:Nudist.
TREY GERRALD:correct!
TREY GERRALD:Alright, another former TV talk show host, Chelsey.
TREY GERRALD:Has Sally Jesse Raphael been linked as a nudist or a prudist?
CHELSEY DONN:I'm gonna say prudest.
TREY GERRALD:Yes, good job, you're right!
TREY GERRALD:I might have revealed my hand, but Ricky Lake came to me and I thought that was so funny, and then I was
CHELSEY DONN:Rikki Lee could definitely be real.
CHELSEY DONN:We're going to have to do a recount at the end of this episode.
TREY GERRALD:then I was like, oh my god, Sally Jesse Raphael, I have to include Sally
CHELSEY DONN:Hilarious.
CHELSEY DONN:I love her.
CHELSEY DONN:I actually, I had
CHELSEY DONN:a character in one of the pilots that I wrote that was named Sally Jesser, Jesse Raphael, an animal.
TREY GERRALD:That's funny.
TREY GERRALD:All right, we have two remaining and then I do have a bonus round.
TREY GERRALD:Okay.
TREY GERRALD:Chelsea,
CHELSEY DONN:I think I'm tied as of now, right?
TREY GERRALD:you are four to four.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay.
TREY GERRALD:Oh, yeah.
CHELSEY DONN:Stevie Wonder?
CHELSEY DONN:I, I, did
TREY GERRALD:so offended.
TREY GERRALD:Christina.
TREY GERRALD:Aguilera, nudist or Pist?
CHELSEY DONN:seen Aguilera?
TREY GERRALD:I growled.
TREY GERRALD:I went, oh hey.
TREY GERRALD:Whoa.
CHELSEY DONN:Nudist.
TREY GERRALD:How'd you know that?
CHELSEY DONN:I just felt it.
TREY GERRALD:I can't believe you thought that was Stevie fucking Wonder!
CHELSEY DONN:Oh,
CHELSEY DONN:yeah.
CHELSEY DONN:That was pretty
TREY GERRALD:Stevie, is that you?
TREY GERRALD:I don't think they've probably vocally ever been considered the same.
TREY GERRALD:Do you see what I'm doing?
CHELSEY DONN:See if you
CHELSEY DONN:wonder.
TREY GERRALD:Okay, that's a joke for Patreon.
TREY GERRALD:right.
TREY GERRALD:All right.
TREY GERRALD:This is our final one before the bonus, Chelsey,
CHELSEY DONN:Yeah.
TREY GERRALD:Dr.
TREY GERRALD:Seuss, nudist or
CHELSEY DONN:Ooh.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm going to say nudist because if you thought that up, I think that's really good.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay.
CHELSEY DONN:Woo.
TREY GERRALD:Okay, but here we go.
TREY GERRALD:So you have, you have two more right than you have wrong.
TREY GERRALD:So this will just be for fun because you win.
TREY GERRALD:So, famous, television, pundit, nepotism, and Republican.
TREY GERRALD:Megan McCain, nudist or prudist?
TREY GERRALD:HOOOOOOO!
TREY GERRALD:No,
CHELSEY DONN:just because it'd be so surprising.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm
CHELSEY DONN:raw.
CHELSEY DONN:That was a good try.
CHELSEY DONN:That was
TREY GERRALD:sh I'm like, I can't believe that you thought my Christina Aguilera was Stevie Wonder.
TREY GERRALD:I'm like really
CHELSEY DONN:I don't think I, I don't think I meant Stevie Wonder, actually.
CHELSEY DONN:I think I meant Little Richie.
CHELSEY DONN:Which is not at all
CHELSEY DONN:safe.
TREY GERRALD:I guess I could see that, maybe.
CHELSEY DONN:Yeah, sorry.
TREY GERRALD:Well, Chelsey, all that means is you win!
CHELSEY DONN:Woo!
CHELSEY DONN:I'm a winner!
CHELSEY DONN:I'm a nudist, not a prudist.
TREY GERRALD:I'm so proud of you.
CHELSEY DONN:Thank you.
VOICEOVER:Review That Review!
TREY GERRALD:Alright, so I feel confident now from that epic win, That me as Stevie Wonder, I'm ready to crown.
TREY GERRALD:you ready to crown, Christina?
CHELSEY DONN:Yes, I am.
CHELSEY DONN:Let's do
TREY GERRALD:Alright, let's do it.
TREY GERRALD:So, Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five
CHELSEY DONN:I'm a genie in a bottle.
TREY GERRALD:Oh, Chelsey and I each have our own set of crown cards, In an effort to not be influenced by one another, We will equally, simultaneously, reveal our ratings, Oh, you shady, shady,
CHELSEY DONN:That's right.
CHELSEY DONN:And this is why Natalie Weiss sings our theme song.
CHELSEY DONN:It's true.
CHELSEY DONN:It's true, though.
TREY GERRALD:You in those fucking sunglasses and me in this fucking
CHELSEY DONN:It's fucking true, though.
CHELSEY DONN:All right, let's get into the ratings.
VOICEOVER:The Queens are tabulating.
VOICEOVER:Total score.
CHELSEY DONN:Okay, I'm holding up four crowns.
CHELSEY DONN:Trey is holding up four and a half crowns.
CHELSEY DONN:I mean, here's why I'm taking away the crown, which I don't really know if it's fully their fault, but some of the information that's useful is no longer relevant.
CHELSEY DONN:And some of the information that's useful is also obvious.
CHELSEY DONN:That being said,
CHELSEY DONN:I really just much of the information that's useful is, is obvious, but I still like the overall tenor of the review.
CHELSEY DONN:I like them.
CHELSEY DONN:I do think they touch on things that I wanted to know about.
CHELSEY DONN:Like if I feel a little.
CHELSEY DONN:Uncomfortable there, am I gonna be like the only person at the beach that's a little gun shy, no pun intended, and I found out that I'm not, so I think that there are answers to questions that people on Yelp might have within this review, and that's why I rated it so high at four.
CHELSEY DONN:Why did you go with four and a half?
TREY GERRALD:I mean, it could be Review Queen for me.
TREY GERRALD:I do feel like there's only good that's intended here.
TREY GERRALD:And there is a lot of like useful information because like maybe you might not consider like there will be no ice cream truck, there will be no way to bring a snack, but I don't know, there's something about it that does feel a little bit like yeah, no shit, like it's a beach, it's gonna be beachy, but I also then conversely also recognize it's like it's a less populated, they aren't grooming this beach, so it is gonna have like pebbles and like there's gonna be sharp stuff because there aren't millions of people walking on every day, this isn't like Miami Beach, but I don't know, I'm just sort of like, uh?
TREY GERRALD:Ultimately, so that's why it's at four and a half.
CHELSEY DONN:Really great review.
CHELSEY DONN:I enjoyed that.
CHELSEY DONN:I'm so wondering how we, how like this is the same person as the review you're about to hear, because it is, without giving too much away, so different, like night and day.
TREY GERRALD:All right.
TREY GERRALD:Well, that's weird.
TREY GERRALD:So I'm excited because this is the first time we're doing this, the opposite ends from the same user.
TREY GERRALD:So if you want to hear this flip side of the story from Lucy M for the Gunnison Beach and the Jersey Shore.
TREY GERRALD:Then you know what you gotta do, you gotta go over to our Patreon.
TREY GERRALD:Chelsey, where do they find that?
CHELSEY DONN:ReviewThatReview.
CHELSEY DONN:com slash
CHELSEY DONN:Patreon.
CHELSEY DONN:Love
TREY GERRALD:Alright, well
CHELSEY DONN:we did
TREY GERRALD:That's another round here on the Jersey Shore, Are you a RQ Ferris Wheel of, uh, top showers and bottom showers for the top part of your body and the bottom part of your feet?
CHELSEY DONN:Thank you for joining us today.
CHELSEY DONN:Were you gymming?
CHELSEY DONN:Were you tanning?
CHELSEY DONN:Were you laundering when you were listening to this?
CHELSEY DONN:However you were listening to this, we love you, we appreciate you.
CHELSEY DONN:If you like what you heard, please do us a favor, tell a friend.
TREY GERRALD:And if you did not like what you heard, were you not gemming, were you not tanning, were you not doing laundry, were you not entertained, like what other way, however else, like we love you, and so then go ahead and tell an enemy, because we hate whoever you hate too,
CHELSEY DONN:Right, right, right.
CHELSEY DONN:Or maybe we love who you hate because you're a hater.
TREY GERRALD:heard, yeah, ooh,
CHELSEY DONN:On this week's after show pod, we are both taking a spin on the Meryl Go
CHELSEY DONN:Round as well as, of course, reviewing the opposite Lucy, Lucy on opposite day when she decided to go for the one star.
CHELSEY DONN:And I wonder why this was said.
CHELSEY DONN:Two years ago, my then boyfriend, 6'4 250
CHELSEY DONN:pounds, Was cornered by a man in the bathroom who forced him to watch him masturbate.
CHELSEY DONN:Hmm, hmm, hmm,
TREY GERRALD:hmm, JWoww, this is Snooki, also wondering why that got said, hmm, JWoww, well, we're gonna, hmm, well,
CHELSEY DONN:this, you can tell we know a lot about Jersey Shore, both of us, because we're like, what are our names
CHELSEY DONN:again?
TREY GERRALD:and um,
CHELSEY DONN:What's the situation
TREY GERRALD:the show, I was like the six pack, but no, it's such a weird, anywho y'all, we just really want you to remember,
CHELSEY DONN:Ignore the haters, you're a queen,
TREY GERRALD:nonspecific, JW and Snookie Queens,
CHELSEY DONN:gender non specific, either way, let your tits out, queen.
CHELSEY DONN:Bye!
TREY GERRALD:boy.
VOICEOVER:Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon member@reviewthatreview.com slash patreon.
VOICEOVER:Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing list@reviewthatreview.com.
VOICEOVER:Arc vetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.
VOICEOVER:Don't be a ana.
VOICEOVER:Call the kvetch line today.
CHELSEY DONN:You look fabulous.
CHELSEY DONN:I can't stop touching my tits in this shirt here.
CHELSEY DONN:This is amazing.
CHELSEY DONN:I wish this was real life, not gonna lie, but I feel like I need to get a boob lift, a boob job, I guess the lift comes with the job, a tummy tuck to get this
CHELSEY DONN:to happen.
TREY GERRALD:what size cup do you think those are?
CHELSEY DONN:I think this is like a really lovely, like, D double D.
CHELSEY DONN:It's not like too big.
CHELSEY DONN:It's perfect.
TREY GERRALD:Well, that's the problem with like big jugs is like they don't sit like that.
CHELSEY DONN:Right.
TREY GERRALD:This is gonna be
CHELSEY DONN:unless you had a boob job.
TREY GERRALD:Exactly.
TREY GERRALD:They have to
CHELSEY DONN:have a boob job, they sit like that, I want my boobs to sit like this, you guys, oh,
TREY GERRALD:breasts are just fat.
TREY GERRALD:Right.
CHELSEY DONN:I don't know, there's muscle in there somewhere, your pectorals,
TREY GERRALD:So when they put no, 'cause they put it under the muscle, right?
TREY GERRALD:Like a.
TREY GERRALD:silicone or whatever so
CHELSEY DONN:I don't, yeah, I don't know why it works, but it sounds great, but it also sounds kind of painful,
TREY GERRALD:want to get i want to get like this area under my chin lifted
CHELSEY DONN:maybe we need to make our next one in five a plastic surgeon,
TREY GERRALD:oh that's a good have we not done
CHELSEY DONN:right?
CHELSEY DONN:We've not done that, we should definitely do that.
TREY GERRALD:all right
CHELSEY DONN:see you on Queens on friday
CHELSEY DONN:if you want to hear the other side of the Lucy story, if you're still listening and you haven't turned this off yet, you gotta get over to ReviewThatReview.
CHELSEY DONN:com slash Patreon and we will see you Queens on Friday,
TREY GERRALD:sea crest out
CHELSEY DONN:Seacrest out.
