UA-198543153-1 Episode 13: The Stanley Hotel / Hex: Old World Witchery - Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald

Episode 13

Episode 13: The Stanley Hotel / Hex: Old World Witchery

The Review Queens get ooky spooky for their thirteenth episode and dissect a 1-Star Yelp review for Hex: Old World Witchery in New Orleans and a 1-Star Google review for the haunted Stanley Hotel. Chelsey has a Real Life Karen Alert! The Queens consider piddles and the Bang/Buck Ratio. Chelsey says Yes to water, Trey says No to BroadwayWorld. Smiley Face.

(05:08) Lodge A Complaint

(11:00) Listener Voicemail!

(15:02) The Stanley Hotel Review

(35:12) Meryl-Go-Round

(40:13) Hex: Old World Witchery Review

(51:16) There's A Reply!

(59:19) My Royal Highness

*****

Leave us a voicemail at 1-850-REVIEW-0

WATCH CLIPS on YouTube!

Visit our website for more: www.ReviewThatReview.com

@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald

---

Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


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Transcript
CHELSEY:

Hello.

TREY:

Hi!

CHELSEY:

All it takes is a little riff from Natalie to get me feeling better, you know?

TREY:

Amen.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Welcome everyone to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

TREY:

Reviews!

TREY:

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

CHELSEY:

That is Trey Gerrald.

TREY:

And that is Chelsey Donn

CHELSEY:

and together we're...

VOICEOVER:

The Review Queens.

TREY:

Oh my God.

TREY:

That was so weird.

TREY:

We were saying the opposite things.

TREY:

It was so ooky spooky.

CHELSEY:

Well, I'm completely disoriented.

CHELSEY:

AH!!!

CHELSEY:

What is that?

CHELSEY:

Could it be....

CHELSEY:

What is the ooky spooky music?

CHELSEY:

The ghost of

CHELSEY:

This is episode 13,

TREY:

I'm scared.

TREY:

It's episode 13.

TREY:

It's so spooky.

CHELSEY:

It's terrifying!

CHELSEY:

With that in mind, I'll start, I'll talk about my week for a second.

TREY:

Please go!

CHELSEY:

I feel like I've had a spooky week.

CHELSEY:

I had a real life encounter with a Karen this week.

CHELSEY:

It was terrifying.

CHELSEY:

But it happened at Best Buy.

CHELSEY:

and Karen was standing next to me and this individual carried with her a

CHELSEY:

She actually arrived at the desk after me, but her energy was so intense that I was like, go ahead.

CHELSEY:

The manager came over and he was being really nice and he was trying to help her.

CHELSEY:

And then the second, like literally the second he left, she was like, Where'd he go, when is

CHELSEY:

How long is this going to take?

CHELSEY:

I don't have all day.

CHELSEY:

I am very busy person.

CHELSEY:

Like I'm in a rush.

CHELSEY:

I'm an, and my point is like, okay, if you're in that much of a rush, then do this later.

CHELSEY:

At one point, she was like, my dog, I gotta pick up my dog.

CHELSEY:

Like if your dog is waiting for you to pick them up, this might not be a

CHELSEY:

Like, just deal with it.

CHELSEY:

I don't know.

CHELSEY:

Just have a little bit of compassion for these people that are working.

CHELSEY:

And I don't know, I had an issue to deal with and it took them a little while to deal with mine too.

CHELSEY:

But after seeing how intense this other person was, I was just like, I've had to be really nice.

CHELSEY:

So anyway, Real Life Karen Alert, they exist.

CHELSEY:

They exist.

CHELSEY:

They're everywhere.

CHELSEY:

and it's,

VOICEOVER:

Oh my God!

VOICEOVER:

It's a Karen!

CHELSEY:

And it's terrifying.

VOICEOVER:

Oh my God!

VOICEOVER:

It's a Karen!

TREY:

I didn't mean to push that twice.

TREY:

It's so spooky.

CHELSEY:

It was terrifying.

CHELSEY:

Anyway, Trey.

CHELSEY:

How was, how was your week?

TREY:

You experienced that and you wouldn't share with me cause you

TREY:

Which is hilarious.

CHELSEY:

It's true.

CHELSEY:

I mean, it wasn't like I guys like thinking about it now.

CHELSEY:

Maybe it wasn't the most interesting story.

CHELSEY:

Maybe I should have just told Trey in the moment, but...

TREY:

I mean, I understand you saw Karen and the wild and this is the place to share

TREY:

My week's been fine.

TREY:

We, we are dealing slightly with little piddles from...

CHELSEY:

Piddles?!

TREY:

From our, um, niece's dog Laila that we're babysitting for three weeks.

TREY:

She likes to do little Pee-Pees here and there.

CHELSEY:

Oh!

CHELSEY:

Little Pee-Pee piddles.

TREY:

Do you guys call those a piddle?

CHELSEY:

I don't think I've ever heard it called a piddle, but I like it.

TREY:

That's really funny.

TREY:

Cause our nephew is staying with us and he's 13 and David referred to it as a piddle.

TREY:

He was laughing, laughing, laughing at like that word.

TREY:

And I thought is that because I think I taught the word to David, but maybe that's a Southern word.

TREY:

Whatever.

CHELSEY:

Oh, is that a thing that like a lot of people in the south are like,

TREY:

That's a really good question.

TREY:

I think my mom always said like, oh, what have you been doing today?

TREY:

Oh, nothing just piddling around like that.

CHELSEY:

Oh, that sounds familiar.

TREY:

But somehow in my brain, like whenever there's like a little, a little Tee Tee mess,

CHELSEY:

A little piddle.

CHELSEY:

Well this Karen took a little piddlel in the middle of the Best Buy and you're then Laila...

CHELSEY:

Laila's been piddling...

TREY:

everywhere!

CHELSEY:

Everywhere.

CHELSEY:

And with that in mind, I just feel like both of us, this was like a rough week, right?

CHELSEY:

You've been dealing with piddling.

CHELSEY:

I've been dealing with Karen,

TREY:

As you were talking about Karen...

CHELSEY:

I already complained.

TREY:

Well, I was going to say, are we in the complaints already?

TREY:

Or are we just like recapping our weeks?

TREY:

It was very hard to tell, which...

CHELSEY:

Which is, I have a complaint too, which is odd for us because they do feel like

CHELSEY:

And then here here's like complaint.

CHELSEY:

But this time I feel like we're both feeling sort of complainy.

CHELSEY:

So I have another complaint to get off my chest and I'd love to hear yours.

CHELSEY:

So tell me about yours.

VOICEOVER:

Lodge A Complaint.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

So my complaints, I don't, this is a little inside baseball, but it really does annoy me.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

So there's this website and it is called BroadwayWorld.com.

CHELSEY:

Love it.

TREY:

I would say in my opinion, it's sort of second tier to a website called

TREY:

They use the playbill organization.

TREY:

It's a trademark thing.

TREY:

It's the little yellow banner at the top.

TREY:

It's a very specific type font.

TREY:

Anyway, a lot of news for the Broadway culture.

TREY:

Yeah, it's comes up on playbill.

TREY:

So BroadwayWorld is like they operate individual websites for every state.

TREY:

And so somewhere along the line, Broadway World realized that they could get a lot more traction

TREY:

But the thing is, is that the only way to win these awards is by the number of votes.

TREY:

So it really turns into like a popularity contest.

TREY:

It'll be like, what my complaint today is about are these acting Broadway World

CHELSEY:

Sure.

TREY:

And they get nominated for Papa Pig, best actor.

TREY:

And in order to win in the Saskatchewan BroadwayWorld Acting Awards, you have

TREY:

So people there are many offenders in my life will go on this, um, campaign on social media

TREY:

Please vote for me."

TREY:

And it's like, girl, I did not see you play Papa pig in the Saskatchewan

CHELSEY:

I can't vouch for your performance.

TREY:

And then the people that take it very seriously, they'll listed as like

TREY:

And it's all just a little silly to me because.

TREY:

There is no merit to winning because you've just bothered enough people.

CHELSEY:

It's not as if there was like a council of people that saw this person

TREY:

No, because it's like individual states and there's just no one policing it.

TREY:

So then it becomes.

TREY:

Obviously, I don't like confrontation, but like here I am talking about it on a podcast,

TREY:

Please just vote."

TREY:

And it's like, well then what are we doing here?

CHELSEY:

Right.

CHELSEY:

And they don't know, like, you're a queen, you're a Review Queen.

CHELSEY:

Like we take this job very seriously.

CHELSEY:

I'm not going to just throw you a vote.

CHELSEY:

If I, if I haven't seen, if you have the chops to pull off this role.

TREY:

Well, the next time this happens, I really can say, "Unfortunately,

TREY:

Here's a link to the podcast.

TREY:

Why don't you give it a listen!?"

CHELSEY:

That's true.

TREY:

That's my complaint.

TREY:

Just don't ask people for popularity contest.

TREY:

That's sort of obnoxious, whatever everyone finds their own bliss.

TREY:

Anyway, that is my complaint.

TREY:

So if you are an offender of that, stop sending them to me.

TREY:

Chelsey, what is yours complaint this week?

CHELSEY:

Thank you for asking.

CHELSEY:

I want to get something off of my chest today.

CHELSEY:

Uh, and when I say that, I mean, literally.

CHELSEY:

Yep, listen, my complaint is you probably can't empathize with me and I hope some people listening

CHELSEY:

And they're just, they're terrible.

CHELSEY:

Like they, they never make it through a wash.

CHELSEY:

They just end up bundled and in the middle and they look like a weird growth on your chest.

CHELSEY:

I just don't understand, like if you're not going to take the time to actually sew in a proper

CHELSEY:

That's like, oh my God, thank God I have this.

CHELSEY:

Sometimes they'll have a bathing suit that has that, but they'll at least leave a slit

CHELSEY:

Like this is a real waste.

CHELSEY:

Talk about The Giving Tree and like just wasting all of this resources.

CHELSEY:

Fine.

CHELSEY:

At least I can remove it.

CHELSEY:

The bathing suits that I have, I had a cut a hole in it.

CHELSEY:

I had to literally damage my bathing suit to retract this thing.

CHELSEY:

Like ridiculous.

CHELSEY:

The amount of time I've wasted on this.

CHELSEY:

So any bathing suit designers out there, we gotta do better.

TREY:

Do they like get deformed when you like put them in the dryer or something?

CHELSEY:

That's what I'm saying.

CHELSEY:

Like a hundred, like it, like it folds into itself.

CHELSEY:

And then it becomes like a triangle, like, but like not in a sexy way, not like in a Madonna,

CHELSEY:

In like a really unattractive, like, strange growth on my chest.

CHELSEY:

Kind of like it.

CHELSEY:

It's so not serving the purpose that it seems to be intending to serve.

CHELSEY:

It's a shoulder pad, it's basically a shoulder pad.

TREY:

That's what I was picturing.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

That they've they've inserted or into the thing, but they don't sew it in.

CHELSEY:

So it just flimsy in there.

CHELSEY:

Anyway, I feel great that I got that off my chest because whew!

TREY:

These like body deformations and these liars, all of these topics, they're just so

TREY:

ooky spooky.

TREY:

I'm scared.

CHELSEY:

I'm definitely afraid.

TREY:

Well, thank you for sharing that.

TREY:

Thank you for letting me in on that.

TREY:

I'm really appreciative to know that...ooop...

VOICEOVER:

Listener Voicemail

TREY:

Chels-Chels.

TREY:

Guess What?

CHELSEY:

Oh my God!

TREY:

We've got a shitty, shitty Listener Voicemail today.

CHELSEY:

Oh, my God.

CHELSEY:

It's shitty?

TREY:

I might be tipping the hat...

TREY:

tipping...

TREY:

my hat?

TREY:

Tipping the hand?

CHELSEY:

Tipping your hat?

CHELSEY:

You might be giving me a little bit of a clue there.

TREY:

Well, let's listen to today's Listener Voicemail.

CHELSEY:

I'd love to hear it.

CHELSEY:

Let's hear it.

VOICEOVER:

Hey, Review Queens.

VOICEOVER:

This is James and I have got to Lodge a Complaint.

VOICEOVER:

I just am so done with the people who don't pick up their dog's poop.

VOICEOVER:

It is causing aninflux of flies in, in central Los Angeles at the moment, especially when you

VOICEOVER:

People treat the dog park as if it's like daycare and they don't have to pay

VOICEOVER:

You have to pick up the poop.

VOICEOVER:

Am I alone?

VOICEOVER:

I don't think so.

VOICEOVER:

Who are these people?

VOICEOVER:

What world did they come from?

VOICEOVER:

Ugh.

VOICEOVER:

I'm done kvetching.

VOICEOVER:

Thank you.

CHELSEY:

Yay.

TREY:

Yay, James!

TREY:

That was so good!

CHELSEY:

James, I'm glad you got that off your chest.

CHELSEY:

I agree.

CHELSEY:

Like, I always think like, people do this thing where I think they try to

CHELSEY:

I just, I didn't know that my dog pooped there, like you knew.

TREY:

Yeah, that's not real.

TREY:

I was a Professional Dog Walker for a couple of years in New York City.

CHELSEY:

Wow.

TREY:

So I can really relate to this conversation.

TREY:

It's very interesting.

TREY:

I've never thought about the analogy that James just presented.

TREY:

That dog owners treat the dog park as a daycare, but like it's interesting the point

TREY:

I'm not paying attention.

TREY:

It's like that.

TREY:

I've never really thought about that.

TREY:

That is so true.

TREY:

I've also never correlated flies with dog poop, but that is so interesting.

CHELSEY:

Yes!

CHELSEY:

Also the flies in Los Angeles right now, the flies are out of control right now.

CHELSEY:

I mean, even if the poop is to blame.

CHELSEY:

James is making me feel like maybe it is, then I do think there's

CHELSEY:

I mean, they'll give you a parking ticket in Los Angeles if your tires are

TREY:

Right.

CHELSEY:

Maybe we need to hire some of those meter maids to watch the poop.

CHELSEY:

Just sayin'!

TREY:

Can you imagine?

TREY:

I have been yelled at many times in New York City bending over, picking up dog poop by

TREY:

And I'm literally in the process of picking up the poop...

CHELSEY:

And you're like, This is New York City, baby.

CHELSEY:

Like there's a million people that walk past your Brownstone everyday!

TREY:

And why are you yelling at me while I'm in the act of picking it up?

CHELSEY:

I'm clearly not the perpetrator!

TREY:

James.

TREY:

It's a really great complaint.

TREY:

I hope that you feel some relief by sharing it.

TREY:

That is a definite worthy, uh, complaint to lodge.

CHELSEY:

Very worthy.

CHELSEY:

And we hear you, James.

CHELSEY:

And, uh, we should all do better if you're a dog owner, don't forget your poop bags.

TREY:

Think of the impact of the poop.

TREY:

This is a great reminder.

CHELSEY:

This is a good reminder for all of us.

TREY:

Well, Chelsey.

CHELSEY:

Yes?

TREY:

Is it time for us to jump into some of today's spooky, spooky, online reviews?

CHELSEY:

I guess we must.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

So in honor, of our 13th episode, holy cannoli, I can't even believe it.Trey and I have each

TREY:

And as we are hoping, we won't be cursed for doing so, we will read you the review.

TREY:

We will break it down and rate and review the impact of the review on a

TREY:

It's a very Regal process that we call

VOICEOVER:

Assess That Kvetch!

TREY:

And kvetch means complain.

CHELSEY:

Alright, who's first, today I'm first today?

CHELSEY:

You are first take it away.

CHELSEY:

My, RQ mama!

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

CHELSEY:

All right here we are.

CHELSEY:

So my spooky review is, is from a spooky location called The Stanley.

CHELSEY:

And it's a hotel in Colorado.

CHELSEY:

It's the most famously haunted spot.

CHELSEY:

It's the real life inspiration for Stephen King's book, The Shining.

CHELSEY:

Or the movie if you've seen it with Jack Nicholson, that's what

CHELSEY:

It is a one dot TripAdvisor review from James R.

CHELSEY:

I'm also going to point out that in James R's handle it's Author/Traveler.

CHELSEY:

let's see what James R had to say about The Stanley Hotel.

TREY:

I'm scared.

CHELSEY:

The title is the only things spooky about this attraction is the hotel experience.

CHELSEY:

The only spooky thing about The Stanley is the experience.

CHELSEY:

Just to briefly describe some of the major setbacks we experienced at the

CHELSEY:

Small portions in restaurant.

CHELSEY:

Dirty rooms, damaged rooms.

CHELSEY:

Chemical burns by bleach yielding, distracted staff members.

CHELSEY:

Watered down beverages.

CHELSEY:

Luke warm water.

CHELSEY:

I usually do not do reviews, but I had such a poor experience at this sadly

CHELSEY:

My hashtag horrible experience began early in the process of booking the hotel.

CHELSEY:

I had stayed at the Stanley before, and my experience had always been good to great.

CHELSEY:

However, this was quite some time ago.

CHELSEY:

So when it was time for my family to vacation in Colorado, I went to their site

CHELSEY:

However, their website informed me that the tours had been canceled and that

CHELSEY:

I almost decided to stay somewhere else due to the cost versus lack of amenities, but with all that

CHELSEY:

This was the most expensive location in which we stayed throughout our week long trip in

CHELSEY:

We arrived right around four o'clock, which was to our knowledge check-in time.

CHELSEY:

Having stayed at the hotel before I know to get there right around the time as the rooms

CHELSEY:

Though, I was second in line, it took a while to be waited on as there was

CHELSEY:

I was patient and pilot...

CHELSEY:

as I enjoyed looking at the scenery in the lobby, I noticed that a tour went by.

CHELSEY:

When I got up to the counter, the individual was short and hurried.

CHELSEY:

I was given a door card and informed the elevator was not working, which was not a pleasant

CHELSEY:

I also asked about the tours, which contrary to their website were being conducted.

CHELSEY:

I wasn't very excited only to find out they were sold out, which could have been a

e room had the best view ever:

The courtyard of the restaurant and the backside of the hotel.

e room had the best view ever:

So much for a dazzling mountain view.

e room had the best view ever:

I've had better views at Motel 6 or the Super 8 in the Midwest than I did at this expensive,

e room had the best view ever:

Dirty and moldy damaged, caulking in the bathroom, dirty grout around the tile in the bathroom.

e room had the best view ever:

My partner and I were appalled by the state of the room.

e room had the best view ever:

We decided to eat at the local restaurant that was open, despite the website.

e room had the best view ever:

We had to wait for almost 20 minutes just to be approached by a hostess, even

e room had the best view ever:

We were shown to a dirty table.

e room had the best view ever:

I did not even notice at first that the table was dirty until I noticed

e room had the best view ever:

When I noticed, I started to get up when an employee came over and nuked the entire table,

e room had the best view ever:

But at least we had a clean table.

e room had the best view ever:

The drinks were watered down, but expensive.

e room had the best view ever:

My dish, which was some type of noodle dish had four noodles in it.

e room had the best view ever:

And my partner joked that I must have ordered off the kid's menu.

e room had the best view ever:

The water was lukewarm, so we did not shower.

e room had the best view ever:

And The Shining wasn't even playing on TV.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So I have, I have a feeling that James is like, how do I put this?

TREY:

I feel like James is probably like a, It's such a long list of complaints that it, it kind of

CHELSEY:

Right.

CHELSEY:

And a clipboard.

TREY:

And a magnifying glass, which I took notes on because the amount of detail

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

TREY:

They were on hands and knees looking at every single detail.

CHELSEY:

They included a couple pictures by the way of like the caulking.

CHELSEY:

A selfie of themselves wearing a mask and glasses, which is perhaps the magnifying

TREY:

Well, it's also interesting that they had a somewhat not so positive

CHELSEY:

Right.

TREY:

But, they still booked again, which was interesting.

TREY:

And then.

TREY:

Like when it came to the point about the chemical burn, which they teed up really

CHELSEY:

Right.

TREY:

But I will say the whole conversation about Lukewarm water that

TREY:

So like, I really give it to James.

CHELSEY:

Really?

TREY:

Like if it's really...

TREY:

oh my gosh, I have...

TREY:

No, if, if it's too cold in the shower, I can't complete the task.

CHELSEY:

But to me lukewarm isn't cold, lukewarm is like the temperature I would give a...

TREY:

Want a shower to be?

CHELSEY:

Well, no.

CHELSEY:

No, no, no.

CHELSEY:

I would, I would want it to be hot, but I'm just saying like, if I was going to give like my

CHELSEY:

And it wouldn't be like ideal, but I don't think it would cause me not to shower.

CHELSEY:

If it was freezing, hell no.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

I don't know.

TREY:

I am sort of like tired from hearing this review from James.

TREY:

I mean, James is just rattling.

TREY:

Oh my God.

TREY:

I just realized James, and this is not our listener voicemail, James.

CHELSEY:

No.

CHELSEY:

Oh Right!

CHELSEY:

This is the James episode.

TREY:

I hope not.

TREY:

Oh my gosh.

TREY:

We're in the Twilight zone.

CHELSEY:

That's spooky!

CHELSEY:

Doo-doo-doo-doo.

CHELSEY:

Doo-doo-doo-doo.

TREY:

I just feel like it's a lot to take in and it is a glaring problem though, if you, I wonder,

TREY:

Because maybe they didn't update the website about the tour and stuff?

CHELSEY:

Yeah, I wondered about that too.

CHELSEY:

Like it doesn't say, it doesn't say how early they booked it.

CHELSEY:

So who knows?

CHELSEY:

You're right.

CHELSEY:

Maybe like at that point in COVID they were not allowing the tours.

CHELSEY:

And then by the time he got there, they were allowing it and he wasn't on it regularly.

CHELSEY:

Also they, from like my little bit of research about this location, they do have just goes

CHELSEY:

And then, you know.

TREY:

I wonder if that's a different operating company.

CHELSEY:

It might be, who knows?

CHELSEY:

I mean, I'm sure they're trying to monetize in every way they could.

CHELSEY:

I personally thought that maybe James has a side hustle is like a contractor or something by like

CHELSEY:

And he just, I felt like he had a clipboard and he was like, caulking, like

CHELSEY:

I don't know.

CHELSEY:

I thought it was interesting, like you said, like he had stayed here before and he came back.

CHELSEY:

He sort of seemed like he knew what he was getting himself into.

CHELSEY:

How long ago had it been since his last visit?

CHELSEY:

It couldn't possibly have gotten that much worse.

TREY:

It's also interesting that James opens the review by saying the only thing

TREY:

Is James, like an adventure seeker.

TREY:

Does James want to be haunted like is James picking this hotel because it could be spooky?

CHELSEY:

I think he definitely is.

CHELSEY:

And I think that, that, like, as I was researching this a little more, that's a trend.

CHELSEY:

Like people like to stay at ghost hotels and they kind of get pissed if

CHELSEY:

Like he wanted to see those twins in the hallway.

TREY:

Not me, nope.

CHELSEY:

He wanted to hear like red rum and he didn't.

CHELSEY:

Me neither.

CHELSEY:

I'm not at all interested in that.

CHELSEY:

So I can't, uh, get inside the psyche of James here to understand why one would want

CHELSEY:

Right?

CHELSEY:

For James.

TREY:

I'm sort of struggling here with the value Like I recognize that the ho the restaurant is

TREY:

Like the maids for the hotel are not going to be the servers, because it

TREY:

Like, it's not the cleanest.

TREY:

And then you have the opposite extreme that like the table was dirty and then

TREY:

So is it dirty or is it I don't, I just like, I don't know, James, I don't want to

CHELSEY:

It's hard for me because one, I don't think I choose to stay at The Stanley personally,

CHELSEY:

I'd be like, ah-ah, off the list.

CHELSEY:

So like putting that aside,

TREY:

Wait, James references that this is a like high-end hotel at one point, do you,

CHELSEY:

It's a four star hotel.

TREY:

And how many stars can you get?

CHELSEY:

And, it's ranked Number one, among luxury hotels in Estes Park by, by US News and

TREY:

But to james's point, if I am purchasing tickets to a four star luxury,

TREY:

I want exceptional customer service.

CHELSEY:

I do.

CHELSEY:

Yeah, I agree.

CHELSEY:

I agree.

CHELSEY:

I think that, that, uh, I wouldn't stay here if I was reading this review.

CHELSEY:

I don't, I'm like super creeped out by cleanliness, especially now.

CHELSEY:

The toilet thing.

CHELSEY:

That's also like a real pet peeve with the ring around the toilet.

CHELSEY:

So, I wouldn't stay it this hotel.

TREY:

Wait, so tell me about the, um, spelling and grammar because you...

CHELSEY:

okay...

TREY:

Pilot!

CHELSEY:

Yeah, there were...

CHELSEY:

pilot instead of polite.

CHELSEY:

It was funny.

CHELSEY:

Every time I came across like a little spelling error, I was like, maybe you

CHELSEY:

And I wouldn't have had such high standards for you, but his sarcasm, like you said, he's

CHELSEY:

And then at the end of it, you're going to give a sympathy laugh

TREY:

A sympathy, laugh.

TREY:

Yes.

VOICEOVER:

Like he was teeing it up for us.

VOICEOVER:

He teed it up with that, like lack of service, poor service, or you know, that,

VOICEOVER:

And then also like the room had the best few ever, you know, like he.

VOICEOVER:

He was trying, he was, he was utilizing different kinds of humor, sarcasm.

TREY:

I feel like, uh, James went to the writing school of Margaret Mitchell who wrote Gone

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I think he like maxed out the word count.

CHELSEY:

Like as I was reading it, I was like, Ooh, this is like a novella that James wrote about this.

CHELSEY:

And he only mentioned The Shining at the end.

TREY:

I wasn't sure about that.

TREY:

Like, I wasn't sure if that was James trying to be funny, like, 'and it wasn't

CHELSEY:

I think that they play it on loop.

TREY:

I mean, I would, if I was the manager,

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

It sounds like the kind of place where they're really leaning into the connection with the

CHELSEY:

So.

TREY:

Do you think James is truthful?

TREY:

Like, is this a common experience?

TREY:

Like what do you think

CHELSEY:

I think James is truthful.

CHELSEY:

Like he had some photographic evidence of the dust, of the grout, um, issue like he..

TREY:

Were their images of the chemical burn?

CHELSEY:

There were no images of the chemical burn.

CHELSEY:

So I think that might be a little bit of hyperbole.

CHELSEY:

I don't know, like I went on a cruise once, um, and they were like washy washy, like all the time.

CHELSEY:

Like they, they had this like spray that they would spray on you and

CHELSEY:

And they weren't going to tell us.

CHELSEY:

So I, I understand, I don't want to be acosted by like some weird chemical thing.

CHELSEY:

And it sounds like this person was like lack luster with their cleaning of the table.

CHELSEY:

You know, like we said before, it's like, when you have an experience with a place.

CHELSEY:

You come to expect that same experience.

CHELSEY:

So when that same experience doesn't happen again, I just think he was all kerfuffled

CHELSEY:

The restaurant was going to be there.

CHELSEY:

Like maybe he, the last time he went booked the tour made reservations at the

CHELSEY:

And I just think he was in a bad mood at that point, maybe understandably so.

CHELSEY:

Right.

CHELSEY:

Um, I don't think it's, it's not valid what he's saying.

CHELSEY:

I just think, It was long-winded for sure.

TREY:

Well, that's what I was going to say about like humor entertainment.

TREY:

Like I was not entertained.

TREY:

I felt like he just, I feel like James was just really unable to be pleased.

CHELSEY:

I'm not really sure what the situation with James was, but I agree.

CHELSEY:

Like, I don't know.

CHELSEY:

I think personally that people want to say if this hotel, because of The Shining, I

CHELSEY:

I'll just do the tour.

TREY:

I'm really having a hard time with this.

CHELSEY:

I am too.

CHELSEY:

I'm struggling.

CHELSEY:

I'm struggling.

TREY:

Well, now I'm curious, like you said, this is number one, four star

TREY:

So I wonder like how many other hotels there?

TREY:

I don't know.

TREY:

It does seem to me like you're staying here for the schtickiness.

TREY:

So like you're not going there to be like wined and dined.

TREY:

That being said, if you are a service industry.

TREY:

Hotel.

TREY:

Hello?

TREY:

Like you need to be clean.

TREY:

Like it needs to be nice to a certain degree, like...

CHELSEY:

Especially now because of COVID.

TREY:

Yeah, I don't.

TREY:

I...

TREY:

could you crown it?

CHELSEY:

I guess I'll crown it.

CHELSEY:

I just feel, I feel a little bit conflicted.

CHELSEY:

I'm not going to lie, but let's crown.

TREY:

Yeah, let's crown it.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and an effort to

TREY:

We will simultaneously reveal our rating cards.

VOICEOVER:

The Queens are Tabulating!

TREY:

Are you?

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

All right, I'm ready.

CHELSEY:

I changed at the last minute.

TREY:

I'm ready too.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

VOICEOVER:

Total score!

CHELSEY:

Did you do two and a half?

TREY:

I did two and a half, yeah.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I had two and a half and then last minute I switched to three.

CHELSEY:

We've really reversed here.

CHELSEY:

I'm I'm definitely turning more into the Paula as this, as this goes on.

CHELSEY:

I gave it three because.

CHELSEY:

I think I just kind of didn't like James, no offense, James.

CHELSEY:

And I was like kind of bored by his style of humor.

CHELSEY:

And that was what was making me feel kind of like icky about him.

CHELSEY:

But if I took that away and I was just looking at the information he gave me, I

CHELSEY:

He seemed passionate.

CHELSEY:

He was trying to give us humor.

CHELSEY:

At very least he was really trying to add value and tell the person,

CHELSEY:

Right?

CHELSEY:

Like you should probably know that.

CHELSEY:

And for that reason, I gave him.

CHELSEY:

Why did, why did you give James two and a half?

TREY:

Well, I did two and a half because I didn't want to, I thought I would do three, but

TREY:

I did two and a half because I think there is a little bit of an impact.

TREY:

I do have an impression that it's going to be kind of dirty.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

But I'm also struggling with also kind of, not really liking Janes and which is unfortunate.

TREY:

And we're sorry to James, cause I'm sure James is a lovely person, but just the

TREY:

Sort of made me think I don't know that I would react the way that James reacted.

TREY:

And so for that reason, I did two and a half because while the impact

TREY:

I don't know that maybe, you know, it won't be as bad as James is telling us his experience was

CHELSEY:

I think that's a fair point.

CHELSEY:

And I think something I just thought of when you said that was, I, I do think it's important as

CHELSEY:

Probably not.

CHELSEY:

And that's something I think we should consider.

TREY:

I like that.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

What's the Bang/Buck Ratio.

CHELSEY:

What's the, what's the bang buck in the bang buck on this one was like, not, not the best.

TREY:

Yeah, I agree.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

Well, very good pick, Chelsey.

TREY:

I love that.

TREY:

I love this whole entire world of reviews.

TREY:

We like meet so many interesting people.

TREY:

Like James is such an interesting author.

TREY:

Uh, all right.

TREY:

Let's take a quick break.

TREY:

And then when we come back, we can get into my ooky spooky review!

CHELSEY:

Ooooh, I hate bats.

TREY:

Do you know what this is?

CHELSEY:

Oh is this..

CHELSEY:

Harry Potter.

TREY:

No, it's the theme to Are You Afraid of the Dark!?

CHELSEY:

Oh yeah!

VOICEOVER:

Hold your crown.

VOICEOVER:

We'll be right back.

TREY:

Alright.

TREY:

I don't know why I have to do that, but I have to do that.

TREY:

It's game time.

TREY:

It's time for us to take a quick ooky spooky spin on the Meryl-Go-Round.

CHELSEY:

Oh my God!

VOICEOVER:

I don't feel like an icon.

VOICEOVER:

Most of the days, I feel like 'I can't!' That's with an, a.

CHELSEY:

I think this is like a very Death Becomes Her themed Meryl-Go-Round.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Here's the deal, Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy one-star zinger.

CHELSEY:

And with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll take turns, trying to recite the

TREY:

Just like queen Meryl, who does it all.

CHELSEY:

Before the clock runs out.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So my one star zinger today is from Google reviews and it is for, following our ooky spooky theme.

TREY:

Uh, I almost played the side effect, but then I decided like it's going to

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

So this is for Bane Haunted House and Escape Rooms.

TREY:

This is a one star and it is from CoconutWater, parentheses Kelly, J.

CHELSEY:

Coconut water parentheses Kelly J that's her username?

TREY:

Yep.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

And their review is "trash."

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Pithy indeed!

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Are you ready?

TREY:

I think that I'm ready.

TREY:

Yes.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

VOICEOVER:

Drama, trash announcer, breaking news, trash lifetime.

VOICEOVER:

Ah,

VOICEOVER:

rash game

TREY:

show

VOICEOVER:

opera, diva.

CHELSEY:

That was amazing.

TREY:

I was trying to counter balance my last one, which was like

CHELSEY:

That was really long.

CHELSEY:

That's.

CHELSEY:

Yeah, no, I'm glad you did that.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Let's see how you did one.

TREY:

This might be a personal best for me.

CHELSEY:

I mean without a doubt.

CHELSEY:

This is a personal best.

CHELSEY:

This is an eight.

TREY:

Oh my gosh.

TREY:

Well, that's what happens when it's one word.

CHELSEY:

That's an overall personal best for the entire friggin podcast!

TREY:

Imagine leaving a review that's just "trash."

CHELSEY:

Trash.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So Chelsey, your turn.

TREY:

You're going to be riding on a bat.

TREY:

What was I riding on?

TREY:

I forgot to ask

CHELSEY:

Oh!

CHELSEY:

You're you are riding on a ghost.

CHELSEY:

No, you are riding on a broomstick.

TREY:

That's what I wanted!.

CHELSEY:

I think you, you like entered my brain in that moment and I was like not a ghost!

CHELSEY:

A Broomstick!

CHELSEY:

Anyway.

TREY:

Pocket that for my review coming up shortly.

CHELSEY:

Uh-oh.

CHELSEY:

Okay!

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

My, my review is also from Google.

CHELSEY:

Uh, it is a one-star review for the Villisca Axe Murder House.

CHELSEY:

I know, and it was written by Dean B and Dean B says boring woman was nasty to my group.

TREY:

Great.

TREY:

Thank you.

CHELSEY:

So, Yeah, that's it.

CHELSEY:

Boring woman was nasty to my group.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

I'm going to give your bat some, um, raw meat so that its wings are flappin'!

TREY:

You, ready?

CHELSEY:

I hate bats, but yes, I'm ready.

TREY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Let's do it.

CHELSEY:

Auctioneer

CHELSEY:

pop star

CHELSEY:

film noir,

VOICEOVER:

nasty to my group.

TREY:

Magic show.

TREY:

Spy

TREY:

WWE

TREY:

I love opera diva and WWE so much.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

You got..

CHELSEY:

Because I always max out the mic?

TREY:

No, but it's just so funny.

TREY:

You got six.

TREY:

Very good.

CHELSEY:

I'll take my six!

CHELSEY:

Thank you!

TREY:

Well.

CHELSEY:

You're the big winner, Trey.

TREY:

It's it feels really good the times when I conquer, because you're really good at this game.

TREY:

And I'm just, it means a lot to me, so thank you.

CHELSEY:

Aw!

CHELSEY:

Well, I'm so glad you could win on episode 13 AKA opposite day.

CHELSEY:

No, just kidding.

TREY:

Good point!

TREY:

Really good point!

CHELSEY:

No, I'm kidding.

CHELSEY:

You're so good at this game too.

CHELSEY:

I don't know why you do that and

TREY:

Oh, Pish-posh!

CHELSEY:

Whatevah.

CHELSEY:

Alright!

TREY:

Pish-Posh!

TREY:

Alright let's get back.

CHELSEY:

Back to the show.

TREY:

Back to the ooky spooks.

CHELSEY:

Yes.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

TREY:

Okie-dokie-pokie!

TREY:

So we are back from that game break where I won and it is now my turn.

TREY:

So Chelsey, let me tell you a little bit about a very ooky spooky place...

TREY:

found....in New Orleans!

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

So this is from Yelp.

TREY:

And this reviewer's name is Diana G.

CHELSEY:

K.

TREY:

And this review is for Hex: Old World Witchery.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

Diana G.

TREY:

One star.

CHELSEY:

Sorry.

CHELSEY:

Is a Witchery like a store that sells, witchy stuff?

TREY:

So this is, um, like a gift shop and also they do spiritual readings.

CHELSEY:

Ooh.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

November 9th, 2013.

TREY:

I am appalled to say the least at how immature the owner is and his quote

TREY:

This evening, instead of receiving a heartfelt apology for my past mistreatment

TREY:

Smiley face.

TREY:

Wow.

TREY:

How immature and how irrelevant.

TREY:

I enjoy all things positive and light and have no interest in supporting a store that is

TREY:

Please get a life.

TREY:

Negative energies are not what I need in my life, which is why I will be avoiding this tourist

TREY:

The wares are overpriced.

TREY:

And the last time I tried to buy an item the so-called psychic reader was snide with me and

TREY:

Christopher had two weeks to call me, but he did not until tonight, since I wrote my

TREY:

Obviously, Carrie must be a close friend of his, which is why he never thought

TREY:

Well, Christopher, good luck sending your evil minions to me.

TREY:

I eat them for breakfast smiley face.

TREY:

And I think I might so enjoy it.

TREY:

As I see what other nonsense you pull on others who get victimized by you.

TREY:

You need to focus on sending some positive light to people other than making yourself look foolish.

TREY:

Because now I lost all respect for your store.

TREY:

And you.

TREY:

A real healer loves to heal and a fraud like you with such low intentions

TREY:

Avoid this place like the plague.

TREY:

You will do better spending your money someplace else.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Diana G.

TREY:

Oh, all right.

TREY:

So I, I was curious about this because I, I feel like you operate in sort of

CHELSEY:

For sure.

CHELSEY:

Yes.

TREY:

But to me, I feel like it's all a little ooky spooky.

CHELSEY:

Oh, well, yes, I do operate in the crystals, Patreon is seeing them.

CHELSEY:

What I thought was interesting is like someone who proclaims to have their life mission be

CHELSEY:

I mean, maybe they thought I'm gonna allow people to be aware that they should come in the future.

CHELSEY:

Fine.

CHELSEY:

That's that's okay.

CHELSEY:

But it wasn't really done in a loving light way.

CHELSEY:

She's she said she enjoyed eating.

CHELSEY:

What did she say?

CHELSEY:

They're evil minions for breakfast?

TREY:

Eats them for breakfast.

CHELSEY:

I mean.

CHELSEY:

Come on!

TREY:

And it is also just to your point.

TREY:

It's interesting because Diana G also appears with a new review in 2019 also one star.

CHELSEY:

Oh geez.

CHELSEY:

The review that you just read was written when?

TREY:

2013.

CHELSEY:

So then six years later, bitch is still shopping here.

TREY:

They give it another try and, uh, you know, say horrible things again.

CHELSEY:

Stop.

CHELSEY:

Are we reading that?

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

Basically, I'm not going to read it again, read it.

TREY:

But Diana basically goes through here saying I used to shop here somewhat on a regular basis that

TREY:

Then they rehash the entire experience of wanting to buy a figa the price tag falls

TREY:

And then how the owner was so upset when they placed an honest review, that they insisted that

TREY:

And then it says like, this is my favorite part.

TREY:

I also don't appreciate his anger and his threatening remarks because a true Wiccan,

CHELSEY:

Right!

CHELSEY:

And that, and that's why I'm kind of surprised that she's, she's trying to masquerade as

CHELSEY:

You just sort of allow it to boomerang back to that person.

CHELSEY:

I mean, there's just like so much wrong with this now, knowing that...

TREY:

Wait, question though.

TREY:

Could you do a white light curse on someone like to send goodness to someone?

TREY:

Can you do like a good curse?.

CHELSEY:

I don't know that I would call that a curse.

CHELSEY:

I would call it a blessing, maybe.

TREY:

So, cause could Diana G do like a blessing to the store rather

CHELSEY:

Sure.

CHELSEY:

Why not?

CHELSEY:

I, I just think she's just a conundrum.

CHELSEY:

She's a contradiction in, in one person, everything that she said in the end of

CHELSEY:

And then she shopping there again and she's writing a review again.

CHELSEY:

It's like at very least, if you're going to put that out into the universe, then do not go there.

CHELSEY:

And, and in any way, don't even step foot, even if you're not going to

TREY:

And to that point, I want to reiterate that this is the Yelp review.

TREY:

And in the Yelp review, Diana is referencing the TripAdvisor review.

CHELSEY:

So now we've written three reviews with our white light nature, three, one star reviews,

CHELSEY:

She was waiting for the call from Christopher?

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

So Christopher is the business owner.

TREY:

So I don't know,

CHELSEY:

She repeatedly says too that Carrie seems like she's a good

CHELSEY:

She doesn't?

CHELSEY:

Why is it a good cause?

CHELSEY:

Cause he's defending her?

TREY:

It's confusing.

TREY:

Right?

CHELSEY:

It's very confused.

CHELSEY:

And did she didn't give us any, she said she had a bad, did she say she had a bad psychic reading?

CHELSEY:

Does she give us any details about that?

TREY:

No.

TREY:

It's just psychic is in quotation marks, but it does appear that Diana

TREY:

Diana G was trying to purchase a figa.

CHELSEY:

But obviously, there was some beef that occurred between her and Carrie and she's not

CHELSEY:

Like, why are you so angry?

CHELSEY:

Why are you wanting to put this person on blast for not being real?

CHELSEY:

And then not telling me what it, what it was, give me something that's like, I don't know.

CHELSEY:

Like, I don't feel like she gave me any information other than the fact that

CHELSEY:

She didn't, she didn't give me any useful information about this store.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

The real complaint here is how immature the owner and the psychic reader Carrie are.

CHELSEY:

Yeah, what does that mean?.

TREY:

And then everything else.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

I don't there isn't detail about why either of them are immature other than.

TREY:

You know, threatening to send demons to Diana.

CHELSEY:

And listen.

CHELSEY:

Like I like crystals.

CHELSEY:

I am about it.

CHELSEY:

And I'm also about good energy.

CHELSEY:

So if I was reading the review, I'd want to know, are the prices really high?

CHELSEY:

Did you have a reading?

CHELSEY:

And like, was there something offensive or harmful or whatever that came out of

CHELSEY:

That'd be something I'd want to know.

CHELSEY:

I don't feel like any of the information that I would actually want to know...

TREY:

Is present.

CHELSEY:

I feel like we got a personal diary, entry beef between these two people.

CHELSEY:

And I can't think of a single, a single item of this review that's of use to a

TREY:

And, and yeah, you're right.

TREY:

Like there, I don't know what the value here is.

TREY:

It feels very like a personal vendetta.

CHELSEY:

Yeah, there's no value other than a personal vendetta.

CHELSEY:

Like this is literally an example of somebody that is just going online to just, troll this person

TREY:

But, were are you entertained?

CHELSEY:

I was, but I don't know if I was entertained because of your reading.

CHELSEY:

I mean, like I laughed multiple times.

TREY:

It is interesting.

TREY:

The two times that being cursed with demons as mentioned the sentence both

CHELSEY:

Eww.

TREY:

Which is just kind of spooky.

CHELSEY:

Diana's kind of creeping me out.

CHELSEY:

My bat wings are flying and they're not happy about Diana G.

TREY:

I feel like I could crown it.

CHELSEY:

Let's do it.

VOICEOVER:

The Queens are Tabulating.

TREY:

You ready?

CHELSEY:

I'm ready.

VOICEOVER:

Total Score.

CHELSEY:

Oh, you gave it a half.

TREY:

My first time!

TREY:

I'm giving it half.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Trey, give it half.

CHELSEY:

I gave it one for the vibes.

CHELSEY:

I like, I am somebody that wants to know the vibes.

CHELSEY:

Like, I don't want anybody saying anything nasty to me.

CHELSEY:

I wouldn't want to go in there for that reason.

CHELSEY:

So that's really like the only points that Diana got for me, but I think

CHELSEY:

Why did you decide to do the half?

TREY:

Because it didn't even really occur to me until you were pointing it out: there's literally

TREY:

And I'm someone that doesn't operate in ooky spooky Witchery stuff.

TREY:

So to me, a conversation about a business owner of like a witch store cursing demons

CHELSEY:

This seems like drama.

CHELSEY:

Diana G has got drama.

CHELSEY:

Oh, I hope Diana G's not listening to this.

TREY:

We're going to be cursed.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

She'll eat us for breakfast.

VOICEOVER:

There's a Reply!

CHELSEY:

Oh my God.

TREY:

So we have a reply.

CHELSEY:

I'm so interested in this because the beef was clearly between

CHELSEY:

So wow.

CHELSEY:

Now he gets to hear from the business owner.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

So this is from Christian D, business owner.

TREY:

This is on November 16th, 2013.

TREY:

Diana G's review was November 9th.

TREY:

This review is very disappointing as the reviewer knows she is not telling the truth

One:

as I said on the telephone to this individual, no employee of

One:

There's no personal motivation for them to do so.

One:

And I certainly would not encourage that because even if I were the type to cheat.

One:

And I'm not.

One:

There's no benefit to me at all.

One:

My inventory is replaced automatically.

One:

And if I sell item a at the price and code for item B, my system will

One:

So whatever short term gain I might accrue from fraudulently switching prices would be

Two:

the only discussion of quote unquote demons on the phone call was her telling me that she

Two:

It was all I could do to be patient with her as I was on with her for 30 minutes, listening to

Two:

It actually says new Orla without the N.

Two:

That had nothing to do with the issue at hand.

Two:

And I've received complaints about her from shop owners and others all over the French Quarter.

Two:

By no means, am I exactly Mr.

Two:

Customer service, but I typically stay out of these matters.

Two:

However, when my shop manager called Diana, Diana refused to speak to her, believing her

Two:

This was yet another example of the paranoia level we are dealing with.

Two:

Three.

CHELSEY:

Wow.

TREY:

I did in fact, ban this reviewer from all of my shops because she demanded

TREY:

I told Diana that I believe in giving people second chances and that I would speak to the

TREY:

I am not going to take food off of a person's table simply because

TREY:

It isn't right.

TREY:

And if Diana was any sort of spiritual person, she claims to be, she would understand that.

TREY:

She is certainly in no way a witch, as a true witch understands the 4 F's of

TREY:

There is some homework for those who question our authenticity.

TREY:

These are the rules we live by at Hex.

Four:

As a matter of note, that employee quit upon being spoken to about what happened.

Four:

And we are no longer in contact with her.

Four:

So this idea that she is a close friend is false, but this changes nothing in my position.

Four:

I take reviews on Yelp and TripAdvisor as cues on what to improve on, but I will simply not

Four:

Diana could post a hundred reviews, takes out a billboard on the highway or hires a skywriter

Five:

I did not wait until I saw the review to contact her and Diana knows

Five:

I reprimanded the manager for ignoring Diana's complaint because I do believe that people's

Five:

Seven.

Five:

So we skipped six.

Five:

Anyone that's counting.

CHELSEY:

Oh my God.

TREY:

My name is Christian.

TREY:

Not Christopher.

TREY:

I would never cheat anyone of anything.

TREY:

And the implication here is deeply upsetting.

TREY:

This woman has harassed me on both TripAdvisor and Yelp, and I did everything to help

TREY:

And the manager now understands the importance of responding in a timely way, no matter

TREY:

I only want those in my shop who truly believe in magic power and those

TREY:

I do not believe in putting my product in the hands of crazy people who would misuse the

TREY:

Blessings to all.

TREY:

Even Diana, for whom a good psychiatrist would be the greatest blessing of all.

TREY:

Christian D.

CHELSEY:

Wow.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So that was like so long.

TREY:

It was just hilarious to me that after speaking on the phone, Diana said the

TREY:

And then also that Christian went into such lengthy detail and then also

CHELSEY:

Left six...

TREY:

Or is that a magic thing?

CHELSEY:

Maybe, maybe.

CHELSEY:

Or...

TREY:

666!

CHELSEY:

Oh no, I know.

CHELSEY:

I almost thought about calling this episode 14, so I get that!

TREY:

Ooky Spooky, but I mean, I did have an impact change after reading.

TREY:

It just felt the Christian was very forthcoming and also very calm in the communication.

TREY:

There were like random spelling mistakes here and there, but everything was punctuated beautifully.

TREY:

It was in a list form, really sort of trying to take out all of the toxicity,

CHELSEY:

I agree.

CHELSEY:

I mean, yes, it was, it was a little bit long.

CHELSEY:

Clearly Christian is passionate about all of this, so I understand that.

CHELSEY:

But yeah, after listening to what Christian had to say, I feel like I wanna

CHELSEY:

I just think that Diana seems like a little bit of a menace.

CHELSEY:

Like, I don't know.

CHELSEY:

I just don't, I don't trust her any further than I can throw her.

CHELSEY:

And I got a real bad back, you know.

TREY:

And Christian mentions that other shop owners are aware of who this person is

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

Like, or even like she left because of the landlord sitch, I mean,

CHELSEY:

So, you know, that she overshared.

CHELSEY:

It sounds like he was implying that he really approached her with kit gloves and let her,

TREY:

The whole time!

CHELSEY:

...and then you ended with that, which I don't think was the best move, but...

TREY:

I thought so, too.

CHELSEY:

But that being said, I mean, it's nothing compared to eating the demons of

TREY:

Diana's one star review would not stop me from going to the store

TREY:

It does seem that Diana's operating at a different place and that Christian was very methodical.

TREY:

And...

CHELSEY:

Did you notice that he sent her blessings?

CHELSEY:

Like I said!

TREY:

I did.

TREY:

I did.

TREY:

Alright.

TREY:

Well, anything else there?

TREY:

I mean, I think like let's, let's send positive energy to all involved.

CHELSEY:

Yes.

CHELSEY:

I'm sending blessings to all involved parties, good energy to Diana and Christian.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

My Queen, we did it.

CHELSEY:

We've reached the most Regal portion of our show.

CHELSEY:

Who are you inducting, Trey, for My Royal Highness?

VOICEOVER:

My Royal Highness.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

So this week I am inducting an Instagram account, which might sound a little like whatever,

TREY:

They have currently at the time of recording 193,000 followers.

TREY:

So TheAidsMemorial is updated daily with images, occasionally videos, of

TREY:

The account was created by a person named Stuart who lives in Scotland, which I only

TREY:

And what's so beautiful about this account is that, uh, anyone can submit

TREY:

And I love following it because it's a very beautiful experience to just take a moment,

TREY:

And so I think it's a beautiful account.

TREY:

I would love for everyone to follow it, just to whisper these people's names into the ether once

TREY:

And so I am inducting @TheAidsMemorial Instagram account.

TREY:

Please follow them.

TREY:

That is my inductee.

TREY:

That got really heavy for me.

TREY:

All right, Chelsey.

CHELSEY:

Yeah, that did that, but that's so nice.

CHELSEY:

I mean, that's that, I'm so glad that you brought that up.

CHELSEY:

I didn't even know that that existed and now I'm going to follow and

CHELSEY:

So thank you for sharing that.

CHELSEY:

That was very nice.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

Yes.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So Chelsey, who are you inducting today for My Royal Highness?

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Well, I'm going to induct Wix, and this is not an ad I'm I'm.

CHELSEY:

I love Wix.

CHELSEY:

If you don't know about it, it is a website building platform.

CHELSEY:

I have been building websites for a really long time, across all different platforms,

CHELSEY:

I talked to a guy named Max on the phone for like an hour and geeked out with him about website

CHELSEY:

And I was like, I just might, you know, when you're on the phone with a customer service

CHELSEY:

That was how Max at Wix made me feel.

CHELSEY:

And he he just gave me a lot of personal attention and I felt very much connected to him.

CHELSEY:

And I just appreciate people like Max and just in general for being so supportive and

CHELSEY:

So thank you, Wix.

CHELSEY:

You're the best.

TREY:

And thank you, Max.

CHELSEY:

And, Thank you, Max.

CHELSEY:

Mostly, mostly Max.

TREY:

I love that.

TREY:

You know, I think like the quality of your customer service speaks volumes about the service.

CHELSEY:

Agreed!

CHELSEY:

So they're doing, they're doing something right.

CHELSEY:

That's for sure.

TREY:

All right, Queen, we did it.

TREY:

We made it through the terrifying, ooky spooky forrest of episode 13.

CHELSEY:

I was worried for a second we were gonna get stuck in the quicksand.

TREY:

I thought we might get put in the witch's oven because we ate the gummy bear fence.

CHELSEY:

I thought we were going to be eaten by lions and tigers and bears, oh my!.

CHELSEY:

Okay!

TREY:

And that's the end of that sound cue.

TREY:

So no one ever has to hear it again.

TREY:

I know I really over-played it.

TREY:

But it was fun for me.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Thank you guys for joining us today.

CHELSEY:

If you liked what you heard, please tell a friend.

TREY:

If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

TREY:

If you want to be like James, hit up our voicemail box 1-850-REVIEW-0.

TREY:

You can read us a review.

TREY:

You can lodge your own complaint, or you can induct someone for My Royal Highness.

CHELSEY:

You can follow us on all the socials, just saying, um, @TheReviewQueens

CHELSEY:

I'm @ChelseyBD.

TREY:

and I'm @TreyGerrald it's with two RS,

CHELSEY:

Don't forget the two R's, and don't forget the Y in Chelsey

TREY:

Chelsey's with a Y.

TREY:

Become a member of the Royal Court by joining our Patreon at patreon.com/ReviewThatReview.

TREY:

Our entry level starts at just $5 a month.

CHELSEY:

Watch live clips from our recording sessions on YouTube.

TREY:

And remember,

CHELSEY:

Ignore the haters, You're a Queen!

TREY:

Gender non-specific queen!

CHELSEY:

Bye!

TREY:

Tee-hee-hee.

TREY:

Ooky-Sooky!

CHELSEY:

Okay, you did it again.

CHELSEY:

You said you weren't going to do it again.

TREY:

Well, I wasn't going to play this sound effect.

CHELSEY:

Alright.

CHELSEY:

Boo!

TREY:

Ahhhh!

CHELSEY:

Bye!

TREY:

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

TREY:

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty.

TREY:

Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by

TREY:

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
A comedy podcast dedicated to reviewing pedestrian online reviews!

About your hosts

Profile picture for Trey Gerrald

Trey Gerrald

Actor | Writer | Human-Person
Review Queen 👑
Profile picture for Chelsey Donn

Chelsey Donn

Actress | Comedian | Writer
Review Queen 👑